Nature was pushing me to get attached when I was young.
But they kept rejecting me.
I found providers. It was/it is understood that it's "superficial" and no attachments required.
It made sense, I liked it and accepted it. Now I don't even know what getting attached means and I'm not interested in that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke7vp_6xOME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfeVI29oHp4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4iqcRHXMpE
How do some of you keep this stuff superficial and not get attached?
a wallet with legs.
A wallet with fish-breath.
I just fuck a bunch of different women, It's much easier to keep from getting attached when you are always looking forward to the next woman you are going to fuck instead of backwards at the last woman that you fucked. I will sometimes be thinking about the next woman WHILE fucking the current one. lol
the fastest way to get over a woman is ............... get over another 
keep it superficial?? ... ask the girl out for an expensive dinner with no donation for the time outside the bedroom.. .. she her response.
It's getting unattached that can be tough.
Like someone said, see a plethora of gals.
I'm good at finding the ladies who like to be real life friends with their exceptional clients. As for not getting too attached, I always have 3 or 4 girlfriends in rotation, so I'm not getting overly attached to 1 woman. The boundaries get blurred with me, but never crossed.
shit's gettin' a little blurry for me too... not liking it too much either...
Nature was pushing me to get attached when I was young.
But they kept rejecting me.
I found providers. It was/it is understood that it's "superficial" and no attachments required.
It made sense, I liked it and accepted it. Now I don't even know what getting attached means and I'm not interested in that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke7vp_6xOME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfeVI29oHp4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4iqcRHXMpE
it’s a service.
Like when you go to a restaurant (hey, we can do that again!) and the waitress is very friendly to you. She (probably) doesn’t want to be your girlfriend—she wants you to enjoy yourself and leave a big tip, and come back and do it again and again. Or when you see a massage therapist (a legit one) and she puts her hands all over your naked body. She (probably) doesn’t want to be your girlfriend—she wants you to enjoy the massage and leave a big tip, and come back and do it again and again.
Even if you find yourself becoming friends with a provider (which can happen), keep in mind... the sex part is a service. Separate the friendship from the service. Unless of course you both want more than that. If that happens, great. But don’t expect it.
Just tell yourself that was the divorce papers being submitted.
As others have said, just don't forget you are paying for a service and don't let your emotional fantasy run away. If you find yourself falling for one try telling her and asking her out for a date. One of three things will happen:
1) She will get really creeped out and never see you again.
2) She will smile and postpone things until you pushing thing to the creepy stage and she never sees you again
3) She will see you as a fool and take lots of money from you.
All three will offer a good lesson to learn from.
However, it is true that sometimes things do work out. So the first question you need to ask is just what is it that you are falling for. If it is the sex and the act just stop right there and punch yourself, not slap, punch. Next consider just how well you actually know the person and how long you're really known them. Last, consider what she might want. Are you even on the same planet in that regard?
These boards are littered with sob stories of kids gone wild in the candy store.
Just keep it real. Know it's a business transaction first, but like mainstream businesses you can have real relationships/friendships between clients and customers.
Personally, I seek out providers that I connect with on more than a physical level. We can flirt by text, we can have meaningful conversations OTC, we can run into each other in a public place an not feel awkward, and eventually remain friends when she retires.
This type of attachment can also foster a deeper trust, no hard feelings when oe has to cancel last minute or is just having a bad day. It's like you're both real people.
for a few weeks and she will take you for $15,000. The guys I know that did this were PERMANENTLY cured of any future infatuations.
But even with the providers who I really like and see regularly over a period of years, and who I would probably enjoy hanging out with apart from paying them to fuck, whatever emotional attachment I develop doesn't seem to evolve into a desire to date or have some sort of SO or girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. Somehow I'm able to keep favorite providers in the same mental/emotional category as favorite restaurants, the woman whose cut my hair for many years, etc.
Even in civie life, having multiple options tends to prevent obsession. We are creatures of habit. The more you hang out with just one person, the more you will want to hang out with that one person. Spin more plates. As you flit around trying to keep them all spinning, a few crashing to the floor is not going to upset you too much.
How do some of you keep this stuff superficial and not get attached?
Then the inevitable will happen, you will be miserable and will have learned a valuable lesson...the hard way, which is the way that we seem to learn the most valuable lessons.
I speak from experience...
However, I have found it IS possible to have a real relationship with a provider, but it really needs to be initiated by her, and the progression has to look the same to you as a civvie-girl relationship. Many will just fake it to get something out of you. I may have a good connection with a girl I'm seeing professionally, but its not going anywhere unless she falls for me first, then if I'm interested, I will let my guard down and we will see what develops in the way of real feelings. IF I'm NOT interested, then I might be the one to fake it for awhile for the free sex that goes with an outside relationship. If I know they are genuinely pursuing me for affection and not money, I try to give them enough time to close the deal before I say no. I know that sounds shallow, but we can't all be perfect when it comes to women. Dating providers in real life is always a slippery slope. There are many more variables that can torpedo the relationship than there are with civvie girls. In my experience, the saving grace is that there tends to be far less drama dating a working girl than with civvie girls. I think its because they understand men better.
I agree that at least some of them understand men better. They certainly understand men’s sex drive better.
But I have a few retired sex workers with whom I have stayed in touch. One is actually a friend of the family (I’ll spare you the long story).
I’m sure there are more than a few exceptions to the following, human nature being what it is. But, no matter how great or how poor their self esteem may be, all that I know have had to come to terms with the fact that their past significantly limits their choices in life partners.
As a result, when they find someone they can love and live with who is also capable of living with their past, retired SW are much more willing to work at the relationship than your average civvies.
Again, we are talking about human beings here. There will be the inevitable bell curve.
Still, this is just my opinion based on my own experience. Any and all are free to disagree.
There are a lot more retiring providers looking for the perfect guy to exit the biz with than there are single guys who are financially stable, understand the difference between the customer dynamic and that of a real boyfriend, and who are not bothered by her past. I have met many providers who are looking for a guy who doesn't know about their sex-worker past, but these just become a ticking time bomb for the relationship. Its better to get it on the table and make sure he can handle it than to have him find out down the road and assume she didn't tell him because she was ashamed of her past, or worse, didn't trust him enough that he could deal with it if he really cared for her. Its a lose-lose by not telling him.
The trick is to keep her past out of any arguments or things devolve quickly. He gets mad, and says, "When I found you, you were just a cheap slut." She counters with, "I could have had ten other guys with more money and a bigger dick than you." Its tough to come back to "normal" from arguments like this. I have had outside relationships with several providers, and I NEVER bring up their work or their customers during a disagreement we may be having.
-- Modified on 7/1/2020 8:14:19 AM
People would think we would want a client to get attached because the money would go to us, but I have learned it backfires. They need a lot of attention and can drain you of a lot of energy.
You know, as much as we want to think someone would be able to act normal even though they fall in love or get attached to someone they can't have, infatuation can make you blind... and can make people turn a little wonky.
Black and white does turn to grey, lines do get crossed, and they get crossed more and more. Someone might think, "I'm not that guy..." and turn around later, realizing, wow. I became, "that guy."
I know I lose money if someone gets too attached, or if I get too attached to someone. Feelings are nice, but having multiple people does help a LOT. You have your favorites, but it takes the edge off, strokes your ego, and keeps you in check.
Xoxo,
JJ
Yes, allowing a client to get "too attached" is NOT in a providers best interest because at some point you are going to have to cut him completely out of your life and instead of getting ALL his "cookie money" you end up having to refuse it all, for your own sanity if for no other reason.
I have been lucky, so far at least I have never been "that guy" but there have been a couple of times where I had to check myself and a couple of other times where I was the one who had to walk away because the girl was getting "too" attached and the green monster of jealousy started rearing it's ugly head.
"True love" is great when BOTH people involved feel it equally, that is rare enough in the non hooker world and even more difficult to achieve in the world of P4P. and of course it's a disaster when one person falls in love more than the other, especially when both parties are fucking multiple people.