got stood up by a civie date on a friday night

I haven't been stood up ever but I can alway try to relate. Having providers/clients available isn't the real thing. It's a business transaction as harsh as that might sound. I never see my clients as walking dollar bills but it's against my grain to lie and say it's the same as dating in the real world. There are people that pay for my time that I would never see again and we are talking about money. There's an anticipation that a man in the hobby can not give you. A look, no expectations, no reviews being written, you are being seen as you (Your real name), no a sexual object, not a provider. You are you. That sounds terrible and I know people will probably might not like my answer but I'm no liar and the truth is the truth. I can assure you the guy that stood you up, you liked psychically and you were looking forward to seeing him. Genuinely seeing him, not because he had your donation.  You can never compare a civie to a client as the expectations from a civie are lower than a clients and yeah he doesn't review, he doesn't expect anything the first time you see him. He doesn't know you. To me it's so different, very different. Why would you want to date a civie while doing this line of work my love, I will never understand but that doesn't mean I don't support you. You are a pretty, witty girl I would book you (and holy shit am I picky reason being I don't like women I look at everything) don't feel bad it is what it is. It's obviously his lost. If you seek you shall find just be careful the waters you travel. As having a double life isn't easy and finding a man that understands this is nearly impossible.  

thank you, girl

Well, for us clients, it's a matter of economics.

I might get stood up a couple of times, which doesn't really cost me anything other than maybe a little frustration.

You can never predict it, and you go home unhappy...

Hi Octavia,
     I am so sorry to hear that you got stood up tonight. No one deserves that type of behavior but unfortunately it happens more than you think in real life dating. Like you I got stood up last Friday and my first thought was they have no idea the great guy they left hanging. You deserve someone who is going to want to take care of you and who deserves your love. Where the hobby has some guidelines and rules real life dating is a zest pool of people who only care about themselves. With all that being said you need to try and find someone else. You can't let one jerk decide that your not being worth his time is worth you giving up on finding someone who will truly make you happy.

I'd rather go with the sure thin

James Bond?

Are providers that  keep me from seeking a Civie.  
The p4p is that they leave.  

I would have said the same thing but don't know if I would get the same response from O.  

I am sorry to hear you were stood up.
Just remember inside or outside this hobby things happen.

I am sorry you got stood up.  I am glad that you are willing to take a chance on LOVE because that's the only way you will ever find it.  No, you can not equate the loss of income with taking the  chance.  Just as in the hobby, however, he owes you an appology & a damn good reason.  Etiquatte originated IRL, not the other way around.  Anyone who is so disrespectful of your time & feelings is not worthy (lacking the appology already mentioned).  

Right now, it's mostly the fact that I fund my hobbying by setting aside $20 a week.  It takes two or three months for me to save up enough for a provider.  In the meantime, I am left with no choice but to pursue civies.

I recently wrote about my relationship with someone.  Tragically that all came to an abrupt end last night.  There are certain things in a relationship that I hold as pillars and sadly I learned she had violated the one I consider the most sacred.  Now I'm cleaning up the mess from it.  

thank you

Thank you,Zak...everything you described makes sense to me..i will keep on trying to find someone who brings out the best in me and wants me to be part of their lives....i will not give up...
i am like you in a sense, that i have come to realization that hobby is not real...guys, i really like and have a good chemistry with, turn around and ask for a reference instead of asking me out...this not a real world, and i want real emotions and connections...

he is a civie 100%, was not our first date

lol

jealousy)

it's only when I meet someone special that I desire a romantic connection with another human being. Without that temptation, it all just seems like too much trouble. I guess I am a selfish bastard, because I'm addicted to doing what I want, when I want. If I want to stay in at night, I can. If I want to eat fish today, I can. If I want to eat steak tomorrow, I can. If I want to go to a concert, I can. If I want to watch a movie, I can. If I decide, tomorrow, that I want to go on a road trip...I can just pick up and go

It's my honest impression that almost every client that wants to date
 an escort is blinded by the sex and guess who's gonna get hurt ... someone open for more, and in Octavia's case, she's also looking for love.  

client or SO..........would be a fool...........to stand YOU up...........OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

And overall it's better to learn that on the first date rather than six months or a year down the road.  
       From my perspective civie dating is worth it if you want to find someone to come home to, cuddle with at night, go with to family functions, plan a life with and grow old with. Not everyone wants the same things and to be honest relationships take time and sacrafice. Maybe not exactly sacrifice if it's a good relationship you should truly feel good about giving to your partner and if you do it's not really sacrafice.
        That being said you are very beautiful, stunning really and I for one would do anything I could for at least a first date. You seem intelligent, honest, articulate, sincere and actually open to finding a partner I am not sure what else a man could ask for in a first date. If anything maybe he was intimidated by you but what ever the reason I would put it behind you and move on. I can promise you will find someone who makes you smile simply by being there if you keep looking for it and are open to finding it.  
       Best of luck in your search.  

Unless he has a really good excuse, I imagine it will be his last.

And I say that in both senses of the word.  But here's a question.  Since you don't really want to go out with civvies, how much would you be able to save if you stopped going out with them and put the money towards seeing hookers?  How often do you date and how much do you spend on the average date?  And how often are you getting laid for your money. Do the math.  Rosie Palm is your friend.

sooooo I'm still relatively new and I don't see the word civie in the newbie section. Urban dictionary doesn't have anything for me either. The only thing I think of as to what it means is civilian.  If that's what it means can you please elaborate?

ut I already agree with you 100%.  Unless I had a death in the family or I was dying myself ...

Octavia was stood up by a civie. He wasn't a client just a guy she was going on a non P4P date with.

I learned a long time ago there is always going to be a younger, taller, richer, more handsome guy with a bigger dick right that she has seen and is going to meet in the future, but if it's me she has chosen I have to be secure in the fact that I am who she wants.

thank you

Posted By: some-guy

 
 But I already agree with you 100%.  Unless I had a death in the family or I was dying myself ...  
   
 ... I can't imagine passing up an opportunity to meet with a girl as beautiful and seemingly interesting as that.  
   
 Maybe  if Kate Upton called and begged me to date here. Hmmmm. Maybe that's what happened. ha ha. "Sorry, I have to cancel because Kate just won't leave me alone!"  
   
 * Disclaimer: I am one of OL's White Knights, so take what I say with a grain of salt. *

i wish all men were secure in themselves like you are, my life would be much easier  

You are spot on with many of your comments. I was very secure about this relationship. I knew she providing, wasn't thrilled, but I accepted it. I certainly was not blinded by sex, that is only one aspect of any relationship.  

thank you)

thank you
it was not our first date
and he gave excuses but they were not good enough  

Posted By: 613spades

     And overall it's better to learn that on the first date rather than six months or a year down the road.  
        From my perspective civie dating is worth it if you want to find someone to come home to, cuddle with at night, go with to family functions, plan a life with and grow old with. Not everyone wants the same things and to be honest relationships take time and sacrafice. Maybe not exactly sacrifice if it's a good relationship you should truly feel good about giving to your partner and if you do it's not really sacrafice.  
         That being said you are very beautiful, stunning really and I for one would do anything I could for at least a first date. You seem intelligent, honest, articulate, sincere and actually open to finding a partner I am not sure what else a man could ask for in a first date. If anything maybe he was intimidated by you but what ever the reason I would put it behind you and move on. I can promise you will find someone who makes you smile simply by being there if you keep looking for it and are open to finding it.  
        Best of luck in your search.  
   
             
   

Posted By: octavia.lexa

got stood up by a civie date on a friday night  
     
  for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available

ry reading the post again. It wasn't that complicated. At least you didn't cut and paste my words (your last paragraph) ... I understand the forum and the role you fill here. It's quite fun, you're  usually entertaining, offer some good advice and suggestions and there's nothing wrong with a little good ball busting. Cia

That makes it more understandable if he had a really legitimate excuse but either way I hope you keep looking for the man you want.

For me trust and honesty I'd the baseline for any relationship. Every.  

Exactly, if you have neither you have zero. I live my life very straightforward. There are no surprises.  

Civies are so inconsiderate these days. They think nothing of showing up late or not showing at all.

a NCNS ... it's the f'in age of technology ...  unacceptable.  

Death, being in a coma, arrested with your phone being confiscated, did I mention death?  

OUTSTANDING post---everything you say is spot on!! A secure man will always find somebody--(women are more turned on by genuine confidence than ANY other trait--I've heard this time and time again!!) Like you said GaG--love will find you--NOT the other way around. (Goes back to that ancient adage: "The more you look--the harder it is to find." --one of life's ultimate truths!!)

sometimes he showed up after asking me to get a room and sometimes not. Totally flakey...it exhausted me and killed my sexual attraction.  After I divorced, I want to explore my sexuality again.  I was not 100% that I had a sex drive at all!  Boy, was I wrong!