I think it's crossing a line....I would not see him again just because I wouldn't want it to turn into a stalker or something. It's a business, however, everyone has their boundries.
i would have "the talk" with him. sit him down and break it to him gently...
Honey, We have a great thing going! We are great friends, we enjoy each other's company...and i value our friendship..the way it is. You cant change perfection.
I always try the gentle and easy way first before i just "break it down" and give him a dose of reality. Even then I try to be nice.
but, if he drops the l bomb after a few drinks..IMHO it doesnt mean anything..and i wouldnt read into it.
I hope others chime in on this discussion...for I am curious.
Now, in personal relationships? This explains why I am single. I hear the L bomb and freak the hell out..and run screaming.
argh. i am merely curious if it is possible. i dont see how it is, as i follow a very strict code of conduct. Blurring of lines just causes drama, heartbreak and headaches...
You have the every weekend relationship, making the development of genuine emotion a real possibility, then you have the alcohol, which is known for making stupid statements of its own. Could go either way...
Within the confines of the hobby I have said those words to two ladies, and I meant it both times. Not in any "till death us do part" kind of way, but a very real way nonetheless. It needn't (and shouldn't) alter or interfere with our professional relationship, and it won't bring either of us into the others private life. It is a relationship I allow myself a couple hours at a time on very rare occasions. It's all about context.
It seems to me this has to be governed by "situational ethics." If he says it in the heat of passion or, as Khym says, after a few drinks, don't take it too seriously. But since he's a regular and he says it as though he really means it, or repeats it ardently, then you can't do better than what Khym suggests.
He said it again as he dropped me off this morning. Maybe that's just part of the 'ultimate GFE' for the guy? I don't know whether to take it seriously, or if it's just part of the fantasy for him. Guys, unput?
As I was delivering the package she screams, "I LOVE YOU!!---> (face stuffed into pillow cumming, nails ripping sheets, pussy pulsing)--->r, mmphfff, cock....
Me, "Huh?" Damn! You LOVE me??
Sure...I love you too! It's all good!
(Thinking...I gotta magic wand!)
woohoo!
Her...."Your cock...."
(sssssssssssss...............sound of ego deflating.....slightly...)
that is one thing. He might not even remember having dropped that bomb.
Two weeks from now, when he returns, you need to have a short little talk about the bomb he dropped the last visit and get clear on things. Obviously you can do this with all manner of courtesy and tact. That is, unless he is bombed AGAIN.
What ever the case forget the "I love you too" bomb, you'll both go down in flames.
last night when drinking and again this morning when sober?
Yeah, if I had to guess (which I don't have to but will anyway) he meant it. He got the nerve to after liquid courage (aka booze) and when you didn't react badly he decided to say it again today to see what you would do.
Once while drinking it could have either been the booze talking or something he really felt... sober the next day, chances would seem to be about 100% that it is what he really feels.
You probably want to proceed with caution...a lot of caution.
This is a two sided situation..... First of all if he said it to you when he was sober then most likely he does Love you. Next the question would be how do you feel about him. After that what kind of LOVE is he talking about.... Is it the love of a friend who happens to enjoy some special benefits? Yes it is as a client, but that is ok as long as the client line stays in place. I have a couple of hobby friendships where we both have dropped the L bomb at one time or another. That does not mean I want to move in with them and spend the rest of my life there.. Nor do they want that from me... We ARE CLOSE Friends who happen to have met in the hobby. Yes there is a caring relationship but not a forever after one. As too the how do you feel part that is something only you know and can answer to yourself with honesty.
If he is an ordinary kind of guy who cannot love without desiring to possess and control then (unless you are up for that with him) you need clearly establish with him that that is not in the cards. Murky vagueness is cruel. Terminating the relationship is safest but if you think he is very well behaved you might consider putting him on a hiatus for say six months or a year or when he gets over it, maybe.
If he is one of those rare guys who does not desire to control or possess and/or has a self-sacrificing personality you may safely continue to see him. But make it clear how you feel or rather don't feel. Don't cruelly lead him on with "maybe someday....".
Very few guys are of the second type. Just a few percent. No one will fault you if it isn't worth your while to sort out if he is one of the rare one's who can still be trusted after dropping the L bomb.
I hope you didn't give implied permission for him to say that. Nothing like, "I'd want to hear ANY thing you have to say to me"?
so just be honest with your clients and you wont have any problems.
it's the girls that think it's some kind of game to "play" on a guy's emotions in order to get more money out of him that find themselves getting stalked.
A smarter guy who realizes that he is probably being played that way is not likely to stalk. Likely, stalking wouldn't tell him anything he doesn't know. More likely he might simply make it known somehow how predatory she has been.
It is usually not in the interest of that kind of play girl to ever make things clear. She is supremely indifferent to any potential suffering she may cause. She feeds on ambiguity like a vampire feeding on blood.
The impossibility to communicate clearly about what the boundaries are business wise or personally is a good sign to avoid the person, whether client or provider.
whether client or provider use the L word and the there is some vagueness on the provider side about what that means to her that could be a problem. Couple that with increasing requests for gifts not in consideration of time.....
Only a fool would go stalker. Better to simply permit an opportunity for some clear communication. In general a person of intelligence who cannot clearly declare themselves one way or another is using maybes and possibilities as a game, as a lever, to extract the largest profit.
That is a good general rule. Of course there are rare instances when something else may be happening.
I wouldn't take it too seriously and I wouldn't worry. But, I would watch out for someone that could get a little too drunk...for Hobbiest and Provider! I enjoy a nice Mimosa for sure..but, it's good to keep your wits about you!
I have said 'I love you' many times in the heat of passion, during the act. Strictly my dick doing the talking. I usually warn my provider that I tend to get vocal, not to take me seriously. But this sounds different.......
The worst thing that can happen is you start to date him outside of the industry , then feel an obligation to find other career because he will have a "puss face" with your schedule and be unable to handle you having intimacy with someone other than he.
So picture yourself wondering if there is a future with this guy , a disagreement arises and before you know it here you will be upset pissed and angry thinking, OMFG I lost so much money to him and the industry. F- this crap I'm back on TER. By then you may be dealing with him so pissed off that he wants to call you out.
You're going to feel like he is watching you telling his friends about you and possibly telling higher power.Don't take this risk. Enjoy him and enjoy the fact that you can get into time with him but please for your own sanity don't do it.
In my mind the L word is crossing the line... this is a regular whom you are overnighting with. It's very easy to fal for a woman we have great sex with... that's the protect to women & children hormones kicking in. I have pulled myself up short once (mid sentence) with a provider... my ATF... When we are together we are playing a role... you ladies play this role so well it's challenging to separate the role from reality...
There are many ladies who would refuse a client that professes his love for her & refuses to see reality. A few would string him along & milk him for all he's got, before dumping him. Unless you really LOVE him back... and are willing to take this off the clock... I suggest you rein him in.
I agree you love the time you have together. But if he can't control this you'll have to stop seeing him. skb
They do that from time to time. Trust in yourselfand see the arrangement for what it is. P4P. They are hung up in the moment. The first time I was told, I pretended I didn't hear it. The next time a particular client was walking me to the door and he said it, I turned and said awww I wuv you too..Nothing more needed to be said..
Judge him and the situation - Love to a teenager/20 something often means lovestruck, desirous of an exclusive ongoing monogomous relationship. As we age, I think people find they can "love" more than one person - but not have the need to possess. I "love" a couple favorites, but that means I just really connect with them as a person, enjoy their person and company in addition to hot sex and the physical relationship; but I also know the nature of the relationship and don't expect anything exclusive and know how to play within my budget. I think I could live in a "together" relationship with any one of these ATFs, but have the maturity to realize its not going to happen, so I just enjoy the time I have with them since my income allows me to enjoy this.
I don't think you necessarily should run, just be mindful of the relationship and keep it professional - if the guy starts to expect/demand free time or incessently emails/calls (unless you also encourage/enjoy it), then its time to end it. I have an ATF I'd love to just email exchange/chat/take to dinner more frequently than my paying visits, but unless she initiates and encourages it, would never go there as I respect the relationship and would never be the one to initiate any change.
He was drunk. Don't take it seriously.(IMO) I never believe what anyone says if they are drunk, high, erect, naked, or if I just bought dinner. But that's just me.
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