So I'm reading more about evolutionary theory today, with all its emphasis on winners and losers, and strategies and motivations, and I'm in that frame of mind, when suddenly a thought leaps fully born out of my mind, like Athena from the frickin' brow of Zeus.

I decide to call it the Provider Paradox.  Here it is.

The Provider Paradox:  The best and highest paid providers are those women who would still have promiscuous sex for free even if they were not providers.

It is a paradox because they are the ones who are "sacrificing" the least to do this work, because they would do it anyway.  They have simply realized that they can get money for it, and have intelligently decided to take advantage of this fact.  In a sense, they "deserve" to get paid the least, since they are sacrificing the least.  But it is largely because they enjoy the work that they are sought after by clients.

Those women who do not enjoy the work are those who "sacrifice" the most to do it.  In a sense, they "deserve" to be paid the most; yet they are paid the least.  Their dislike of the work makes them less sought after by clients.

Of course, financial success in the business has nothing to do with "deservingness" (nor should it), but everything to do with the woman's desirability, which hinges largely on her enjoyment of the work.

The moral of all this:  Women who enjoy the work are double-winners - they get both enjoyment and money.  Women who do not enjoy the work (you know who you are) are double-losers - they get neither enjoyment nor money, and should probably quit the business.

Actually not much of a paradox, just common sense.  Let's hear it for the double-winners!  They make it fun.

I've been with a couple of providers who just love to have sex.  These folks got wet quick, would go forever, and really didn't want things to end.

Others were a good time, kind of had a scripted session, I enjoyed myself, but you could tell that if the $$ weren't there they wouldn't be either.  

Double winners are truly a treat.

I like it. Although I am not sure about the wording of your premise. It seems to imply that these ladies are nymphomaniacs. From the rest of the post you show that you mean that these ladies enjoy sex and bring that attitude to their job.

May need a rewrite, although I can't think of a better way of rewording it.

I know I have paid money for women that had I met in a bar, I would even THINK about taking home.

Rocket

you assume that because a provider enjoys sex, she will enjoy sex with clients which can be an entirely different proposition.

Remember the discussion regarding whether providers have orgasms with clients?  Not so encouraging.  There were also a number of hobbyists who didn't appear to care whether the provider enjoyed herself or not.

I love what I do as a profession, I couldn't do it as a hobby (need a license) but I don't think I would do all parts of it for free.

One thing I've learned about evolutionary biology is to beware of glib analogies.  I first learned it from reading essays by, you guessed it, Stephen J. Gould.  Evolutionary "success" depends on producing more surviving offspring than "rivals" (if this doesn't get too long I'll explain the quotation marks later).  Doesn't have much to do with this topic, does it?

OK, we can still play with evolution as a METAPHOR for things that go on in the hobby.  On that level, there's no paradox.  Women who are more suited by temperament, libido, or whatever to being providers are more successful at it.  Nothing paradoxical about that.

Ah, but wait, things are a bit more complicated than you make them. Accident, self-fulfilling prophecy, and feedback loops all have a role here.  I'll use moderately large numbers because it's the statistics that matter.  

Let's imagine 200 women just starting out as providers.  Better to think of them as geographically scattered than as 2 platoons facing off.  Half of them, for whatever reason, get a good trade with nice clients right off the mark.  The other half, also for no identifiable reason, have slow business and some real jerks showing up.  I think it's obvious which group, ON AVERAGE, will feel better about being in this business.  This could start feedback loops (one positive, one negative) whose result is your premise, i.e. your starting point.

Of course in real life both mechanisms operate and influence each other, along with many more.  The point is that simple "common sense" analysis rarely works with complex systems.

Sorry about the length.

this is the right way to look at it (even with no geographic isolation, a la the "Galapagos Islands"

it's called the science of "Complex Systems" where feedback and local interaction are key

see http://www.complex-systems.com

This is just an opinion, of course. I have to believe all escorts who make it past the first few months enjoy sex to a high degree. Its a matter of with whom...some with lots of different men, some with very few. YMMV is so true. The financial success also comes from good marketing, screening, and attitude in order to develop a strong list of regulars or repeat clients, and those are the ones where there is "chemistry". Here, its not just work. Clients don't return unless they too feel that connection through great sex, great companionship, etc. Otherwise, its a one-time deal where the more convincing the "acting", the better the resulting review. This I see as real work. The goal here is money and advertising, which leads to more potential regular clients. The only paradox I see is...if an escort is too good an actress, she will have too many returning clients with whom she doesn't enjoy sex with. Less enjoyment I imagine can make it difficult to get out of bed every day, or should I say into bed. Of course, her clients will eventually see that the "relationship" isn't real.

Thus, financial success comes from not only the ability to please clients because one enjoys sex but also the ability to understand how to maintain a steady flow of income by carefully selecting clients who can develop into regulars. In short, women who use both their head and their heat are the most financially successful. As far as evolution goes, sexual enjoyment will take one to the next level but develop of the cerebral cortex is what is needed to continue further up the evolutionary tree. Now, what about survival of the fittest.

I think the real paradox here is one of roles:  who is the provider and who is the hobbyist?    The most interesting encounters I have had left me wondering.

The Third Man

Let's suppose that those who are paid the most "sacrifice" the least, that is, in economic terms it costs them the least to provide.

By analogy, suppose you are able to produce very good widgets for $50 each, and you've found the market will pay $75 apiece.  I, however, being very clever, am able to produce excellent widgets -- demonstrably better than yours -- for $25.  The market will pay me $100 for my widgets (we're ignoring elasticities of demand here -- let's suppose the market will bear those prices for all the widgets you and I can make).

So your widgets generate producer surplus of $25, and mine generate producer surplus of $75.  The $75 is mine, and the fact that your costs are higher is your problem.

The happy provider should get paid market for what she provides.  What it costs her just factors in her decision whether, and how much, to provide.

Do you currently think of ourself as a hobbyist or a provider?  A simple distinction between the roles is that the hobbyist is that $$$ gifts flow from the hobbyist to the provider.  However, think of it more deeply.

There are women who work as providers and do that do what they do because they like it.   Biy "it" I meen what flows between people in an encounte (I'm not talking fluids).  Gifts finance their life and their opportunity to pursue what they like.   You meet them occasionally.  They are hobbyists in a very real sense just as you are a provider when you encounter them..

When you meet them, it's very special since you are going to have the ultimate GFE/PSE -- they are into it as much as you are.

Is that a better explaination of what I meen?  Do you agree?  Do ladies have any comments?

The Third Man

"I dislike the word "hobbyist" ... Frankly, it is a term that does not do the encounters justice. It trivializes the encounters to a more impersonal note ... It sounds too juvenile ... even demeaning. Am I romanticizing the encounters? No, not really. Its simply a matter of deep appreciation for the human spirit. Not trivializing who and what we are with terms like "hobby" or GFE or PSE."  -- NOSC




i'm smiling because only a woman would say such a thing. and then only a woman endowed with what's called emotional IQ or "EQ"  

when God was dishing out "EQ"  Adam must've been taking a whizz behind the apple tree (or working in his tool shed), cuz Eve walked away with the lion's share of it

i don't think i speak for ALL men, but perhaps for most of them, when i say that at some level we MUST trivialize these things (to equate them with collecting baseball cards, etc) in order to keep our ill-equipped and meager "EQ" from running rampant, as a woman's often does, but with women it's mostly with good cause and then it usually concludes (or climaxes!) with a positive catharsis of sorts -- a "good cry" if you will

in some sense, it's just safer (if not easier) for SOME men to refer to the "hot chicks" they've "bagged" or "nailed" as if they were collector's items (hunting trophies, job accolades, new car parts, etc) than to have to confront and deal with providers as a human beings (emotional ones at that!) or just as individuals who have their own needs/desires/thoughts/dreams/etc


oh look! ... it's way past my bedtime. i must be rambling on ... i bet i stopped making sense 2 paragraphs ago!

Nicole,

I am recent to the hobby and these posts and did not realize you were a lady.  Let me apologize if you found any offense in these remarks.  I think we are both talking about similar things.  

I am drawn to GFE oriented providers because of my nature and circumstances.  Reading and understanding what some of the reviews were saying made it simpler to find ladies who "did it well":  they attracted intellegent men and the men had interesting experiences filled with intimacy and feeling.

After I was able to meet some of these ladies, I understood that they also found special things in the experiences they had with me.  I craved a connection on many levels, so did they.  It was and is very special.

Please email if you ever come to the Boston area (retired or not).  

Thanks for giving me a chance to apologize for any offense and thanks for sharing your thoughts.

The Third Man