At the end of each calendar year, especially during the holidays, many of us reminisce of the events that took place this year, and look at our lives in retrospect. That coupled with some recent discussion threads here, along with conversations I've had recently has got me thinking about many things. One thought that is continuously on my mind is how my life is changed and/or affected by being in this hobby.
Now I'm qouting someone from a previous thread here but he/she stated "this hobby has a bigger impact on all of us than we sometimes care to admit". I believe this to be true, at least for me, and could not agree more. So I would like to know from others, how has this hobby helped you? What have you learned from this hobby? (I mean other than new and creative DATY techniques) And how has your life been affected by being an active member of this online community? Basically, other than the physical satisfaction or financial gain, what do you get out of being in this hobby?
best regards, mr.man
I truly have met people that I consider friends while taking part in this "hobby".
I'll second that!!!!
2003
Met my ATF who has had a significant impact on my life and over all have grown through this experience
Having used the reviews in the past, finally started to interact on the discussion boards
Talked to a lot of interesting people with interesting viewpoints on a subject which would be hard to discuss in my other life
Actually met and partied with some fellow hobbyists and their dates
Met an agency owner and learned a little more about the business end
I've enjoyed getting to know a few providers on something of a personal level, and it's been enlightening. Most of the indies I've met are "real people" who simply do something different for a living than most. And it takes a lot of chutzpah, IMHO. I've gained insight.
I was told by a mentor of mine that I needed to do something to get me to improve my work. He said something big and way out of character. I think he was thinking of a massage or something like that, but.... well.... many thousands and a few months later...
It is funny, but I can see the difference between my work now and before I started. There is a freedom and a fearlessness in my work that I did not have before.
It was seeming a bit gloomy there for awhile with these threads. Finally some positive views. I agree with all of the above. I feel more optimistic, in a sense less distracted by beautiful women I see in the street and in another sense, more appreciative of them as well and women in general. More able to focus on work and friends and confidence.
I think it was Mark Twain, or was it Oscar Wilde, who wrote something like, "The only way is to take care of a temptation is to give in to it."
Instead of living with constant sexual frustration, it's better to be able to take care of it (with someone else, and not just with lonely fanstasy and masturabation).
I find that doing so occasionally frees up my mind and energy to work, and for other interests.
In addition, you get to meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet. And there is a sense of community in this TER organization which is very worthwhile. It might seem strange to say this, but it's not totally unlike the sense of community that people can get from a church or synagogue: people with a shared interest and purpose, meeting and talking with one another.
Obviously, this hobby is no panacea. And it's no substitute for family, home, or work. And there are health risks (as I tried to outline in a recent post.) And it's expensive.
But it does add a nice dimension to life, one I'm very proud of.
I'm new to the hobby, but already feel quite empowered by it.
Happy New Year to you all.
From thinking about this subject (what this 'hobby' means to us) some more today:
Here's a major benefit to me. My wife of many decades has lost almost all interest in sex. I can't get her to seek medical or psychological attention for this: she just isn't interested. I don't want to have an affair with someone else, because I'd be afraid of getting involved, and I don't want to endanger our marriage (which is a great one, except for this one physical area). So: this hobby, pursued once or twice a month, is a great alternative, which literally saves our marriage.
Another advantage: much of society is hung up on outmoded moral standards about sex. Judaism and Christianity generally don't look at all kindly upon our hobby. (Interestingly, the Koran, the Muslim's holy book, has a neutral or non-condemning view.) It takes a certain amount of both intelligence and bravery to go against conventional moral notions. And if you're willing to take a well-thought-out, independent view yourself: it's hard to meet people with similar views.
But, this hobby, almost by definition, contains some independent-thinking people.
Sure, some people who practice it may feel guilty (though they really don't need to). But most practicioners (both providers and clients) probably don't feel too ashamed: they've thought out their own moral values and had the courage to act on them.
So, we meet some truly admirable people. And that's a real benefit.
I love this Hobby, but for me it is more than that.... it is what I do. I am a Provider and I love it. I have new and wonderful experiences everyday, but I also have those days where I can't handle my phone to ring one more time. I get to meet all different types of men (some women) that I probably would not other wise be acquainted with in my life. I offer Fantasy sessions so I get to experience these wild, nasty, passionate, ya know .... scream at the top of your lungs kind of encounters. I can be totally uninhibited because that is what they are expecting, so basically I can just be myself. I love introducing someone to a new experience and knowing that every time they relive it or think about it - I will be a part of that. That is pretty amazing.
I love talking with my clients on the phone and before/after sessions. It is like the Discovery Channel. I learn so much about different clutures, religions, careers, lifestyles, you name it. I have a very outgoing personality and I think that carries on through to my clients. They feel comfortable and they WANT to be there with ME. What an amazing feeling. I love the lifestyle and being uninhibited sexually. I am comfortable with my body and with others bodies. Sex is not just pleasurable but it is a form of expression that transends beyond words.
I should stop now... smooches, Sierra4U~
Just catching up on the discussion I started and was quite impressed with some responses I would not have expected. Nicole's and Sierra's answers come to mind first, WOW, so comfortable with yourself and truly enjoy expressing that freedom.
Anyway, I guess I should share the thoughts that were on my mind when starting on this topic. I started this hobby, very selfishly, expecting to have hot passionate times with lots of gorgeous women, and that I did. However, at the same time, I began to appreciate each one of them in different and unique ways. This has strengthend my relationships with family and friends, and brought out a whole new caring and compassionate side of me, that has not gone unnoticed. I'm much calmer and more content. I just recently began to understand those relationships for the first time in my life.
I have started to see that with each new person you open up your heart to, you take a little piece of that person with you. Then realize, that the other person, takes something from you that you have shared with them. Providers have a lot of love to share, and I thank them for being there at the times when we need them.
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies, and I would appreciate hearing any others that would like to contribute their thoughts and ideas.
best regards, mr.man