I'm an outcall provider. I have a regular who found me years ago through an agency and has continued to see me as an independent. I have raised my rates and time minimums, but have grandfathered him and will book a hotel room for us when he wants to see me. I do it because he is a nice guy and usually it's convenient for us both.
This week, as usual, I booked a hotel through priceline at a significant discount. When I book a hotel, it is only for his discounted 1-hour appointment. I travel 1 hour each way, opt out of other day work I can get, put aside my productive work. For the past year, everything has worked out fine and I've checked in at 11am no problem. But that day, the hotel was sold out the night before and the room was not ready until 2pm. Our meeting was at 12. He had driven down but didn't want to stay until 2pm (he could have but there was nothing around to do, and I told him I understood). We were both inconvenienced. So I agreed to meet him the next day at a location much closer to him (but 45 minutes farther for me) at 12pm again. I told him I'd give him an extra $100 discount for his trouble. So I ate the cost of room and gas and went home. So the next day same thing. I book a hotel where I think is convenient to him. I drive there, very far from me, they were sold out the night before and can't check me in till 2pm. Again I am forced to eat the hotel costs plus gas/tolls, and he can't come. He said that it was closer to him, but he was the OTHER direction from the area he mentioned (I don't know where he lives and just booked the general location he told me). I tried to text some other clients (I hated doing that) but it was too short notice for them.
Thing is, I am going through some personal problems (was stalked and outed) and can't advertise. My income has been decimated. I had a slight cushion before all the hotels/driving, and now am down to $36 for the next week until I have an extended appointment with another regular. He knows my situation and knows I am not advertising. But he actually asked me to pay full price for the hotel (he thought paying full price would allow me to check in on time, which it wouldn't - the hotels were simply sold out the night before). If I did that, it would not be profitable for me or worth all the time and driving.
This guy is used to touring girls and doesn't understand the trouble I am going through for him. He knows I book the room for him only, but he doesn't GET that it's not always possible to check in at 12, and that touring girls who can accommodate him at that time have the room for a few days. He doesn't GET that it is ridiculous (I think) to expect me to pay full price for the room when I am driving so far and have no one else to see there. He likes me being low-volume, but at the same time wants everything convenient for him just like a touring girl would do. I feel a bit angry because I tried to do things for his convenience, and ended up getting put in a very bad spot financially, that I MAJORLY can't afford to be in.
He wants to see me again in a two weeks. At this point, I would rather have guaranteed day work income than lose more $ when I have no idea it will can replaced (again, I am not able to advertise). I want to tell him in some way how much he has put me out (including the cost of lost day work, about $400 total, plus time I could have been doing more productive things than driving and waiting in hotel lobbies, also I needed the money i spend on him to advertise my legit business) and make him understand that if I continue booking a room JUST for him, that he needs to understand the limitations. Like, NO full price rooms, NO 12pm check-in unless he accepts the possibility that we may have to wait.
If he feels that it's too much to ask, I honestly don't want to see him again. It's not worth it to me to go through all that risk and trouble to make very little money.
This guy seems mad at ME (maybe some of you will agree). He didn't even answer a text I sent telling him when the room was ready. That's fine, I'd like to hear all viewpoints because I like him as a person and want to deal with the situation tactfully. I get that it's a business and it's normal for him to expect things to run smoothly. But still. I'm fine with telling him no more even though I need every penny I can get right now, because I don't want to lose any more money than I have already and I don't like feeling angry.
I can't let things rest the way they are, I feel that I need to say something. If you were in this guy's situation, what would you want the girl to say to you? How would you handle things with her?
for getting the room the second day! I would be very open with him, and explain that you can't take the time to drive that far and spend the money, but you really want to see him (and you're already giving him a discount and giving up time at your other job). If he can't come up with a good compromise, than I would thank him for the wonderful times together and suggest he try to find someone closer/touring.
I know it sucks, but your goal is NOT to lose money....... Good luck!!!
You only make it one when you over think.
Are you in business?
In business, do you continually pursue transactions that cost you money?
In business, sometimes you do eat a cost to maintain goodwill with a good customer. Is that the situation here, or will eating costs bankrupt you?
Whenever I hear a long, logical explanation of one side of a story, I immediately think "Ah, is this the first truly 100% one-sided situation ever, or does it still hold true that there are two sides to every story?" And so I wonder what his story would be. Does he know all of these details? Does he know about the costs you have eaten? Does he know how far out of your way you go? How much do you charge him, and is it a drop in the bucket for him or does he have to stretch a bit?
If he doesn't, then all he sees is a provider changing times, changing plans, etc. And maybe you've made it soooo convenient for him up until now, that he sees it as some kind of flake on your part. Unfortunately, any attempt you make to explain and justify will probably go unheard.
On the other hand, if he does know the whole story, and he does have plenty of money, then he is a selfish prick who is taking advantage of your time and effort, and should be kicked to the curb.
Either way, it's not a dilemma.
...no one had posted when I began typing!
Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly
So yes, he knows how far I drive, he knows I give him a discount (mid-range hour, in line with the other girls he sees but below my time minimum & current rate). I kept him aware of what was going on as far as problems with checking in, so he knew I booked the hotel just for him, was there and not able to check in, and wasn't just changing times on him. He is not super-rich, but comfortable. He knows I am not able to advertise but is not aware of my financial difficulties.
I don't talk about problems/difficulties making arrangements with clients because it detracts from their experience. My job is to show up and make it look like I waited all day just for them. So that's part of the reason he's not aware. He's a nice guy. But the other day, it bit me in the ass, so I want him to GET it and that's where my dilemma is...how to make him GET it tactfully.
@Beauty, I totally understand your point about the 12pm check-in, and how I can't really expect him to understand that it's troublesome when I've always done that for him. It's precisely for that reason that I did offer to make it up the next day and told him to go on home and that I understood, etc. However, for a discounted 1 hour, it is simply not feasible for me to book full-rate (difference is about $100), or book a day and do a late check out for extra fee. These hotels are not close to me, either.
If I have to book a hotel full rate to make this happen, it's not happening. It just wouldn't be worth the time and money for me.
.....and while I have empathy for the situation you are in, I think you are being a bit harsh.
Early check in and late check out, are two reasons I do not use consolidation sites. I book directly through the hotel, and always speak with in room reservations the night before, to get a handle of occupancy, and check in time.
If you are going to meet one gentleman, booking a noon call is, as you now know, not a great idea. If you choose to do this in the future, I would suggest calling the hotel of your choice, the day of your date, and see if you can get an early check in, if not do not book with them, and find another. Just tell them that you need to refresh before a business luncheon. Or, book a day early, and offer to pay half for a late check out. Most hotels will just give you the late check out. You are contradicting yourself, when you say that you can usually check in at 11, but HE should know you can rarely check in before noon.
Your other option is to ask for a deposit from the gentleman, equal to the cost of your hotel and gas.
Just my .02.
Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly
Posted By: tg_baby
I'm an outcall provider. I have a regular who found me years ago through an agency and has continued to see me as an independent. I have raised my rates and time minimums, but have grandfathered him and will book a hotel room for us when he wants to see me. I do it because he is a nice guy and usually it's convenient for us both.
This week, as usual, I booked a hotel through priceline at a significant discount. When I book a hotel, it is only for his discounted 1-hour appointment. I travel 1 hour each way, opt out of other day work I can get, put aside my productive work. For the past year, everything has worked out fine and I've checked in at 11am no problem. But that day, the hotel was sold out the night before and the room was not ready until 2pm. Our meeting was at 12. He had driven down but didn't want to stay until 2pm (he could have but there was nothing around to do, and I told him I understood). We were both inconvenienced. So I agreed to meet him the next day at a location much closer to him (but 45 minutes farther for me) at 12pm again. I told him I'd give him an extra $100 discount for his trouble. So I ate the cost of room and gas and went home. So the next day same thing. I book a hotel where I think is convenient to him. I drive there, very far from me, they were sold out the night before and can't check me in till 2pm. Again I am forced to eat the hotel costs plus gas/tolls, and he can't come. He said that it was closer to him, but he was the OTHER direction from the area he mentioned (I don't know where he lives and just booked the general location he told me). I tried to text some other clients (I hated doing that) but it was too short notice for them.
Thing is, I am going through some personal problems (was stalked and outed) and can't advertise. My income has been decimated. I had a slight cushion before all the hotels/driving, and now am down to $36 for the next week until I have an extended appointment with another regular. He knows my situation and knows I am not advertising. But he actually asked me to pay full price for the hotel (he thought paying full price would allow me to check in on time, which it wouldn't - the hotels were simply sold out the night before). If I did that, it would not be profitable for me or worth all the time and driving.
This guy is used to touring girls and doesn't understand the trouble I am going through for him. He knows I book the room for him only, but he doesn't GET that it's not always possible to check in at 12, and that touring girls who can accommodate him at that time have the room for a few days. He doesn't GET that it is ridiculous (I think) to expect me to pay full price for the room when I am driving so far and have no one else to see there. He likes me being low-volume, but at the same time wants everything convenient for him just like a touring girl would do. I feel a bit angry because I tried to do things for his convenience, and ended up getting put in a very bad spot financially, that I MAJORLY can't afford to be in.
He wants to see me again in a two weeks. At this point, I would rather have guaranteed day work income than lose more $ when I have no idea it will can replaced (again, I am not able to advertise). I want to tell him in some way how much he has put me out (including the cost of lost day work, about $400 total, plus time I could have been doing more productive things than driving and waiting in hotel lobbies, also I needed the money i spend on him to advertise my legit business) and make him understand that if I continue booking a room JUST for him, that he needs to understand the limitations. Like, NO full price rooms, NO 12pm check-in unless he accepts the possibility that we may have to wait.
If he feels that it's too much to ask, I honestly don't want to see him again. It's not worth it to me to go through all that risk and trouble to make very little money.
This guy seems mad at ME (maybe some of you will agree). He didn't even answer a text I sent telling him when the room was ready. That's fine, I'd like to hear all viewpoints because I like him as a person and want to deal with the situation tactfully. I get that it's a business and it's normal for him to expect things to run smoothly. But still. I'm fine with telling him no more even though I need every penny I can get right now, because I don't want to lose any more money than I have already and I don't like feeling angry.
I can't let things rest the way they are, I feel that I need to say something. If you were in this guy's situation, what would you want the girl to say to you? How would you handle things with her?
Kick him to the curb.....
Check in times are written in bold print and are usually never before 2 p.m. Yes, if there is a room ready when you arrive some hotels will let you check in...makes no difference where you book through. If there is no room ready, there is no room. In tne future, I would not schedule a 12 p.m. unless the guy has a room secured...end of story.
If your income has been cut, I would suggest getting another job outside of this business...there are tons of them. I would not see this 'great regular' unless he made up for the time and money you spent upfront. Let him find someone else to bend over backwards.
As for you being harsh, wtf ever. Let another provider deal with the bs if she wants to. I don't get paid to put up with that kind of shit, nor do many of the women I associate with. If someone needs a dime that bad, well yea...I guess they would do whatever lol. You might also try placing an ad for the area he is in the next time this crap happens. Book the hotel for 2 days and get in the night before.
That way, you have that night and all the next day and night, to see another guy or 2 and make up for your costs. I would never...NEVER drive 10 min. much less rent a room for anyone that did not send a deposit...EVER! Shit happens...yes, but it is up to the provider to minimize the bs we have to deal with. As you have expressed, many will take advantage of you.
-- Modified on 10/14/2012 5:45:02 PM
You said you were an “outcall provider”, yet you were booking and paying for the hotel this time. Was your mutual understanding that he would reimburse you for that cost later? Also, our definitions of a “nice guy” may differ, because anyone who would leave you stranded with a hotel bill twice in a row without any kind of compensation is not a gentleman.
I’m not sure what your rates are and how you set appointments, but I personally would not book a hotel room for an hour and drive an hour each way leaving my real job behind just to see someone at a dicounted rate. If he is your ATF and he is worth the trouble, fine, but if he is less than appreciative, I would not do it. He has left you in a bad situation twice this week and now is asking to see you again in two weeks? It doesn’t seem like he understands the expenses you had and the time you wasted waiting to see him. He doesn’t strike me as someone who appreciates the effort…
He has put you out of $400 and you’ve wasted 5+ hours driving. You were ready and willing to go through with the appointmet both times, but the room was not ready. Any sensible adult who has ever booked a hotel room understands that check-in time generally starts at 3pm (and many hotels are now pushing for 4), early check-in is rarely guaranteed. You have been lucky in the past, but this time your luck has ran out.
Any decent gentleman would have offered to pay for the hotel room, since you booked it in vain, and he was the one who had to leave not you, you took the day off from work. But he did not offer to do so, which in itself is a red flag. You could still ask him, but you may have to swallow the cost this time and write it off to learning a lesson. At this point I would only see him if he understood that in case a room is not available at 12pm, he will have to wait or if his schedule does not allow that, he needs to reimburse you for the room (or book it himself) and the time you’ve wated driving back and forth. Or he could just book an appointment after 3, to allow you to check-in at regular time. That’s the least he could do, since he has been grandfathered at a cheaper rate for a year… Good luck.
he's used to seeing girls with regular incall hours, I'm used to making arrangements one date at a time (usually for 2-3+ hours). I think that's where some of the conflict comes in. An appeal I have (had) in my current market is that I don't see multiple people per day. He couldn't care less about that. He just likes me and wants it to be as easy to visit me as it is the other girls, which of course entails an investment on their part. He'd probably rather that I lower my rate/time minimum to make it easier. I don't agree with that at all, it's not the right choice for me, but I respect his preference and can certainly understand where he's coming from.
It's never been inconvenient before for me to see him. My day job is call-in, so I can just choose not to call in that day. My 'productive' work is portable and so I can do it equally well in hotel or at home. This is (was) a huge part of my income, so if I have to go a little out of my way, so be it. That's how I've always regarded this.
I think you have been extremely accommodating and went out of your way for him. I don't think he understands that; if he did, he would have offered to pay for the hotel and a cancellation fee on his own, and you wouldn't have had to post this. Like you said, some men are used to a different kind of experience, and it's not your job to transform yourself to fit the mold, because there are thousands of women out there, and it simply makes more sense for him to find someone who is better suited to his needs. His preferences make him a good match for someone who has a static incall, hopefully closer to him.
You should try to get reimbursed for your loss. I know you did it because you consider him a nice guy and also because you needed the money. You also have the issue of not being able to advertise now. All of those things make it difficult for you to find better clients... But if your preference is to meet gentlemen for 2-3 hours at a certain rate (higher than what he is grandfathered in at), and not more than one a day, you should stick to that. Speaking from experience, every single time I've strayed from what I feel comfortable with, I ended up with a less than stellar experience, be it agreeing to see someone who was used to another kind of girl, or lowering my minimum time available. If he is worth the compromise, be it... but is he? Sometimes you have to let go of a less than ideal client to free yourself up to those who are a better match for you.
It seems that the real question you want to get an answer to (and probably by the men on this board, not the women) is whether you should ask for a reimbursement. I think you should, absolutely.
What kind of a gentleman is he??? Obviously he's not. He's thoughtless and inconsiderate, to say the very least. If he were any kind of a decent guy (even only as a client) he should be stepping up and offering to help more, to do more for one of his special, old favorite providers, in your time of need. It's not as though you're asking him for money; you just could use some understanding and consideration, especially now. It's not even friendship, its common human decency to help a friend/colleague/neighbor in need!
What to do? This is beyond business. This is about having some self respect for yourself. That is, don't let him take advantage of you that way. I'd tactfully read him the riot act, explaining your situation and, if he's too thick headed to get it and mend the error of his ways, cut him out, ditch him as soon as you can. There are surely plenty of other gentlemen out there who will show YOU respect and consideration and treat you like the lady that you surely are, as evidenced by how hard you try to work with and accommodate your clients. Perhaps you could ask your other regulars to pass the word and to refer you to their friends in order to get more clients, and you might eventually work completely UTR. That's much safer, anyways, for all involved. Good luck and God bless...
I scheduled a two hour appointment the other day with a lady at the quoted price of $800.
I forgot that I am only allowed to withdraw $500/day from my ATM.
So I called her at the time we agreed upon and the first thing I did was to apologize for my honest mistake.
She was pissed but tried to be nice and explained to me that she had already booked the hotel room. I asked her what it cost and she said $95 so I told her I would do what I could to raise the other $300 and if I couldn't I would be glad to send her the $95 since it was my fault.
I couldn't raise it and she was pissed again, though still trying to be nice. I suggested we could schedule for the next day or else I offered again to send the $95. She told me to just forget the whole thing.
I followed up with an email apologizing once more and she followed up with an email telling me she not only spent $95 on the hotel room but had to drive an hour to the hotel.
Well, excuse me. She said $800 and I had no friggin' idea she had to spend $95 for a hotel room let alone that she had to drive an hour to get there because she was advertising locally. It was an honest mistake and there was nothing I could do about it.
Shit happens.
-- Modified on 10/14/2012 9:48:18 AM
In your case, I would have paid the damn room and been done with it. If I were her, I would have just taken the 500 and gave you 90 min. vs. getting nothing at all and being pissed off, but that's just me.
How did I forget what my damn limit was?
I work for a living and have other things on my mind to deal with, believe it or not.
-- Modified on 10/14/2012 10:08:35 AM
-- Modified on 10/14/2012 10:09:31 AM
Well for next time if you have credit cards you can usually get cash with them from an atm as well.
This Italian prick was the caused the demise of the native North American population, and then he caused my bank to unexpectedly be closed!!! So I had a similar incident occur...When I went to get $$$, the bank was closed and all I could get was my ATM limit. (But my date was understanding, and we turned this into a reason for our next meeting 
Hi,
... Amerigo Vespucci discovered America first!! Hence the name of America!! So, there should be no "Columbus Day" , which cause some hobbiests to scramble on such a day!! :oP
Posted By: cedar47
This Italian prick was the caused the demise of the native North American population, and then he caused my bank to unexpectedly be closed!!! So I had a similar incident occur...When I went to get $$$, the bank was closed and all I could get was my ATM limit. (But my date was understanding, and we turned this into a reason for our next meeting
I would have offered you at least a hour and a half and taken what you had vs lose ALL!
Shit happens mostly to people who sit around waiting for shit to happen.
There are banks now where you can just walk in and take out money, as much as you want, up to what's available in your account. You didn't bother to go get money until after the bank closed. That's your fault.
You could have suggested to her "just give me $500 worth". She may not be making what she wanted, but she's not out of pocket, at least. That's your fault for not suggesting it, and hers for not accepting if you did.
IMO a hobbyist who books $800 appointments who can't come up with $300 at any given moment is in over his head. That's your choice.
You did offer her the $95; that's her fault for not accepting.
The facts of the case are that you booked an $800 appointment, she made arrangements and then you flaked on her. The reasons why are immaterial, and she had a right to be pissed. Saying "it was an honest mistake" and "shit happens" doesn't change her situation, and if the situation were somewhat similar, but in reverse, you'd be posting here looking to have the villagers descend on her place with torches.
Bullshit! I sat in a hotel lobby after driving for an hour to a meeting the month before only to find out the lady thought the appointment was on Wednesday even though four emails said Thursday in the subject line. I did NOT post here complaining about her. Like I said, shit happens.
And I could not get the other $300 on my credit card even though I tried because when I went to the bank their goddam machine was broke and I didn't have time to run to another bank with the appointment an hour away and not enough time to get there.
Shit does happen. Go fuck yourselves.
Posted By: clarence37
Shit happens mostly to people who sit around waiting for shit to happen.
There are banks now where you can just walk in and take out money, as much as you want, up to what's available in your account. You didn't bother to go get money until after the bank closed. That's your fault.
You could have suggested to her "just give me $500 worth". She may not be making what she wanted, but she's not out of pocket, at least. That's your fault for not suggesting it, and hers for not accepting if you did.
IMO a hobbyist who books $800 appointments who can't come up with $300 at any given moment is in over his head. That's your choice.
You did offer her the $95; that's her fault for not accepting.
The facts of the case are that you booked an $800 appointment, she made arrangements and then you flaked on her. The reasons why are immaterial, and she had a right to be pissed. Saying "it was an honest mistake" and "shit happens" doesn't change her situation, and if the situation were somewhat similar, but in reverse, you'd be posting here looking to have the villagers descend on her place with torches.
We don't really give a fk!
but you do have your moments 
Seriously, I'm way too old to party at Mardi Gras again, but if I come down to Jazzfest, will you show me your tits?
As for YOU JLee, you just keep proving my point. Shit happens. It happens to guys who sit in hotel lobbies waiting for a girl who isn't coming, and it happens to guys who don't prepare and plan ahead.
Believe it or not, I'm a firm believer that "shit happens". But I don't expect the people who are being shit upon to be happy about it. Unless they are into that. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
eeeew.
PITA is a flat bread pocket. I would never call you that.
Actually, Pain in THE ass kind of suggests that you are a pain in only ONE ass, and I submit that, as a pain in the ass, you have international potential. So I will stick with the more global "Pain In Ass".
I don't really see our buddy as an angry man at all. "Go Fuck Yourself" is a lovely sentiment, and in fact I took his advice today, a slow and lonely Sunday. Twice, actually, but only once looking at your pictures. The other time I was picturing our BIB friend getting double-teamed by Brian Johnson and Ozzie Osbourne.
Eeeew. TMI, I know
HEY - I just noticed that you list CT rates on your site. Do you have a calendar published somewhere, or know when you might be heading that way again? I will probably be getting back to New England sometime in December... I never really thought I'd get a chance to catch up to you, but I'd sure like to...
This thread is the very reason WHY lol.
-- Modified on 10/15/2012 1:02:45 AM
This is a liitle off topic, but, I think it's our responsibility to make sure we have the cash for an appointment we book. I've seen some really wonderful women in the hobby, and I wouldn't want to inconvienence them or interupt their schedule. They are after all business people. I however do understand about Columbus day (a BS holiday), I was inconvienenced by the holiday when I needed to do some banking and I too have a $500 ATM limit. So, if that would've happened to me I would've taken a cash advance on my credit card and paid the nominal fee as it would have clearly been my mistake. But I would have at the very least insisted on paying for the room, it's not her fault I made an error.
This reply post is not at all meant to be critical of you JLee567, but simply informative of other options you may have had to make things right.
Every provider I've been with through TER has treated me like a king, but I also never let the donation be an issue of any kind, considering I have made the appointment.
I have done sessions in the past where the fee is > $500 and it is no problem because I just remember to withdraw the money over a two day period. As I recall this incident now I emailed the lady about a week before the session and didn't hear from her until the night before when she told me she had been out of town but would love to have a session with me the following day. I never even thought about the ATM limit until I went to the machine to withdraw the money. Although the time was drawing near I still didn't see this as an insurmountable problem until I went to the onsite credit union to get the rest on my credit card as a cash advance only to be told the machine was down but I should check back shortly. I returned two more times to the credit union before it was time to leave for my one hour drive to where we were supposed to meet only to be told the same thing.
That's when I had to tell her the bad news that I couldn't come up with the cash. I can imagine how it might have sounded to her but it was the truth. She never offered to give me a $500 session and I thought it would be crass to ask so I didn't. Later on that evening I wrote her a final email apologizing even more profusely than before and asking for an address where I could send her a gift as a form of apology expecting nothing in return. She never responded and I have never heard from her again.
When I had the SNAFU with the lady who confused Wednesday with Thursday even though all the emails said Thursday she was also very apologetic about it on the phone when she realized her mistake and I told her no problem - contact me when you are in town next time and we will try to make it happen again.
I really don't understand why so many people on here jumped on my ass about this. I do strive to be the best whoremonger I can be but none of us are perfect.
Posted By: JLee567
I have done sessions in the past where the fee is > $500 and it is no problem because I just remember to withdraw the money over a two day period.
That's when I had to tell her the bad news that I couldn't come up with the cash. I can imagine how it might have sounded to her but it was the truth. She never offered to give me a $500 session and I thought it would be crass to ask so I didn't. Later on that evening I wrote her a final email apologizing even more profusely than before and asking for an address where I could send her a gift as a form of apology expecting nothing in return. She never responded and I have never heard from her again.
When I had the SNAFU with the lady who confused Wednesday with Thursday even though all the emails said Thursday she was also very apologetic about it on the phone when she realized her mistake and I told her no problem - contact me when you are in town next time and we will try to make it happen again.
I really don't understand why so many people on here jumped on my ass about this. I do strive to be the best whoremonger I can be but none of us are perfect.
I completely understand where you are coming from...especially if you are used to one hour appointments, your mental autopilot tells you that a trip to the ATM will always give you enough cash to cover all but a touring porn star for the most part.
Shit happens...
Hi,
... and found something to do!!! Knowing that you were an ATF & the situation you're in I would not make you go through hoops & make you drive all that way!! I would respect your time!! Anyway, listen to the fine ladies on how to handle future hotel bookings!! They have a vast knowledge & can give you valuable pointers!1 Good luck!
Posted By: tg_baby
I'm an outcall provider. I have a regular who found me years ago through an agency and has continued to see me as an independent. I have raised my rates and time minimums, but have grandfathered him and will book a hotel room for us when he wants to see me. I do it because he is a nice guy and usually it's convenient for us both.
This week, as usual, I booked a hotel through priceline at a significant discount. When I book a hotel, it is only for his discounted 1-hour appointment. I travel 1 hour each way, opt out of other day work I can get, put aside my productive work. For the past year, everything has worked out fine and I've checked in at 11am no problem. But that day, the hotel was sold out the night before and the room was not ready until 2pm. Our meeting was at 12. He had driven down but didn't want to stay until 2pm (he could have but there was nothing around to do, and I told him I understood). We were both inconvenienced. So I agreed to meet him the next day at a location much closer to him (but 45 minutes farther for me) at 12pm again. I told him I'd give him an extra $100 discount for his trouble. So I ate the cost of room and gas and went home. So the next day same thing. I book a hotel where I think is convenient to him. I drive there, very far from me, they were sold out the night before and can't check me in till 2pm. Again I am forced to eat the hotel costs plus gas/tolls, and he can't come. He said that it was closer to him, but he was the OTHER direction from the area he mentioned (I don't know where he lives and just booked the general location he told me). I tried to text some other clients (I hated doing that) but it was too short notice for them.
Thing is, I am going through some personal problems (was stalked and outed) and can't advertise. My income has been decimated. I had a slight cushion before all the hotels/driving, and now am down to $36 for the next week until I have an extended appointment with another regular. He knows my situation and knows I am not advertising. But he actually asked me to pay full price for the hotel (he thought paying full price would allow me to check in on time, which it wouldn't - the hotels were simply sold out the night before). If I did that, it would not be profitable for me or worth all the time and driving.
This guy is used to touring girls and doesn't understand the trouble I am going through for him. He knows I book the room for him only, but he doesn't GET that it's not always possible to check in at 12, and that touring girls who can accommodate him at that time have the room for a few days. He doesn't GET that it is ridiculous (I think) to expect me to pay full price for the room when I am driving so far and have no one else to see there. He likes me being low-volume, but at the same time wants everything convenient for him just like a touring girl would do. I feel a bit angry because I tried to do things for his convenience, and ended up getting put in a very bad spot financially, that I MAJORLY can't afford to be in.
He wants to see me again in a two weeks. At this point, I would rather have guaranteed day work income than lose more $ when I have no idea it will can replaced (again, I am not able to advertise). I want to tell him in some way how much he has put me out (including the cost of lost day work, about $400 total, plus time I could have been doing more productive things than driving and waiting in hotel lobbies, also I needed the money i spend on him to advertise my legit business) and make him understand that if I continue booking a room JUST for him, that he needs to understand the limitations. Like, NO full price rooms, NO 12pm check-in unless he accepts the possibility that we may have to wait.
If he feels that it's too much to ask, I honestly don't want to see him again. It's not worth it to me to go through all that risk and trouble to make very little money.
This guy seems mad at ME (maybe some of you will agree). He didn't even answer a text I sent telling him when the room was ready. That's fine, I'd like to hear all viewpoints because I like him as a person and want to deal with the situation tactfully. I get that it's a business and it's normal for him to expect things to run smoothly. But still. I'm fine with telling him no more even though I need every penny I can get right now, because I don't want to lose any more money than I have already and I don't like feeling angry.
I can't let things rest the way they are, I feel that I need to say something. If you were in this guy's situation, what would you want the girl to say to you? How would you handle things with her?
You're in a bad spot right now with the outing and such and I think that desperation is lending itself to all of this going back and forth over a client you shouldn't even be dealing with because lets be honest, when our "house is in order" as Back_In_Black said above we don't go chasing clients all over town, driving two hours roundtrip, paying for the hotel to see only them AT A DISCOUNT.
I would say explain the issues to the client:
1. You're booking a hotel only to see him. Unless he is booking multiple hours or paying for the hotel this is pure foolishness.
2. You're driving multiple hours roundtrip for a discounted rate. Again, this is pure nonsense.
Time is money. Deal with people who respect it.
Sounds to me like he is aloof because he's used to just making the call and seeing the touring girl who is posted up in the hotel trying to make bank 24-7 before she goes home. I've had to cut ties with regulars or stop seeing regulars for a period of time who constantly finagled me into situations where I like you was booking hotels just to see them and driving all over town for just this sort of tom foolery.
Its not his fault - he's just trying to bust a nut at as low a cost and the least complication to him (i.e. since you're doing all the driving why isn't he offering to pay you a reasonable rate or pay for the hotel).
No one can feel your pain but you.
No one understands your financial situation or what the cost is to provide the service but you.
The stalking/outing has put you in a bad place.
But you need to get back on your feet so you're not going through all of this agony over a client who should be on your back burner or "maybe see if I don't have anything else to do" list.
I think you should be pondering this situation less and focusing on how to get back out there on your feet with a new identity / UTR, some financial security so that you're not at the mercy of clients like this.
If she could have stayed but didn't want to wait two hours because there was nothing to do ,
I wouldn't waste my time again .
If she's so boring she can't amuse herself for a couple hours
I wouldn't say anything , I would let my no answer phone do all my talking .
If I didn't have afternoon plans I couldn't break, and you let me know the situation before 12 :10
I would wait the two hours .
Posted By: tg_baby
that day, the hotel was sold out the night before and the room was not ready until 2pm. Our meeting was at 12. He had driven down but didn't want to stay until 2pm (he could have but there was nothing around to do, and I told him I understood).
I can't let things rest the way they are, I feel that I need to say something. If you were in this guy's situation, what would you want the girl to say to you? How would you handle things with her?
This is why I love the "why are you so expensive in this economy" threads. Some want to bitch and moan about the price of ass, but where are they when you count on them? Nowhere lol. There are good guys, and there are some not even worth the money that's paid. You put up with a hell of a lot more than most of us would for any rate. If you can't get it through his brick head, you are NOT a touring provider, let him find some short notice provider willing to accommodate his crap.
That's what loyalty and goodwill should get you. If you know the provider and have a history, then just pay her and make up the session another time. Chances are good that she will extend the time and make it up to you.
If you're a client and you can't afford to pay the fare and not get off, then what are you doing seeing girls?
You are totally accommodating here, and I don't get his situation.
He should just pay you and know that you will make good on it. Simple.
He felt that the situation was the result of me booking cheaper rooms on priceline and not making a reservation ahead of time.
It's a discounted 1-hour session. Paying full-price for a hotel is not an option. Or rather, it is an option, but it wouldn't be worth the time and travel (to me). Telling him that would be very rude, but I always thought it was understood.
I think he'll probably make it up to me somewhat when he sees me next time (he will likely put a little extra in the envelope but not enough to cover my time and losses). I though he understood my situation better before now, but I'm realizing that he feels put out by me trying to cut corners with hotel costs.
We'll definitely have a chat about my new afternoons-only schedule (if I can get day work I'll take the guaranteed income and see him after), and I'll also speak with him about chipping in for the room from now on (maybe he'll start feeling differently about priceline then). No way will I ever go out of my way for him again because obviously he is not appreciative.
-- Modified on 10/14/2012 7:14:18 PM
In his case, he should just pay the money and let you make it up to him. Unless he doesn't trust you, in which case you shouldn't be going outta your way for him.
Let me say that I would not allow my lady friend to be put in such a position. Period. One of my Favs had me grandfathered at her very low special rate... after a year, I decided to pay her regular rate which was still affordable... typical for my area. This lady NOW has a Special running between my initial cost & what I'm paying, she knows I know it but she's worth the price I pay & same as others I see at that price... so I'll not cut into her donation.
Typically, if a lady gets a room for a single client... typically she'll get the room so he doesn't worry about the records but he reimburses the room cost in cash + the donation.
Frankly, Having to wait, I might have been grumpy but (as a client) I would have found some coffee shop to hang in, play on my mobil devise or laptop...
Going forward, you can't count on early check in... so the schedule needs to change. And he needs to kick in something for the room. As uncomfortable as the conversation will be, YOU can''t afford him. You are in a cash flow bind. Even if you wanted to see him, how could you afford to front this money. Every client must pay their own way. If he can't / won't then you can't see him. HE even knows you are in a money squeeze but is not jumping in to help. I'm not suggesting a loan or anything... When my lady friends need cash, if I can swing it & I'm in the mood... I'll book an appointment.
Tell him you can only do outcalls & he has to be responsible for getting the room. You can appologize but you "can't afford to rent the room". "Soo Sorry!" Don't offer to book the room, so you can't get stuck for it. If he won't go for it... it'd be his loss. He's no charity case. It's time for him to be a man.
36 dollars... you going to eat Ramen Noodles for the next month? This isn't right.
needs to understand you are running a business and taking a loss 2 straight days does not help make the business profitable.
Some of the suggestions above are good. Let me add a few which you can use separately and/or combine.
1. Trying making your dates with him on a Monday when it is less likely the hotel is sold out the night before. Sunday is usually the lowest occupancy for business hotels.
2. Maybe he should be getting the room for at least the next two encounters?
3. Schedule earlier, say 10 am, arrive the night before and then get a late checkout just to be on the safe side.
4. Raise your rate for him to your standard rate.
Hope your overall situation improves.
First of all only an idiot would not understand that hotel check in is not at noon-that's a convenience that works out sometimes but not other times. Secondly HE should be booking and paying for the room. Quite frankly it's the least he can do for a long-time regular lady who is giving him a discount and clearing her day for his one hour appointment.
He certainly has no business being angry with you over any of this. You are going above and beyond what most gals would do for a regular and showing immense patience. You either need to clear the air with him and lay-out some new ground rules or dump him.
outted her...hmmmm
A man will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.....period!
Totally ignore him, he deserves noire of your time even for 1 simple email..!
I have been following this thread, but missed the part about her being "outted"? I haven't read every single post, it's just too tiring
I AM on her side, and do think the guy is either a prick or just a self-involved user, but you do have to admit that she is a bit of an enabler. I hope the volumes of advice here help her to cut this guy loose or at least lay down the law.
She states this in her initial post.
Not sure if she would qualify as an enabler given the circumstance she's in but definitely a sucker!
When I first read your post, I had an imediate opinion. Then I read posts of providers that I have the upmost respect and admiration for and my initial opinion changed somewhat.
I can assure you of this, had it been me involved in this situation I would have either paid you for one of the room cost or I may have just gotten the second room myself. I travel a lot for business and I can tell you that if you were an elite member of the motel they would've made sure they had a room ready for early check-in if you had called them ahead of time and explained that you needed that. Getting rooms through Priceline is most often significantly cheaper but only because of the nature of a site like Priceline and that they are selling unsold rooms, thus they are discounted. Also, the hotel is much more inclined to give a proven loyal customer (elite) prefferential teatment (early check-in) before they will a discounted booking site customer. I think as a business person you understand this as you were giving this proven loyal customer prefferential treatment by making every effort to accomodate him. I would venture to say from your description that you wouldn't have gone to such lengths for just anyone.
I think it's an interesting situation you are in, but experience tells me that being honest with him about how you feel and all that you've done to try to accomodate him is most likely the best option available to your situation. I would think that if he's a reasonable person he'll agree to some kiind of a resolution. If he's been seeing you that long then you have some level of freindship and/or repore that he'll be understanding.
I will say this though, if I were to get stood up twice by a provider there won't be a third oportunity (I understand things happen so I can let one time slide). I know from your explanation that you certainly did not stand him up and I don't mean to imply that you did, I'm just saying.
put you in a position to cater to his every desire when he says so and how he says so...hmm
Outing you keeps you just the way he likes em...low volume.!
Jus sayin!
bwahahaha. If a guy wants a LV hooker, make her a sugar baby and pay all her damn bills. Otherwise, fk off. I am LV because I want to be, not because some tard says he won't see a high volume gal. I would really be low volume if I were a Mistress with an expense account for only ONE guy though...just sayin.
Glad to see you posting again, hot stuff!
You are allowing this guy to take advantage of you. Dump him ASAP (am positive he pays other providers more than he pays you). If you decide to keep seeing him, at least charge him your standard rate plus travel expenses (would be interested to see if he dumps you - if so Good Ridence).
He's seen me for years and has actually been very good to me. He's just not used to my type of business model and I think he just sees the hospitality as my responsibility, like with touring/incall girls. I think he still feels put out. I sent him an email explaining my difficulties and suggesting that we need to work together in the future as regards to check-in time etc. He agreed and I feel that he will make it up to me when we meet, he's a nice guy. We're both nice people and like each other. He certainly doesn't want me to be put out or feel upset. But I feel much better for having spoken up, and it think we both will benefit from that.
I would want you to be as honest and forthcoming with me as you've been in this post. Your attitude will, to some extent, effect how the message is received. Just state your position matter of factly, without undue emotion, as you have here.
Posted By: tg_baby
I'm an outcall provider. I have a regular who found me years ago through an agency and has continued to see me as an independent. I have raised my rates and time minimums, but have grandfathered him and will book a hotel room for us when he wants to see me. I do it because he is a nice guy and usually it's convenient for us both.
This week, as usual, I booked a hotel through priceline at a significant discount. When I book a hotel, it is only for his discounted 1-hour appointment. I travel 1 hour each way, opt out of other day work I can get, put aside my productive work. For the past year, everything has worked out fine and I've checked in at 11am no problem. But that day, the hotel was sold out the night before and the room was not ready until 2pm. Our meeting was at 12. He had driven down but didn't want to stay until 2pm (he could have but there was nothing around to do, and I told him I understood). We were both inconvenienced. So I agreed to meet him the next day at a location much closer to him (but 45 minutes farther for me) at 12pm again. I told him I'd give him an extra $100 discount for his trouble. So I ate the cost of room and gas and went home. So the next day same thing. I book a hotel where I think is convenient to him. I drive there, very far from me, they were sold out the night before and can't check me in till 2pm. Again I am forced to eat the hotel costs plus gas/tolls, and he can't come. He said that it was closer to him, but he was the OTHER direction from the area he mentioned (I don't know where he lives and just booked the general location he told me). I tried to text some other clients (I hated doing that) but it was too short notice for them.
Thing is, I am going through some personal problems (was stalked and outed) and can't advertise. My income has been decimated. I had a slight cushion before all the hotels/driving, and now am down to $36 for the next week until I have an extended appointment with another regular. He knows my situation and knows I am not advertising. But he actually asked me to pay full price for the hotel (he thought paying full price would allow me to check in on time, which it wouldn't - the hotels were simply sold out the night before). If I did that, it would not be profitable for me or worth all the time and driving.
This guy is used to touring girls and doesn't understand the trouble I am going through for him. He knows I book the room for him only, but he doesn't GET that it's not always possible to check in at 12, and that touring girls who can accommodate him at that time have the room for a few days. He doesn't GET that it is ridiculous (I think) to expect me to pay full price for the room when I am driving so far and have no one else to see there. He likes me being low-volume, but at the same time wants everything convenient for him just like a touring girl would do. I feel a bit angry because I tried to do things for his convenience, and ended up getting put in a very bad spot financially, that I MAJORLY can't afford to be in.
He wants to see me again in a two weeks. At this point, I would rather have guaranteed day work income than lose more $ when I have no idea it will can replaced (again, I am not able to advertise). I want to tell him in some way how much he has put me out (including the cost of lost day work, about $400 total, plus time I could have been doing more productive things than driving and waiting in hotel lobbies, also I needed the money i spend on him to advertise my legit business) and make him understand that if I continue booking a room JUST for him, that he needs to understand the limitations. Like, NO full price rooms, NO 12pm check-in unless he accepts the possibility that we may have to wait.
If he feels that it's too much to ask, I honestly don't want to see him again. It's not worth it to me to go through all that risk and trouble to make very little money.
This guy seems mad at ME (maybe some of you will agree). He didn't even answer a text I sent telling him when the room was ready. That's fine, I'd like to hear all viewpoints because I like him as a person and want to deal with the situation tactfully. I get that it's a business and it's normal for him to expect things to run smoothly. But still. I'm fine with telling him no more even though I need every penny I can get right now, because I don't want to lose any more money than I have already and I don't like feeling angry.
I can't let things rest the way they are, I feel that I need to say something. If you were in this guy's situation, what would you want the girl to say to you? How would you handle things with her?
Sounds like you've spoiled him a little
I completely understand the utr stress, as I've had to go under a time or two myself...
So here's my sister advise to you
Have you considered changing your name, starting over ect., so that you can advertise, and take care of business as you need to?
* If you depend on one or two men, and they KNOW that your in "that" position, they will (knowing or unknowingly) take advantage of things.
OR, if starting over isn't an option... think of a compromise... like one week he takes care of the hotel on his side of town and you drive to him, and the week after you take care of the hotel close to your house and he drives to you... Somethings gotta change
The BEST part about this is that YOU can do this however you want to, all you have to do is decide whatcha wanna do, and jump in.
Loves to you,
Shelly
-- Modified on 10/16/2012 10:52:49 PM
She LIKES this guy, and they have a relationship built up over YEARS. She's been lax in communicating certain things (as women are prone to do)..but she clearly doesn't want to stop seeing him....the jaded advice from her fellow escorts notwithstanding.
If it were just about the money (as it clearly is for many of you...and probably should be...lol)...this would be easy...but she LIKES him....and likes the time that he can make for her...
