I only hobby when I travel, to lower the odds of getting outed. I have recently moved beyond strictly closed-door sessions with one provider. We had our first dinner date recently. So there is a small chance that I can be discovered. She brought up the question of a cover, as protection for me. I don't have one, and am attempting to be creative.
She is in her late thirties, and there is a 20+ year age gap. So we don't look like we belong together. So experienced hobbyists, what is your story if someone unexpected who knows you, walks up to the two of you in a restaurant
your home or business.
You can try the old "Meet my niece." routine, but it's pretty transparent. You can also try the secretary or a customer, etc.
Few will believe it, however
traffic areas. Lies are dangerous... probably a coworker or client is the best cover but it's hard to explain away a romantic dinner.
His first sentence says he only hobbies when he travels, so I think he got that covered.
He's probably worrying about running into someone while travelling. Not improbable. I live in Hawaii and I swear, every single time I have been to Vegas I run into people I know from Hawaii. I have also run into someone I knew in Portland.
I have never run into someone I know while out hobbying, and I don't really worry about a cover story if I do, but just pointing out that even if you only hobby away from home, you still could run into someone.
Posted By: harborview
traffic areas. Lies are dangerous... probably a coworker or client is the best cover but it's hard to explain away a romantic dinner.
I'm in the Fashion/Apparel industry and I'm always have lunches and meeting with Designers and owners of model agencies. So if anyone should see me with someone, I'll just say she's a client...Funny, in LA I was once actually having lunch with a agent from Korea. she was very attractive looking. So my wife's friend husband came by to say "Hi" when we were having lunch. I made the intro and I thought all was done, no issues. Well when I got home that night, my wife asked, "so who did you have lunch with?" Dude told his wife.....Now that guy, is blackballed by the guys in our "inner circle"..His man card has been revoked.
Divorce
No one asks me "so who did you have lunch with".
And yes, the guy you speak of should have his man card revoked. What a fucking loser.
Simple first name introduction, then I'd say "good to see you, but we are involved in conversation, maybe we can catch up later".
I'm not one for PDA even if it was my SO, so it's not as if we'd be kissy touchy feely anyway.
Went to see that movie in a theater twice !! I laughed so hard it is a wonder they didn't ask me to leave !!
You didn't tell us what type of work you were involved in, but you can perhaps go with a story that you are investing in her opening a small business. To keep the details private or very vague, no one would raise an eyebrow as that is generally the case with new businesses anyways. And its not too far from the truth 
Jenna x
I don't have a SO, but I have some nosey colleagues, friends, and relatives that would ask all sorts of questions if they saw me with a lady who was young enough to be my daughter. On one occasion, I did bump into a good friend when I was out on a dinner date, but I just introduced her as a friend who was visiting from out of town and left it at that.
I tend to do more hobbying when I'm traveling, so I don't get into these types of situation very often
Or perhaps she's an estate attorney, or a financial planner. Maybe she's your therapist and dinner is an exercise in which she's intentionally stressing your social anxiety with the goal to build up your tolerance levels.
Maybe she was being hit on by so many guys that you, a white knight, offered to sit with her just to keep them at bay.
But then again I'm single, would say I'm on a date, and probably high-five the questioner later.
You're being scouted by another firm and agreed to meet out of town to minimize the chance of coworkers discovering it. Haven't told the wife yet since you wanted to see what the offer was. If anyone tells the wife then you can say it wasn't an appealing offer and had declined.
If you meet with her again or someone else and get discovered again, then it's the same story except this time you had asked the same recruiting agency to contact you after the first visit if anything amazing turned up.
Should someone report it back to your company then it shouldn't be an issue if pros in your field are recruited anyway, and maybe they'll tread more lightly around you.
Of course, none of this matters if she's dressed to impress and you're making a public display of affection!
And yes, I replied to my own post - a breach of etiquette but didn't want to open two threads for my votes.
Sexual Surrogate if it is a friend, then go back to the Divorce Attorney
Then enjoy the meal, drinks and after meal entertainment.
Full disclosure, I've been divorced three times.
Best Regards!
A while ago, a provider friend who is an observing Christian said she would love to go to one of of the wonderful Sunday organ recitals at the National Cathedral in Washington DC, and asked me to take her some time. My SO was out of town so I picked her up and escorted her to the concert. Of course she was dressed conservatively and attractively, not distinguishable from any of the other parishioners. She honestly enjoyed the music, and afterwards I took her to a local restaurant. All of this OTC, by prior arrangement. Nevertheless, a neighbor saw us in the Cathedral and reported to my SO. When confronted, I told the truth -- a provider I had gotten to know as a friend asked me to show her the Cathedral as part of her religious interests, and I complied.
Well...I occasionally hear about this from my SO, but the fact that I gave a mostly factual explanation while eliminating some details helped salvage the situation, with some residual damage to mutual trust with my SO. She has forgiven, maybe, but not forgotten. But it is ironic that my act of facilitating an honest Christian believer who happens to be a wonderful provider to something that was religiously and culturally important to her got me in trouble with my SO. What bothered my SO of course, was not that I "took a sinner to church" but that there was an underlying connection that shouted in loud words "INFIDELITY!!!" Life is difficult.
...she better perform a recital on my organ afterwards too!!
you had been to a strip club together. People are funny that way.
This story makes me think of an alibi Bart Simpson used to explain something he got hold of illicitly:
Won it at a truth telling contest at a church, two towns over.
Maybe try that to explain where you were last night
...It all depends on your attitude and how you carry yourself. The Peter Pan Syndrome works great for me - no responsibilities, life's one big party. I could be with someone 30 years younger than me and she'd still be more mature.
But if life is weighing you down, at least take this tip from Ol' Blue Eyes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61HW8uxzEZ
I've really used this one.
