Would you be disappointed if a guy didn't go down on you?
For some reason, DATY seems so intimate to me and I tend to reserve it for my SO. Plus, it would seem to increase the STD risk of an encounter.
So how would you feel if your client didn't do DATY on you? I know the session is supposed to be about us, but are you let down if you don't get off this way? And if a lady is taking the lead and seems to indicate that it's time to go south, how does one politely decline?
...When someone doesn't force me to pretend it gets me off when it clearly doesn't and if it does its because I'm just "into" the person I'm with or its taken a good 30-45 minutes to get there.
The session is about you. Its fantastic when its fully interactive and I can have pleasure too, but for some of us the pleasure is genuinely in giving and showing how we can play.
to pretend, or fake it, or act like you enjoy something you dont. Most, unfortunately have come to expect the acting theatrics, as part of seeing a provider, but I dont think many of them actually care for it, much less ask for it, or force the acting/vocal theatrics, upon a provider.
I find this actually distracts more than just laying there. I will qualify though. This would be bad theatrics. I am sure some ladies fake it with me and maybe do a pretty good job, if not great. I salute and thank you.
If I think you're faking it, I'll say so. I always remember at the end of our session that this was P4P. Call me jaded, or whatever... and really, I'm just an engineer who analyzes the crap out of everything
There was ONE provider that I outright told, at the end of the session, I would not be seeing her again.
The reason why?
Because of all the "orgasms" she alleged I had given her.
Bullshit.
Yes, absolutely, because I try to see women I admire and respect as people; I will try to render to give the woman a pleasurable experience. Not only do I enjoy DATY; but sometimes, depending on the woman, I will do other things as well that are focused on her pleasure. I LIKE her, so I want her to feel good and enjoy my company.
HOWEVER, my ego isn't all tied up in this "giving a provider an orgasm" thing. I'll do what I can based upon feedback, etc.
I have APPRECIATED women who have given good feedback, or even told me "I don't mind you trying but I am anorgasmic." Wow!
That having been said, because I DO know how to spot a fake orgasm pretty well; there are often certain things I don't do just so that it is more difficult for me to tell. In this way I give the lady the benefit of the doubt.
But when little miss actress can't fool me even then; I won't see her for two reasons.
First, because she has mis-read me as someone whose ego needs stroked through lies.
Not a necessity but I prefer gentlemen to want to worship my kitty with his mouth, tongue and lips, as well as fingers, cock and toys!!! Kissez full of passion Sage
Anytime, anywhere, I will worship your kitty. Too bad I live far north of you, but I will be back to SD, hopefully sooner than later, to make your kitty purr.
but do not like to play the charade where the lady thinks she is doing something obligatory, or something for *me*, by assuming the spread position.....
If she does not really care to be licked I'd just as soon spend the time fucking
They do this for money. No lady is going to get upset if you don't want to go down on her. That doesn't mean that many don't enjoy it but the appointment is about what you and your wallet want.
No, I don't think it is expected... It's often available is the client would like. I've never felt pressured to do anything I didn't want to... Just direct the interest to activities you enjoy. skb
I won't DATY unless there is an indication that it is desired. Why waste energy? For many women, it's a pretty intimate act and she may only want it from certain partners. Same with anal and some other areas. I have a long time acquaintance in the hobby who is married and will only do anal with her hubby. Sometimes your ticket only pays for the laundry. Know who you are dealing with so you save a disappointment.
I love doing it. Yes, I know I am paying her to please me, but I really enjoy seeing her get off by virtue of my tongue and sometimes, fingers. Do I care if she expects it, no. If she does not want it, will I force my tongue on her, no. Will I be disappointed if she does not let me try to please her, HELL yes.
A side benefit for us older guys. If she has already got me to pop once, it gives me some recovery time other than just laying there and wondering how long till I can get it up again, before we try to coax number two. Oh, did I mention I just love eating pussy???? I guess that's the second side benefit for me.
Finally, I have not had any complaints on my techniques, so I guess they enjoy it too.....
I just plain enjoy it. I could do a whole date orally. Some of the best finishes I've had have been in 69. Guess it all depends on your outlook. Some guys see a hot lady with a great pair of legs and ass and say "man I'd love to fuck that". Personally I wanna eat it first! I've never had any complaints, and because I enjoy it so much, it just seems to be contageous, and she enjoys it that much more. If your doing it just to try to get her off, you probably wont. Kinda like the lady giving you a BJ, and you can tell she hates it..very mechanical, no effort put into it, not all that enjoyable. Now put a lady down there who really enjoys it, and enjoys seeing your body levitate off the bed, whole different story. Basically, if ya don't like it, don't do it...your partner will be able to tell!
and i know i am not the only woman who simply dislikes daty at anytime, from anyone, period. every woman is not the same, we are not all wired the same way or have the same erotic "buttons." personally there is NO sexual activity i find more uncomfortable, unpleasant and unarousing as daty. it is in complete opposition to my sexuality, both mentally and physically.
and for the OP, no we do not all "expect" daty. i hope a gent has zero interest in that area, and when he avoids daty, i am quite delighted! now, to your other question, if you have a provider who is on the aggressive side and trying to get you to daty...well why not put a stop to her forwardness and try taking the lead yourself? i let all my clients take the lead and direct how our time together will be spent. this way i can be ensured that he will be pleased to the maximum...and that is what this "hobby" is about after all...YOU. YOUR pleasure.
If she can provide a good BJ, then all the better. I have yet to take the plunge, so to speak, for CFS.
However, I doubt they really EXPECT DATY.... I am sure some hope for it, others not, and some will motor on either way...
I would actually hope that most providers don't have ANY expectations going into a session. Expectations are tricky and often messy things, but also necessary to a degree. Actually, it's our attachment to the expectations being met that is problematic, but that's a bit more philosophy than we need here...
Sure, everybody "expects" there will be some combination of BBBJ/CBJ, HJ, DATY, CFS, breast play, lissing (?), etc... In what kind of combination??? That's called cooking and it's fun.
having a date that didn't include DATY. Actually, I can. I had one, and it was a big disappointment. I love to eat pussy, and I've had a few dates that we both enjoyed the oral so much that it was the only activity we needed. Of course it wasn't non-stop, but several rounds of wonderful mutual satisfaction.
Enjoy it? I think most providers do but I have been with a few who do not. When they don't, I really prefer they say so. I enjoy giving orally, but mostly because I think she enjoys it; if she doesn't I'd rather use that time doing something else that we can both enjoy.
I know lots of women DO enjoy it, at least the couple ones who agree to stay a while longer if we do more DATY. I haven't turned down any of those offers yet!
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now, to your other question, if you have a provider who is on the aggressive side and trying to get you to daty...well why not put a stop to her forwardness and try taking the lead yourself? i let all my clients take the lead and direct how our time together will be spent. this way i can be ensured that he will be pleased to the maximum...and that is what this "hobby" is about after all...YOU. YOUR pleasure.