a few days ago i posted about a provider who sent me a mass emailing with my addy and that of appx 50 other gents clearly showing.

Well, today, guess what i found in my email box?

So, I'm going to send her another gentle chide and remind her, again, why this is not such a good idea.  Perhaps my last email was too gentle?

So, i need your advice here.  If this happens a 3rd time, should i out her?  If so, should it be here or on the NYC board?  I don't want to hurt this woman's biz, and I'm not especially worried about exposure, and no doubt others have been far less gentle than me.  But really, will i have to reinvent the wheel every week for this young lady?  My communications skills are decent, what is it she doesn't get here?

Advice please.  And i promise no precipitate [?] [is that some chemists do?] action until I've had time to digest your input AND until she pulls this boner a third time.

However, others may not be so forebearing.

TY in advance.

I would out her on the NYC board.  She has already outed clients twice.  This is unacceptable, especially since she should have been instructed on how to use bcc.

May want to think about changing your email addy now too. Pain in the neck I know but doesn't seem like she cares enough to make any changes.

This happened to me several years ago, with an agency in Los Angeles.  Unlike your friend, they only did it once, so apparently they learned their lesson quickly.  Doing it repeatedly is inexcusable.  Do you know that she received your first email?  Is she somehow oblivious to the fact that what she is doing is wrong, or does she just not care?  If the former, then I would give her another chance.  If the latter, then I think most people would agree that you would be justified in outing her.

and you would be doing a public service by alerting your local community. There is no excuse for such negligence. You need to get through to this woman what type of damage she can cause by her actions. If she is too obtuse to listen to reason, you owe it to your fellow hobbyist to warn them.

From your posts on another board, I know that gentle chiding is not your style!

Well, 3 strikes and she's out.  I just sent her a lenghty email once again explaining the situation, and why it's problematic, in greater detail.  Let's see what happens.

I'll report a 3rd offense promptly, and if it occurs, i will report it to the NYC board in a calm and dispassionate manner.  Perhaps someone else she's contacted will relieve meof this less than pleasant duty?

Well, time will tell.

I appreciate the advice from all coming in on this.

PS. It can be the caset hat the provider herself is not responsible, but has someone else doing this for her.  I think she may be a semi-independent, and this is the result of her agency affiliation.

Personally I think you should've outted her after she sent the second one. I'd have done it both on this and the NYC board.

Outing her would be a public service. Does this woman have any common sense? This is a private and clandestine activity and shouldn't be for public consumption. Out her and out her now.

I wouldn't be gentle at all with her. Particularly if you have already responded to her once explaining why her e-mails are a big no no.

You are absolutely correct that these mass e-mails put your discretion, and the discretion of every other recipient at risk.

Don't wait for another e-mail. Out her, and send her a link to your post as well.

I'd like to say that I'd gently chide the provider in question and to show some compassion, but I'd be a hypocrite. If someone wrongs me or puts me at risk, I'm the first person in my civvie life to start the mob screaming for someone's proverbial blood.

I think that so far you've handled it quite well, but at what point do you finally say this is too much of a risk to me or others? Three strikes you're out? What if she had really innocent and good intentions? One more time is o.k.?

What about these other men? Do they not care? Are they scrambling, running for the hills and laying low for fear of being caught by their wives, business associates, random people? Does the community in question not seem to care or fear this type of attention? Am I using enough analogies and metaphors in my post?  

Either way, I feel your pain. If I was using my civvie email (aka my real email that friends and family use to contact me) on here and someone sent it around in a mass emailing, I'd DIE. I would be so pissed I'd be screaming about it on every board I could. Then again, I think that if I were a provider who is completely unaware of this computer foible and someone started a thread about my idiocy, I'd be a rather embarrassed provider.

It's a sticky situation and I don't envy you...

Katie

There is no "oops"....if you mentioned it to her after the first mass email and within what..3 daysanf received "another mass email"...pretty safe to say she doenst pay attention...lol

If she publicly takes responsibility for her behavior it might save her business.  I tend to respect people who know they've done something wrong and pro-actively apologize rather over those who have to be hounded.

Obviously, this lady just doesn't get it. If you have a phone number, try giving her a call. Maybe a one on one will get her attention.

before you out her!!!

A quick addendum to this.  I had a similar thing happen where a provider mass emailed  her clients w/o using bcc.  Some of the guys - I guess because they had emailed her in the past - actually had their full names listed right along side of their email handle.  It pays to look at your email profile and make damn sure your name isn't there.

Twice is enough.

Besides, unless you subscribed to be notfied of "specials", why is your info being kept?

If there is a legitimate business conection, beyond hobbying, then I could see it.

There's been many forums dealing with "record keeping". This is just another reason why it can be dangerous. (MHO)

I once had a provider send me a private email, which included her 'real-life' first&last name (she had recently set up a new email account).  I quickly mailed her back, as well as calling her, with a warning that she needed to change her email settings.

Not everyone is a computer geek, and while we should be understanding of that - if you can't figure out how to drive in the snow, do us all a favor and DON'T FUCKING DRIVE IN THE SNOW.

She's been warned once, that should be more than sufficient.  I'd still do her tho, as my hobby email is secure /lol.

Agree with DF, this is just not safe for anyone involved. I would.

-m

This is one step beyond incompetent now. You shouldn't have to put it on the National Board. The NYkers are generally good at flaming her.

"The NYkers are generally good at flaming her."

I think were talking, figuratively, verbal napalm and white phosporus.

...and come to think of it, she was unusually extravagant at Christmas this year. Hmmm....