This is sort of unusual for this forum, but I really don't know who to ask.

I don't think you should enter into a marriage based on lies and deception. (That can come later! Just kidding!)  

If you read at all, check out this book called "The Ethical Slut".  Highly recommended.  It's also available in an e-version for your phone if you don't feel comfortable holding onto a paper copy.

Consider the "lifestyle". You could look out for the next reality TV show or documentary on swinging, and "happen" to turn it on while you're both watching TV. Or find an article about it online (maybe you happened across it while reading some articles on GQ's website: http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/gq-sex-and-relationships-paris-libertines-swinging ), and ask her what she thinks. Don't push, just listen, and gauge how she feels about it. She will most likely be horrified at first. But don't say anything more about it for a while. Later in the relationship- another couple of months, "happen" across something else along those lines. Maybe ask her how she feels about male strippers (did she see Magic Mike? etc.). Ask if she'd ever thought of that before. Gauge her feelings about it again. If she's so horrified that you'd even brought it up, then don't do it again. Either suck it up and resign yourself to that one woman, have a talk with her about your reservations (I wouldn't mention her looseness), or break it off and go separate ways. Or decide to live a dishonest life, lying to both her and yourself.  

That would be a tough call. But better now than later after marriage. Like the two above advised. Be truthful and gauge her reactions to explore other options. Maybe catch her at a good time and say "how do you feel about so and so...or for example , what if or have you wondered or do you have a fantasy or what would you do if you can act out your fantasy.." Something along that line. To see her perspective or moral standing on things?  Not sure if confessing about past things are necessary. Have a good fresh start and if she had a fantasy , maybe you can share yours too? Menage a Trois?

I wouldn't have any guilt over your situation. If you love your girl, but the sex just ain't that great ... then rejoice and take solace in hobbying. It will allow you to be with your gf and really enjoy her company ... without the whole "bad sex" thing becoming a deal-breaker or a hindrance to your relationship.

Especially if you can't enjoy sex with her.

Tough break people expect to get everything they need from one person though.

And it's not really feasible. No matter how much you love someone they won't necessarily be able to fulfil every one of your needs. I was married once. I loved him very much and fancied him like crazy too, but it didn't interfere with my desire to carry on with my secret life as a provider. I sometimes even had better sex with clients than with my husband but it was strictly physical release. It didn't mean I loved being with my husband any less. That was LOVE and sex is sex. I am able,to separate the two things so I don't see why you can't? No one else's rules need to apply to you. You have one life and you have to live by your own rules and morality. I felt no guilt though other people would have believed I was totally terrible.
In every other way I was a great wife )

...tighter even Kegels though don't actually tighten the vagina.  Vaginal cones AKA "pussy weightlifting" works on the same principle - tightens the pelvic muscles (used to stop incontinence).

Have you ever given up anything that you loved, like a favorite food that you realize is bad for your long term health? For me, I have to mentally make that food distasteful, so even though I know I really enjoyed it in the past, I'll be physically repulsed by it. Then I really get creative with the new lifestyle. In your situation, I would suggest thinking about all those distasteful, worrisome aspects of mongering, and feel relieved that you don't have to deal with them anymore. Then get creative sexually with your girlfriend, try new things out, by her outfits, have sex in new places, fantasize about her in the ways you do when you see an ad for a new provider or a great review.

There are two other orifices to consider plus hands, feet, underarms and then loads of interesting fetishes to explore.

bigguy30. No kidding.  What a dope.  Anyway, nice to see you on the board.

-- Modified on 3/21/2016 7:39:05 AM

Left unresolved, sex with your lady will not get better after getting married and you'll eventually stray and join the legions of spouses tortured over living a double life. Bad sex leads to resentment, resentment leads to contempt, and contempt will kill any relationship in the worst possible. way.  

kudos to you for holding out so far ...not many can, many would take an easy route and book a provider right away without giving it too much thought ....

Recently I did some checking on sex positions for small guys. I was surprised to find a lot of them have the woman with her legs almost closed rather than wide open. I suppose it gives her more friction on the vaginal walls, but it also gives you a tighter pussy.

1. Dump her. Many marriages fail bc of bad or no sex so get out now.

Don't even waist you time worrying about the mongering now but get on the same page about the sex and what''s there and isn't there. That discussion will tell you what the next steps are.

I was thinking more BJs, lol!

Good head goes a LONG way towards sexual satisfaction!

You received a lot of great comments and advice here. Pick one. But I think you are OK, you just have this little problem of being twisted up about this marriage thing. So here'e what ya do: Whenever the idea of marriage comes to mind, no matter if you thought of it or someone brought it up, go in the bathroom put your head on the edge of the commode reach up grab the seat and slam it down on your head over and over until exhaustion or unconsciousness. EVERY time the idea comes up. There ya go.

Yes you could try to bring up swinging,polyamory and such depending on how open minded she is.....may not be the best idea to ruzh into geyying marriex either...but in all honesty a lot of people don't go for that and that's why we providers are here....we save marriges baby! Lol just sayin....

It's one thing to eventually have the sex part of your marriage go downhill and have to face the choice of either getting out of the marriage or "resigning" yourself to the only two other choices which are to do with out or become a cheater. It's quite another to go into a marriage knowing damn well you and your future wife are not compatible sexually.

Don't answer that!

My only quibble would be that if the OP is very much in love with the lady and feels compatible in all other ways, it might be worth having a serious discussion about sexual compatibility without bringing up escorts and without assigning blame to either party. Maybe involve a sex therapist. There might be a solution involving different techniques or activities. But boy oh boy, to commit to a life time relationship knowing ahead of time that you have a secret this big and this threatening to a relationship sounds like a terrible idea.

A couple additional pieces of info could be useful-I will just throw it out there-hope not to offend -

Thanks for taking the time to offer such a heartfelt response. You have gone way beyond what this board usually offers. You really help him sort this out. Much good information for all of us guys. All I can say is WOW what a response.

I have had 4 kids and I am tighter than tight!
I have always worked out and have been athletic
I coached 4 sports for 20 years, played football  and officiated sports
I work out Iike few women or men my age
I'm talking about hard core work
Boot Camp
Planks elevator planks pulsing planks squats jump squats hundreds of crunches six inches leg ups mountain climbers walking lunges push ups bear crawls suicides sprints and more non stop for an hour
I do this 3 days a week
I believe that this work out keeps my pussy tight
Work out with the girl you love for 6 months and see if it tightens up her pussy
I hope so
I love working out and I hope you do too

-- Modified on 3/21/2016 4:48:19 PM

I'm impressed! You sound like a lady that shouldn't be missed! Keep up the good work!

are you really posting this on all the forums you know?  I hope you disguised the facts because she could stumble onto it, or someone would do it for her, and she'd realize what a self-centered ass you are by hiding that you don't even like to fuck her? Forget about yourself a minute. Give her a chance to find a decent guy instead of wasting a few years until she divorces you after finding herself in a miserable relationship based on lies.

that makes me not want to meet  
you more than a already do. PM to follow

and willingly reciprocate in kind ...  
Is there anything better? Not when  
your getting a great BBBJ. 🙏 ...lol

it was tongue-in-cheek for "It's never going to work the way it is currently". And I never for one second imagined that would be a realistic option. Indeed, neither person deserves to be stuck in a marriage where neither is truly happy.