before you even *think* about allowing yourself to fixate on any one
and then -
*don't* do it
by then you will have enough experience to realize why it is not in your best interest to do so
I'm relatively new to the hobby and was lucky enough to find the my fantasy girl first time out. She was newbie friendly, for the most part, and the service was great, great, great. BUT....here's my question- I've made arrangements on 2 seperate occassions now only to have her cancel on me litterally 2 minutes before appt time. Each time there's been an elaborate excuse of some sort. Is this her way of saying she doesn't want to see me again or is she simply rude and unprofessional. I want to be really, really pissed and post a review to warn other hobbyist in my area, but I don't want to do that if she just doesn't have the nerve to say, "not interested, find someone else." Hell, I can take that...what I can't take is phone calls at the last minute and b.s. stories! Anyone...??? Little help?
Drop her and move on, lots of fish in the sea.
Unless I know a woman VERY well, well enough that we do non-hobby things; I generally make what I would call "fail safe" assumptions.
Nobody every got in trouble for NOT calling, booking, or otherwise dealing with a woman. But lots and lots of trouble can ensue from contacting a woman who doesn't want your attention.
So the fail-safe assumption is that she doesn't want to deal with you.
HOWEVER, there are some mitigating factors that likely make the assumption invalid. Specifically, if she has bothered to book you at all, likely she had no issue with seeing you. Further, if she bothered with the elaborate excuse she likely wants you to try again.
But this is a somewhat no-win for her. Either you assume she doesn't want to see you and she loses a customer or you see her as massively disrespecting the value of YOUR time, and loses a customer.
There is really no way to know.
I've never had this happen; especially twice in a row; but if it happened to me I would likely make the most benign judgment -- that she simply didn't have the nerve to say she didn't want to see me -- and I'd let it go.
If she was all that and as you say was "great great great", I would guess that would be a glowing review.
Hard to be objective now that you are "really pissed", to write that review that once was glowing.
It could be that she "is jut not that into you" one part of your thinking, or things like someone else popped up that wanted multi-hour date so you loose. Yes it happens every day sadly. If she has stood you up twice already, it is time to move on. There are just waaaaaaaaay too many hot ladies out there as to get grounded with some chick who does not have it all together. Oh, and forget writing a review of the stand-ups, they are not dates thus no review would be accepted by TER.
You might try posting on your regional board, but I warn you the manginas and White Knights will be coming out in force to bitch-slap you around because first no review in the beginning and as manginas tend to feel you should have given her another 10 tries cause there just HAS to be some problem along the line. Could not possibly be because she is an airhead.
Move on! Providers are like buses, there will be another around the corner any minute.
Ya, you're exactly right Smarty101... I was definately going to review the first date because it was amazing. Just been too damn busy with my business I own....but still, no excuse. I own a business I know it's all about the benjamins, hell it is for my business too..so I get it if a more lucrative deal came up once...but damn- twice! Professional courtesy madates you make extra effort to not waste someones time again. It's just proper customer service.
Moving on.... Thanks!
before you even *think* about allowing yourself to fixate on any one
and then -
*don't* do it
by then you will have enough experience to realize why it is not in your best interest to do so
There are many legitimate ladies out there that RARELY cancel. It's called a hobby for a reason. Go out there and get your feet wet with a variety of ladies.
You may never know the real reason she has cancelled on you. It can be difficult to decline services to someone in the hobby. If she is new, she may just not know how to politely convey her lack of interest in seeing you again.
If she really wanted to see you again, she would have offered a freebie date or 1/2 off due to her backing out at the last minute.
Hang in there, good luck and I hope you get properly laid soon..
xoxo Di
Great advice, listen!!
we've all be there Mr. Mojo - I've been stood up many times w/o even the benefit of a phone call and some time ago I put up a post similar to yours.
You are getting good advice here:
a) it was most likely a business reason that she cancelled.
b) she is new to the biz and didn't know how to cancel gracefully - not an excuse but don't let it get to you. It happens but there are also many providers who are very professional about it. I had a lady cancel on me 2x and then make it up to me on the third try.
c) its natural that you are peeved but the advice to read some reviews and get a few more experiences under your belt is a good one. Meet a couple of quality providers and you will later laugh at how you could ever have let yourself not have fun in this hobby!
Thanks Di! No..she's not new, plenty of reviews. That's what I thought was coming next..."hey, I'll make it up to you I can't believe I'm having to cancel...blah, blah, blah..." Nope, nothing.
What's even more weird Di- she e-mailed me about a week after our first date!! Talking about "when can we get together again..." I think that's what pisses me off the most, she contacted me, I respond, she leaves me standing there with my...., she apologizes profusely, reschedules and then fu**** cancelled again!
My daddy always used to say- Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me. So Shame on me I guess.
I'm hangin'.....
Thanks,
If she didn't want to see you, she just wouldn't sit up an appointment, then risk you getting put off and saying something bad about her. She probably got a better offer, and dumped you. So, she just must be unprofessional or flaky. It's always far to report such behavior.
mattradd- "it's always 'far' to report such behavior"??????
big for this notebook keyboard
It's "always fair."
Ha, ha... I have the same problem with my bberry keyboard.
Hey, I don't even try on that
It has been said and you might as well hear it again-- find someone who wants your money. She's paid to perform a service and if she doesn't want to let you spend your benjamins with her, then spend them elsewhere. There is no zero sum game in play unless you're leaving out what you are saying or doing. Unless you smell bad, the only other reason ladies don't give you a dance card is stalker, needy, or boorish behavior. Since you are relatively new, learn it now: This is her business. She's not looking for love. She earns her living doing what she does. She'll find someone to replace you.
Ya I hear you Radcow. Its definately her court we're playing on...BUT...like was also said- if she don't want the green backs there's others who do. Negative on all the other variables though...I don't smell bad, not an a-hole, nothing like that. I did a LOT of research, a lot, before ever contacting anyone for my maiden voyage so I knew the etiquette going into it. This has all been very helpful...thanks everyone.
I think you spooked her somehow. I doubt that she doesn't need the money. Given that you sound like a decent guy, chalk it up to experience. Some ladies are flakes and the smallest of insults (real or perceived) make them a little nuts. Just pay and play and leave the drama to people who can't live without it.
It's interesting that you posted your question to the ladies - "Question for the ladies...." - and 10 of the first 18 replies were from guys. Do they not read or do they think that the ladies cannot speak for themselves?
Every Mangina in the TER universe answers it. Ever wonder why you morons are singled out as Manginas???? WTF???? Does a question like that get your estrogen boiling over so bad, you just start typing????
I'd be a total liar if I said I was shocked, but here is the biggest collection of people that accuse others of an inability to comprehend what they just read. I'm going to vomit now!
Sound familiar? All these gutless wonders and even their alias says they themselves are mangina's. I don't get it.
Is it manginas-R-us or is it Manginas-R-You... I'm confused. ROFLMFAO
Hope you did not get any puke on yourself. That would be nasty showing up at the incall with chunks of pizza and bread sticks all over your shit. OMFG!
Negotiate her rate?
Were you clean and smelling fresh?
Did you overstay your time and not compensate her for it?
Did you act or say anything to lead her to believe your were getting too cozy emotionally?
Those would be my first questions/thoughts; otherwise I would say she COULD be flakey, is a drug user, or she has a drama filled life? Dunno, we're not perfect...
Thanks