Reading the reviews is as entertaining as informative.  Do you have a favorite expression or phrase? Here are some of mine in no particular order:

Treat her nice.

Funny thread.  I like..
Baby damage
MSOG
the first cup

Yes! As if we wouldn't? Or a tacit admission that men are terrible and treat women poorly? lol

Honorable mention:
She got me dangerously close

I don't really have a repertoire of "go-to" phrases, however I could have used the "slipped on the hat" while exiting the bathroom of a popular woman one time.

I think they're all pretty stupid and try not to use any of them. They all get really old after a while.

THAT is the one that is most absurd.  

Must've been a C-org. 😂

but it was my favorite:

She had 3 O's soaking wet during DATY. The main event comes she then puts on a hat and lube.

Not from Reviews, but isn't there an old expression,

I like "aftermarket upgrades" even though it sounds like special rims on a customized car.  

Agreed. I even made a post in kgirl forum showing how useless and anti-monger euphemisms really are... as they serve no purpose other than obfuscate info for fellow mongers and make worse experiences appear better via sugar-coating.

...YMMV
"...I'm a Magnum guy, so..."
"baby batter"

Goes with the spinners (wheels that is )

(for the 34th time in the guy’s reviews).

I used to read a lot of tuner car magazines (I had a Honda S2000 for a while) where they would interview sexy car show models. To ask the girls if they had had breast implants, they would say "original equipment of aftermarket modified?", out of the blue, without explaining anything more.  You could hear the pause while you read the article, while the girl worked out what this meant.  You could also see her smile when the meaning of the question dawned on her.  Then she'd say, "no, they came standard" or "this was a custom job" or some other car joke.  If cars were not a metaphor for girls there would be no rock and roll.

My ATF retired 7 years ago, but she is still my ATF.  

Would be interesting to know how many "cups" guys need to "empty" in an actual cup for the competition.

"It was all a blur".

aka ' Hot Dogging'.  

As in:
-Raw dogging (bb)
-I fucked her raw
-She took it raw

"Raw, raw, raw, that's the spirit!" - Principal Poop, Morse Science High
Firesign Theatre, "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers.

Dude! LMAO!! 😂

These always make me giggle:

But you have great taste. They were great.

"Loving you has made me bananas."  

To spot a fake review written by a woman: "yummy."

Best BJ I have ever had

Plowing pussy

"Fun bags"

They all get old after a while,  euphemisms or not.  

titty-fucking is called "Russian.  The women of those respective countries have the larger butts and boobs which are conducive for a man to jerk himself off.

Bitch the pot
Sauce-box
Tight as a boiled owl
Cupid's kettle drums