Hey Guys...Long post...bear with me..

I'm new to 'escorts' not necessarily paid just for FS (aka, TJ, Vegas Strip, etc)

I've gotten closer to 30, and I crave intimacy, so I tried a GFE experience, and was sort of left feeling worse than a standard hookup.

Let me tell you, I know a lot of you are married or are in long term relationships, so intimacy, or any kind of connection would just be cake. I am not, I'm a very busy executive.I'm looking to hear from single guys who are just bad with women (like myself) and have found that carries over to a GFE experience.

Granted...I'm not a great looking guy, I'm simply average, a bit overweight, nothing to write home about. But , you'd think this would be at least a small percentage of clientele they are used to? This shouldn't matter when I'm paying for your time. If it does, mention it in the damn ad. I'm always respectful , well-dressed, and overly hygenic.

You either have it or you don't if your bad with women, your bad with women, your bad with women. But my idea of a GFE is hey look, this guy is paying a ton of cash to feel like a damn stud, lets help that out.

I mean call it a bad first experience, but I really felt like this person would rather I just walked out the door. I sorta wished I did. I won't give her a bad review, because I think it was ME not her, but still, its a customer service industry, to me. It also could be a 'frequent buyer thing' where her 'high' reviews were from multi-visit clients.

My thing is if these sub $1,000 dollar girls cannot handle providing an escape for me, do I have to step it up? I've read porn stars reviews and I think that's the way to go. These average non-actress types ( I'm really beginning to think porn stars are actresses..and legitmate ones..)

I'd like to hear from those that are comparing your average regular-girl, to a true porn star. (Lisa Sparxxx, Dani Woodward, Sabrine Maui, others I've seen on here..)..

From my own deduction, the porn-stars are worth every extra penny, just from reading reviews. I think the regular chicks out there are basically spoiled in their regular lives, and never had to bang the 'ugly' producer to get a gig.

Pardon my flagrance, but I'm venting here, I'm always 110% nice and respectful to a provider. I think it's blaringly obvious that people that are more attractive are getting better service for the same price.

Close your eyes and think of your f'ing boyfriend if you have to. I don't care. But if there should ever be a level-playing field, for guys that are basically average, it should be here... No ? Disagree? I'd like to hear your feedback.

All I know, Is I wish I had gotten myself off and went home with a new 32' Flatscreen instead. Or if there is a provider that isn't a porn-star that thinks she can provide the escape I need, please let me know...Otherwise, I'll wait with the extensive booking and price requirements to bang the REAL talent.

I truly hope people don't think I'm a prick for this, I'm really just sad that I got more satisfaction from watching a porno then being with this person -- as I felt like I myswell have been her dentist -- gyno, or something foul.

Just have an extreme anxiety it's going to be this awful every time, I mean what do I have to do throw 100k at a woman to fly on the clouds for an hour.

no idea.

-m. minanton

Since you don't actually describe what happened or didn't happen it's hard to give you any feedback on that score.  You blame yourself for the bad experience, then you blame providers, so you must still be trying to sort it out.

I'm also no hottie, average build and I'm shorter than 5'7" but I've had some amazing experiences with "sub $1,000 girls" as you call them.  In fact, I've never paid more than $400. I don't think many of us here can honestly be described as superstuds so I don't think your looks are the issue.

As for GFE, did you read her reviews or did you just go by the term?  It has been discussed a lot on these boards and most hobbyists realize that "GFE" is just a marketing term.  You should read the reviews to see what a lady typically does.

I've never been with a porn star but from the descriptions I've read, their services seem no better than any other good provider, but you are partially paying for the "prestige" of being with a porn star.

It's your first experience, so you should wait a bit before hasty generalizations.  Post this on your local board, ask them for advice on good providers, read their reviews.  After you make an appointment, if you have concerns, you should be able to raise them with a provider right off the bat, and if she's well-reviewed she should be able to accommodate your comfort level.

We've all had bad experiences but if you read the posts and reviews, obviously we stay in the hobby because the positive experiences outweigh the negative; and most of us don't see porn stars.

BTW, I hope that's not your real name you're using in the post.

-- Modified on 12/11/2007 4:12:12 PM

You have a confidence problem.  I have found being good with women has very little to do with how physically attractive you are.  It has a great deal more to do with the way you make them feel about themselves.

I doubt a PSE will satisfy you any more the your previous GFE's.  You also seem to generalize that all women / providers are the same.  Of course they are not.

My recommendation would be for you to see a GFE provider with many (15+) 8, 9, and 10's in the performance category.  This will assist you with your confidence as the sure weight of numbers would indicate she has seen someone less attractive than you, worse in the sack, even with a smaller penis - lol.

Most of all adjust your attitude.  Be more optimistic that you are going to have a great time.  Consider your hobby adventure as an opportunity to having fun.  This is not rocket science.

Some comments:

1- If it's intimacy you crave (your own words), I don't understand why you are considering porn stars. Probably not the way to proceed unless a facial is your idea of intimacy.

2- $ has no bearing on the quality of a good GFE provider. Frequently it's nothing but an advertising catch phrase. You will have to do your homework to find good GFE providers by reading reviews.

3- If you are not feeling good after seeing her multiple visits will not change the tides.

Some advice:

1- Try to find a non-pro with whom you can have an ongoing arrangement.

2- Find an independent with favorable reviews. Study her website and reviews so you get sense of her personality. Find out about any gifts she likes. Book for two hours. Give her a present. It takes more than $ to feed the fantasy.

3- Most important of all: The key to intimacy is time. Multiple hours (not multiple visits). You can pay a million dollars and she might act like you are the love of her life but you can't become intimate in an hour.

Your only mistake was picking the wrong provider.  She probably shouldn't be escorting in the first place, as she seems to expect her clients to be hot studs.  I'm definitely not a stud, but I had quite a few great experiences with providers (and one bad experience).  They were friendly, warm, and delivered the services nicely, and that was true even with agency women.

As for the attractiveness on the client's part, I'm nowhere near hot, but I got bad service only once (it's the only 6 for performance in my reviews, and in all honesty, I don't recommend her even to good-looking hobbyists).  I'd say don't worry about your looks.  A good provider will only care about the 3 C's: courtesy, cleanliness, cash.  If all men suddenly started looking like Brad Pitt, the hobby business would crash and burn the next day.

As people before me pointed out, choose providers with more than one page of great reviews (8 or higher).  They've seen plenty of clients they wouldn't consider attractive, so you should get the level of service.  They know how to make even very plain-looking men feel like studs.  With that said, use your best judgment, and get in the habit of dismissing a bad session as a lesson learned.

some even use GFE as a marketing gimic(sp) so to speak.  They think if they post that then they'll get more business.  But I can assure you, if this happened in Las Vegas there are many girls here that I know personally would have treated you like nothing more than a great man who deserved a lot of respect and attention.  Sorry this happened to you hun but don't give up on all of us.

XOXOXOX,
Tasha

OK, I'm 50, I'm fat and I look like a troll. I have amazing sex with my two favorite GFE lady's on every visit. We never stop laughing, boinking, licking and sucking from the time I enter the room until I leave two or three hours later.  If this is not happening for you it may be time to re-examine not only the ladies you are booking but also what you yourself are bringing to the table.
This is not a "customer service industry" in the traditional sense. What you are paying for is intimacy with a beautiful woman, not a robot. You need to participate equally in order for a real GFE experience to work.
Don't let one experience send you over the edge but don't expect the next one to be any better unless you are willing to do your part. It doesn't matter how much you spend on a lady . Ultimately what is going on is an intimate act between TWO people.
Do your research, read some reviews here on TER.  Think about what you like and dislike. If women make you nervous think about trying an older more seasoned lady who may be better at making you feel comfortable.  
I think you will be able to relax and enjoy more as you get a few more experiences under your belt.

I'm pretty average all the way around in terms of looks and build. Somewhat shy around new women and have trouble meeting them.

Having said that, I've had a few provider experiences now. Some were better than others, due to what I could best term chemistry. But each and every one always gave me their full attention and were as intimate as could be expected. But I've limited myself to only well-reviewed ladies with multiple reviews from hobbyists who have made multiple reviews themselves.

You do need to read the dirty details to get a sense of how different providers treat their clients. Its well worth the VIP charge.

But PSE vs GFE refers more to the taboo aspects of the acts, not the degree of intimacy. I don't know why swallowing cum would enhance the degree of intimacy, as opposed to discretely spitting it out.

That is the reason for this board.

"2- Find an independent with favorable reviews. Study her website and reviews so you get sense of her personality. Find out about any gifts she likes. Book for two hours. Give her a present. It takes more than $ to feed the fantasy."

"3- Most important of all: The key to intimacy is time. Multiple hours (not multiple visits). You can pay a million dollars and she might act like you are the love of her life but you can't become intimate in an hour."
 
Excellent points to follow. Another previously mentioned: modify your perception, doll. -e

Given that you arrive in a timely fashion, showered, shaved, with a reasonable attitude, and the all important envelope, there are many ladies with whom you are pretty likely to have a great time.

  You didn't mention if you search the reviews before you picked your GFE experience. As has been stated above, some ladies put GFE in the resume to draw more clients, but do not provide that experience.

 You are already in the general price range of many terrific providers. Search the reviews of providers in your area. Ask for advice on your local board. Then see 2 or maybe 3 top recommended ladies. My guess is that you'll find that you are not actually "bad" with women, rather you are probably overly nervous or self-conscious. These circumstances are very common and the ladies are generally very good at putting you at ease.

 Try not to put to much importance on any of the meetings, and I bet that by the third if not the first most of your concern will be a distant memory.

Good Luck and let us knwo how it goes.
-J
 

-- Modified on 12/11/2007 7:02:29 PM

You apparently just had a bad experience
Try try again !!

Perhaps the lady was having an off day..

Did you brush your teeth and clean your jigger ?

Were you up to par youself ?

I really am joking !

But do not let one bad experience get you down !

Hugs and happy holidays to you !

Sorry your first experience was not so good.
Did you see a well reviewed provider? I may just be lucky, but I have never had a bad experience with a well reviewed independant provider. I would agree with what others have said. do some research, find a well reviewed (mostly 8,9, & 10 rated) lady and schedule a longer (2 hour) appointment so you can get to know the lady.

-- Modified on 12/11/2007 7:44:16 PM

I have seen more than 250 providers since obtaining sufficient wealth to pay any price.  I agree with pretty much everything I've read above.

In particular, let me tell you that there is no correlation between price and value unless you are in the sub 200 universe.  In fact, in my experience, the greatest value has been in the 200-400 range.  I suspect this is because many of the more expensive ladies believe you are paying for the looks (something I don't care much about) and many of the less expensive ladies are either managed by an aggressive pimp or are unable to converse with me on an appropriate level.

Always check reviews and you should be fine.  If you happen not to click once or twice, just know that it happens.  Providers are people too.  They have preferences and even bad days.

I appreciate the response, and the advice

I only say I blame myself due to the fact, that I've only 'clicked' with a select few women. Yes of course this isn't a relationship forum, but women do not find me attractive period, I think it's relevant.

I only mention sub-1000 chicks, because I've been with plenty of girls on the vegas strip , etc, most of which were clock-watchers, some of those experiences were great most weren't, so I had too high of expectactions going into this... I felt it was sort of a 'get what you pay for' . deal.

Unfortunately, I was sort of duped by the GFE marketing term. Only because, I was tired of the clock-watching wham-bam type situation I've delt with in the past.

You seem like you've got quite a bit of experience with this, so I appreciate the feedback, thanks!

No this is not my real name, yes I read the reviews, and I have the VIP membership, just had bad luck I'd suppose.

Better luck next time, I'd deduce.

Right. that is absolutely true. But I think all of us 'hobby' (sorry getting used to this term..) for a different reason. Mine is lack of confidence, I will compleletely admit to that all day long..For various reasons that don't belong in a forum like this.

My question is though, Should I have to worry about how I make them feel about themselves? They are making more than top-gun lawyers to make me happy (p/hour..) I guess perhaps I feel I am not obligated to please them, and that could be my problem.

I do apologize for the generalizations, I have been with tons of 'providers' over the years, just not in this vain. And aside from the cold doctor-like appointments in TJ, I can't say any of them were the same.

That last bit is great advice though, I just get too wound up about it. Happens when your strikin' out in the real world though man.

Thanks for the post.

Hi,

Well to be honest, you could just lay there and look at me and I'd be good. I've seen your posts, and when I make it out again that way, I certainly would enjoy some time.

I mean what you said about the respect and attention, that's all I really want. I'm not dellusional to think I'm going to meet Julia Roberts and drag her off to the altar or something, I'm fairly well grounded in that regard.

I'd chalk this up to a rookie mistake of this particular side of the business. I've followed the business in Vegas from the Avn's which I've attended frequently to the local working girls. I know how it works out there mostly, and actually have had the least dissapointment in that town. Maybe it's the bright lights.

The truth is when the hours up , I know you have to go, it's the time in between 00:00 and 00:59 that I'm concerned about. period. Literally someone could give me a disgusted stare at 1:01, and I wouldn't care. If any of that makes sense...its late..

Thanks for posting

Right,

And that last part is sort of personal prefrences, and can be screened out through reviews, which I agree with.

I think your right about the chemistry aspect, it's ashame though....because chemistry is not a factor in many other paid services in this country...

I think that's my big issue, is having to roll a freakin' dice on chmeistry every time. My point is be dilligent, I've been with plenty of smokin' hot 9's and 10's in Vegas and elsewhere (paid) that pretended (for lack of a better word..) well enough for me.... to suspsend disbelief, It's really the little things that do it for me, and it just sucks when a provider won't even do that.

great point about the money, from your amount here I'd definitely have to say you've got ample proof of this!

You said it all in the last sentence honestly. and I understand they have bad days. But my point is this... If you have a bad day on the set of a movie or television show you don't get the call back.

This person isn't getting the call back .. which is fine , and I'm not going to blast her on a review, because I'm not burning my first bridge, and I feel my utter awkwardness was probably the ultimate cause...I'm used to just going in and going for it, not having to talk and converse and try to build a reportoire (sp) in advance.. I thought I'd enjoy it, but I think it's less akward if I just go for it. Still sorting this out in my head I'd suppose.

Thanks everyone for listening, I'll be around these boards for years to come. -- for better of for worse --

I'm a single guy, just average looks. I"ve had some bad experiences hobbying and I've had great experiences. I think every woman and every session is different, and odds are it was just a bad day for whatever reason. I almost gave up hobbying soon after I started because of the bad experiences I had , but I hung in there, and and am enjoying it very much now.
I would suggest to keep trying other ladies, I'm sure you will find some great ones out there.

Runningman

For a somewhat disappointing performance that the poster admits might be mostly due to his own nerves?   I've had a couple of similar instances where I just didn't click with a provider and things didn't go as well as I might have hoped but I'm not going to "out her".   At worst he should review the experience honestly.

I have to disagree with this statement:

"I think it's blaringly obvious that people that are more attractive are getting better service for the same price. "

That's absolutely not true.  I'm about as average, balding, slightly overweight, homely looking guy you would ever meet, and I have a blast every time because I treat the ladies with respect, show up clean, on time, and prepared, etc etc.  I can guarantee Stud #1 with the same girl who shows up with an attitude and fish breath is getting nowhere near the same service as I am.

But you should treat her with respect and consideration.  

Some hobbyists try to verbally pressure a provider into doing something she doesn't want to [BBBJ, Greek, COF, whatever] and some try to use inappropriate physical pressure, like pushing a provider's head down during BJ.  Both of these behaviors will upset the provider and result in a bad session.  

I am not accusing you of any these things, just pointing out some of the inappropriate behaviors a client can engage in.  As long as you are courteous and respect her boundaries, you should have a good time.  If you're not sure, what those are, ask.  Works for me.

I personally like trying to please a provider.  First of all, I love the taste and feel of a woman's body.  It turns me on to see her body move with pleasure.  It could sometimes be faked, but I'd like to think she appreciates the effort anyway.  Secondly, if she feels good, she'll definitely make sure you do.

If you see my self-description above, I am absolutely not a hot stud and I'm shorter than the average male.

I had one provider, one of the most beautiful women I have ever met, ask me to stay a bit longer - off the clock.  No, I don't have a huge schlong, nor did I suggest any other kind of compensation.  It's just that I do something for her that her other clients don't.  I'm actually shorter than her too.  I don't think this is something she offers to most of her other clients, even the ones who are better looking or more well-endowed than I am.

Hey, someone had to say it.

But...I've had plenty of bad 'GFE' experiences.

The problem with GFE is that even if the provider delivers the full menu, there's no guarantee that you & she will click.

I've even had dates with my ATF when I'm just not in the right mood....and the sex isn't great.

The great thing about the hobby is there's always another girl around the corner.  Keep trying, and sooner or later the sky rockets will appear.

Until then...enjoy the experience!

".I'm used to just going in and going for it, not having to talk and converse and try to build a reportoire (sp) in advance.. I thought I'd enjoy it, but I think it's less akward if I just go for it."

That's not GFE.  

I'm confused because you admit that you think it may be an issue with your discomfort, then you say you'd be happy with just the one hour of attention and respect - though you don't say you were shorted time in the last experience, OR disrespected, just that you didn't feel the chemistry, then you think that the chemistry should be able to just be turned "on" because it's a service industry, then you say you'd be ok with just an actress for the hour...
And now you say you're not looking for rapport, just action.

I'm not sure who is more confused - you or me!
: O

Sweetheart,
I hope this thread helps you to sort out what it is that you are really looking for.  Figuring that out should by itself go miles towards helping you to find those perfect experiences!

Welcome and good luck in your search!

xoxo,
S.

I agree with this, as I adore a woman's body more than breathing air.

I would never verbally pressure a provider. My theory is to just read their reviews, and tailor my actions to those reviews.

I feel like I am not agressive enough ,if anything.

I think I just picked an average looking person thinking it would be better, and was sort of incorrect on that front, but it's live and learn.

And I truly appreciate all your feedback, I hope you'll continue to advise this insight in the future

Thanks

-m

Your an f'in genious man, I can definitely see we think alike. I gotta tell you man, this is how I feel. Like I said, I've been with 9's and 10's ... and plenty with regular non 'GFE' providers. i was trying to get somtehing a little more down-to-earth, and it was a mistake.

This definitely helps, and it makes sense to me. And I feel it's fee-for service ,honestly.

-m

Well it's my first review potentially, and it's not that I want to put anyone on blast. If I need a reference, I don't want drama.

This is a generally well-reviewed provider. The truth is she got lazy cause I was not demanding, and was TOO NICE . . and that's the truth.

Much like most women generally the nice non-demanding soul will leave unsatisfied.

-m

I agree.

that is true. I appreciate that, I think it was mostly first-timer in this fashion type of deal. I did participate equally for the record, it just wasn't happening. Which from what I can discern isn't uncommon. So I'll keep bringing my 'A' game and try to stay optomistic

-m

Thanks, I love hearing from providers.

I am contradicting myself, but that's mostly personal hold-ups, and why I"m unsucessful in my real life.

Why I prefer the actress... Because there is obviously something about me, that is not working for girls. They hate me till they see the S-class in the parking lot...

I enjoy escapism , and getting away from my 80 hour job week and pressure, of being a high-executive.

Why I prefer a provider type is due to the fact, that I have a ton of cash that people just want to grab, and not even get to know me, so why not get the proffesional to help me with my raw desire and not want to divorce me and take it all. .

May sound like i need therapy , probably do..

-m

Well, I'd certainly hope so. But I am not yet convinced. I do what your talking about to the fullest if not more so. I treat it like I'm expecting Jessica Alba to come in and service me, I'm dialed in,. I just think girls in SO CAL are spoiled and I stand by that.

Shout out to my Vegas Girls though... I have yet to have a positive experience in this state, maybe someone will change my mind, this is the adult industry capital of the world.

heh. .

I'll keep playing though..

Trust me your words are VERY MUCH appreciated. and I hope to gain everyone's respect here as I am blantantly honest, but also very amicable.

Go get real chicks.

No I'm just kidding. Your right though, I guess there is some biological chemistry that is real. I've been with about 30 girls total, including providers. I never really noticed the difference between paid encounters, as I had about 10 regular GF's. The Girlfriends were always difrerent, mostly the providers were similar, it was detached but typically hot. the GFE thing is just something new. It really is related to my maturation as an adult, and my need for a woman with some class with my busy schedule.

When you work my hours, it's just the appealing option

-m

Good to know you found my advice useful.  As for looking something down-to-earth, some providers I've been with are very much like that. (See my reviews.)  They do things such as cuddling, holding hands, and talking about personal things they're willing to share.  Maybe it's a part of their service, or maybe it's genuine affection.  Either way, perhaps this is what you were/are looking for.

With that said, maybe your best bet is to look for providers that aren't so hot (i.e. 6 thru 8, rather than 9 or 10).  Here's the logic behind it. Earlier, you said that you weren't a stud.  So if you see a provider who looks like someone you'd be able to find in the civvie world, the session will feel more real, and you'll enjoy it better.  As a bonus, their donations tend to be lower.