I have been a very active member of this community for some time. One thing I count on when searching for a new or different provider are good and factual review. It seems to me that the definition of GFE has become somewhat vauge. Is it someone that allows DFK & DATY? Or is the definition someone who allows DFK, DATY and performs BBBJ.
Several of my recent encounters that were billed as GFE (DFK, DATY and performs BBBJ)proved to be bust. Please keep it real for those of us that enjoy a great BBBJ.
Thanks

Reefinition of GFE

Ahh...the GFE thing again. Well,just my opinion but first and foremost it's about attitude. Not only the provider but yours too. On a purely physical level here is how I define it. I've had girlfriends who don't like to give a BJ or DATY or perhaps not even f--- the later never lasted too long But I've never had a girlfriend who wouldn't kiss me, at least LFK. So that's the bottom line as I see it. I sometimes read these silly reviews saying she was gfe but wouldn't kiss. Please guys, have any of you ever had a girlfriend that didn't kiss you ? They can cover anything they want but not the lips.

-- Modified on 3/25/2004 6:58:12 PM

OPINION about what constitutes a GFE is the whole problem! st bart suggested a gfe scale and half the community scoffed (how DARE he presume....)

i'm not trying to be a dick (it just comes naturally but who cares what YOU think constitutes a perfect (GFE) session? the purpose of a review is for us guys to help each other out and let each other know what is available! it does NOT MATTER what GFE means as long as it means the SAME THING every time somebody uses the term!

however, since all girls advertise GFE; newbies cum if the girl just smiles at them (oh god, GFE! GFE!); and the rest of us type "GFE" based on our own subjective criteria - -

why do we ascribe any meaning to the term whatsoever?

What, no BJ or DATY and just some LFK? Man, I'd call that a BAD date rather than a girlfriend experience.

Reefinition of GFE

The definition of GFE is, and should be, what is written in a review. (but not the only thing written) You should be able by get an idea ABOUT what a GFE means to that provider from the objective data written in the reviews.

All of our experiences have led us to have different definitions of that standard, so to limit it to a scale eliminates or makes judgement on our own specific likes and dislikes.

A GFE experience to me has a totally different meaning to you. I would hate to see a provider get a lower score and all that comes with that "score", because I did not want or like a particular act. She would then be unfairly penalized. I think the score should be how the objective data made you feel.

IMHO, if you read beyond just the numbers, direct observation if you will, you will gain knowledge of what to expect. As I said up above, I think the score should be how the objective data made you feel, not how many letters you accopmlished.
-- Modified on 3/25/2004 8:24:26 PM

-- Modified on 3/25/2004 8:39:41 PM

Reefinition of GFE

IMHO I think GFE has little to do with the specific service provided. I feel it is both more tangible, and ethereal than that. To me, when the session is over, if you feel like you just spent time with someone who was your passionate girlfriend it is a GFE. If the illusion is maintained that she is there strictly because she likes and wants you, then it is a GFE. We all know that fantasy is what the truly remarkable provider is able to create. So to that end, while many may advertise GFE, few actually provide it. GFE is a feeling, an atmosphere that the great SP can create. It is the whole mood of the encounter.
In that regard I don't know how you could truly quantify a formula for what constitutes a GFE.

There is a lot of shorthand (ATF, GFE, BBBJ, DATY, DFK, MIC, KEY, MOUSE...) among the participants in the community, and most of it (IMO) depersonalizes the encounters we share.

When you're with someone you truly connect with, honestly and deeply...and there's chemistry regardless of what you're doing...THAT's a GFE.

Yoda

We shouldn't mention GFE because it doesn't have a precise definition.  Uh, what should we mention?  What makes up a great time for you is probably not exactly what makes a great time for me.  So "great time" is wholly subjective.  

By your logic, I should never say in a review that I had a great time.  Just list the acronyms and leave it at that.  Not!

Seems to me that most of this kind of complaint comes from guys too lazy to actually read the reviews, find out what went on, and draw their own conclusions.  Well, too bad.  The full truth is not just in the numbers.

You're a couple of men after me own heart.

I'm tired of all this touchy-feely, romantic, subjective nonsense.  If the term GFE is going to be used, there should be some kind of standard so that hobbyists can be guided and helped in terms of what to expect. And this would help keep providers honest and prevent a lot of bait and switch. If hobbyists cannot agree on a clear definition then the moderator or TER should define it.

I'm with the bears and Yoda on this one...  It's kind of like that Supreme Court saying, "I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it."

To me, GFE is an attitude... A willingness to engage you on a more personal, intimate level.  A willingness to invest more of their own personality into the meeting than others might.  This is easier for the provider when there's a real click...  The amazing provider is the one whose respect for you wanting to spend time with them is so great that they can pull off the true GFE atmosphere even without the click, and that aint easy.

There's a few other terms that seem to be used ambiguously here all the time...  I've seen three distinct, unrelated definitions of PSE used:
a.  PSE=Opposite of GFE;  Provider is emotionally distant, therefore the attention is more physically focused, therefore it's PSE.  In fact some characterize all meetings into one of two categories...it's either GFE or it's PSE.
b.  PSE=Session with an actual porn star, regardless of atmosphere.
c.  (My Definition) PSE = An atmosphere;  Rowdy,blunt playfulness, what I refer to as the "RBGCDDTE" or "Rowdy, Ball-Grabbing, Cum-Demanding, Dirty-Talking Experience."  ;^)

Another one is ATF...

ATF to some means "the providers I've had my best experiences with, no matter how often I see them or what our relationship."  Other use it to mean a regular provider that has become a personal friend, or even a provider with whom a long-term "sugar-daddy-like" arrangement has been made.

I disagree...

You're saying that we can't use GFE as a shorthand for specific activities unless we agree on the activity list.

Well, there's two ways to solve that problem...  Define the list, or, alternatively, agree not to use GFE as shorthand for those activities, and instead agree that it pertains only to the atmosphere.

Why can't we just agree that if DATY was offered, say DATY.  If BBBJ was offered, say BBBJ.  If DFK is OK, say DFK.  We don't have to further "encode" groups of services into sets of acronyms like GFE.

Let me hop on my non-PC soapbax here for a second.  As a society, we just simply waste too much friggin time trying to come up with cute ways to say things without saying what we really mean! [soapbox off]

I'm not sure what interest is served by compressing a couple of acronyms down to "GFE."  On the contrary, if GFE is going to mean specifically the activities, then we have to come up with a new shorthand term for "the atmosphere was very intimate and girlfriend-like.

And before someone argues for the case of brevity, I submit that equating GFE to activities actually lengthens reviews.  Assume a gal offeres DFK, DATY, BBBJ, and is "girlfriend like."   If I use GFE to mean "she provided a very intimate, girlfriend-like atmosphere", I could say:
   DATY; BBBJ; DFK; GFE.
and the salient points of my review are actually done.  Alternatively, the same description with GFE = activities:
   GFE; Provided a very intimate, girlfriend-like atmosphere.

Let me reiterate...  The problem of ambiguity can be solved by saying what we mean, without having to invent new phrases or redefine old ones.  If you're gettin bare-back noggin, then you're gettin BBBJ, not "partial GFE."

No, I'd call that bein' married.

Sorry I have to disagree as well. I do not think that GFE can be slapped on just any old definition. It is like art appreciated in different ways by different people. GFE-Girl Friend Experience. Well everyone's idea of a girlfriend is different. Some people use GF to describe a fun fuck buddy, some use it to describe the woman of thier dreams who stood by thier side for the last 8 years. To define it is simply to detract from the individual experience. I consider myself to be a GFE, though I have refused to kiss a few clients in my time due to lack of chemistry or poor hygiene does that mean that I do not provide GFE? Of course not. If you are going to define it then it should be a sensual passionate session involving a provider and a well groomed, hygenic, gentleman who is not a big meanie. You should also note that not everyone will have the same experience due to different chemistry or taste in general. Not to mention that as we are humans too (though we may preform like wonder woman under pressure) and if it isn't there for us we just try to do the best we can to make you happy. Unless of course you have terrible BO, Breathe, or Attitude...LOL Just another perspective from a Lady...

Reefinition of GFE

GFE is vague, it is not a concrete term, unlike say LATY or BBBJ, which tell you  the physical reality of what to expect.  Don't go by this term.  The key word in GFE is "experience"-- meaning here what the provider is able to create inside your head, no matter how she does it.  Perhaps your girlfriend always kissed, but what you really wanted from a girlfriend was enthusiastic Russian.  Which is going to feel like the GFE to you?    

If you want Greek, Russian, LATY, BBBJ or other things, you have to read for providers with reviews that have those things literally mentioned in the text, and perhaps more than one review that says it because people have been known to lie about sex.  

Far worse than using GFE, in my opinion, is a "services provided" section above the reviews that is literally untrue, or maybe true for the first client, and not for later clients, but the SP doesn't get revised.  When this says that she kisses on the lips, and she doesn't, you fill out the SP section and say she doesn't, you write a review that says she doesn't, and still right above your review is the SP that says she does, now that's misleading.  

PSE says you have a big dick while you're having sex.

GFE mentions this later, while you're chatting.

It all comes down to YMMV=your mile may vary. If she kisses someone else, and not you (just in general), then you know why

Mel

It is the whole package not just a laundry list of activities.
There are plenty of ladies who will go through the list of activies with you 2-3 times, but if it feels mechanical and like an assembly line is it really a GF experience? While I do agree that kissing may be a must, it's the feeling the lady leaves you with afterwards. If she can leave you feeling like a king and for that hour or two make you feel special, that is what I would consider GFE. But that is only my opinion. Have a nice day!

IF you are "tired of all this touchy-feely, romantic, subjective nonsense", then you don't want a GFE.So why does this bother you?

I couldn't agree with you more. Of course you have the right to refuse to kiss me or anyone you choose. By the way I'm told I smell pretty good I have to connect with someone before I consider it to be a GFE. To me this is a lot of things but mainly it's passion and a true warmth. Otherwise it's just an AAE (acronym,abbreviation experience) which sounds like what some of these guys are looking for. Which is fine for them but personally I would rather stay home and do it myself. I will stand by my orginal statement though. I noticed no one has said they have had a real girlfriend who refused to kiss. Despite the wise cracks I'm sure these guys have had one or two who didn't like BJ or DATY.

Reefinition of GFE

Very good analysis. My vast experience in dating and limited experience in the hobby, I would have to say that what is said and written is completely subjective. Many guys are here because this is the only place they can feel special, while other guys are here to get something more out of their sex life. Therefore, the guy who has the ability to date and see other types outside of the hobby probably have a different standard than the guy who is usually rejected outside the hobby. My experience has been, in the hobby, that none of the reviews have been acurate as to my definition of a GFE. But my experiences with those ladies rate as a GFE, because we made an attempt to connect. Never left unsatisified.

Different note, In setting up a meeting. The GFE attitude in a provider can usually be noted. Have tried to bond with several before a date. Due to there whatever, I decided not to pursue. If I have to pursue a provider like I would a woman outside the hobby, WHAT'S THE POINT!

Just my two cents

...Gee, nobody has EVER told me I have a large dick...I did have a girl ask me one time...just who do you think you are going to satisfy with that dick...my answer was...ME!

GFE does not always equal FS.
FS equals what most men construe as GFE.
GFE is a state of mind - The customers state of mind - Based upon what type of attitude the provider is giving.

GFE IS A STATE OF MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we should look at it for what it is. If we want the providers to be honest about GFE, then note that it is the warm fuzzy feelings they give off as they are providing FS.

Mechanical - Wheres the donation, regardless of FS- is not GFE.

Again, only my two cents

I understand what you are saying. I have had experiances where we shared something , DATY, DFK, whatever, but I read in reviews that these things weren't allowed with that SP. So it was clear to me that YMMV always applies when dealing with two people.

my message is NOT "do not use the term GFE" - it is "do not assume that the term means anything, because your GFE definition is probably different from mine".

my message is also that it would be nice if the term DID mean something concrete; every time a GFE question comes up on this board, the thread is eight miles long with guys arguing back and forth, lots of sarcasm, anger, and flaming...

we are supposed to be working together

definitely don't, and I wondered if some did..

to a blind man!

Whass it like?

C'mon no Monty P. Fans here?

Reefinition of GFE

Even pornstars don't always live up to their claims.
I've been with a few and only one turned out to be great.
I'm sorry to say that there is allot of airbrushing with some of these pornstars.
I've had great experiences with escorts who performed just like pornstars & even better.

Actually, Sedona, I read Que Pasa differently. Going back to a post you made a few months ago, his answer looks like it fit directly under tsk’s original post.

In other words:

Definition of GFE
Easy, Sedona=GFE.

To answer your question, Sedona, I would rather hear compliments about something I have control over.  

GFE isn't about acronyms at all.  All acronyms or none.  MasterYoda2 is right.  It's all about chemistry.

It comes down to this...

If a girl makes you feel like you might be able to get her for free because she is that into you...  That's a GFE.

I try not to use the term in my reviews and do not pay much attention to it when reading ads or reviews.  There is so much variance in what a provider or a hobbyist mean by the term that it is essentially useless.  Plus, as pointed out in other posts, a GFE experience for one person would suck for another.  Reviewers should focus on performance and personality characteristics of a provider that would cause them to either return or not return and forget about using short and cute, but fundamentally meaningless terms like GFE.

That's what a TRUE Girl Friend Experience is!!! (I am one *giggle*.)

Elise [email protected]

Well folks, thanks for the discussion. I feel a need to set the record straight on one issue, it ain't a hygiene problem. I shower before an encounter with any provider.
Also re. the comment that a GFE provides an atmosphere. How does one advertise being a GFE. I would suggest that the meaning goes deeper. It ain't the atmosphere.
Again, I will read the reviews, but how does one account for doing a search on BBBJ coming up with a list of providers and seeing one review that says she does another that says I requested a cover? Does she provide the service or not?

Again, thanks for the discussion,

TSK

Yes, YMM always V, and it probably did, and I'll maybe never know why.

Yet, there may be another possibility: that a guy who pays about $300 for a woman's time, and thoroughly enjoyed it, is probably not going to readily admit that he didn't kiss her on the lips.  This is not just his pride working. If he really liked her, and wants to give her a rocking review, then he can feel some generousity in exaggerating her services.  Also, there's the motivation that he doesn't want every provider to become this stringent, though he may not mind exceptions, he wants them to stay very exceptional.

Then again, perhaps my wanting to substitute PLAS (People Lie About Sex) for YMMV might be a case of JE (jealousy evasion).