The guy who can't hobby because of his gorgeous SO but obsesses on this board about every thing.
He's also the one who bragged how much his so-called CEO traveling business made last year, how he couldn't spell "write" vs. "right" correctly twice, but how that's ok because his assistant speaks all the English around his business.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 7:19:51 PM
Never been so I Google my "responsibilities" and a long list of stuff I am supposed to do. Damn, I thought I just got hookers and said nice crap at the wedding?
Already spent 2 hours picking out fing tuxedos. Vera Wang.
Anyone willing to do the rest of my BMan duties so I can just get hookers
The groom and the Best Man were both mongers and the bride was a retired provider. The Maid of Honor was a working provider and one of the bridesmaids was a drag queen. Lots of fun. Of course, all I had to do was show up in a wonderful place, get drunk and eat. I can do that pretty reliably.
That sounds like a fun wedding, I typically don't enjoy the pomp and circumstances or weddings but something tells me that one was a blast
But it was mentioned here and confirmed by the groom. I don't want to mention names again here unless he does. And, yes, it was big fun. And the Best Man did an outstanding job. Of course, his job was made easier because the hookers were already invited.
I will bear witless he was far from it. Still, he acquitted himself adequately.
He now lives in an alternate reality.
and the groom's mother watched it all on Skype.
There was more, but I think everyone gets the idea.
Here's the tune that the couple danced to on their first dance after being wed:
I believe the ceremony also included Wiccan, Buddhist and other religions as well.
And as for the Jolson song, I guess I forgot but I like this one better. Despite the racist black face it really is one of the great songs of all time.
Black face still takes place in the mainstream music of today.
Al Jolson was a real peachamaroot.
In a recent book I just finished reading, One Summer, America 1927, by Bill Bryson, Bryson described Jolson as someone who would suddenly start to pee on complete strangers, in the open public.
Always nice to hear that their are weirder people than myself out there.
(I'd at least have mentioned it first.)
glad you showed up at the right time at the right place. lol
This wedding was about as unique as it gets without Human Sacrifice. Of course, maybe that happened too and I was just too busy eating the Ropas Viejos. And, of course, getting drunk.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 7:52:56 PM
but you know who wimped out at the last minutes.
(His initials are MP.)
Good citizens wedding
I still can t stop but surprise how you people deciding everybody on casts
Mongers providers drug dealers as those are not humans do not have families not able feel love have fun
I do admit that only division on classes according to income makes real difference what a laugh now having someone who happy married to ex hooker and found her be the best mother and wife
And just bec she knows how do sex. But because she is best person you can meet and can be open with her be yourself
Sometime romantic monger sometime kinky pervert
What is a hooker ? What is a provider ?it is a woman
What is a monger ? John ? To start just horns hungry for sex unsatisfied ma
WTF?
Die English language! Die!
Paragraph structure must be killed!
In other words I am sorry but that made no sense whatsoever.
Trying to figure out what this has to do with hobbying at all... We gave a guy a hard time for talking about his wife, but that was at least tangential.
I'm assuming your friend picked you because of this letter you wrote him:
Dear Friend of mine whom I shared a hooker with once in MMF,
I was so happy to hear of your engagement to that fugly skank (what's her name again?) you introduced me to last year.
You didn't listen to my advice to stick to hookers but I'm still happy for you.
If you had listened to me, you could be banging hookers and paying $300k in business taxes - ie, I'm really fukking successful.
Btw, I think it would be a hoot and piss off your wife-to-be if you picked me as your best man.
I could book you a caravan of primo hookers.
That would also be great for me since I told my SO that I've officially "quit" hookers. Wink wink.
If there's time, we can also catch up on my CEOing and world traveling.
So, what else am I supposed to do as your best man beside hire you hookers?
Should I rent a tuxedo now?
Yours,
xxxxxxxxxx
You might want to edit this one like the reply below.
Pls put "edited" in parentheses otherwise I won't reread.
I do want you to do well here. We know from Madoff that the window for Ponzi is likely closing for you. Maybe practice with lilstinkyboy. The other comparable practice partners, Udolt, Dungbeetle, FIDIOT, seem to have disappeared.
Ok so this is your first time being a best man. One would think a high profile ceo with a hot russian babe and a cute secretary who does everything for him, would have far more friends than that but I digress...
And what's the point of bragging about some mens warehouse suit on a hobby board? Some of us burn through several times the cost of that suit in a month in the hobby. 
Just take your friend to a nice strip club, tell the manager it's your friend's bachelor party, or you can rent a hotel room and bring some cute girls for him.
PS: Remember not to drive, take a taxi or have a designated driver.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 7:18:35 PM
The guy who can't hobby because of his gorgeous SO but obsesses on this board about every thing.
He's also the one who bragged how much his so-called CEO traveling business made last year, how he couldn't spell "write" vs. "right" correctly twice, but how that's ok because his assistant speaks all the English around his business.
We're still trying to figure where his sole proprietor LLC Ponzi scheme is incorporated...CPA, I think he still needs a, ahem, accountant. Lol
Yeah, I know I've just invited your patented brilliant comeback. Someone inform his Board of Directors... he's taking his schtick public! lmfao.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 7:19:51 PM
ADJ, your my favorite girl.
In the end, you went with the one you used before. Lame.
I was going to say I'm not jealous of being best man.
I didnt even think you meant anything else because NO ONE here or behind the wall believes you're a real CEO.
Only a self appointed prez of a sole prop LLC Ponzi. The traveling I believe because coach seats are not that bad. MY admin, who named my hobbying handle for me, agrees and she's been admin'ing for decades. What ceo would embarrass his company by giving a clue in his f--kboard handle. Real answer: none. L(our)AO to your public spectacle.
Fun to toy with you.
Coming from a drunk, I'm not an alcohalic I don't go to those meetings. Great advise, I wish more people were that responsible. My drunkenness never affects others, well every once in a while I'm posting drunk in here but I'm home if doing so and you don't have to read my senseless babbling.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 11:33:22 AM
PUI is not only tolerated, but actually encouraged. It gives everyone else something and somebody to laugh at. I will confess to waking up the next morning and reading some of the nonsense I have posted while PUI.
I had a HUP (hobbying under Pee). 
Ended up peeing in a soda cup right before going through Lincoln Tunnel, on my way to an appointment. Traffic jam, bright sunnny day, everyone behind me watching, no way out of that unless I let my bladder explode.
I had to wash the spill on my pants and dry it with an iron at the hotel. Good thing I had booked my own room and did an out call, otherwise I'd have smelled like pee
Still, only McDonald000 took a huge dump at a provider's incall, then expected it (and the shower that followed) was OTC. What a fucker.
AA's are for addicts who drink a 6 pack every single day.
I don't drink that much anymore. Maybe 2~ 3 glasses of wine every now and then, mostly socially.
I only have 2 in a night, the first one and the last one, I don't count the ones i n between. And I never drive after I've started drinking, I mean C'Mon cabs are quite cheap compared to the alternative.
At my friend's bachelor party few years ago, we decided to go to Vegas. We didn't rent a car for obvious reasons. Cab works just fine especially in a party city like vegas lol. There was a Cab driver who told us that he sees girls get so drunk after a party and they'd flash him, he once hit a car in front of him. It's the drunk party girls you gotta watch out for over there if you wanna stay alive.
Hell good looking young women wouldn't even see me, I mean that I'd be invisible to them. When those same girls are drunk I go from a solid 4 to a 7, I love those odds. I'm a poker player, so you know I like when my odds get better
And when she bends down to pick them up you can say to her "hey while you're down there".
Told him I would be proud to be his best man on 1 condition, when it came to the part about with this ring he had to look at me instead of his bride to be and say "with these balls." Marriage lasted all of 2yrs. To quote him now" Biggest mistake of my fucking life" he'll tell you
I wish anyone well that goes down that slippery slope, I did, but I'd like to be informed of the upside. It's a good party, I'll give you that, but the poor sap is in for more Hell than he even imagines.
Which was ample reward for all the pain and effort!
Here is to wishing that the lady across the aisle is all you hope for...
if you're in the wedding party. Everybody's celebrating and very chummy, looking good (at least for a while). Easy atmosphere to score in, but you've got to be discreet or all the other bridesmaids will know.
I've been best man twice, and both times the bridesmaids put me off marriage forever! It's hard to get laid at these events when the best looking girls present are busy working and think the entire party are a bunch if morons. I took a date to my brothers wedding.... one of the other groomsmen kept trying to pick her up. When she'd turn him down repeatedly, the asshole started cock blocking me with her, or tried to. I still ended up in bed with her, but it was the most difficult lay of my life.
Frisk the groom for pistols before the reception. Because if you stand up & toast "The Gal who took him away from Whoring!" Expect to be shot. Maybe a Kevlar tux would be a good idea though not particularly comfortable.
I can't imagine what wedded bliss should be like; it must be sickening.
You don't have a big job. Just make a nice speech, have a great bachelor's party and roofie your date before someone else doe
I want you.
Because that was my first choice. I thought against it. I would let any man have the satisfaction of an easy way out when he's already sentenced himself to death.
Ah marriage. Where the sex stops and the nagging gets worse.
Sitcoms could only do much to warn us, right Al?
You'd see me on Comedy Central and then boom, stand up comedienne is former sex worker makes headlines, I'd be all over TMZ, Howard Stern would want me to sit on that vibrating mechanical bull looking thing and masturbate on it and I'd just be Tila Tequila all over again, reality show including,
Actually that wouldn't sound so bad if I didn't have this thing called pride.
And I'm sure you'd look adorable on it.
Don't ask for advice for that here!
It makes you..... You know...
Fuck you, and Mr. Wang!
You are lost brother 
Post when you understand what I mean.
I said no. WAY too many responsibilities involved, lol.
I regretted it on the wedding day, however, when I saw how her maid of honor handled her role…
Then I was glad ten years later when I found out she had been fucking my fiancé lol.
If you don't want to do it, don't. You never know what's going on behind the scenes lol.
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