How many times has a client fallen in love with you and how did you deal with it? Seems a number of threads are active from the client's point of view, but it would be nice to hear from providers. When I say, 'fallen in love" I mean he (could be a she) has actually told you so. How do you deal with it?

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Tells me multiple times during each session and it is met with silence. I tell him he is a great guy...the end! I deal with it because I like the money. I am not responsible for how he deals with a P4P situation. He is a grown man and can deal with this himself

Why not offer the dude the true wifey experience?

I'm sure if he can't figure out why you have a headache (again) he's just not worth it.  But have him take the garbage out, fix the lights, clean out the litter boxes.

Maybe consider having him do the laundry as well?

Oh...and he gets that treatment for nothing less than double the current fee structure.

If he's into all that...sounds like you've got a dude into some kinky shit....and really is a serious masochist  

no need to add to the shit storm. I prefer limited time and the cash thanks...Lol

Seems like all the "good wives" that I know and have seen their work understand that the training of a good husband is part of the game.

Fine....quadruple the damn fees  LOL

Now give the poor sap a "honey dew" list...and tell him to get cracking!!

And I like them to leave. The perfect "marriage".

and many of them a do/have cared for.  However while I love to have close relationships with some of my male guests the actual words freak me out a bit.  Usually if those words come out I correct them and say "You lust me, there is a difference."  

The ones that say the words are not usually as serious as the ones who don't but you can just feel it from them where it goes deeper on their end.  I have never had anyone go off the deep end but I do try to keep things in perspective.  Like I will not allow large $ gifts or someone to help me out with services that could have surmounted to hundreds or thousands without setting up a account with comp sessions till the amount is gone.  I just do not feel right accepting things like that.  

No blurring the lines where someone could think more is going on then is.  I may have feelings for someone I have seen as a long time regular but I don't think I would ever again try to engage in a relationship of any sort outside of the hobby with someone I met through it(aside from my GF's that is).  I will not use someone feelings to try to get or guilt more $ out of a guest either, that is just so nasty

I like all my wives by the hour... And as soon as we consummate the union... I'm ready for them to leave as well...

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How does someone fall in love with an individual who engages in sexual intimacies with complete strangers for money?

How does anybody fall in love with anyone? Outside of our working lives we have normal family lives like the rest of the world. Plenty of folks think we are loveable even if they don't understand our profession. If i fell in love with a nuclear physicist I would not understand what why or how he does his job but I could still love him.  
You obviously do not understand the beautiful calling that we have. We are the Florence Nightingales of the sexual realm.  We have so much love to give. There are men who love us for that alone.

Well, two threads, one stupid question and one stupid observation. Could we have a new albeit late entry into the SPOTY's?

I think people who do that are great, so why not fall in love with one, if you're going to go fall in love, that is.

I did it.  Known her almost 10 years now, and married her last January.  I did so out of my estimation that her soul is a thing of beauty, not for the sex (Though we enjoy that a lot.), and not because of some need to have to be married.  We love each other and we want all our family and friends to know it.

FWIW she is retired now from providing, but for several years after we became an item she continued to do so, and I found that very hot.  She knows I continue to hobby, and often we do three-somes with provider friends of ours, and she considers that pretty hot too.

Life is short, and jealousy about sexuality or anything is a waste of that short time.

Well, first of all, there is nothing wrong with an individual who engages in sexual intimacies with complete strangers, for money or not.  At some point, we are complete strangers to each other before we meet, civie or pro.

Given the above, that individual may be a very nice person whose qualities you like.  Its not that big a step from "like" to love, especially if they are attractive and you, yourself, have alreadybeen sexually intimate with them.  Is all that so hard to imagine?

More common probably is the step from "like" to infatuation, which is usually what we're really talking about, anyway, isn't it?

Chemicals and those chemicals don't know if money has changed hands. Also, some of the guys here have been so starved of sex and intimacy, when they get it, it is like a diabetic let loose in a candy store...they OD and think they have fallen in love.

It's none of my business, or concern, what activities a grown woman voluntarily engages in. It would also be extremely hypocritical of me to criticize an industry I participate in. I simply don't understand how some people confuse P4P with love. Your success aside, bringing emotions like "love" into the equation seems very problematic for both providers and hobbyists.

It is problematic. Either the hobbyist will want her to quit and be all his or she'll feel guilt for doing her job and being in love with him.In my one experience with it, I always seemed to feel like I was cheating on my former client boyfriend when seeing my P4P friends.  It doesn't work and we ended.

I think "judgmental jerk" is more appropriate name for you.

Your post reads like you believe that women who have sex for money with strangers don't deserve to be loved, and quite frankly you sound like a judgmental jerk. I suppose a guy who pays for sex with women who are complete strangers doesn't deserve to be loved either, please get the fuck over yourself, or learn how to express yourself better.

And, a couple more seem like they're headed that way. They jjust need to be reminded how we met and how it will inevitably end one day. One in particular has to be reminded often.  But, one is great about it (and not a stalker) and realizes our friendship is temporary because I won't be in Georgia or in this hobby forever. The feeling is actually mutual in a non-committal way. Like the saying goes: It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Memories are forever, but broken hearts are only temporary.

I'm really chatty with my clients outside of our dates. If they initiate contact, I'm more than happy to text the day away while I'm at my boring job. So, I think REALLY getting to know each other that way probably causes that. I should probably stop, but my day job is so damn boring I need somebody to pass the time with. And, it's nice to feel loved.

Never fall for a JOHN...

Sorry this is so long but it actually was very therapeutic writing it out.  I do need some guidance so bear with all the details I'm sure you've heard it all before.  
Thanks in advance for your attention and hopefully guidance.  
Excellent timing in my little world for this topic. Thank you andPosted 8/4/2014 at 12:19:43 PM 4 of 13
goofball42
Reviews: 1

Try reading this
The best advice I can give is this: she picked you. She doesn't pick who else sees her.  
 
Maybe this will be a good read:  
 
http://christianbvega.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-date-sex-worker.html?m=1

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Quote Report this post high five to MrFisher. I wish my guy could be more like you.
I am a provider, listed as Masseuse/S&M. I'm not listed as an escort. I have been doing this since March 2013. In my sessions, I have the ability control the sexual tone and level of service. Several of my regular clients eventually grew to GFE/PSE companenships. They were starting to request more of my time. I was loving the role I played I their lives. I was finally financially stable, saved my house from foreclosure. the best part of the pleasure industry, in was in a safe environment meant I can ompletely releasing the sexual prowess that had been burrowed in me for so long.  
In Sept 2013, I met my match.  At first I did not think anything of him,  I thought he was a wonderful man but he was a client. At the beginning he would talk about how many providers he has seen, all over the states and nothing compares to the time he spends with me. He stated what I offer is something so unique and different, that he has no desire to see other providers.
He fell for me right away, said I love you I think almost immediately. I would just kind a chuckle at his intense attraction to me. Another thing that attracted me to home was his determination. due to his persistence, passion and many perfect presents, I became smitten as well. I say perfect presents because it was through these little things, he would bring me or do for me that I realized how well he knew me, I think he just always wanted to see me smile and prove our connection and that we were meant to be together.
He came over very often would stay for hours.  During that time I wouldn't take clients and ignored new inquiries. I was losing out on a ton of business.  
Sometimes he paid, other times he didn't. I was starting to think he was like quite a few other clients that I've experienced that assumed because our intimacy is so wonderful that they should get it for free. Obviously I was smart enough to smell these sexual scammers and cut them off right away.
But my guy was good, I was blind to see what he was really up to. So we agreed that when I would give him a massage, he would pay me. What he wasn't paying for was what he wanted the most. A sexual soulmate.  He was having the best sex if his life, every single one of his fantasies were coming true and he was coming out of his sexual shell. We were having sex all the time, all the while I was not getting paid. What he did pay me was never enough to replace the business I had lost. At the end of the month I would always panic because I had no money to pay my bills. That's when he jumped in to save me. He never hesitated to offer me the money and did have to help me out two months. This was very humbling and devastating to me. I never want to have to rely on anybody, well any one person with a financial demand. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. I work very hard to earn every penny. I was very uncomfortable taking a large sum of money from him. He estimates that he spent about five grand on me. If we broke it down per hour, the time we spent together, I could've taken some time off. At the beginning of 2014 he started to show obsessive signs. He invaded my privacy and hacked me. He figured out the password to all of my accounts, dating & bdsm profile, Facebook, and every single email account. He read through everything and was so disgusted at the men I still spoke to and he wanted to leave me.  I think within a week he started to hit me up he wanted to come see me again. I was livid, we separated and for a few weeks and I refuse to work with him. I was so depressed though and I really missed him and I let him back into my life. During this break, I started to feel the same desperation he felt for me. When he invaded my privacy I excused it as true passion that led him to do something so stupid. I took it as a compliment because he wanted to know every little thing about me. To have that type of passion or obsession I think is so hot, made me start to see the intensity between us. I don't support snooping and I don't think I would do that to him. Therefore I still kicked his ass over it and finally let him out of the dog house and back into my world. He was really was in my face and wanted to see me all the time and I was very responsive to his attention and affection.  We grew so close, sleepovers, activities outside my Incall (that was a huge move for me, I don't go outside with clients). We put limits on what I would do with clients and he would constantly harass me for details of the days appointments.  Then he needed to know how many calls, text messages, how many regular and new clients did meet with and what did I do with them. He would make little comments degrading the industry, making me feel like a whore.  After feeding me all that negativity about what
 I do for money.  I felt extreme guilty and for two months,  I had a hard time meeting with clients. I fell behind on 2 mortgage payments and was just miserable.  
He loved it when I didn't work, how depressed and stressed out I was over finance and not being able to be of service to my clients. So he still continue to occupy most of my time and continually question why I don't quit. and would constantly tell me He would tell me that he was in love with me all the time and I would just reply 'I love us'. But now Tables have turned.
He led me to believe he was not seeing anyone but me. Which was starting to motivate me to maybe look at other options for employment. he wasn't seeing anybody else which I know is hypocritical because I still was but I was having a hard time with it and working a lot less. Then a review hit TER of me and it all went downhill. There were a few after confirmed exactly what I told him what was going on in my sessions. I was abiding to the limits we set. However he then gave me his username and I saw these reviews he had and they were like right around times we were together and not fighting and he claimed that every time he did it was because the review popped up of me and he didn't want to have to pay could you didn't want the tracking and yada yada yada just bullshit. To mention at the beginning of this he was married and supposedly is getting a divorce his wife is not in his house because I have been there several times and he lied to me about his name about his phone number you gave a fake phone numbers everything up until probably a couple months ago and wouldn't tell me anything so I know one he is a huge liar the other thing I know is that he is addicted to Hobby and he has a huge problem and he's drag me in to the Darkside of how a relationship can end up in this industry and it's really affected my business. Yes and told me that he went to three providers a week all the while getting free services from me and what hurt me the most is that he was leading me to think I was this big old whore when he was out mongering himself and I was just trying to pay bills please tell me am I way out of line here?

-- Modified on 10/15/2014 6:35:24 AM

Maybe the rule is 'don't fall for this John'.  Or always be careful about the wrong guy/gal; and if we get fooled be ready to walk away.  But if the right person comes along (or 'a' right person comes along) I say just be a human being and go with it whether he hires you for companionship or you hire him to do an addition onto your house.  Whether you sat next to each other in high school English or sat next to each other at 'inset name of bar here'

As many have said, and as Mr. Fisher has proved, people are people and to try to stand in the way of a real connection is probably more unhealthy than letting it happen.  The real questions is 'when is it a real connection and when is it fool's gold?'  This guy gave you many signals along the way that he was fool's gold, and eventually enough was enough.  But if he was a civvie guy doing and saying the same degrading things, taking your time away from work, paying 3 providers a week for sex, and all the rest the result both financially and emotionally would have been the same.  

One of the biggest parts of being in a healthy relationship is being supportive.  In many ways it's at the core, as it means we accept the other person for who they are and will back them up even though we may not even agree with them.    

As we all know, great sex for an hour or two a day is easy.  But a day has 24 of them and the other 22 are the tough ones if the connection is not right.  But when it is, the need for these posts goes away and that is a great feeling.  I've had it, and I hope you can too

but owing to the poorly designed mechanisms of the human body and mind, they invariably do get confused, with hilarious results.  I'm not expecting this defect to be overcome anytime soon, either.

As GG states, you should work on how you express things because I (and others) did detect some negativity regarding gals and guys who engage in P4P.

It's never happened to me and I don't expect it to either.

But for the hobbyist is should be easier than other people, because we already separate love from sex in a way others do not... If you partition sex as business then what would it matter if that's the business of someone you love?  If the hobbyist can sleep with multiple women for money without it meaning anything, why not the woman with other men purely for money?

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when he pays those bills.

and still are strangers.

Maybe I am misunderstanding. If that is the case, just tell me so and I'll shut up and go away.

I do have one provider that I love and tell her so. We sometimes even joke about getting married - if I wasn't married already. That's actually how we say it "I'd try to get you to marry me if I wasn't married already". Or she will say "If you weren't married already I would marry you". And then we laugh and move on.  

I've known this girl for over a year and the relationship and even the sex just keeps getting better. I would never get a divorce for her. That doesn't make sense to me. It seems to somehow step over an important line where doing so hurts both her and me. Which probably makes me a bad person in some way or another.

I pay her well. She takes great care of me. She even makes a good effort to be a real friend. And I do the same. I think of this as a professional relationship where we've had the serendipity to be able to develop love and friendship along with it.

So, maybe that isn't what you and the OP are talking about? Because I wouldn't say that my ATF and I are "in love". We just love each other.

ROGM's girl

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