You say "feminist" like it was a bad word.  It might just surprise you to know that the most ardent feminists I know personally, (outside of militant dykes, that is,) are women involved in the sex trade.  It gives you a real overview of the whole situation, let's say, it almost becomes impossible not to see things in political terms.  I saw a documentary this past year, forget the name of it, but it was about the porn biz, and they were interviewing a model who was reflecting on the fact that there were so many college educated women in the field.  She said something along the lines of "we finally figured out what to do with the patriarchy - take their money!"

But feminism doesn't have to mean being "against" men.  I describe myself as a man-loving feminist - it may seem somewhat contradictory, but then life is contradictory, isn't it, and despite the fact men and women often seem to be at odds with each other, we can still get along, can't we?

As far as being an independent and what attitude that may imply, I think you may be right on that one.  Outside of self-employment in any field, I think I'm pretty much unemployable at this point in my life.  

-Anya

I just couldn't not respond.

I'm married going on 33 years to a great life partner.  We both have that Dr. appendage in front of our names and are both feminists in the old (late 60's) sense.  Our view of feminism is that women and men have the right to be treated equally as long as the circumstances permit it. No alteration of the standards  should have to be made to accommodate anyone, and conversly, no raising of the standards should be allowed to keep anyone out. Clearly a 5'-2" man of 135 lbs could not likely qualify for some jobs where a 6'-0" woman pf 175 lbs. might.  

I'm not a activist so I am not too in touch with todays feminist thought, but it seems that the original concept has been lost. I feel that over the years the "movement" has tried to eliminate the differences between the sexes.  Science has demonstrated that not only are there the obvious physical and bichemical differences, but there are psychological differences as well.  I believe, for example, that MOST hetersexual men are not as likely to possess the mothering/nurturing skills that MOST hereto women naturally have.  I think that it is a natural extension of the biologic roll of procreation.  Men and women are different in their heads. It's the hunter and nest builder thing.

My wife is very male in her thinking patterns when making decisions.  She is not mentally invested in jewelry and make up yet she is very pretty and has a great figure (at 52 I'd easily rate her above many 35y/o providers I've seen).  We truely have no dominant person in the household.  We are partners and that has, for the most part, worked out very well for us.

Sexually we are very different.  My ventures into the hobby have come from a desire to be around what I call a girly girl.  My ATF has those qualities.  She takes time to prepare herself and create the look she wants the world to see.  She enjoys being seen as a sexy woman and welcomes the attention from the male gender.  My wife does just the opposite: her grooming is neat and efficient and she really doesn't like public displays of sexuality.  I enjoy giving my ATF jewelry and such because she likes it and uses it.  My wife would rather have something practical such as a piece of furniture or art.  Neither right or wrong, just different.

I enjoy both for their differences.  Yet they are similar too, and I think that I must desire these traits.  Both are strong in their convictions, sure of themselves, comfortable with their chosen sexual presence, and have high IQ's.  I would say that both are feminists in the "old" sense in that neither want to see the differences between the genders erased.  It's just that one accentuates the sexuality and the other minimizes it.

One interesting point is that I think that they both had similar father types: emotionally detatched.  On the other hand, my wife's mother was not very nurturing and my ATF's mother was.

I chose to "enter this hobby" at age 63 because my wife has totally lost interest in sex. I still need it.
I find the excitement of meeting with a younger, beautiful woman stimulating and invigorating. Maybe it is just fantasy, but I feel it is what keeps me young!
I prefer a women somewhere between demure and agressive. A friendly attitude and indication that they enjoy what they do - giving pleasure and sensual contact.
The best thing is all women are different and I have been fortunate enough to find some of the sweetest in the business.

The Girl X post to which you refer did not stike me as being about "feminism" (however one wishes to define it) at all.  I think instead it was about nothing more than an elitist attitude.  After all, she put down virtually all the men & women on TER while telling us how marvelous she was.  Talk about tooting one's own horn!!

Independence - no such thing....

There is no such thing as independence. In any business, we the "small business owner" are dependent upon the consumer. I find it funny when women in this business, say "I don't need a man to take care of me." or "I'm independent. I take care of myself." No, you don't need 1 man, you need several...Let me tell you what...I'm doing whatever daddy tells me to do...well, almost...but let's talk...

In a sterling economy with droves of people throwing money this way and that, a lady might feel independent because she can be highly selective and turn down 1/2 the business and still do well. In a sluggish economy, she'll realize just how dependent she is on her regulars and she'll appreciate them that much more.

There is no room for arrogance in this business. I would be the first to say that sometimes fear can look like arrogance but all in all haughtiness is usually not effective. But again, even deer can look haughty at certain angles.

I would say there is a learning curve for both new hobbyists and new providers. During this time, the hobbyist might either be very very careful or take risks without knowing that he is taking any risks (like parking in a bad neighborhood or carrying too much money in his wallet when he doesn't know what he's walking into). During this time, new providers might get a false sense of security thinking that they are god's gift to men or being again, ultra careful or on the flip, blind to the risks of meeting people that you don't know from adam. It's like a kid going to college. At first he's shy on campus, then in a few months after getting he feet wet, he thinks he can stay up late, party on weeknights and cram to get by. In a few more months, he'll learn the hard way and regroup and finally become an "adult" rather than a duck, as I like to call it.

I would say some providers allow this profession to turn them into swans as they start to see the best in everyone and become as accepting as possible because people are unique creatures. Other providers might come to feel "These f****** want to get as much as possible for as little as possible. They stiff me, no show and then call me a blank during the session." This is the escort who has to start putting on a show because she now hates men and does not trust them for the rest of her life. She may even have an impossible time having a relationship in her personal life. Girl A, our swan would tell Girl B not to generalize. Girl B would tell Girl A, wise up.

Same goes for hobbyists. Hobbyist A will come to see each provider as a unique individual and each experience as a potential good time. Hobbyist B will start lowballing because he'll start to think women all want money and don't give a shit about him as a person. Hobbyist A would tell Hobbyist B, "Not all women are like that. Take ___ for instance..." But Hobbyist B, our cynic with the bad attitude, the blocked phone and the penchant for cursing at provider and bringing her two week old muffins, would tell Hobbyist A, that he's a sucker.

I have surpassed the learning curve, which I think lasts anywhere from 6 months to a year. In all honesty, I would say I'm a cross between Provider A and Provider B and I think our Girl X is too. I'm mostly A but I speak my mind. I do trust men but I don't trust all men. Felicia Foxx is a definite A or we could say a hard A, meaning she's nowhere near being B. Girl X and I are crossbreeds and this means that we don't want to put up with Hobbyist B so we try not to tap into his market. It's sort of a risk to be wounded, you know and there tend to be more B's in the 200-300 range. I would say there are only 20% of B's in the full line of 200-300 clientele. The rest are A's. But in the 400-500 per hour and up range, there are virtually no B's. Why is this? Well, if you are willing to pay $500 an hour and perhaps book 2 or 3 hours, you love women. You are glad to pay the money because you're turned on by doing it. There is something hot about getting someone self confident and entertainers in the 400 and up range, are definitely that. Now, are there bitches in the high end range, sure. But less of them. Why? Because when you are being paid a grand or more, you don't watch the clock at all. The guy is telling you by virtue of his decision to pay you more than other women charge, that he thinks you are the ultimate shit (that's a good term here). And when you feel that wanted, you are going to ___ all over the ___ and you may even ___ again.

I hope this helps. At the very least, Mathesar will be turned on by my analysis. So I wouldn't say that independence exists in this business. We know where are bread is buttered and the buttering is well appreciated.

HB

I like strong, indy women that are mild mannered and demure.
The women I seek must have different qualities than my wife or I will not return.

In answer to the following.


Questions for clients:
How do you feel about strong, independent women as providers?  
Do you prefer a strong, independent, self-assured provider or
one who's more mild-mannered and demure?  If you're married,
do providers act differently than your wife--and is that part
of what attracts you--a different personality than the one
you live with daily?