Roxy,

I realize you are asking the ladies for thier opinion but it seems to me that the answer to your next to last question is the answer to your last question.  It seems that the question that you must answer for yourself is 'What has more importance to me: avoidng a repeat of something very undesirable or getting good $'?

However, you do have the right to refuse to see whomever you like. Especially, if you think his is disrespectful or makes you uncomfortable.

My #1 Rule is "Always go with my gut". No matter how much money he promises, or how "okay" he seems when my internal alarms go off then it is a no go. Those instincts are there for a reason. To protect us.

Being that you posted at all, I think your instincts are telling you to back off and run in the other direction. And telling him straight out might just do the next lady a service. But be tactful. Your comments at first seemed good, but obviously he like control and is ignoring you. Tell him "No I will not see you." And if he asks why, then let him know that his behavior was rude and disrespectul.

If that doesn't work, then techinically he is stalking/harassing you. And that's a whole other matter.

Be safe and good luck.

-Vanica

Where do we start?
First - there is a huge transition from providing a "quickie" to becoming a GFE (no matter the time amount) - and it all has to do with attitude - both on the part of the hobbiest and on the part of the provider....   let's take you first, shall we?

You are a provider - and it sounds like you are not into GFE - bear in mind that GFE typically means kissing, DATY, BBBJ etc.  but it can also mean conversation, dinner, warm baths together.... and the illusion that you are not "Bolting" from the room, the minute that the paid for time is up, like the massage chairs at the airport lounge!  GFE means acting more like a well, "Girlfriend."  Have I ever had a lady act like a true "Girlfriend"??  no, they are all "Better!"  lol  From what you describe, you were not interested in providing the "total attitude"  but close enough, dinner, etc.  I have had "dates" where the lady calls the shots of when we eat... and where I have called the shots of when we eat!  and it works both ways... but for one of you to ignore the others expectations is rude.  Which brings us to him!

In setting up the proposed weekend in (gasp!) Cleveland!  did he agree to the R&R hall of fame?  did he agree for dinners?  etc.  I truly try to be accomodating when I make dates...and if I cannot accomodate, I will call back and tell the person...  

What he did was rude - for a civie or for a hobbiest!  I would tell him - "dude, sorry, but I would not be able to accomodate you again."  

Have I had anyone tell me that?  I'll never tell!!! lol... would that bother me?  yes.  would I want to know why? yes. Would I be "owed" an explanation?  no.  

Odd, but I have had both civilian and provider friends confide to me similar situations....

Now, why do I feel qualified to answer?  Because in both hobbying and civie dating... I have had similar results wrt what you describe... in civie... it was just too weird to continue and in the hobby, well, lets just say, "reviews - there are always reviews"!  

Odd, a provider friend and I were sharing civie dating stories... and she suggested a "civie review board" something like TER but for civilian ladies! lol!!!

Seriously, if you are that uncomfortable - you should pay attention to that warning feeling and tell him, in the words of "she whose name we cannot mention" to "bugger off"!  Wow, seems that she had a style that works for all occasions...

Good luck with this!

You've gotten through the hardest part and that's figuring out what his MO is. Now, you sit back and council yourself on how you're going to respond to each of his foul-mannered ways. Also, if he bugs you that much pre-arrange some along time for yourself over the weekend and tell him that it's a requirement. It's completely reasonable as we don't stayed tied to the hip when in our personal relationships right (minus those Sunday mornings where you just can't get enough of each other).

Sounds to me like he's a closet gimper waiting to be bossed around and dominated. Maybe try switching the roles around? I think it would be better to have him on his knees begging than any place else. ; )

He likes strong women? Give him to me . . .

I'll teach him manners and I'll spank him if he's bad. Wink! I'll also interrupt him while he's chosing my food and tell the waiter to ignore him and give me what I want. I'll say it with a smile like we're arguing like husband and wife. I'll still get what I want to eat and I'll tell him we're going to R&R Hall of Fame. Usually, though, I'll do pretty much what they want on the date. However, food is a different story. I'll fight to the end. Urgh!

All kidding aside, if he makes you feel uncomfortable and is a jerk, don't see him.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 6/14/2006 12:06:43 PM

Your psychological well being is much more important than anything this guy can give you.  I would say don't see him again

This guy sounds like an idiot. I can't imagine any hobbyist wanting to pursue an extended GFE relationship unless there is some semblance of chemistry to begin with. Any business relationship is still a relationship and involves more than the exchange of money. Politely decline. You'll feel better.

It costs too much to have a bad time for good money...

... unless YOU are into his sort of dysfunctional oddness.  I suspect you did not and would not enjoy time spent with this wack job - a less than life affirming experience.  Let him work out his issues with others of his ilk while you bask in the presence of those of us who just want to get you off while you get us off - then we can go to a fun restaurant and laugh and laugh at life's fine surprises.

I think he should save his money for a therapist.

You should politely decline his invitation or advances.  He sounds too unstable to risk being with.