1. Single guys

Has seeing escorts caused you to raise your standards as far as the superficial aspects of a relationship? Notably with regards to appearance.

Are you comfortable with dating regular women not in adult entertainment? Do you find that escorts are for the most part more attractive, less attractive or in about the same range as those you have dated in the past?

Let's say you were seeing a really nice, 9 looks and personality of a provider in your book and let's say you met a woman in daily life who you fell in love with, 6 for looks, 10 for personality by your standards...would you be happy with that considering she is a package deal/seeking a relationship/ compatible or in your mind, would you be hoping to find someone more like your provider?

2.
Married guys...anybody ever divorced your wife for a provider?

3.
Anyone every fallen in love with a provider only to find out she was playing with your heart?

Heather-

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write this down.  It never really fit into a review and was hard to just bring up spontaneously on the discussion boards.  

My answer to #2 is “close”, and to #3 is “Love - luckily it didn’t get quite that far.  Messing with my heart – yes”.

About a year ago, my marriage was shaky and I called up a provider while on a business trip to the opposite coast.  I had no intentions other than having an hour of R&R.  She and I had a great time, and I invited her back a couple of nights later, again just for R&R.  This time she showed me pictures of her kids and proceeded to tell me how she was looking for Mr. Right to settle down with.  I didn’t take her too seriously this time.

Over the next several months, I saw her every time I was out there on business, and every time she gave me the same rhetoric about finding the right guy to settle down with.   It really felt like she was sending me a message and I was getting more receptive all the time.  A few months ago it became apparent to me that my marriage was going to move into a separation.  I asked the provider if she would be interested in seeing each other outside of the normal client-provider relationship after I separated, and asked her to be totally honest with me (told her that “no” or even “hell no” were perfectly acceptable answers).  She gave me an unequivocable “Yes!”.

Well, the separation happened.  I called up the provider about a week before the next biz trip to set up a date to go antiqueing in one of the nearby old-town districts – no sex, no money, just spend time with each other.  She said sure, and then added that she had contracted poison oak from one of her clients.  Sounded unique, but didn’t think a whole lot more about it.  When I got out there the next week and called her to finalize our date that afternoon, she gave me the most melodramatic performance I’ve ever heard about how the poison oak was infectious, and she hadn’t been able to work for a week, and didn’t know when she would be able to get out of her house, much less see me, or work, and the house payment was due…

Sounded way too melodramatic to be true.  She works both as an independent and for an escort service.  I was one of her independent clients.  So, for a sanity check, I called her service and asked if she was working that day.  The answer was an unequivocable “Sure!  What time do you want to see her?”  So, it suddenly became obvious to me that she had been lying to me all the way, using her kids and her search for Mr. Right as a lever to pry more money out of me.  When it came time get serious, she cooked up the grossest, most melodramatic lie she could to scare me off.

So, the lesson learned is that thinking of a provider as anything more than an hour of R&R is like walking blindfolded through a minefield.  Whatever she tells you that makes you think she is serious is probably a ploy for money, and she is probably telling her other clients the same thing.  Luckily, for me the mine blew up before things got too far.  Now, any provider that pulls out pix of her kids or starts telling me about looking for Mr. Right (luckily no others have) will be ushered out my door immediately.   And after this whole experience, the separation, and some counseling I have a new appreciation for my estranged wife, and we are actually talking about getting back together.

whodaddy

>> 1. Single guys

>>Has seeing escorts caused you to raise your standards as far as the superficial aspects of a relationship? Notably with regards to appearance.

Funny you should ask this, I know this will sound rather shallow of me but the answer is yes. If I am looking to date someone, I am partially looking for a relationship but I am also driven by the primordial usges to copulate. Knowing I can have 7-10 any day of the week (for a price) makes it difficult to be initially attracted to anything less.

What I consider a 10 however is different to the typical enhanced Barbie model image that many people think of. For me, a 10 is natural and not enhanced (34b on the right body frame is ideal for me). A beautiful smile adds to the mix and a naturally fit body makes up the rest of the package (not the hard body of someone that spends 20 hours a week in the gym). These are just the physical aspects but that's what this question is about.


>> Are you comfortable with dating regular women not in adult entertainment? Do you find that escorts are for the most part more attractive, less attractive or in about the same range as those you have dated in the past?

I would only date women outside of the adult entertainment business. I have dated (and lived with) women involved with adult entertainment in the past and I'm just too damn possessive (translate to: emotionally immature and jelous) to tolerate that in a relationship again.

I find escorts to be in the same range of "attractiveness" as women I have been in a serious relationship with throughout my life but but more attractive than the expanded group of women that I have only "dated".


>> Let's say you were seeing a really nice, 9 looks and personality of a provider in your book and let's say you met a woman in daily life who you fell in love with, 6 for looks, 10 for personality by your standards...would you be happy with that considering she is a package deal/seeking a relationship/ compatible or in your mind, would you be hoping to find someone more like your provider?

This ones easy, if I fell in love with a 6 looks, 10 personality person I could be fully satisfied in that relationship. Looks do influence the pool of women I consider dating but they have nothing to do with who I develop feelings for. If I had a female friend that was 6 looks, I would be open to having a relationship develop I just would not have been looking to get her into bed from the first day we met, that's all.


>> 2.
>> Married guys...anybody ever divorced your wife for a provider?

N/A


>> 3.
>> Anyone every fallen in love with a provider only to find out she was playing with your heart?

As men, I think most of us have fallen in love with someone who was playing with out heart. Whether they were a provider or not dosn't make much difference. I do hope that most providers are above such things though because there is so much room to abuse the situation and really mess with a hobbiest's mind/heart/feelings.

I have a friend that was being played by a stripper a couple of years ago and it really got to him. He would go to the club she performed at and she would tell him that she really liked him. She gave him her phone number and said that she normally doesn't do that for customers. But whenever he would call, he would only get an answering machine and she would never pick up or call back. It just kept him coming back for months until he finally realized that she "really likes" him as long as he's at the club and giving her money.

Men are easy marks in matters of the heart (myself included). I hope that both hobbiests and providers can maintain enough mutual respect and integrity to keep this field free of games of the heart. Unfortunately, I suspect that the unscrupulous are out there and I am always cautious.

-Satori-

#1 Yes -- When I was Single
#2 No -- When I was Married
#3 Yes

Thanks for the POP Quiz Heather, you always manage to
raise the best topics of conversation, IMHO!
Hugz
Lustman!

Just thought... if Heather's questions were re-worded and posed to the ladies out there in our community, how do you respond?
Thanks for your responses in advance!
LM

...for any guy getting involved in this hobby, especially for those preferring the GFE-type of encounters.  There are a few ladies who, particularly once you get to know them, could really make your head spin if you allowed yourself to forget that it's just a fantasty to be enjoyed & not a reality to be pursued.  

I can understand how it can be difficult for a guy to keep his big head on straight.  I've more of less gravitated to seeing the gals I really enjoy on a fairly regular basis than constantly seeking out someone new just for the sake of variety.  And there have been one (maybe two) of these gals that if everything were "civilian" in nature, might have led to a pursuit of a much different relationship.  The fact that I don't really want that kind of relationship at this time, or at least the ties that come with it, is what led me to venture into this hobby in the first place.  But it's probably always a good idea to avoid the possibilty of becoming more involved than you should by not seeing any one gal exclusively..no matter how much she rocks your world!!

"1. Has seeing escorts caused you to raise your standards as far as the superficial aspects of a relationship? Notably with regards to appearance."

Yes and no. On the one hand, before I was dating providers I hooked up with some very attractive women, and some less-than-attractive women. With the ones who were less physically attractive to me, I was always disappointed in what I'd caught, but (because I'm a weakling chump who grew up in North America) I thought that was "wrong" of me, to judge her on the basis of her appearance, and so I didn't ever let myself actually END a relationship because of the appearance of the partner. I should have, since all those hook-ups were actually not very fulfilling for either participant, partly because of my lack of attraction. Now that I have experienced some providers, my standards haven't really changed, but nowadays I adhere to them more. My minimum level for desire hasn't increased, but now I allow myself to stick to it. It's sort of a self-confidence thing.

Also, the actual level of appearance of some providers I've seen, has turned out to be LESS than many women I wouldn't considre dating, so I don't think it's simply a one-to-one thing in which providers are all better looking than civilians, or in which only those civilians I have no access to are as good looking as those providers who I do have access to. It's more complicated. Providers know how to turn themselves out well, and bother to do it, and you only see them when they're at their best, so it isn't really a comparison situation.

"Are you comfortable with dating regular women not in adult entertainment?"

Comfortable? Yes. But utterly desperate to fuck them? No. So the old verities, of how a woman is "supposed" to with-hold sexual favors in order to control the man and gain access to his material and emotional support, no longer hold. I am no longer really part of that game, but I still see people who aren't providers. It's just that, now that I know I have access to providers, the playing field is no longer tipped in the women's favor, because I can just so easily walk away without having gotten fucked, so I don't put up with their shit half as much. If they want to manipulate the crap out of me in the assumption that I'll accept it in the hopes of that anticipated of but oft-delayed fuck, I just stun them by disappearing from their lives. Before providers, I wouldn't even have known that such a positive attitude would have been POSSIBLE in my limited male North American brain, so brain-washed had I become by our male-hating society.

"Do you find that escorts are for the most part more attractive, less attractive or in about the same range as those you have dated in the past?"

About the same range, but the manners in which I end up with them are of course different. The stunningly beautiful women, the TRUE 9s and 10s, I've seldom been with. Most of the women I attend, are right smack exactly at the level of attractiveness that all my civilian girlfriends have been at, if you factor out the uglier girlfriends. And I no longer see the uglier girlfriends, as explained.

"Let's say you were seeing a really nice, 9 looks and personality of a provider in your book and let's say you met a woman in daily life who you fell in love with, 6 for looks, 10 for personality ..."

I wouldn't ever try to "match" a provider with a civilian in that manner. Each person doesn't enter my life in some manner comparing to my "standard" or ideal absolute. But if I found a 6-looks 10-personality civilian partner, I probably wouldn't date her. I'd want a minimum-looks minimum-personality, where minimum is no worse than, say, 8 or 7 (every guy defines his 8s and 7s differently anyway so it doesn't actually matter where you peg the number). Below the "sine qua non" (that's Latin, for "without which nothing") there's no going there; above it, the comparisons simply don't matter. It's a cut-off thing, not a gradual thing.

(continued)

-- Modified on 10/6/2001 7:21:28 PM

(continued from above)

"3. Anyone every fallen in love with a provider only to find out she was playing with your heart?"

No, I haven't. I'm generally pretty jaded by the provider scene ... I know right off the bat that she and I are going to be involved for no more than a few hours, at most an evening. I don't care how stunning she is to me, she doesn't ever really "move" me in that manner. I have to admit, I haven't really met ANY providers whom I consider "stable" in the kind of way that I feel is emotionally compelling for a civilian partner ... there's always a hint, behind one of her jokes or in that strange twinkle in her eye, that some kind of imbalance is lurking just beneath where you otherwise could see it. I don't mean psychological terror, or anything as extreme as that; I just mean, I haven't ever clicked with a provider whom I could imagine accompanying to the zoo without really worrying that she was about to throw a tantrum about her ice-cream cone falling over, whip out her cellular and call Bluto to come beat me up, or break down crying because the spotted lemurs reminded her of ther grandmother's pet Pekingese. It isn't a specific thing ... it's just, that I look and there's that strange freaked-out flinch in their eyes. I've seen some of the "best," nationally reviewed and recommended to be top providers, and they all have it. Maybe I set providers on edge, I dunno, but I think honestly that the nature of the relation is not conducive to me falling in love with them. The things that I need, for falling in love with a woman, include by definition a sense of her not using me for monetary gain, among other things; and, well, the envelope on the counter simply precludes that. So maybe this whole "she's got a look in her eye" is simply my own after-the-fact rationalization, I dunno.

I think providers give me a great deal of self-actualization in the dating scene, in the sense that their existence gives me the promise of the potential to "take the edge off," and the promise itself is so much more important than the actual removal of the edge. I remember the first time I ever really experienced a first-class BBBJ to completion. I had attended a particular provider who was famous for this service, and although looks-wise she was only a 5 or even a 4 in my books, she carried herself confidently and I had read enough reviews to know what I was getting into. I paid the money, and throughout the experience I was stunned (and delighted!). But the point is, how I felt about trying to meet civilian women afterwards. After that amazing BBBJ (and a return trip the next week, of course!), I was able to look some REALLY physically stunning, beautiful civilian women in the eye in a manner I'd never been able to do before. I had previously been somewhat intimidated by them, especially at a "flighty" fun place like an amusement park or a bar, because I've never fit in with the sillier, more loud and whoop-it-up, types of entertainment where people usually hook up in civilian manner. I've never understood picking up strangers in a bar, or getting a stranger's phone number ... why do you think I have to see providers? But after that BBBJ, I knew that this amazing woman on the other side of the dance floor was just a human. I knew, for a fact, that there really were a lot of services she did not already know how to offer. She was primping and princessing herself like she was God's goddamned gift to men, like all she had to do to be fawned over by every man in the place was simply to be herself and expect attention; and I was realizing, that was all an act. If she was as good as the provider at BBBJ, I'd have been surprised; likely, rather, she didn't do much in the sex department, or if she did, she'd have to learn over the course of a relationship how to please her partner, rather than merely assume that she knew it right off.

(continued again)

-- Modified on 10/6/2001 7:21:52 PM

(continued again from above)

Seeing a provider taught me that the way in which civilian potential partners behave, is really a manipulative ploy. The promise of "perfection" is there, in the hotter-looking young women whom I had always been intimidated to approach, whom I have never dated. But experiencing something that was clearly based not on just "being herself" but instead on SKILLS and effort, reminded me of an obvious truth, that the civilian women were NOT perfect, and could not be, and so I shouldn't be intimidated. Now, I can just stare them down and think to myself, "what's the big deal, you can't give a BBBJ like the ones I've had before; maybe I can teach you, if you give me a chance, but until that time, it's your loss not mine." It's a very empowering attitude.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to bring that attitude to full fruition in my dealings with civilians. I'd love to end up with civilian partners who please me, but I don't tend to end up with civilians at all. And that's the flip-side of having access to providers. Knowing, as I do, that a good solid BBBJ or fuck is available just around the corner, tends to cause me to lose that pressing need to find a civilian partner. I just can't be bothered with the prim stuck-up princess bitches any more, so I end up lonely most of the time, and then for a brief period of time I experience a provider, and then I'm lonely again. It's a vicious cycle, and it's a complex paradox, too. Because, if I'm desperate enough to want civilian companionship, then I unfortunately ooze desperation, which of course turns the civilian women off of me, and I don't end up with them. But, if I'm not so desperate, because of the manners in which providers alleviate the stress, then I don't end up with civilian women because I have a strange lethargy and don't actually try to end up with them, which is what in the long run I'd really like to do.

(end)

-- Modified on 10/6/2001 7:22:17 PM

"As men, I think most of us have fallen in love with someone who was playing with out heart. Whether they were a provider or not dosn't make much difference." And, "Men are easy marks in matters of the heart (myself included)."

This information is becoming more known in the psychological community, and in the popular and public realms where emotional fragility, and teaching people to deal with it, are matters of practical application rather than just academic verbiage. We're learning, and the public discourse is now starting to focus on, the fact that young boys are often told that they don't have the "right" feelings about a situation; the fact that adolescent males are much more emotionally reactive than adolescent females (essentially, the girls are playing with nuclear fire because to them it only feels like a piddlin' match-stick flame); that men tend to turn OFF their emotional self-awareness precisely BECAUSE their emotions have largely been negative, and discounted, throughout their school years. "Saving the boys" is one internet monicker I've seen, for this recent movement.

I, too, got manipulated to the point of falling for a woman. Or two. Or three. For a while there, since I was kind of typical in that I was blind to seeing who was availabe for real, the only people I thought were accessible to me, were the women who were PLAYING AT APPEARING accessible, and therefore were making overt and ridiculously unmistakable gestures toward me to communicate that idea. What a surprise, those were the manipulators, not the women whom I ought to have been most interested in being with.

Part of this is the North American culture. We teach our young women that what they have to offer to a relationship is "their wonderful selves," rather than a specific set of skills and acts. That's why we like providers ... the ACTS performed. Even if it's an act of conversation, it's got CONTENT.

If you're familiar with Descartes, you can see that what I'm distinguishing between here is the subject and the object. I suggest that in North America, we allow our (civilian) young females to overly rely on the subjective, the non-verifiable. It's all part and parcel of that "princess" syndrome that plagues us all ...

But that's a different subject. I'm glad you brought this up. It's really ringing my chimes tonight, wonder why ...

As for question number #2, Not yet, but I've been giving it some thought lately.

As for question number #3, I f**king hope not!

Book-guy, that was a very interesting treatise.  You raise a Iot of good points, and I think most of us have felt the way you do at one time or another (or maybe even for years at a time).

Let me offer the following reply to Response #3.  I know the way the question was asked defines a particular context, so forgive me if I'm misinterpreting your response.  That said, it seems that your primary purpose in dating civilian women is the same as your purpose for seeing escorts ie. to have sex.  I would suggest that if sex is your main objective, then an escort is always the better choice.  If you seek sex, go to where sex is offered.  It's more cost-effective, the practioners are more skilled, and are usually at their very best for your session.  No commitment is necessary (beyond financial) and you maintain complete freedom and control.  Pretense is dropped, for the most part, and you can experience the pleasure of a woman without the manipulation.  However, as you, I, and everyone else on this board have found out, there are limitations on what the provider experience can deliver.  That is why we date, and that is what we should keep in mind as we date.

The real problem, it seems to me, is that you are equating dating civilan women with sex, and not much more.  Nobody would ever date or get married if it was just sex they were seeking (just ask any married guy!).  There are better and cheaper ways to obtain sex that require far less effort on the man's part.  Dating non-provider women (whether you ever intend to marry or not) should be done for the purpose of experiencing the sort of more meaningful relationship that isn't possible with a professional escort.  One that can include emotional fulfilment,  caring and perhaps love.  This doesn't preclude great sex, it only adds some dimensions that are not possible with escorts.

It's obvious you're way too smart to just be a player, but I think it's also obvious from your posts that you've reached an impasse in your life as it relates to women.  You know the limitations of seeing providers, but you've also exposed the manipulative games and insincereity of the dating scene.  The real question, IMHO, is whether you are looking for the right things from the women you date, or are you just dating to have sex?  We all know the games women play to get what they want, and we also know that women trade on their looks (and the promise or illusion of sex) to get what they want from men.  But that type of  woman isn't ever going to give you what you should be hoping to achieve in a dating relationship situation.

If you are dating just to get laid, then you are playing right into their (the manipulative women's) strength.  This leaves you with only the two choices you described- 1. Get jerked around by the women you seek to date  2. Get fed-up and eventually walk away from the game entirely and see a provider.  

But what I'm saying is that you need to break this viscious cycle in your dating pattern by changing what you seek from a (civilian) relationship.   This would include changing the type of women you spend your time trying to date in favor of those that seem to have the potential for offer something of lasting value in a relationship.  The real purpose in dating, afterall, is to get to know the women we date well enough to determine if we can achieve something of significance together.  When we just go right to sex, we tend to short-circuit the whole process of exploring this other personality because sex changes the entire male-female dynamic in way nothing else can.  It tends freeze the relationship at the point in time when we started having sex (the physical level), especially if the two people didn't get to know each other first.   Of course, sex can open up other great possibilities for relationship growth too, but only in a longer term relationship.

I'm not saying don't have sex, I'm just saying let the sex flow naturally from your exploration of this other person.  Don't make sex the objective of dating or your relationships will remain forever superficial and unsatisfying- and the good looking woman with the attractive face and figure will always be in the position of having power over you.  And as we've all found, many women wield this power with very little regard to the consequences, particularly the pain they cause to the guys they are dating.  You can reverse this situation by redefining the parameters of the dating relationship in your favor- by making sex the secondary, not the primary objective.  
 

-- Modified on 10/6/2001 11:40:55 PM

These are great points, thanks for replying. I do see how you've gotten off onto the tangent of the issue of sex-only as opposed to legitimate dating, and my statements do indeed lead in that direction. But really, I personally don't think I'm making the mistake of equating civilian dating with simply an opportunity for sex.

I hope not, at least.

Anyway, I understand what you're driving at. For me, the "factoring out" of the sex-only from the equation would be a wonderful ideal to strive for, but in the long run I haven't found any females who can cooperate with that premise. In all civilian interactions, the only women I've met (maybe I'm meeting the wrong people) are so obsessed with their NEED to control a man simply on the basis of their physical desirability, that it all comes down to the issue of, "will he stick around if I fuck him, or will he run away afterwards." So much so, that I have to think to myself (or even say it to her!), "Why does she think that the only thing she has to offer this relationship is her pussy?" I personally don't WANT to be in that paradigm, but I haven't yet managed to interact with ANYONE in such a way that such a paradigm was discarded. Perhaps I bring it out in 'em; perhaps I assume it and they respond that way; or perhaps really, North American civilian females are just fucked up.

We'll never know which. But you're right to make sure I'm not making that mistake. Unfortunately, I have no proof otherwise. I'll just assert, simply, that your caveat ain't me. I see how you got that impression. Good discussion, thanks for your comments.

Good question, Heather!  

In answer,
Actually, I think that my experience with escorts / strippers / assorted sex-industry hooligans has made me less concerned with appearance aspects of the relationship.  Basically, in my experience in the industry,  a provider’s physical beauty is rarely any indication of the level of fun I’ll have with her. Sure, I’ve had some great times with beautiful ladies, but I’ve had my better (and best) times with ladies that wouldn’t rate above 6-7 on my scale of physical attractiveness. And 90% of my horror stories (stand-ups, bait-and-switches, purely mechanical sessions, false advertising nightmares) have been with physically stunning women who don’t have anything behind their eyes but greed. Even with providers, I’m looking for a level of connection and friendliness and enthusiasm that goes beyond how hot they look.

        What I’m looking for in a real relationship is the 10 personality, not the 9’s physically. The fact that I can go out and get the 9 physically if I want to (finances allowing) means that I’m even less inclined to put up with the drama that many women who are physically beautiful spend their lives creating. I think I’ve surprised some real “lookers” by not being blinded by their looks and bowing at their feet.

#2. Not married….

#3.
     Yea gods, yes. Fell in love with a stripper, once, when I was fairly new to the scene. She was gorgeous and friendly and sweet (southern gal), and after seeing her at a club just a few times we were meeting (uh, non-sexually, initially) outside of the club. It was the classic stripper fantasy, a total dream. Once the “newness” wore off, and reality set in, it was a nightmare. Her issues had issues amongst themselves. She was an alcoholic and had a near-stalker ex, titanic family issues (abuse), the emotional maturity of a sixth-grader, a complete inability to balance a checkbook (or have a bank account), and the sort of mood swings that only alcoholics and the mentally unstable can master. Long story short, she vanished back east with a lot of my money and more of my heart. I got over it, but it took a while.

      These days, I literally can not even imagine getting so caught up with a provider. I've even turned down one providers's offer to associate outside of our sessions. As much fun as we have together, for me, our relationship only exists from the start of our session to the end of our session.

Being an escort has made me more demanding of the gents I see on the outside (though I have recently sworn off dating all together).  I have met some of the finest and most gentlemanly creatures in my line of work and I expect nothing less in my personal life now.  My open-mindedness and acceptance of people for who they were has landed me some real winners.  And I still try not to judge too harshly, but my overall attitude with men has reached a different level and I am considerably less selfless (not to mean selfish, ya know what I mean?).

I would be lying if I said that the looks issue is not different.  Of course we deal with with many men, so we get a great deal of variety.  In my case, I have never been a GQ Model seeker, I have dated some not so hot looking men...lol!  But they have had the greatest dispositions, a lot of heart and were awesome lovers.  And while we see many men that we would probably not consider in the casual world, I personally am very grateful to have met them as they too have been some of the more pleasant men I have encountered.

I have never been married but I have had a few married men fall in love with me, I too have grown very fond of a select few but I try really hard to keep that in check.  I have a client now that I kinda dig, but he'll never know it.  LOL! I have yet to date a client or see one exclusively.  But it is very tempting...lol!

Thanks for this opportunity, it's a great thread!!!

Toodles!
Talia

Holy mind fuck batman?!!??!? First of all, good Q's H! IMHO, women, in general, have a need to assert themselves and demonstrate their ability to control and manipulate men with regard to sex.  Obviously, there are varying degrees...in my experience - the hotter the woman the more need she has to demonstrate this ability...

However, I would whole-heartedly agree with someone, book-guy I think, who stated that the looks of a woman (or man for that matter) has absolutely no barring on how good they are in bed or how much fun you will have with them during sex.  Some of the hottest babes seem to think they can get by with just their looks, some just lay there and get pounded during sex, no emotion, no excitment, no enthusiasm.  How fun is that?  whoopdee fuck'n do...  

I would much rather have a woman rated as a "6", in your example, that really gets into sex, has fun with it, enjoys herself, gets vigorous, physical and lets loose rather than some "hot" woman rated "10" for looks, but does not "get into" the scene.  This goes for providers and civilians alike.  

(thank god we have resources like TER so providers that lack in service can be indentified and the really cool, honest, hot, good providers can be properly recognized and honored for their exemplary service.  If only we had something like this for real life?!?!??!!#)(#_)(&@_)()

I would consider dating a provider, though, the downsides seem to outway the upsides with this arrangement.  I have never fallen in "love" with any provider, but have feelings for them, certainly.  I tend to see the same provider(s) for extended periods.  This is because when I find one who "clicks" with me sexually, we both have a stimulating, empowering and remarkable time.  When I find a hot woman that "fits", can handle a rigorous and durable pounding from a large cock, I like to see her several times if not on-going because she is so fun to be with.  I think I would speak for many when I say the true GFE is few and far between.  Some of the girls I visit want to see me on a more frequest basis - It's obvious what we are both getting out of the situation.

I'm surprised there seem to be so many "robo ho's" out there.  I mean if I were in this biz I would try to at least enjoy myself a bit more than some of these gals seem to.  

Anyway, I seen to be getting off track.  So, No - seeing providers has not interfered with my ability to gauge the attractiveness of women, IMHO.  Yes, I would date either providers or civilians.  Though, providers would seem to have a different set of "baggage". Yes, a woman with substance and personality is better that one with looks alone.  

Never married so Q 2: N/A.

I would never put myself in a position to "fall in love" with a provider. Knowing what the arrangement is all about.  See Paragraph 1.  I keep my guard up with women regardless of their status as civilian or provider...

it's late, I'm tired, please forgive the spelling...

I'm single, so I'll answer #1 & #3

You know, the providers I've seen are pretty much just as attractive as the girls I usually date who are non-providers (18-28 yr old, scale 7-8.5).  Occasionally, I'll also do a 9 or 10, if I can find an affordable one, such as in Tijuana, or Rio when I'm on vacation.  But otherwise, I try to look for a girl who also finds me attractive (I'm 23, decent looking & build), and the model types usually think too highly of themselves.  They think they are doing you a favor, and I don't find that sexy at all.  The session usually also turns out rather sterile, unless somehow my oral skills work on them.

Oddly enough, I've paid for providers who look worse (5-6) than my typicall GF, but get crazy over me in bed.  They may be not be very pretty, but it is kinda sexy when someone is all over you like that.  At the same time, you might not want something long term with them or hurt them in any way, so paying for it seems like my preffered route.

I also like to pay, because it so much more convient, without the BS, hassles, and sometimes heavier financial costs of the average relationship.  Sometimes I just feel too lazy to be up to all of that, albeit it can be fun when you're in the mood.

Have I got burned by some providers, and thought they were in love with me?  Yeah, I have had a few times where it's been that way.  Once with an Ecudorian girl in Quito, and the other with a Brazilian girl in Rio.  I almost started something with a TJ girl working in Adelitas, but it was still fun nonetheless.  I just think it's kinda cruel when girls try to cheat with your love (as opposed to lust) to get more money out of you on a regular basis, but such is life.  I wouldn't mind at all to get in a relationship, or marry a girl I liked, regardless of whether or not she's a provider.  However, I must admit it's not easy to have the girl you love having sex with several other men every day, and this isn't about jealousy either.