If your SO knows you're a provider, is your SO allowed to "provide" outside of the relationship as well?

TET

Only if he is bringing home some bacon so that I may fry it up in my pan...;P

MsManae

If the S.O. is also a provider, sure.  Being a provider is a "job".  Extra-curricular relationships are just that and they don't get the bills paid.

Of course, then there's always the "swinging" relationships.

You are a trouble maker, aren't you?
; )

Fair enough question.
Yes.
Not gonna' happen though... not just for economic reasons.

Apparently so devie, it took 226 reads of my original post before anyone would reply. So your perception of making trouble seems to be right on.

Your honesty is refreshing.


TET

They seem to have no problems with it.

We have an openly communicative, non-monogamous relationship which is why I usually use the FB/SO. Of course, SO only means 'significant other' which you have to determine the Significance, and the Other. LOL!
I have had another provider friend join us a few times.

How does one "allow" another to do anything?

to smile at Brooke.

good question
; )

Only by not putting up barriers to others rights to choose, and allow for themselves.

D.

By agreement.

TET

You can change the word "allow" to any word of your choosing.
or even delete it.

I would still like to have your opinion on the issue though  

TET

I was a stripper for many years, that's how I met my husband. He has never expressed the need to rush out and be a Chippendale's dancer in some sort of tit for tat thing. That is not where his talents lie and frankly, he doesn't have the body for it, he's a teddy bear type.

Now that I am a massage therapist who gives "happy endings" (FBSM) he doesn't seem to have any desire to provide the same for women. I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving handjobs to women (clitjobs?) - but he's definitely not a professional masseuse. If there were such a thing - a male FBSM provider - which was the equivalent of what I do - and he had a burning interest in doing it, certainly we'd discuss it. There are no subjects off limit in our marriage.

Heck, if there were male FBSM providers I'd probably go visit one myself.

I had never had a massage before..and now I had made an appointment, which was hard to get because it was the night before Thanksgiving, but I had been given a coupon offer that was too good to pass up, and I WAS tense!

I was going to LA to spend Thanksgiving with my ex-husband’s family for the first time since our divorce five years earlier. I knew there would be a LOT of questions..

My appointment was the last appointment of the day, which I didn’t realize and when I got there, she told me I was the last; they were going home, and ‘he’ would lock up after my appointment with ‘him’. “HIM?”, I shrieked?? “It – he, is a MAN?”
“Yes, is that a –“, but she was cut off, and the sentence “problem?” was finished by the man who’d just walked in the door, hearing the last bit of our conversation and finished it, so that I was now looking at HIM.

My face quickly flushed a bright red, and I tried to look ever so cool and calm, and said, “No, no..I just didn’t even think about it – I mean, you know, I didn’t picture it, I guess. It’s fine”, but I was panicking inside.

He did his best to put me at ease, voicing every instruction so gently and with a voice as soothing as could be. The lights dimmed, the music began, and I could hear the silence fill the small building as everyone had left.
Did I need to use the restroom? Hell yes. I went to the restroom and it seemed forever before it would come out, and then as soon as I walked out, I felt I had to go again – I was so nervous.

I changed out of my clothes, folding them perfectly, and was completely naked when I slipped under the warm, crisp sheets. I loved the music, and was trying hard to relax..breathe..when he came in.
He told me he’s very good at what he does, and will always keep the sheets folded in such a way that he can massage every area but still maintain my privacy. I was glad to hear it.
It did feel wonderful, but I never could relax. I think I was just too used to being in ‘protect’ mode, particularly alone, particularly around men. NEVER relax – you need to be aware…

Then it was over, and he left me to get dressed, and join him in the ‘lobby’ for some water. I sat with him, and he offered water from the small refrigerator. No, thanks, I know water is great, and good for you, but when it can taste like a nice cold beer, maybe..
I have some beer in the fridge – you need to drink SOMETHING – would you like a beer instead – c’mon, I’ll have one with you. So, we had a beer..and then another..while engaging in some riveting conversation. He was nice, had an interesting life story, and the beer was relaxing..
He told me he had NEVER had a customer as stiff, as un-relaxed, and as nervous as me, and that he would be willing to give me another massage, right now, for free, since I was MUCH more relaxed now..
So, I did. Went to the restroom, changed out of my clothes, and back under the sheets. That wonderful music began again, and the warmest, most tender hands began their magic.

My hair was down to my waist then, and it draped all over the table and tumbled over. My eyes were closed and I dreamily began to relax..and drift..
“God, you’re beautiful..your face..in the light.. your hair..” (I heard far away in my dreaminess)..
Soon, I felt the warmth of …lips? No..fingers..No – lips. Lips caressing my skin like butterflies resting on flowers, moving their way..way down. Under the sheet, and on my inner thighs, now firmer, and warmer, and wetter. Wetter? Wetter. What was wetter. I was. I could even smell that musky smell that permeates the air when pleasure of anticipation is right there..waiting..and then the lips followed the wet, musty place and had their fulfillment.
For what seemed like hours..
And it was real, and I don’t even know how many times I came. I didn’t even care..and then I heard the door close, the tape shut off in the player, and I sat up, dressed, too stunned to open the door.

Finally, I walked out, looked him in the eyes, and then glanced away. I have to go now. I have to go.


-- Modified on 1/19/2004 8:09:14 PM

I like the slow buildup and the way he kept you covered at first, got to chat with him, have a beer, skilled hands, acted professionally, didn't ask for anything in return. Sounds like a guy who knows what a woman wants on the massage table.

Nice story!

This reminds me of Holly Hunter in "Living Out Loud".

Of course, 99 times out of 100, this would never work, but gotta love that lucky bastard for getting #100.

Then again, I could tell y'all the story of the massage I gave to the married woman who worked for me...

Hey, we'd all love to hear your massage story... hehe