As I was thinking about what separates a Good Provider from a Bad Provider I decided to jot down my thoughts (lucky all of you).

glad ur back ... lol

Posted By: Ridgetucky

As I was thinking about what separates a Good Provider from a Bad Provider I decided to jot down my thoughts (lucky all of you).  
   
 So here it goes  
   
 --------------------------------  
   
 You are Self-Absorbed  
 You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one who matters.  BTW that's a good thing.  Self absorption gives you confidence to become a Provider.  Otherwise I would just be jacking off to extreme porn  
   
 You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside  
 Your physical appearance isn’t what should matter, but people with questionable behaviors think that outer beauty is ALL that matters.  Hey, that's fine by me.  I am the King of this behavior.  I literally got a hard on this weekend as family members (who I haven't seen in years) kept telling me how good I look.  I mean who wants to fuck a fat ugly chick.  Well I have and I will but this ain't about me.  
   
 You Question Your Importance to Others  
 But this is the Pièce de résistance!!!!!!!!  Providers LOVE TO BE WANTED (albeit at a price) but they still love to be wanted.  And that is the cherry on top of a good Provider.  The EGO.  Some of these women literally (and figuratively) jump out of their panties when a guy pays them $300/400 to fuck em.  I mean that has to be the biggest endorphin rush of all time.  And the really good Providers live for it.  
   
 Cheer up gals.  The aforementioned traits should make all of you proud!!! And if it doesn't.  Oh well as my Mother used to say (and still does).  It could be worse  
   
 RT - Love ya  
   
 

and the last time I fucked her it looked like someone threw a bowl of cottage cheese on my dick.

I must agree.  And can Udo be far behind? I hope not

good provider shows up on time, or calls to let client know if she's going to be late.
A good provider takes care of her coochie. She does not make client puke and force him to make "dead wife" excuses.
A good provider does not run around the room in unpredictable frenzy where a kid with ADHD would be more predictable.
A good provider does not have animals in the room and does not enjoy having a cockateil on her head when I finish.
A good provider uses very accurate photos and does not try to bait and switch people.
A good provider does not NCNS & respond several days later.
A good provider does not make black list threats when a client writes what is obviously a true review that is an honest account of the session.
A good provider does not go bat shit crazy with nasty texts and colorful emails after he gives her an 8 in appearance and a 9 in performance.  
A good provider does not make up stories to assassin the character of a hobbyist after he walks out due to an obviously outrageously photo shopped pictures that look nothing like her
A good provider does not blame the client for her own irresponsible actions and behavior
A good provider gives the guy his full agreed on time  
A good provider does not text or even look at her phone during the session.  
A good provider acts like I'm the only important thing in the room that matters to her.
A good provider has mouth wash and fresh towel
A good provider keeps the bed sheets free of skid marks
Most importantly, a good provider gives D.A. plenty of off the clock fun.  

Then the band will truly be together once again

sharing is caring  

Posted By: Ridgetucky

and the last time I fucked her it looked like someone threw a bowl of cottage cheese on my dick.  
   
 But hey, I'm not complaining.    
   
 Well kinda the smell is awful.  Phew  
   
 

This from a nitwit who has never peeked "inside" himself to see if maybe somebody might be at home?!?! Amazing!
This can't be YOUR list. Who compiled these observations for you?

Posted By: Ridgetucky

As I was thinking about what separates a Good Provider from a Bad Provider I decided to jot down my thoughts (lucky all of you).  
   
 So here it goes  
   
 --------------------------------  
   
 You are Self-Absorbed  
 You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one who matters.  BTW that's a good thing.  Self absorption gives you confidence to become a Provider.  Otherwise I would just be jacking off to extreme porn  
   
 You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside  
 Your physical appearance isn’t what should matter, but people with questionable behaviors think that outer beauty is ALL that matters.  Hey, that's fine by me.  I am the King of this behavior.  I literally got a hard on this weekend as family members (who I haven't seen in years) kept telling me how good I look.  I mean who wants to fuck a fat ugly chick.  Well I have and I will but this ain't about me.  
   
 You Question Your Importance to Others  
 But this is the Pièce de résistance!!!!!!!!  Providers LOVE TO BE WANTED (albeit at a price) but they still love to be wanted.  And that is the cherry on top of a good Provider.  The EGO.  Some of these women literally (and figuratively) jump out of their panties when a guy pays them $300/400 to fuck em.  I mean that has to be the biggest endorphin rush of all time.  And the really good Providers live for it.  
   
 Cheer up gals.  The aforementioned traits should make all of you proud!!! And if it doesn't.  Oh well as my Mother used to say (and still does).  It could be worse  
   
 RT - Love ya  
   
 

Or is it a slow news day where you are located?  
   
Looks like you need to grow some balls and get away from the keyboard for a change.  
   
The Forest Waits

over and over in my head. Try it, it's funny. But your post is funny enough as is!

Steph

This was one of his funnier ones. I mean think about it. Hookers are on stage because of how they look not what is between their ears. At least that is what starts the transaction.  

The best providers are pretty on the outside/ugly on the inside, but can convince the customer otherwise.

and agree. Now, about mentioning my name, I need to see some money .

Now that is dumb.

Posted By: Ridgetucky

and the last time I fucked her it looked like someone threw a bowl of cottage cheese on my dick.  
   
 But hey, I'm not complaining.    
   
 Well kinda the smell is awful.  Phew  
   
 

Keep it up Fungy. I am riding this winner all the way to the bank. Cha Ching,

It really saddens me that one of my fellow providers would agree with such an asinine stereotype.  

I mean aren't all hobbyists ugly, sexually and socially inept  dolts who can't get laid but to pay for it? Now we know that is not true, well some are but not all.

UConn kicked UK's ass.

As you said, they have mirrors and can't believe any pretty young thing would fuck them for any amount of money.

These guys often masquerade as Capt save a ho's to cover up their shame, but they are usually pretty easy to spot. This board is full of them.

As for me, I know I am "not repulsive" and that's good enough for me. I have seen the look of relief a couple of times when a new lady has opened the door to let me in. I am happy to know what is going through her mind is "ok, this won't be too bad" I can live with that. lol

from the truth on that statement. 'Good' providers come from 'strong' family units in my belief. This job is challenging emotionally, physically sometimes and mentally. Without those 'strong' mama or papa instilled traits, forget it. Got nothing to do with 'daddy' issues, that I can assure you.

If YOU had OPed this thread it would be funny, tongue in cheek, insightful.
If I had OPed it, it would have been funny, tongue in cheek, insightful, and poetic.
When BT OPs the thread, it's just crass nonsense! -eos-

Thanks for agreeing AND the setup!