Sometimes the pressure in the marriage has risen to such intensity that one or both members feels like something has to blow. Neither one of them wants to look bad by saying they want out, simply because they are unhappy because of x,y, or z. An unconscious remedy is getting caught being unfaithful. The solution is obvious to both, divorce. The man feels like the decision is taken out of his hands, and the woman feels justified in getting away from someone, she believes is making her so miserable. Often the wife can help set up this dynamic, as she becomes more and more unhappy, she becomes less and less available. Of course, this isn't the case all the time. However, when it is, hopelessness, regarding finding a constructive remedy, on the part of both people, is the real culprit. That's were couples counseling can be helpful; in providing ways to interact that reduce the hopelessness that each person feels regarding their relationship.
I cannot believe this!
Seems like, every week, I have an enraged wife after me.
It amazes me how smart and successful men, keeps mails and other "souvenirs", which are incriminating evidence of their escapades.
I used to visit couple VERY profitable areas and I had to take them out of my tour guide, because I had their SOs on my trail.
Now, I have to dump another profitable tour stop because of a client who kept ALL the mails we exchanged during the past two years.
How stupid is that? Many times, he told me his wife didn't know anything about computers.
Right! The stuff she wrote to me in many mails I received this week shows a smart and computer savvy woman, not the meek "stay at home" mom he thinks she is.
Why men keep souvenirs of their sexual encounters?
I understand a single guy doing it, but a married guy with LOTS to lose?
She told me her lawyer has all the mails (which can be a bluff) and that she is taking action against a "cheating bastard" (her words, not mine).
I know my client is traveling overseas, so I feel sorry for him and what kind of reception his wife will give to him next week.
I didn't reply to her mails, or answered her blocked calls (I know is her) and, I am NOT contacting him either because she told me she would find out if I try to warn him.
GRRRRRRRRRRRR you guys need to be more careful...not only you get your life messed up, you also create TONS of problems for us too.
My rant of the week!!!
BDG
I have a seperate, pre-paid phone (that never goes home), a different e-mail (that is emptied regularly) and I stay as far away from the hobby when home as possible. Maybe you should give a sort-of I.Q. test when screening clients (lol).
-- Modified on 1/12/2008 8:29:50 AM
I too have a separate prepaid phone that is never kept at home for other eyes to find. Also, a totally separate e-mail address that I only access when alone.
A suggestion for a lady who does receive e-mail similar to BDG, use the "block sender" option or some other screening option on your e-mail account.
...either has a getting caught fetish or a real dumbass... If the SO has access to his e-mail then having sending threats or just doing recon on his trysts will not help him. I am with BDG, WTF?
What can I say? I realize wives will never get this, but they shouldn't blame the provider who is only for hire, usually having no special desire to see him personally. But wives will be wives.
After this has happened this often, you might put a "security" lesson somewhere on your site. Make it so prospective clients must read it before they are screened.
that are explicit!!
My "best" clients send e-mails with graphic content and then get in a huff over the admonishment they receive.
The longer they know me the sloppier they get.
Please guys just because the lady ENJOYS your company does not mean you can be so casual.
Maybe it is unprofessional to climax with a client.
I thought they would prefer a nymph but apparently it causes them to take girls for granted
yes? not really?
What is up with that?
I had the idea before that graphic content was welcomed-- at least in the aftermath of a session, and at least the next session was open to suggestions about what you want.
There is one provider, very well regarded lady in my area, who after you filled out the form, asked you to tell her what your favorite fantasy was.
Many providers you know have Yahoo sites, where graphic conversations are encouraged.
I also saw a website where the provider went into explicit detail about what was offered in a session, including acronyms like BBBJTCIM, Mish with a cover, Russian . . . It was all there.
I always thought you don't go into detail before the first session, but I've been confused about the standards between subsequent sessions. I've had to play it by ear.
A suggestion: You might have a standard email you send to clients after a session thanking them but reminding them not to write in casual, explicit detail.
They must watch it before filling out the form.
I will probably do it.
The problem is --- most guys, do NOT like to take advice from women!
Is like asking for directions when they are lost.
lol
BDG
Experiment with different formats for this.
...and sometimes these guys really almost want to get caught. As crazy as it sounds they are looking for a way out of the marriage and, though this is probably not the smartest approach, getting caught certainly qualifies!
As far as blaming the provider, I think it's more a case of lashing out at all involved parties. The fact that the wife in question here is taking action against the spouse reflects this.
Sometimes the pressure in the marriage has risen to such intensity that one or both members feels like something has to blow. Neither one of them wants to look bad by saying they want out, simply because they are unhappy because of x,y, or z. An unconscious remedy is getting caught being unfaithful. The solution is obvious to both, divorce. The man feels like the decision is taken out of his hands, and the woman feels justified in getting away from someone, she believes is making her so miserable. Often the wife can help set up this dynamic, as she becomes more and more unhappy, she becomes less and less available. Of course, this isn't the case all the time. However, when it is, hopelessness, regarding finding a constructive remedy, on the part of both people, is the real culprit. That's were couples counseling can be helpful; in providing ways to interact that reduce the hopelessness that each person feels regarding their relationship.
YUP
Simple spyware can be installed on any PC that records every keystroke, emails, deleted emails and cookies, all of it. Its $89 and my former spouse tried to nail me (for some pretty innocous stuff) with it
Also, wives (and all women) arent that dumb
The Urbandictionary.com will spell every acronym you have hear of and probably dozens you havent
But I do not think it is a providers place to warn or tutor clients at all. Its his marriage (and maybe costly divorce) and his decisions
well that, and the fact that no one ever said "yes".
Yeah I had the same sort of thing this week. Guy used his SHARED email account with his wife to send me email. Come on now....seriously.
Has any guy listed his wife as a reference yet?
8o)