How can providers not fall in love with clients--it's bound to happen some time. It must be so painful knowing the love is unrequited. And it's not something you can bring up to the client-- it's just not done. Sometimes I feel sad for the providers because of what they have to do. They have to block out all feelings... not just the most intimate act, but the conversations, and getting to know the other person. That's a lot of emotional bottling up and blocking if you ask me.

And I especially feel for the younger ones who are just doing this to put themselves through school and hoping for a better life eventually. Emotionally, it's got to be tough for them... I just felt sorry today for some reason. maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic

What's a projectionist?

pro·jec·tion·ist (prə-jĕk'shə-nĭst)
n.

1. One who operates a movie projector.
2. A maker of map projections.

but I would doubt anyone would fall in love with someone based on a one hour encounter in bed.  In order for the provider to have more than one contact with the client, the client must have felt some reason to schedule more appointments and have enough interest in the woman or the conversation to participate.

My provider friend tells me a lot of her overnight or longer dates are with guys who are basically jerks and use them as sex toys after they are done fishing, golfing, etc.  Not much interaction seems to go on elsewise.

While it sounds interesting, I would suspect that providers rarely fall in love with their clients with out a heavy interaction with the client.

On the other hand clients seem to fall in love with providers if the provider says hello first LOL grin

I am aware of one instance where a provider and a former client are in love and in fact living together.  I suppose this is the exception that proves the rule.

Someone who posts here keeps saying "It's all about the money", and unfortunately most of the time that's true, although I still believe that there are many gals in the business that truly enjoy what they are doing.  God bless them!

I learned long ago that there's nothing under the sun that's impossible.

Or, ROFLMAO,  Laughing My Ass Off.

And nothing makes my heart soar like a good happy ending. My "mantra" is to keep everyone (myself included) on course and steeped in reality.

  Cm.

today i fantasized about a "Hollywood Ending" with my ATF, thinking how it was never all about the money after all ... is that 6 lashes or 66, i forget!?


[singleton cowers before Cynicalman, playing "Renfield" to his "Count Dracula"]

ez mindenrõl a pénz!
ez mindenrõl a pénz!
ez mindenrõl a pénz!

(the magic incantation in Hungarian!  

your post above deserves serious consideration (if only to set up the next punch line! ... NO JUST KIDDING!  

i don't doubt that it is "possible" that somewhere somehow some one provider with the proverbial "heart-of-gold" (as opposed to say ... chartreuse!?  does in fact fall in love with one of her johns and decides to quit the bizness and the two of them live happily ever after, etc.  granted, why not?  surely stranger things have happened.

your one "existence proof" above may in reality be just one out of say 10s or even 100s of such cases. but i guess what i'm trying to say here is that ... hmmm ... what AM i trying to say?   LOL

oh ok, yeah... that however large that number is (say 2000) once normalized by the sample population size it dwarfs and shrinks to insignificance so much so that it may just as well have started out being zero anyway! (in math-speak, a finite-measure  infinitesimal number) thus implying, oddly enough, that almost none of us would ever encounter it in our hobbying lifetimes. in other words, an "invisible" phenomenon that has no visible impact on the hobby... let that soak for a few secs!

so i guess (younger) guys like myself (late 30s) can poke fun at the improbability of it all, choosing to paint comic relief with the IMPOSSIBILITY instead. but there is "infinite" wisdom in what you say: "I learned long ago that there's nothing under the sun that's impossible" ... ok, enough word play with "finite" and "possible"  LOL


what it all comes down to is what my Vegas-bound gambling buddies like to quip which is  "before you LIVE the DREAM, you have to PLAY the ODDS" ... or something like that (i forget the exact phrase)

hopefully not too "odd" a post!  








-- Modified on 6/25/2003 10:19:07 PM

How is this any different from any other unrequited love?  

If there's a chance that it isn't unrequired and the provider senses feelings and has other indications of interest from her client, why couldn't she talk about it, at least carefully?  It would be sad to think that two people with a chance at love would avoid it simply because "its just not done".  

Speaking as a client who has very strong feelings for a provider, I can only dream that she cares for me as I care for her and that is the reason for her hesitancy.  But I suppose I'm just deluding myself.

Sigh

I never commented on the statistical probability of such a thing.  I just posted a comment on the minute amount of knowledge I have on this subject.  

I have fallen in lust with a provider (many, in fact) but have never fallen in love.  I value my friendships outside the hobby with a small number of providers, but they're friends, and occasional "dates".  I wouldn't, in any sense of the word, except perhaps for a couple of hours at a time, call it love.

That said, I don't doubt your statistician-like post (Not a flame, your knowledge impresses me).  The fact that statistically this one instance,or the 100s you mention, are insignificant is no doubt accurate.  But obviously within the realm of possibility.  My math skills only go as far as my little calculator will take me.  And I do know how to count my change when I buy something.  And how much to put in that envelope.  Anything more complex than that spins my head.

BTW, that provider I know that did fall in love and move in with her "John" is still a provider.  Evidently he doesn't mind, and in fact their life style is that of a swinging couple.  I have no comment or even feelings about that one way or another.  If they're happy, and not hurting anyone, then that's fine with me.

"BTW, that provider I know that did fall in love and move in with her "John" is still a provider.  Evidently he doesn't mind, and in fact their life style is that of a swinging couple."  -- fortitude


then fugadaboutit!!   i rest my case.  LOL

in some circles that's called "pimping" ... not love!    but hey, they entirely have my blessings as long as both are happy (let's just say open marriage/swinging ain't my golden standard-bearer of love and fidelity)

is it too late to retract all my near-admissions of possibility in the previous post???  LOL


it's all about the money!  (with 99.99% certainty)

"A defense mechanism in which the individual attributes to other people impulses and traits that he himself has but cannot accept."
or
"assuming that others act or perceive similarly"
(see link, 2a and 2b)

>I can only dream that she cares for me as I care for her
>and that is the reason for her hesitancy.  But I suppose
>I'm just deluding myself.

Rule 1: Have a good time.
Rule 2: Avoid making any presumption about
       emotional attachments by others--and it may
       not be healthy for you, either.  You're paying
       for a service. Leave it at that or we may see
       you on the 6:00 news.

Personal recommendation: Broaden your horizon.  Spend some time with other(s).

99.99% probability.  Yeah, sure.  The fact that they're together and she's still "working" in insignificant as well.  So what?  I'd bet the percentage of married providers is higher than we might estimate

I am supposed to be one of the cynical ones here.  I think it would be foolish to see providers with the idea that you are going to find your SO.  Having said that I also think it would be silly to think that clients and providers never end up as lovers.  As far as only being in it for the money, most of us would not go to work unless someone paid us.  Besides among the so called regular people many find their Significant Others at work.

If you have any doubts about this there have been a number of threads of people who have had these types of relationships with a provider they met while working.

EOM

Maybe "falling in love" is too strong a term, but usually when I see a provider there is some chemistry there -- fun, friendship, attraction, lust, whatever.  The way I deal with it is to let her know that she is free to call me any time if she wants to.  Most girls don't, but some do, and we hook up on our own time.  Yes, I've "dated" providers.  It's just another way of meeting girls, as far as I'm concerned -- and a pretty good way, actually.  There's no reason to consider a girl "off limits" just because you met her through TER.  If she doesn't call you back, then you were probably just dreaming in the first place.  Let's face it, these girls can get any man they want.  I wouldn't feel too sorry for them.