For those that repeat visits to a provider, instead of being a serial adventurer 😉, why is it that chemistry with some providers seems to get worse as you repeat, as opposed to getting more comfortable and exciting?

Dont platonic relationships have that happen to them as well? Or trips to your fave restaurant? lol. How many times have you said  (fill in name of restaurant here) has gone down hill? Sometimes it's just a case of the girl had a bad day or maybe I did and that is the reason as to why the chemistry is off after the first date.  
For me, the third date is key. If I had one great date, and one so so date, I like to go back for the third to see if one of the previous dates was an outlier.
If I want to see her a forth time, I'll probably want to see her many more. If I dont want a fourth date, I know I am done pursuing her.

I get bored after the third date. But that's just me.
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However, there are several reasons why a provider could get less excited.  Firstly it's just natural to be more excited in the novelty of a first meeting.  Secondly, what if a provider doesn't really like something about you, or is just meh.  They're going to have a "grass is greener" mentality where they'd rather be seeing someone new, rather than repeating with you.
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Or maybe they're similar to me, no matter who, they get bored after the first few times.

Not sure if you're making a comment about something you don't actually do yourself and don't understand why others might or if you're saying that is what is happening to you and wondering why it happens. Answers will be different depending on what you're actually asking.

It's why some providers become ATF's who I have seen for years and miss terribly when they leave the hobby, while other you see once or twice and decide you will never visit again.  It isn't any different than social life in general.

"They're going to have a "grass is greener" mentality where they'd rather be seeing someone new, rather than repeating with you.": This is very much what happened to me with my last atf. Or the possible explanation. Now blocked and ghosted me after years of having repeats.   " Secondly, what if a provider doesn't really like something about you, or is just meh." : maybe this too.

But it is futile to try and understand it.   Just go with it, and you'll do better than trying to figure it out.

when the chemistry and comfort level improves with repeat sessions, or at least stays the same if they were already high.  I’ve seen some providers for years (one over 100 times), and it’s not because I couldn’t see other providers (which I do… I’m a hybrid repeater + adventurer).

 
As for excitement, it’s a different kind of excitement seeing a provider I know well, and who knows me well.  There’s the excitement of anticipation because I’m sure I’m going to have a really good time. I don’t have to worry about screening, finding her place, worrying about whether she’ll be an NCNS or a disappointment, etc. I can focus on just having fun. Likewise, the provider doesn’t have to worry about the uncertainties of a new client.

 
And there’s ways to keep repeat sessions fresh and exciting, with some imagination from one or both parties. For example, we can try new positions or toys. Just yesterday, the provider I’ve seen over 100 times surprised me with a move she hadn’t done with me before. And the chemistry and comfort were still great.

 
If your repeat sessions aren’t getting more comfortable and exciting, have you asked yourself if there’s anything YOU could do about it?

@fjchpr For some SPs, there is no incentive to put effort for repeat customers. It's like a regular customer in a restaurant. The customer comes back no matter what. Why don't I just give me some leftovers from 3 nights ago. He doesn't mind. He's going to come back anyways.

Seeing someone new is always exciting but there are a lot of unknowns too. And I get kind of nervous before a first time meeting but that adds to the excitement.

 
I have the best times with ladies I've seen a lot of, plus we both learn over time what each others likes and dislikes are and that makes for some great experiences..

I only repeat when a session is amazing.  Consequently when I repeat continuously, it just gets better and better and the chemistry (without crossing the line) improves as well.

END OF MESSAGE

second session with a new provider is usually the best, because you are both past the natural awkwardness of a first meeting and she is happy that you chose to repeat with her and wants to convince you by word and deed that you made a good choice.  

 
However, after three or four meets, she thinks you are committed to her and she doesn't have to work that hard to keep you coming.  When this happens to me, I simply take a break.  If I have been seeing her weekly or bi-weekly and I skip two sessions, they will invariably reach out to me and ask me if I'M okay and why I haven't been coming.  I will tell them that lately, I have been getting the impression that she is tired of me because I have noticed she is not putting as much effort into our time together as she used to, but I thought she was just being kind by not telling me I should not come anymore, so I took it on myself to just leave gracefully with no drama.  If I thought it was going to be as exciting as when we first started together, I would still be coming.  Then they give me some excuse that they've had some things going on in their lives which IS NOW RESOLVED, and if I start coming back they will give me the service and attention that I want. They apologize for my recent disappointments and say it won't happen again if I will start seeing her again.  

 
If she really wants your business, you only have to do this once and it's good for as long as YOU want to see her.  If she does slack off again, which sometimes happens, you can do it again, but casual reminders work better.  If you feel the service is slipping, just ask if she's okay or is having some problems again, because she didn't seem focused on your session today.  It's human nature to be lazy, and if they think they have a lock on your business, you will not get the service you deserve over the long haul.  

-- Modified on 8/20/2023 10:05:45 PM

"Second session with a new provider is usually the best" - My experience exactly

+2

I think it only works with some minority of client guys. On providers only boards, providers often discuss with each other they do not like the majority of their clients. And are only repeating for the business if the client is safe or behaved enough. They do not want to even get off with most clients and just doing their work pretending to.

So of course you and others who feel this way, because you've had atfs or even relationships with providers with good mutual chemistry of being part of this special minority. While the majority of clients never have real chemistry , and only the fakery and varied quality of meetings from the provider for however long the repeats go on.

I agree.

Yeah--a couple of providers who seemed to try less and less each time I saw them. It's as if they knew I was hooked and so they didn't have to try hard anymore. Boredom? Taking me for granted? Loss of interest in P4P generally (there were a couple who seemed to be developing substance abuse problems)? Who knows. After a couple of lackluster dates, I put them in the rear view mirror for good.

I'm happy to report they were the exceptions. BITOD there was a lady I saw at least 30 times (probably more like 50) spread out over a couple of years. Fantastic every single time. Only stopped because she quit P4P. My current fave is coming up on play date number 30 or so.

I've had similar luck with duos. There was one pair I saw together about 8 times and each lady separately 15 or 20 times apiece. They, and a handful of others like them, brought their A game every time.

I wish I could claim I have a magic formula. But I think mostly I've just been a discriminating consumer and a lucky bastard.

-- Modified on 8/23/2023 8:08:24 AM

I haven't played the game in a while but I seem to recall meeting with a couple girls more than once. I guess its that they are more comfortable and therefore less likely to hide their weird little habits or strange opinions, so the quality degrades over time. In that sense escorts are like every other woman, they put on a nice show at first to impress, hoping you will like them, and then slowly open up about all the negative things, assuming you won't back off.
I never had to quit on a girl but I've heard horror stories about women sharing too much or doing weird stuff, like telling their customers about details in their lives, bad details, the kinds of things which might make a sane man want to avoid her in the future.

For my experiences I learned its good to see a girl repeatedly as she gets more comfortable with me which means more likely to trust me. One girl let me try Greek even though she never put it on the menu. She was just that safe with me, or rather felt safe, and she was willing to experiment.

I have a regular been seeing her for around 6 months multi day stays etc. Unfortunately, she’s becoming like a comfy girlfriend instead of the professional I enjoy. The little things add up and it’s becoming time to move on or an extended break.

If what you’re after is the novelty, it’s never as good as the first time. After that, you’re chasing the rush.

If what you’re after a reduction in inhibition, the second time will likely be the tell. There’s probably not going to be any big surprises in terms of boundaries after that (unless things evolve into a different, more regular/exclusive dynamic).

If you’re looking for familiarity, I think it takes at least three visits, and those visits have “best by” dates. If you take too long in between visits, your face may be familiar but that will be about it.

I’ve been in this hobby off and on for over 30 years (I went to my first AMP in undergrad), and I can count those ladies whom I’ve visited thrice or more on one hand. Only my local ATF more than half a dozen times.  She wowed me from the first visit, and won my loyalty (and I’d like to think I earned some of hers as well). She gave me a different contact number than advertised, saw me on short notice and outside of her scheduled days and times, and did things that showed me she remembered my particularities. She retired, and I still think of her often and fondly. I’m also realistic enough to know that the remembrance is almost assured not to be mutual.

So, my hobbying now tends to focus on the first or second encounter dynamics. But I’m always open to someone joining the tier above. I just don’t expect it.