How do you know when to move on from your provider? Similar to hobbyists, most providers, especially the younger ones, enjoy the adrenalin rush of meeting new guys and get easily tired seeing the same guy repeatedly in my view. Three years ago I saw one provider repeatedly for a year and her interest and services from our first to last encounter declined noticeably, though she would not admit it.

Are there any visible signs that can confirm her changing attitude so that you can move on?
I listed a few and would like to get more ideas:

1. Difficult to find dates and she cancels
2. She increases her rates
3. She starts taking control in bed to “rush” you through
4. She is no longer well dressed for the occasion

I would say that if 3 out of 5 are true then it is time to move on. Do you think this is too simplistic? Would love to hear from both hobbyists and providers.

as a starting point.  Those are certainly flags--and I would think they call for a guy to look a bit deeper at what is hapening, but I don't think they are a foolproof cut & dry predictor.

As a side note, you may want to find a refresher course on counting.

Rule of thumb...if I have to think about my "chemistry," it's time to move on.

I dunno if providers really care that much to see new guys all the time.  Providers, like hobbyists, want to connect with someone, and all things considered, would rather see a bunch of regular clients than have the apprehension of seeing someone new.  Most providers get a little nervous when seeing someone they don't know.

As far as services declining...how is that any different from any other relationship?  It happens, and even with the hottest girl, things slow down over time.  I think you are way overthinking this.

As for your points...

1.  She could just be booking up.

2.  She's a provider and therefore a businesswoman.  She is raising her rates to maximize revenue.  Why should she give it away for $300 when she can get $400?

3.  "Rushing" through is never good, but a girl taking control isn't bad in and of itself.

4.  A girl can just be more comfortable with you and thus dress down more often.

You are WAY overthinking this.  To take a page from London Rayne...sounds like you might be confusing a provider/client relationship with a real one, and your lines may be blurred.

That said, clearly you are not happy.  So move on.

just a note on dress...I want to be sure you know I spent time making a first impression...but I'm a real person, and once you know me and you've already unwrapped the package a couple times, I prefer the intimacy of being comfortable...you're a friend so I can relax around you--unless you request a certain kind of outfit, I have no problem with that and since some people tell me their favorite dress code a couple of times I try to always provide them with what they are looking for...but also, my regular clients I will see in a pinch if I can, which doesn't always leave me a bunch of time to deck out...that being said, I always do concern myself with a certain level of hotness so you don't feel like I don't care, cause I do...I like to look good, then I feel good and your praise makes me wanna give you the goods...so it's a nice circle...but to me a sexy top and jammy pants are hot as well as comfortable.  If you don't like it, hopefully you'll let me know

this gets more like civee dating every day........oh boy.

ps, but u do make some valid points.

she gets "rid off" this guy who just called and is outside waiting whom she forgot about.

Honest to God, this did happen to me once.  I was young and stupid, so actually did it.  I peeked in on them too.  It was kind of neat to watch, actually.

Simplistic? No. In fact, I find your thought process to be elaborately complicated.

The only adrenaline rush I get from meeting a new client is from fear that he might be psychotic or LE. I've yet to meet aprovider whose career choices have been based on her uncontrollable sex drive. Even if that were the case, I can assure you that a 21 y/o hottie isn't creaming her panties for bald, overweight, old, hairy, jaded men.

It is natural for a provider to increase her rates after establishing herself. Do you seriously take that personally? It's a business, and I highly doubt she bases such choices on anything other than what works for her, not your approval, or as you speculate, her anticipated disapproval. You have rejection issues because of a prostitute?! Really????

Maybe she is taking control in bed to mix it up. Ever think of that?

Lastly, you said that if 3 out of 5 are true, it is time to move on. You only listed 4, however. Maybe you didn't count her envelope correctly either lol. Seriously, who makes a laundry list of grievances to determine an acceptable amount of subpar service? Don't be a d-bag. Just move forward. Good luck.

I am not seeking her "approval", but following good business practice as London wisely stated. My question was based on commerce not emotions, to ensure that I get a bang for my buck from a provider I saw for an extended period of time. Personally I did actually move on, but always wondered whether I should have done much earlier, or waited more. Initially I was just avoiding the time, cost and risk of looking for another provider who will meet my expectations. Btw I run my own business and assure you that it is sooo much about relationship. For all of 2010 and 2011, I sold at a loss to my established clients to keep hanging on to my market share.


-- Modified on 9/1/2012 9:30:57 AM

I can only speak from my point of view.  I have been in and out of the escorting scene for about 10 years now.  I have had a handful of gentleman friends who have followed me over the years.  Some will see me once every two months and some see me once every 3 months.  I think if you are seeing a provider every week, or every month you get to know each other pretty well and as with all relationships regardless if a paid one or not familiarity can breed contempt, or can cause each person to feel they are in a sort of routine.  This is just human nature.  I really do enjoy my encounters with my gentleman friends but honestly it can get boring if they see me too often.  I would rather keep it fresh with maybe visits that are once a month or once every other month.  In addition I like to change things up a bit and for each visit try something new out.  Why get stuck in a routine and the same old same old is expected every time.  It can be fun to surprise a gentleman friend with something fun and new on each visit!  I don't think that a lady raising her rates however is an indication she is bored with you.  I know I have raised my rates to slow things down and to appeal to a better class of gentleman friends.  It is amazing how a gentleman perceives a lady when she has low rates (they don't like the thought of her seeing a ton of men a day).  I know it seems a bit silly given the nature of the business but there are some gentleman who can be possessive and would rather visit a lady with higher rates knowing that she may only see one or two gentleman at most in a given day.  In some cases the HDH ladies only see 1 a week.

Anyway I hope that answers your questions!

You do realize that we have a percentage of pathetic Johns here that honestly believe that gals get all "worked up" when Johhnie shows up.

And now you have to simply reinforce the concept that this is a business?

Sheesh...But I'm sure those Johns know that they are special.  And you aren't really talking about them  LOL

Alphas don't need to worry about the shit you're worrying about.

Time to move along there pal.  And stop over analyzing any of this.  It's P4P...she gets paid to fuck you, you pay her to suck your dick.  When you're tired of her...there's always another.

Simple

I don't know "all" providers. My rates went up more than 300 dollars for my local area, yet my regulars were grandfathered in at the rate they paid from day one. I can assure you it had NOTHING to do with chemistry either...more about integrity. Canceling is just unprofessional behavior so yes, I can see how that might suggest "she's just not that into you."

The other things...really don't know, but I don't think that much about it. I do my job and when it's done, I go about my merry way wishing all well. No kissing? That's a ymmv thing I would guess, but the only time I don't is when the guy is horrible at it or clearly needs some gum.

Being well dressed is a given. Many providers feel once they have seen a guy a few times it's ok not to shave their legs or wear makeup and nice attire...I am not one of them. What you did to get that client, is what you should keep doing if you want his business. If he wanted someone who did not bother, he would fk his wife who has not shaved her bush since 1908 lol.



-- Modified on 9/1/2012 11:53:47 AM

i saw a lady 5 times in a 2 month period, and for several hours at a time each time.

she is not established in my area, so it was on her tours.

the next time i wanted to see her i would be traveling to her area.  she had raised her rates.  i asked her booker/assistant/pimp if i would be grandfathered in at the rate i had seen her at.  i was told no.  (as it turned out, for other reasons totally unrelated to her or her prices, i was unable to see her that time).

on the other hand, i just saw a great lady for the second time, and she grandfathered me in under the old rate, even tho her rates went up significantly.  she's fairly new to this area, but when i saw her (and by reading all her other reviews) i knew for a fact she would become prime, become a hot commodity, a star in this area.  i am thankful to her for keeping her old rates for me.

other ladies i know have offered to grandfather me in under old rates.  even one lady i haven't seen, but was in contact with several months ago, recently told me i could see her at the rates established when we first were emailing months ago, instead of her new rates.

i would ask the op if his chemistry issue isn't more in his head than the lady's.  in other words, maybe he's the one getting tired of the arrangement, not her.

as a way of possibly deterring a repeat. It can get really difficult to tell a guy you have seen a few times that you no longer are interested at all. Not saying this is the only reason but one I have heard can be used.

Definitely something to think about. Why would a provider raise her rates after, say, two visits but keep us on her mailing list? If she doesn't care to see us anymore, why doesn't she remove us from her list and stop soliciting us? I think she still wants to see us but at the higher rate due to.... greed. Providers who don't grandfather fail to realize that raising our rates after we've seen them a number of times is as insulting to us as hobbyists attempting to negotiate a provider's rates down is to them. I'll venture a guess that providers who pull this end up losing those clients regardless.

And then there are providers we see for years and they suddenly decide to jack up our rates for whatever reason. Oops, sorry, there is a good reason, greed, moola, miking the cow for all its worth. This practice is even more insulting and talk about breeding contempt...

If you don't want to see a client anymore, why not be honest and tell him not to contact you anymore? Playing the rate game and cancelling appointments or making yourself unavailable sounds pretty sneaky to me.

Women are confounding, in and out of the hobby, lol.

Too bad some providers don't believe in your philosophy nor have your integrity.

I may or may not get flack for putting in the link below, but it could be that she simply doesn't think you appreciate her at where she currently is anymore. This is if you've been "grandfathered" in. I was first shown to this blog post by some other thread in TER, but it popped back into my head when I saw this thread. See link below.

I personally prefer to develop longer term relationships with my clients, but I know a few other girls who think it's boring to see a client more than a handful of times. They'll frequently "retire" from certain personas/clientelle, switch to another, and when bored of that one make a come back until they're bored again. Seems like a bit too much trouble to me, but hey! To each their own!

It is much harder than you think to tell a client you don't want to see him anymore by just saying "Please don't contact me anymore". he will invariably ask why. Then you have tell him why..and that can end very badly.

Those tactics might sound sneaky to you, but once you have had a few guys go apeshit on your ass, you tend to want the removal with the least amount of drama.

When they raise their rates are they doing it out of greed? Do you still go there or boycott? Last time I looked this is a business and we are in the business of making money. Other businesses raise rates, why not this one? And not all reputable businesses grandfather the first clients that walked in the door, 10 years after being in business. They raise their rates in concert with the general cost of living etc.

You think it's insulting..well some of us feel that having to grandfather in clients we saw when we first started at a much lower rate insulting too. Nothing worse than trying to fuck a lady who is resenting every moment you're there. And they do lose clients..the ones they don't really want to see in the first place. And sometimes some money is not better than none at all. There are many of us who can't be with a guy that makes us feel that way...cringing and resentful for a couple of hundred dollars...not worth the angst.

I will grandfather some guys, the guys I like and who are the easiest clients. The more difficult ones, no.  They are not on my list of "want to keep seeing". They will eventually drift way and be replaced with others.



-- Modified on 9/3/2012 4:28:37 PM