I am 45 and struggle with ED. It's become so bad now that unless a provider is able to do LOTS of hand and oral stimulation combined with DFK, then I simply can not get hard enough for penetration. HJ finish has happened in two of my last 4 sessions.

Abstaining relates to ED. You dont seem the age where you'd be addicted to porn or anything. I don't have numbers but I feel generally people without ed can have sex at least every other day without loss of quality of erection. Up to a certain age. Masturbaring once a couple of days before might make your semen count low and have less sensitivity and take longer to cum, but I don't think it causes ED

It may sound like bro science but there were apparently studies done on this. Check out “More Plates More Dates” on YouTube on the topic of fapping. The studies found that testosterone will reach its height after 7 days of abstaining with a drop on the 8th day and continuing to drop until it normalizes. This, of course, influences libido, performance, and other hormone related functions.

I am about 5'8 and 165-170 lbs.. My regular blood pressure is between 125-80 and sugar around 95 (fasting)  If I don't masturbate for a week or so, I will start developing pain in my scrotum area. At 10 days I won't be able to walk without feeling the pain.. I have gone 10 days without a release just to see how bad it is, and it's pretty bad..

I would say anything longer than 3 days is going to be diminishing returns -- unless you watch a lot of porn, that is mental and not physical.  You def need to try some ED meds to see if that will help.  They aren't popular for nothing.  

Do you think it’s performance anxiety or physical?  Either way, a small does of an ED med should certainly help.  Abstaining for any longer than 3 days should have, as others have mentioned, diminishing returns on the impact.  The other supplement I’d recommend is L-arginine.  It’s just an amino acid that you need anyway.

Interesting data point. Don't think I've felt any pain from not masturbating after many days..  

I think it's more physical than performance anxiety . The reason being when I was in my 30s I had a lot of anxiety and nervousness seeing providers. But somehow I managed rock hard erections most of the time ( I did have some no pop sessions in my 30s but it was rare ). Now at 45 I am a lot more relaxed, but only manage rock hard erections in maybe one in four visits.

I will look into these videos. If I understand correctly abstaining more than 7 days could actually lower testosterone? Or is it just diminishing returns after 7 days?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news.... But no.. not everyone watches porn..  It's been yrs since I watched porn.. I quite honestly, didn't even watch it during pandemic, when sites like Pornhub clocked record breaking traffic.  Personally for me, watching porn is as boring as watching golf. I just don't consider either of it a spectator sport.  

I suppose by your standards, I definitely do have porn addiction. I love it . Love the visuals, the fantasy, the privacy etc. If porn addiction is the root cause of my ED, then I'll live with ED. Not going to give up porn long term. At most a week or so of abstinence is ok.

This is likely more mental than physical. If you can get hard while watching porn, etc and/or still have an erection at night or when you wake up, it’s definitely mental i.e performance anxiety. You’re right around the age where your prostate can begin getting enlarged - which can ad to erectile issues as it did with me. The blue pill plus not overthinking the whole thing got rid of my ED. Abstaining for longer than two days doesn’t do anything for me; in fact when I take off too long from sex, it takes a few frequent sessions days apart for my libido to get back into full gear aka ‘use it or loose’. The human body is very adaptable. If you train your body to think it’s going to have frequent sexual encounters, it will get itself up to speed just like your muscles do with a gym routine.

I do often. If it feels good when your with provider why does it matter if you cum, or not? If the goal is to cum don’t jerk off.

The conversation here on this thread pertains to those who have penises.  That's where, typically, ED comes into picture..

I'm mid 40s and have always been one pop since college, but I can last 2-3 hours.  Due to this I have to book two hours and try to finish before the time is up.  I don't cum for at least three full days, but I try for five days for the best experience.  I've even used sleeping pills at night to help me doze off.  Better yet, just talk to your doctor.  Most of the time doctors don't have any issue giving Viagra.  

So as not to offend sensitive little types like Curly, it sounds like he gets easily confused.

Try masterbating and edging yourself an hour or two before your session.  

How does that help?

I am the Matriarch who has only birthed boys. I have older brothers. My Father was my best friend. In my everyday life I am a caregiver to a 72 year old man. I know a lot about penises & masturbation. Inquiring minds want to know, do you have a life outside of being a troll on this board?

If I jerk off, it gets me thinking about sex more than I usually do, and I am more prone to want it again soon. I can get hard again in about 10-20 minutes if I even get completely soft and come again within an hour or two although I tend to enjoy the afterglow from sex with a real lady instead of my hand. However, for me, coming is not the goal (as QueenBia suggests), intimacy is. Mutual oral and mutual masturbation give me as much pleasure PiV sex, even more if the oral is uncovered and the PiV sex is covered.  

Try 2 weeks of not watching porn and masturbating before seeing your sex encounter with a provider. And maybe adding some exercise and better eating habits can help with performance

Perhaps that could work. Presently I refrain from any porn during the week until my session. So perhaps indulging a little may keep junior excited for the main event? Or maybe it will just use  up my precious mojo...

I can try that next time as certainly 1 week is not working like it used to when I was in my 30s..

Always fun to pick on the ladies who can take it... LOL.. I like it when the ladies can dish one out too..  

I miss Mya. She's always good for a laugh. Haven't seen her in the Boards for a while. Hope she's ok.

Any Man that has an ED problem should first see his doctor and get a prescription for the Blue Pill. Also, If any man is stressed out about anything (That could be the reason).

I am going to make a slightly different suggestion.  Keep masturbating (maybe less frequently) but do it the "old fashioned way" - that is, don't watch porn and just use your imagination.  For the last 10+ years I had watched porn every time I masturbated and I found that I was getting dependent on that visual stimulation.  I didn't have a problem getting an erection with a provider but I did have a problem coming to orgasm.  For me, laying off the porn for a while got me to focus more on the physical stimulation which helped me cum in a real situation.  Just a thought.

If not, is there a reason why?  
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If you're simply too embarrassed to speak to your doctor, there's an easy solution these days.  There are lots of online companies, like ForHims, that will prescribe the pill for you after a 10-minute video chat.  They are legit, US-based companies, so you're not doing anything illegal or gambling by sending your money to an overseas company.  They use the generic version of viagra and cialis, so their pills are relatively cheap.  
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You can also customize the number of pills you get -- if you think you'll be having sex four times per month, you can get a subscription for four pills per month...  but if you think you'll be having sex six times per month, then you can get a subscription for six pills per month...  and so on.

You eat, sleep, and exercise well which means you should have no problem getting an erection.

I'm 60. Maybe if I want to be sure of a big load in her mouth I abstain for two full days.
Five years ago it was 36 hours.
The above stats are only in reference to cum volume and exit velocity, not ability to get it up. If you're in your 40s and can't get a woody three days in a row with a hot woman, see a doctor. Internist, urologist, psychiatrist; whatever it takes.

of weightlifting experience that if I have a bad workout, the solution is not to work out LESS often.  This approach to sex  sounds unbelievably counter-intuitive to me.  Since I'm single and will be 64 soon, I don't always have access to a real-life girlfriend, so one of the benefits of P4P participation is that I don't have to resort to jerking off if I'm horny.  I generally schedule 3 sessions a week, and that seems to be the right amount at my age.  However, if I wake up in the morning and feel the pressure to release building, I simply book an extra session for that afternoon.  Trying to decide whether to rub one out or not once you are over 20 seems a little obsessive.  Just listen to your body.  If you're horny, book a session, if not, let it ride a day or two or until your next regular session day.  Not training your body to produce semen on a regular basis seems the same to me as not training my muscles to be ready to lift a large weight the next time I need to.  it's a slippery slope that only points downward.