Funny I am kind of going through a similar thing though from the other side of the coin. I personally don't see any reason not to ask but it could be in the way you do it. You might want to preface the conversation with something to the tune of letting him know there is something you have had on your mind for a while and wanted to get his take on it. Be sure to say there is no pressure and point out the obvious things that you both get along so well and seem to really click. Just ask if he would be interested in spending more time together just see how things develop. If he is hesitant then ask what reservations he may have. Don't be forceful as some guys just can't say what is in their head all the time (believe me I know, I'm one of them and trying to work on it). If he just seems like he can't discuss it right then remind him there is no pressure and let him know you are open to talk about it at any time. You may get your answer or you may not but at least you will have tried.
My situation is that I absolutely love everything I know about a certain provider. I really have no interest in being with anyone else at this time. We have shared so much together (countless lunches and dinners, she has traveled with me and is even traveling with me again next week which was her idea). I do whatever I can to help her out though I am not rich. I have told her that in a perfect world I would be wealthy enough to keep her all to myself to which she responded favorably. I do want to take care of her and she always tells me how she appreciates me and that I always do take care of her. The physical connection, and at times I feel the emotional connection, is off the charts between the two of us. The feeling is eating me up inside and I just want to have the same conversation with her as you are wanting with your client. The biggest apprehension I could think I would have would be having to share her since I could not fully provide for her at this time. I have thought about it and I think I would be okay with it just knowing that it's a job for her and she chooses to be with me (if that is the way it works out). So I say go for it but approach it cautiously as I know you don't want to spoil a good thing. You just never know until you try. Good luck!I have a client that I really enjoy. He is single, young, smart but extremely shy. We have had so much fun together. We have met each others friends and family. We talk almost daily, he understands me and I him. I have hinted that if he asked I would pursue more. He has been to shy to take the hint. Should I just ask? I no longer receive reference requests about him. I don't want to lose a good client and more importantly a friend. He is not rich, I don't want to be supported anyway but it means I would need to continue to work if we were to date and my financial goals met. Is this a bad idea?
..I have no experience in this situation. Hopefully Mr Fisher will respond.
Just sayin
To the OP: There are many good arguments to go either way. Roll the dice. I did, and don't regret it.
Here's a little tune to help sort things (Just the first part really, the rest is just kick-ass rock.)
I was a huge fan of In Sides.
Orbital + getting high = a great time.
JK - I never inhaled. 
Hmmm - perhaps "The Box" next?
Here's a little tune to help sort things (Just the first part really, the rest is just kick-ass rock.)
I would just ask the client if he wants to date. Regret is a hard companion to live with so I would just go for it. It sounds like you both like each other.
Funny I am kind of going through a similar thing though from the other side of the coin. I personally don't see any reason not to ask but it could be in the way you do it. You might want to preface the conversation with something to the tune of letting him know there is something you have had on your mind for a while and wanted to get his take on it. Be sure to say there is no pressure and point out the obvious things that you both get along so well and seem to really click. Just ask if he would be interested in spending more time together just see how things develop. If he is hesitant then ask what reservations he may have. Don't be forceful as some guys just can't say what is in their head all the time (believe me I know, I'm one of them and trying to work on it). If he just seems like he can't discuss it right then remind him there is no pressure and let him know you are open to talk about it at any time. You may get your answer or you may not but at least you will have tried.
My situation is that I absolutely love everything I know about a certain provider. I really have no interest in being with anyone else at this time. We have shared so much together (countless lunches and dinners, she has traveled with me and is even traveling with me again next week which was her idea). I do whatever I can to help her out though I am not rich. I have told her that in a perfect world I would be wealthy enough to keep her all to myself to which she responded favorably. I do want to take care of her and she always tells me how she appreciates me and that I always do take care of her. The physical connection, and at times I feel the emotional connection, is off the charts between the two of us. The feeling is eating me up inside and I just want to have the same conversation with her as you are wanting with your client. The biggest apprehension I could think I would have would be having to share her since I could not fully provide for her at this time. I have thought about it and I think I would be okay with it just knowing that it's a job for her and she chooses to be with me (if that is the way it works out). So I say go for it but approach it cautiously as I know you don't want to spoil a good thing. You just never know until you try.
Good luck!
you were actually speaking about each other?
Oh, how I wish but I can assure you this is not the case...
We are guys. You have to be straightforward with us. I've had civi girls tell me I "had my chance" and all I could do was "when? Was I there?" We don't pick up on things and in hobby land we are extra careful that we don't cross any boundaries.
You are going to have to be very forward and leave nothing up to question.
He may be cool with the idea that you're still working. Then again he may not. You'll never know unless you ask.
-- Modified on 12/5/2015 4:27:41 AM
Imagine if every "hint" that a lady dropped during a session, was misconstrued as hint that she is actually into the guy?
You mean they aren't. Now, you had to ruin it for me didn't you?
I think she would say, "Love is for suckers!"
Sounds like you two enjoy each others company outside the hobby so I'd say give it a shot. If both are in agreement. He may be shy but he wasn't to shy to visit an escort. I also look forward to Mr.Fisher's input on this as well.
...I dated a lot and I'm one of those shy guys as well. The way I intepret this is that he's shy cuz he thinks you are too good for him, you are probably on a pedestal. What my aunt (ex-hooker) did was she started to offer her 2nd husband (when they were not married yet and still hobbying) more and more OTC time. This OTC should be revolved around activities which gives him confidence like something he's good at. In my aunts case her second husband was good at cooking so the otc was revolved around cooking dinner together at her place. They eventually started dating. The goal is to raise his confidence. She transitioned out of sex work though into legit business.
IMO if he already has introduced you to his family you are already dating... I would never do that with just any provider.
I don't know the guy but most bfs of providers usually become jealous especially young guys. Even if you stop the hobby and go into something like modelling they still get jealous cuz you are meeting guys. Thing with shy people is they hide their feelings so he might be accepting of you providing but be hurting inside. Therefore its extremely important that if you two start dating to talk about your feelings openly and honestly.
but since there were already so many responses I thought I'd read them all first, Surprisingly enough, yours was the best. kudos IMO, you nailed it.
If you want to make it official, you can always just wean him off the donation, most of my LTR's with providers have started with her saying at some point "I hope you know I don't really want your money, I really like you"
Now it can be tough for a guy without a lot of self confidence to accept that you see him because you like him, but you are still seeing others because you have to pay the bills, Not all guys can accept that, but you'll never know unless you ask.
I agree that simply doing more and more OTC stuff and gradually not taking money from him at all will mean you are in a "real relationship" even if you don't have any of those open and frank conversations everyone else is suggesting you have. Sometimes you just fall into relationships and wake up one day to find half your stuff at his place and half his stuff at yours. I hope things work out for you two.
I think narcissistic is French for Asshole.
...the moment you stop collecting his donation is when you start dating. If you must stay in this line of work for economical reasons, he will have reservations about sharing you with other guys; just bring a girlfriend from time to time for threesome action and see how you can handle seeing him with another girl. If you're cool with that, then you'll have an argument for him to also be cool about it.
I have seen many but nobody I have ever
wanted to see / date OTC.
I feel the clock is the issue as we pay for time and companionship.
Its impossible to discuss because of the GFE that she has given 1 hour at a time
She is given a donation to give me this feeling.
I now get anxious even asking her for a 1 hour date.
Im also coming out of a civie relationship where I left the hobby.
I liked the relationship thing and did not miss this world.
Initially I feel he would understand you continuing to work but eventually
He may be the one that takes you out of this world.
Now, can you/she leave the hobby as many
"Love what they do"
The money is too good to just "leave"
And while many guys say that they are OK with their GF providing ... That does not last long. GFE providers are skilled in providing the perfect GF, but IRL that girl doesn't exist.
Aren't you the guy who dumped the "love of your life" because she fucked a bar keep in the back room ?
If you aren't willing to give the " love of your life" another chance because of her actions one drunken night, you certainly are not mature enough to date a provider.
You took your GF's actions too personal when it was not about you at all.
I'm not saying you should have asked her to douche and have sex with her the same night.
Giving her a time out for a month, two, or perhaps a year would have been a more appropriate response if she was truly the "love of your life".
IMO you have no clue of the true meaning of love.
P.S. If you mature, it's possible you could reignite the flames you found with the "love of your
life"
You might find, make up sex is often the best that can be found or rented.
If you called her a whore your chance of reconciliation and her looking at you as the love of her life, are slimmer than none.
You must be right!
I guess "true love" is forgiving "the love of my life" for throwing it all away for a drunken fuck.
OMG. I'm so stupid to think that "the love of my life" would not even consider or put herself in that situation.
WTF was I thinking! Yeah, what do I know!
I guess I'm an old fashioned "romantic" that thinks once you find the right one, there is no other.....EVER!
Silly fucking me!
Most guys understand that the escort is supposed to be friendly and make us feel special. I wouldn't in a million years suspect an escorts interest in me was more than business as usual, unless it was spelled out to me.
I say go for it. if you're the only girl he is seeing he definitely likes you. Do you know his past history why he was searching for escorts in the first place maybe something happened to bring him to this world. Not everyone's looking to sleep with hundreds of people I'm sure there's more to the story. Take it slow and have fun. I hope all your dreams come true and it works out
Z
Dropping hints, is a stupid way of going about getting something you want. I would imagine he isn't paying you while you meet each others friends and family, and if he is. The hints you are dropping aren't obvious enough.
I'm always perplexed as to why a provider would talk to client almost daily, if not on the clock. I read your post, and every phrase seems to be a contradiction of the previous phrase.
Posting this thread was a bad idea.
The regret you might feel NOT asking is not worth it. You have a 50/50 chance of the right answer. If you don't ask, you have a 100% no.
And if the answer is no, then you can move on.
...go into this with your eyes wide open. The potential for love/romance/real intimacy often obscures the risks for hurt and disappointment.
I have been/am currently in this situation. My advice:
Invite the gentleman to an OTC casual outing.
Let the gentleman know you enjoy his company and ask if he would be interested in growing a non-professional FRIENDSHIP. (All great romantic relationships have a foundation of friendship.)
If he is interested, begin an open dialogue about everything. Stress that honesty and transparency are paramount and will be the new currency in your relationship.
Begin to identify each other's expectations. (Most often, people become angry due to unmet expectations.)
Go slow and learn all you can about each other's REAL person.
Your time spent together should deemphasize sex. Don't eliminate sex, necessarily. Just make sex a periodic pleasure until you are really secure in your non-sexual relationship.
Take your time! Go slow. We become experts at hiding/camoflaging our real personalities/history/skeletons. Make sure you know the good, bad, and ugly of each other and that you still want to be friends (or more) in spite of the less than ideal stuff.
With that said, go for it! Don't be haunted by what might have been.
Best wishes
meet him off the clock somewhere and see what happens next.
Don't listen to anyone who says it will end badly or it can't work.
See what happens and don't expect more than he can give.
good luck!
i had similar situations before
shy guys are hard to date, they are usually quite and you don't know what is going through their mind and what they like and what they do not like, you have to sense it
as i mentioned in my previous posts if you take this relationship to the next level, there is no going back to simple p4p ...so you are risking a loss of steady steam of income, but if you are reputable provider you can afford it...you are also risking to experience the pain of failed relationship and hurt feelings...
in my case, even though it did not work out, it was all worth it, because i gained a life-long friend and my whole family still keeps in touch with him and adores him...no money can buy that...
don't make cold cut decisions going off based on solely short-term cost-benefit analysis, think long-term...he is young now and not wealthy, but is he talented?does he have potential to get somewhere in life and provide for you? you do not need to be a hard-core gold digger, but every woman wants to feel secure and provided for to certain extent and there is nothing wrong with it...
good luck
I am wondering how many hobbyist are thinking this "post" is about him? LOL
I think you have already crossed the line into friendship. If you are both available, then continue down the road. You'll need to be plain about taking it to the next level but at the same time... It'e ok to say you don't have all the answers or know where this is or can go... the joy is in the discovery.
Best Wishes.
Do not miss the chance to find that one special person. I did not and have regretted.
I envied him to see Weezer with me in a few days because he loves classic rock. I will spring it on him after. The advice about deemphasizing sex is a great idea. If he's up for it I will suggest we take a month or two break and get to know each other without sex.
I know other providers who have tried it.
And it almost never works.
The only situations I've seen it work are when both parties are polyamorous. Or if they are heavily and enthusiastically involved in the "swinger" community (i.e. active swingers). Cuckhold situations can work well also.
But I've never heard of a situation that worked long-term where a normal, non-swinger or non Charlie Sheen type didn't eventually want something exclusive with her and eventually pull the old "But baby, I can't stand the thought of you being with other guys" thing. It's bound to happen at some point, and you're going to have to either quit the profession or quit him.