otherwise it is just too much!

this is occasioned by ana's post below in the other thread is started.

i'm in one of my more thoughtful moods. i've finally sorted out what went wrong _really_ (or so i think) in various recent train wrecks, provider and civy. so pardon if i refine a little more here.

i think most guys do like to be treated like a king ALL THE GODDAMNED TIME. but frankly it makes me uncomfortable unless it is a special occasion. and to be fair any woman who treats me like a king on occasion is going to have to suffer the reciprocal embarrassment of being treated like a queen.

basically i am most happy being treated as an equal. i don't need to be up on a pedestal unless it is playtime and then the lady will have to have her turn on a pedestal too. i think this is atypical.

i find that i enjoy companionship more when the staple is that we go into the encounters as equal partners more or less. i bring the money, she brings the honey and we work out the best possible encounter for the both of us.

this leaves me deeply satisfied and relaxed. my blood pressure drops like a rock for a week or two and i come back for more.

but then again i am an atypical habitue here so your mileage almost certainly is quite different (YMACIQD). LOL! a new acronym. catchy too. NOT!

i just pass. weird, huh?

but just like i am too tough to be impressed by stereotypical alpha-male behavior, i think too well of myself to need aristocratic or pseudo-aristocratic trappings.

all humans are worthy of honor for their humanness. that is nobility enough.

shit. i don't even have farewells, a glass of cognac, or Bruckner's 9th as an excuse this evening. LOL!

I don't want to be treated like a king -- I'm not a king last time I checked.

I just want to be treated as an equal and that's good enough. I book with providers I consider to be equals.

If I'm going to have a "girlfriend experience" it would be with the kind of person who I'd pick as a girlfriend -- not a servant, slave or paid help.

So ... a girlfriend might be really really nice to me, but she wouldn't treat me as though I were her vast social superior either. If she did, she wouldn't be my girlfriend very long.

mind that I continue to bow down and play with your sword...lol....

I agree that each person brings something of themselves into the encounter that is special to them. I myself like being a girfriend and find it easy to give and take in a more natural way. I'm not good with keeping track of time and like to let things flow with no real destination planned. This sometimes is bad if a gentleman has in his mind what he would like to do and doesn't tell me.

Kisses Haley

I have no problem being subserviant to a lady. As long as it's reciprocated! What comes around, goes around.

Know what I'm sayin'?!

It's give and take. Whether here or in civvie life.

JMHO.....

It takes rare people to truly want to have a relationship as equals.  Many people say it, but many of those people don't mean it when it comes down to it.  Most people in the general public feel much more comfortable with gender roles and with one leading and one following, usually in gender traditional areas.

I'm not saying there aren't plenty of exceptions...God knows, I have sought them out much of my life.  But the women I have known have often felt uncomfortable when a man encroached on their "areas of tradition", and I think many men are the same way.

I know you can be equal and still have roles.  But to me, equality is freedom, and freedom in a relationship does not ascribe to roles or limitations.

But that's just me.

Now you're talking crazy!!!

i've always been conscious of being in a very small minority especially among that demographic. but then i've been an atypical late middle aged white guy as long as i can remember. even when i was 2 or 3. LOL!

i like to improvise the roles. it has driven some providers to distraction who would like to have a more stereotypical client.

ironically too, relationships with exes and SOs also seemed to cease because EVENTUALLY more of some stereotype was desired than i could possibly deliver.

oh well.....

...and would never, ever, let me repeat...NEVER wish to be treated like a queen. i want to be appreciated, valued, definitely...but not placed on any sort of pedestal, no matter how temporary. i do not believe in relationships of "equals," i feel they are unnatural to harmony between man and woman, or frankly any human relationship. as a submissive woman also, i am very comfortable being viewed as a treasured servant, a devoted and obedient girlfriend.

but texcat you make a valid point, not all men are comfortable with this kind of attitude or outlook in a woman. your viewpoint is not as rare as you seem to think. most men in the hobby seem to desire a tit-for-tat, i please you, you please me type of relationship, and then there are some whose primary desire is to please and to almost worship a woman during their time together. it is a very unique man in this day and age who is comfortable being in the "top" position at all times, who can understand and appreciate a woman who is completely fulfilled and satisfied by pleasing them.

But the king loves to treat his queen like the queen she is. Some times the king has to be the King. It depends on the Kings mood and who's his Queen.

The more he gets to know his queen, the more comfortable he is being either being the KING or treating his queen like a QUEEN. That takes sessions to a new level.

To truely experience the 'mutual' physical pleasure,that should be everyone's goal,doesn't there need to be an 'emotional' connection? I don't desire to throw cold water on everyone here,but can we really achieve what is required to sincerely please one-another? Maybe!? It takes a very 'focused' couple(P4P) to be able to 'act' in the way necessary to do so. I HAVE enjoyed a small-handfull of dates that have left me feeling 'physiologically and emotionally' satisfied. There IS a small factor of ladies out there can 'provide' this experience. GOOD GRIEF! This is way too deep for me on a tue. morning.

i hear you. unfortunately i see no way for it to not get deeper as the week progresses.

i think i'm going to have to take a little hiatus and shut the f... up before i depress the boards with my pensive gloom....

but beyond that, it's a complicated formula.

I find my likes and dislikes vary with the skills and personality of the provider, in other words, I'm a moving target.

I also think that chemstry has an awful lot to do with it.  I know that I've been with gals who offered the same things, and did them well, but one I will go back to time and time again while the other I won't see again.

The only explanation I can come up with is the physical chemestry.  (Not the mental connection!)

i happen to be in one of my darker moods where being treated like a king would be a very good thing.

i promise you that on those special occasions when i want to be Lord of the Manor that your service will be accepted with appropriate value. i trust you will do as i ask and find meaning in that.

just be clear that i wouldn't be able to call you to the Castle every day and we'll be fine.

ironically too, relationships with exes and SOs also seemed to cease because EVENTUALLY more of some stereotype was desired than i could possibly deliver.

Especially the stereotype of being a provider and protector who provides everything and protects in all situations!!

Snownfire

Now I know...thanks.  Guess it makes them feel like a real boyfriend and an equal..(-:

Nothing wrong with a little(lot) of in-depth self-analsyis. I just need to wake-up before I attempt to respond as such!

It has something to do with that monstrously impressive set of reviews you have ... and when guys experience something like that live, they come back for more? (*grin*)