I am sure that this is Hobbiest 101:  Don't develop feelings for a provider.
Yet I am human and so are they.  It happened.  Has anyone else dealt with this and if so, what ended up happening?  Did a relationship ensue? Did she tell you to go 'pound sand'?
...just curious what others have experienced

Truth be told they simply hang upside down in the closet like bats until they are summoned for our pleasure.

The large mind boggles and the small mind quakes at the hard-hearted logic of love!

you"ll just end up frustrated and bitter and no one wins when that happens....spoken from experience

Help I've fallen for a provider and can't get up. Come visit us again in a few months and let us know how it turned out.  

1. Yes, feelings are natural
2. If you develop feelings, keep them in check
3. If you think she has feelings for you, ask her to have sex without money
4. If she has sex without money, ask if she has a boyfriend
5. If she doesn't have BF, figure out if you can handle being involved with a provider.
6. Don't ask her to give up her business
7. It's her or your wife. Choose.
8. If you marry her, make sure you decide who's going to do laundry and dishes.

Some work out, some don't.  That's the same as in real life.

In my case, I met a provider 9 years ago, and we got married last January.

She's now retired, and the story continues.

tripping over her pile of dirty clothes while leaving the incall

Now that's freakin' funny! :

Would be, if she was his sister.

Posted By: perfectstorm

Now that's freakin' funny!  
 

And I found out he was getting BBBJ's from other women...and said that he wouldn't do it. I bet he was BBFS'ing with civvie girls and providers. I met him off Backpage...which is NOT the place to be meeting your potential life partner!

I know that's not the typical route that jokes follows.

There are a few providers that I have been with who are amazing women in every respect, looks sexiness, attitude character etc., but the reality is that they are selling and I am buying a fantasy. Although I think they are wonderful people, when the session is over, it's over.

feelings are real and visceral and powerful and many of us let our feelings control us -

You see her when you want, you apparently have a good time together, and she makes a nice income. Don't make it complicated!

I did and she said great but that will be $1200. Cured all delusions.

she's perfectly happy hanging out OTC....

but I don't forget the dynamic of the relationship

Over the summer I feel for one of my clients, something happened in our session then I did the unpredictable thing of texting him saying I think I could see myself dating him and it blew up a new rabbit whole.  So we gave it a shot for about a month.  

Ask her out as you would any other women and you shall have your answer.  

Word on the sunny side is we're on the beach already! So, wtf, we blew it already! Have a ball! Fall in love with all of them! Over and over and over! It'll make the remainder of your miserable life a tad more exciting! And it leaves only a tiny carbon footprint!

YOU have to be prepared to have feelings for ALL of her and vice versa.  Not just the lady that looks and is at her very best when you are with her. ALL of her. and her ALL of you, not just the person she is with for a certain amount of time.

Chris Rock said it best (and he was talking about civvie relationship but IMO it applies here since it sounds like you may want more:

"Right now, you're not meeting HER, you're meeting her representative!" I'd say 80% of the time, you think you're in love with her or even in HEAVY like, your feelings may change because you are in love with an image of her. That's infatuation.

More try it than will ever admit it here. And IMO the peeps on the GDB only represent a small percentage of the people in this private world we're in here.

Usually what happens is a guy has strong feelings and then it starts to really bug him that this is how she pays her bills. It doesn't even matter if she shares your feelings and let's you know that. The guys starts resenting that she's 'working" this way. guy wants her to stop, like immediately. The gal isn't ready, has bills to pay, keeps trying to reassure the guy that her feelings for him are genuine, the rest is just"work". Jealously rears it ugly head, arguments happen, things get said...

Are there exceptions to this? YES.Is it hard? YES! Does it usually work out in the long run, NO. But I know peeps who met this way and got married and still are.

And despite the guys here that are saying she'll take you for a ride, blah blah blah, it's very hard for the lady to have feelings and go do her thing here. Read this again: IT'S HARD WORK to not let what she's doing affect you.

Some of the successful relations also are with couple who swing. These guys seem to understand and are able to separate the whole working thing better IMO.

The WORST for the working ladies is to have some guy make them feel less for doing this and try to make them feel guilty about it. it SUX!

Did I mention it's HARD?

Steph



-- Modified on 5/30/2014 5:12:22 PM

Why with all the sex you get paid for, with a BF in RL that should be easily achievable for you, would you want to pay a guy to fuck you?

The Provider I'm seeing is so Sweet and Adorable. I've pretty much Fallen for her. She tells me alot about her Family Life, good and bad. And I've told her about mine. We've been hanging out with each other OTC (off the clock). I spent time with her on her Birthday. And when it was my Birthday we spent the whole day together. I hope it doesn't end. I've been seeing her for over a year.

as well as a great counselor.

Steph:  You know how much I love the slippery slope.  (Or is that the slip and slide? 8o)

It happens and how it goes will depend on the people. I fell in love with a lady. Turns out she fell for me - sort of love at first sight. It was complicated and very hard for a long time. She quit providing, I quit hobbying - had a great time until life eventually got in the way, not related to p4p, we split but stay in touch and have a dear friend for life.

I knew a woman who lived with a cop, planned on maybe marriage, but after a few months of sharing in his lifestyle and the occupational hazards of his career, she had to call it quits. It happens in a lot of professions. The sex industry in spades.

It's very simple...Try having a relationship with your client vs your boss.

Either Girl is going to require Money. Civvie Girls are no different than a Provider except for their line of Work. Civvie Girls may not charge you directly for Sex as a Provider does. But you still wind up paying for Sex with a Civvie Girl in some form.

The civvie girls you spend money on are usually shared experiences like dinner, dates, etc., maybe occasionally gifts, but never cash.  At least until you near the live-in/marriage stage.  And I may be a cheap date, but I don't spend $300 - $400 per hour on a civvie date.  I paid a provider just shy of $1k lately for three hours, and three civvie dates (enough to get her to bed, average) would be maybe 1/3 of that unless you were getting fancy.  I live in small town NC, not in a big city, so dates are less expensive.

but eventually, in most cases anyways, there is a balloon payment that comes due way down the road; and when it does, you'll know it and how.

Been there, done that.

with a gent I'm having a dinner date with next week! you may get a PM 'cause I told him to ask you how many times you've seen me with brightly colored ROLLERS in my hair-LMAO!!!

I told him the correct answer is EVERY damn time we've seen each other!

And no slip & slide that could be construed as a camel slide! 8O)

Steph xoxo

a change of pace around here and entertaining!