Ladies, if a gent has multiple loving reviews, has been white listed, but has a DNS, what would decide if he contacted you?
I would go with my gut instinct, and base my decision on my own interaction with him.
Clients are just like Providers YMMV...I would also go with my instinct.
Every situation is different. If he has several loving reviews, white list etc...but only one DNS I would delve further. Usualy, in most cases a DNS is enough for me to take a pass. Did he receive the DNS before or after all the reviews. What are the specifics. It could be as simple as a pissed off provider. Sadly some providers will do that just because a gent canceled last minute or something equaly innocent, albeit annoying. I would research it and as Sins said, make a decision based on that and instinct.
If a guy like that happened to contact me (and I'm sure I've been contacted by one or several. A lot of negative experiences don't get reported), I'd more than likely contact the lady who gave him the DNS to get more info on it. There might have been a misunderstanding or something. You never know.
Like SinsOfTheFlesh, I'd also base my decision on my interaction with him.
what is the DNS for? If a lady said he was on her DNS for something like disease, violent behavior, LE, etc... there'd be no way in hell I'd see him.
If he was on there as a no call/no show, I might go see him if I had some spare time(as I do outcall only) but if he didn't pick up the phone to verify he's home as I was on my way out the door, I wouldn't go see him. I'd stay at home and then I'd add him to my DNS list as well.
Katie
I think we all deserve to have the benefit of the doubt 
Some think that a N/S is a good reason to put someone on a DNS, I do not. Now if he was a dangerous client, that is a different story!
Kelly
-- Modified on 1/28/2008 6:14:47 PM
Same here. I'd check into it more thoroughly.
Awhile back I saw someone with great references. He short paid me and never made good on it. When I posted about it in a few caution lists, others defended him as never having done that before and that is fine but I still reported it in a few caution lists. Lo and behold another companion saw him, having not paid any mind to my caution post and he burned her also. She saw him possibly because he had so many good references. Maybe she did not even check the caution list, but after the fact she responded to my post saying she wished she had called me. I was thinking maybe I was just the one exception and maybe he would not do that to someone else, it is up to the companion to go with her gut on it.
XoXoXo,
Cheyenna
Last week I was with a provider who shared an experience she had recently with one of her "regular" clients. This was a man she had seen ten or twelve times in the past few months and he had always been a gentleman with her.
This time however, something set him off. He demanded some items "off the menu" (CIM and Greek) and when she refused he began to beat her with his fists on the face and ribs. He then attempted BBFS.
It was then when she began to cry begging him to stop that he finally stopped (short of the BBFS). She ended up in the hospital for X-rays to make sure she did not have any broken ribs.
This was a guy who has many reviews, a guy who was always a gentleman on his prior visits, but also a guy who just totally went over the line.
Being a guy of course all I can do is get angry when I heard the story, but if I was a provider and saw a potential guy had a DNS, I would not want to take a chance.
One DNS and no way. I won't see you. I don't need to go scraping for clients. My book is full of great guys who have never been on a black list. Why should I put any extra effort in just so you can still play? Hell no!
Sorry to sound so beligerent but the DNS list is in place for my safety and I'll take it seriously. I always opt to agree with another provider before I side with a gent. Sorry to say, but my safety is at hand here.
If you think there's an issue and you found out you were on some black list.. which... it would be interesting to know how you know you are on one... maybe you could take it up with the provider who placed you there. Let some time pass and then ask her if there is anything you can do to make her feel at ease so that she'll take you off and try to rectify the situation.
Otherwise, lucky for you, some of the girls are willing to go around the DNS list and "find out for themselves"... I'm not willing to take that risk.
-- Modified on 1/28/2008 5:57:56 PM
Just because I choose to maybe....and I say maybe give a gent that is on a dns list the benefit of the doubt, does NOT mean I am 'scraping for clients' as you say. I too have a full dance card. All I was saying was there are sometimes where a gent could have been put there for insufficiant reasons. I DO NOT scrape for clients now nor have I ever. We all make decisions that work best for us and us alone. I don't degrade someone else who chooses to do something differently.
I know it's an invasion of privacy and all but if I were a provider, I think I would like the added safety of having the client drug tested just prior to the session. I'm wondering if that might be what happened in your example; that the guy had a bad trip of some sort.
to warn others, there's good reason.
Its not worth 300.00/600.00 to second guess.
Whenever I've taken risks, I've regretted it.
Sorry for offending you Meow! I was not meaning to.
It did make me angry though that we set up these black lists FOR A REASON!!! and it sounded like some of the girls don't take them very seriously.
By saying, as a provider, that you would investigate it further, or go with your own judgement after meeting a fellow, implies... in my eyes.... that it isn't a serious matter if a gent is placed on THE List.
Even if that is how you operate, I don't think it does any good for the general hobbyist population to know that. It could give the impression that it's no big deal to get on the list.
I posted in haste, xxmeowbabyxx. Not thinking that any of the girls would take it personally. I will retract that statement... "scrape for clients"
and simply say.... No. If you are on a DNS list then you will not be seen by me.
I only wish that every provider could say the same thing. That way there might be some hope, some semblance of us providers really sticking together to help eachother out, really making a concentrated effort to end violence toward other women. If we could make more of a united front... at least in the public eye... maybe these DNS lists would do a whole lot more good.
Obviously, my rash comments from my post before could have been less harsh. Please accept my apology. And, yes, run your business the way you see fit. I just... I just wish it were different. That's all.
That's a scary story. Makes me sick to my stomach actually. Hope the dude got assault/battery charges, and a cold cell for a few nights AT LEAST.
-M
I appreciate your apology and that it was sincere. Please understand, I do not make light of DNS lists. I have been doing this a very long time and have seen my fair share of things I wish I hadn't. So please believe me I am very thankful for our resourses. The point I was trying to make is that I know, as well as you know that there are providers out there that mis-use the blacklists. For many reasons. One I know of would black list a gents if they saw someone else. In most instances if someone is on a DNS list I pass. If it is a gent that is well known in the hobby community, has good refs from reputable providers and then has this one black mark....I'm just saying it is a possiblity it is undeserved. Yes, I believe safety is of the upmost importance. As well as having forums for providers to have a safe haven, that is above all most important. For the most part, DNS lists are our bibles, occasionaly though one slips through. Like I said, I've been doing this a very long time and haven't had a problem of any kind in over ten years. I guess I'm doing something right lol. Again, thank you for your apology, it means a lot.
Holly
Your lady friend should definitely put the slimeball on every DNS list she knows of. Attempted BBFS after striking her several times hard enough to require medical attention? The next lady he sees may not be able to talk him out of it...which makes this dude a potential rapist. The ladies need to know about this putz...please urge your friend to expose the a**-hole!
-- Modified on 1/28/2008 11:10:24 PM
They deny some ladies accessto it.
I was not excepted to that board after trying for a year.
This business is full of back stabbers and women who do not care for someone they feel is competition.
Of course a lot of women are that way and I would say it is much worse in the civvie world from what I have seen.
I haven't tried to tell anyone not to see a DC hobbyist even though he threatened me and tried to exploit me.
I think he is an asshole with bad hygiene but I wouldn't put someone on the list just for that even though he tried to use his status on TER to hurt my business after I refused to give him a big discount.
Should I have tried to report him for that list?
Alot depends on the reason for the DNS. If the lady reported that the guy got in any way violent with her, then I would absolutely not see him no matter how nice he seems in our communication.
But knowing my gender well, I know full well that men are placed on a DNS list as petty revenge for imagined slights. Any woman who doesn't believe that happens sometimes is naive. So if I'm looking at a DNS notice for a guy because he NCNS'ed a girl, but he also has a good referrence and a list of reviews, then I'm going to let my own interaction with him be the guide on whether I see him.
We all make mistakes, and deserve a second chance sometimes.
Not everyone is like me. : )
Sure he deserves a second chance.... just not on my time.
Thank you ladies for your thoughtful replies. No, I am not on a DNS list, but then again how would I know? Disquieting to say the least. Most of your replies were conscientious and not accusative, simply precautionary. Some were absolutely DNS, some were I'd check it out further. The replies that were the most disturbing were the ones that explicitly stated, "accused, tried, convicted, no appeal." A vindictive provider is tough to defend. Again, I thank you. Hope it never happens to me.
if it's for something like the guy's a timewaster, those guys do come through for some girls, so it all depends.
If it's a more serious infraction, then I avoid the guy altogether.
Like I answered, it all depends...
Katie
I would imagine you are on quite a few DNS lists after that one post about the provider and your back channel pming. Did you think that went over well? In your backchannel pming you revealed your true identity and you made yourself the subject of speculations. I would imagine you are DEFINITELY on some girls' DNS lists.
Katie
Once again, Meow, you took the words out of my mouth..
Kari~~