and doing an outcall at the clients house, it would be, "Honey I am home, early."

Any 5 word phrase containing the word "Wife"

Please douche before I DATY.

You smell like rotten crabs.

Yes, I think you're fat.

You sweat like a Pig.

You have to pay me.

I knocked on wrong door.

mom, dad, sister, brother, clergyman, psychiatrist, hair dresser, repairman, dogwalker, daughter, son, cleaning lady, etc.)

Or for variety, go with "Much worse than your...