A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She

picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared! The
amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a
one-wish genie. So.. what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.
See
this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I
want
all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will
bring
about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape
after
being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I
don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find
the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook
and
help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my
family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what
I
wish for ... a good man."

          The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that damn map
again."

Men are men .....

Fellow shipwrecked on an island comes across an old bottle in the sand. He picks it up and "lo and behold!", a Genie appears.

"You have freed me from the prison of the lamp in which I have been held for untold millenia. I grant you three wishes!"

"For my first wish, I wish I was home in my palatial mansion in California overlooking the Pacific Ocean!" "Granted!," said the Genie. And sure enough, the man was standing in the living room of a magnificent house with an amazing view of the ocean, with the Genie floating above the sofa nearby.

"For my second wish, I wish for a Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name." "Granted!," announced the Genie, as a little black book with the insignia of an offshore banking institution materialized in the mans hand. Sure enough it indicated an account in his name to the tune of a Billion dollars US.

"For my third wish, I wish to be able to sexually satisfy any woman alive!" "Granted!," said the Genie, and the little black book and the vibrator fell to the floor.

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.  He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.  A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.  The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."  The man thought  for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill.  So, I wish for a  road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that.  Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean.  Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted.  I would like to be able to understand women.  What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?

Oh, that was a good one!

Hugs,
Ciara