So far I’ve been with over a dozen providers and haven’t really found what I’d consider a GFE.  Sure I’ve had some good kissers and BBBJs on occasion but that’s not really what it means to me to have a GFE.  I’m looking for that feeling that this is a long lost girlfriend.  I’m looking for a better actress than I’ve found, I guess.  The magic seems to be in the ability to sense what I want and just do it without asking.

I’ve been with playful women who were sexy but a little detached and I’ve been with timid ladies who seemed tentative and somewhat too passive and I’ve been with aggressive women who really led the show in a choreographed way. Often nice but nothing that I want to repeat over and over and nothing mind blowing as I'd like.

The closest I’ve come has actually been with a FBSM provider. At times I’ve given up on FS and just wanted to be pampered and this was just such a case. After the session she just sort of curled up next to me like she was my girlfriend not just a masseuse. The feeling was incredibly great for me but happened only the once seemingly spontaneously.

I’m not bad looking although no Mel Gibson. I’m not in bad shape and I am always clean and respectful.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m even too respectful or too sensitive.  I try to research ahead of time by reading reviews and limiting whom I see to older women since I’m over 50 myself, but that hasn’t helped. Still guessing wrong.

Advice, comments, observations?

I'm with you on this one.  Also inmy 50's, I try to always be clean and respectful.  I have been lucky in finding a couple of providers who come so close to the elusive GFE, but not quite.  Maybe the right coast providers are more accommodating than the left coast.  If you ever come this way, e-mail me for some suggestions.

Don't give up, my friend.  We are out here.  Perhaps you should meet with a younger provider.  I could name a few people off the top head, who are exactly what you're looking for.  

P.S.  the reason you don't feel the connection, could be related to a number of things...
- nerviousness, which in turn, creates ackwardness for the provider.
- detachment & unaffectionate attitudes- diminishes the desire, of the provider, to be connected.

Just my $.02

Princess Shannon of San Diego

I, too, look for that elusive GFE in a provider.  Another hobbiest described it as the "click" .. something that goes beyond the standard definitions of GFE.  I'm looking for a level of rapport on an emotional as well as physical level.

I've been fortunate to have found it in one provider.  "Spontaneous" doesn't begin to cover what goes on when we're together ("spontaneous combustion" is closer .  Unfortunately, she's 1,000 miles away so we don't see each other as much as we might like.

I will say that the "click" didn't occur on our first meeting.  The first time with her was really good, but not mind blowing.  There was something about her that I liked, though, and that brought me back for more.  By our third meeting, it was an OMFG experience.

So, while YMMV, try going back for round 2 with a lady you like ... you might find things heat up after she gets to know you a little better.

Good luck in your quest ..

..at least searching is fun!

Yes, I'm nervous sometimes at first but I don't imagine that's uncommon but I'm quite the opposite of detached or unaffectionate and perhaps that's more of the problem. I really want to get through that impersonal "shell."   I know it's possible I just haven't had the right one yet.

P.S. thanks for the encouragement

I do not think BBBJs make a GFE. I like my client/friends and would feel really uncomfortable if they did not cuddle and snuggle. I want to feel like we our on our own long lost sexy weekend (if only for 2 hours ). Im a very warm and friendly person and like that in others too. Hot, sensual, steamy with a loving touch is what makes a great time for me. xoxo DevinDDD Taylor

I've found a couple of the type you look for.  It took time, but was worth it.  Agreeing with some other posters here, the feeling between the lady and I grew with repeated visits.  I believe you can find chemistry with a provider.  Trust your instincts, be patient.  You'll know it when you find it.  Good luck.

it took quite a while for me to find that elusive GFE/ATF that you're looking for. To tell you the truth I found that it had less to do with what she or I or we did, but much more with that "feeling". Sometimes you just get lucky and find that person that you click with in a way that is difficult to put into words. It may or may not be a "mind blowing" experience. For myself, a GFE is a comfort zone, it'll be someone you just simply like to be with, not who is necessarily the best at doing specific things. Keep looking and good luck.

pt

Come to LA----you'll find what you seek

here's my take.

you are deeply aroused by doing something naughty. however, you're a sweet guy, so your instinct is to follow the rules (in this case, the lady's lead).

you like the fbsm because you can completely surrender to it and even act out a little in your pleasure, which is a little naughty for you (you're being selfish). otherwise, the game is too complex, so you try to stay in control, which means following the girl's lead, which is being dutiful, not naughty.

my suggestion is that you call up that one provider that gives you more wood than the canadian rockies ... you know the one i mean. call her up and ask for the two hour session.

pick the time you love to have sex, and go there. it will be better if it's during the day, and you can leave the office without an excuse or a pager. if you have preferences in clothing or fantasies, tell her.

as you are driving to see her, imagine what it is you want to do with her, or what you want her to do to you.

when you get there, do it, or ask for it.

every moment you can, tell her what you are feeling and why. don't talk the way you think you should, talk the way you feel.

look at it this way: the minx is probably trying pretty hard to please you, but all you're doing is whatever she's suggesting you do. what, is she supposed to read your mind?

i'm not trying to be disrespectful, i'm sketching a direction.

Thanks for the referral! ) My .02 cents (Life's a grass)

He's not taking responsibilty for his own fulfillment and expects the provider to instinctively know what exactly at any given moment will make him happy.  Plus he is expecting her to FEEL for him...impossible!   I wouldn't be surprised if this is a common theme in his life in general.  Pleasure starts in your own mind.  He needs to look inward first before looking outward for a provider.

I don't normally promote recreational drug use but it wouldn't be a bad idea if he smoked a little grass before his session so he can loosen up and enjoy himself.  He needs to connect with his emotions, with what is going on inside.  This disconnection is why he is left unfulfilled with his sessions, I think.

-- Modified on 8/2/2002 3:12:58 AM

Thanks for the observations and suggestions. I, for one, am impressed and fastinated with your take on things.

I particularly intrigued by what you said in the thread above and would like to know more of your thoughts on this:

"i used to think that if i had intense fantasies and obsessions about a lady after an encounter, it was because she was so hot. wrong. it was because she held something back, didn't take something all the way. "

Re:Thanks for the referral! ) My .02 cents (Life's a grass)

talia honey do you have grass? can you let me smoke some grass? you can? gee, how tall are you?

i was surprised when the topic turned to marijuana with a very sweet lady i visited two weeks ago, and she offered to fire me up a scavenging insect. first time that has ever happened.

it's possible to get the *expectations* for "girlfriend experience" too high. it is, after all, a service arrangement. but i find things work out really well if *i* get into *my* girlfriend mood -- that is, tell her she's wonderful, tell her she's being so nice to me, tell her i love what she's doing, and tell her i love being with her.

i don't get into the whole rob lowe "i'm so hot you're so hot" thing, and i avoid women who advertise that way. i like it to start out just friends and neighbors, and the sex part is what boils over.

I don't normally condone drug use but the guy sounded way too uptight and disconnected with his inner self.  I thought it might help him.


What do you mean by the "rob lowe" thing....

Pat,

Perhaps passion is the element missing in your encounters. When you find someone who can bring out the passion in you with not just her beauty but with her mind ...VIOLA ...If you come to Chicago I would love to see if we can find what you are looking for. I am older, and companion to only a few. Email me for info and pictures.   [email protected]

Ellen

That is normal.  When a woman gives you everything there is no longer a mystery.  You have had all she has to offer and are done with her.  Time to move on.

But mystery is very captivating...it intrigues.

Pity that a lot of girls don't understand that here.  The hint of nudity is sexier than a gynecological beaver shot.  Holding back makes a man want to discover and pursue, to peel back the layers to find out what lies beneath.

The smartest women understand this...they don't tell all or give a man everything...they maintain their mystery.

She is very captivating and mysterious.  Definately take her up on her offer!

Message from  yahoo.com.
Unable to deliver message to the following address(es).

[email protected]:
204.156.22.193 does not like recipient.
Remote host said: 550 User unknown.
Giving up on 204.156.22.193.