I always think I'm going out of my way to overexplain to each client when I say to not arrive 10, 15, 20 minutes early, sometimes not even 5 minutes early, but on time.  Yet this morning I was in the process of getting ready for a very early AM appointment and got a call asking if we were "still on" for the appointment.  Nothing that I had done or said had indicated anything else, and I said of course.  Then he asked for my room number, ready to go ahead and come on in.  

Twenty minutes before the first appointment of the morning I am very likely still makeup-free, cleaning my room, making phone calls before my schedule starts, etc.  Unlike a large day spa, an FBSM provider does not have a receptionist for the client who arrives 20 minutes early to sit in the lobby with cucumber water and magazines.  

The really maddening part about this type of  situation from today is that when I called the client back fully ready and looking great AT the actual appointment time, he said that he had left the premises and was sorry but that it wasn't "going to work out" for today.  When I stated that it was now the time for our appointment at the time he chose to schedule with me, not 20 minutes previous (or 10 minutes previous, when he had rang again while I was running around trying to prepare), he began to describe how much trouble he had gone to to drive over - very odd considering all that trouble was certainly not wasted unless well after our appointment time I proved to be a no show, not when I was ready on time and all he had to do was walk in to go ahead as we had planned.  

I sit here now looking great but having skipped breakfast, gotten up an hour or more before when I could have slept in, and certainly having missed the opportunity to start the rest of my day on a much more positive note.  Please, do not be early for incall appointments.  I personally do not have a "two call system" that has anything to do with screening.  Having my clients call on time for their appointment to get my room number merely prevents people who show up routinely this far ahead from suddenly knocking on the door while I am with another client, or with a toothbrush in my mouth and a towel around my hair.

with messages about both clients and providers who frustrate and/or anger the other party because of problems with punctuality (being early or being late) or not showing up altogether.

. . . never insist on starting early.

Sometimes I'm late but when I'm early, I'd call a couple minutes ahead of appointment time to indicate that I'm here and ask that she can call me whenever she's ready.

This is a sensible solution.  How about, however, when you have a definite-time appointment about an hour away, with the understanding that you will call 10 mins early to get the room number, only to have the lady say "I wasn't sure you were coming. Give me 20 mins" and then doesn't call for 25-30 mins.  If I had have the sense God gave a dead goose, she'd have been talking to a voicemail when she finally called.  Talk about frosted!

I hear this happens a lot or the client is 20 minutes or more late not thinking about the next clien't appointment.

but what I will do is sit in my car and wait until about 5 minutes before my appointment and then call the provider and alert her that I am waiting.

the lady to come to my hotel.  I am not fond of "assembly line" providers.  I've had two such experiences and did not repeat with either lady.

but I don't want someone sitting in my driveway at my house for 10 to 20 minutes. Neighbors might get suspicious and I have to live here.

Hugs,
ciara

-- Modified on 8/28/2006 3:04:31 PM

I had not been to incall that's a house but if I did  I would probably wait in the next block.

I had an appointment and arrived 10 mins early.  I'd been there before and did not need to call ahead to get a location.  I didn't park anywhere, which tends to attract attention.  I just drove 5 mins further, turned around and returned right on time.

This may be  a bit of apples and oranges, but more than once, I've called for the room number at the appointed time only to be told, "five more minutes". Call back in five minutes and get the number, maze like hotel takes five minutes to navigate. Arrive ten minutes after the appointed time but the clock still started on the hour. Pay for an hour, get 50 minutes of service.

If the time is to be adjusted to my arrival at the door, fine, otherwise I want to be entering the door when the big hand hits 12 and that typically means getting the info well before the green flag gets waved...

. . . I always discount the first 10 minutes for that reason.

This sounds good but the last thing you want to do is find yourself sitting in a hotel parking lot for any extended period of time, followed by a phone call and then entering the premises.  This is considered suspicious behavior and may leave you open to some bored L.E. that has nothing better to do but surveil hotel parking lots targeting hobbyist and providers. Showing early may also bites into the time your provider has scheduled in between meetings.  So if you meet up and she is a bit tart during DATY, you cannot complain or write a less than pleasant review.  As you may have impeded on the time she normally sets aside, to relax, redo her make-up, and mentally & physically refresh for her next meeting.  

Also be considerate of your fellow hobbyist, showing early may push into the earlier appointment and throw her schedule for the next couple of hours.  
Keep in mind your providers time is just as valuable as yours and she is normally working on a schedule.  Her optimum goal is provide an above satisfactory meeting and showing early may lead to an unintended rushed & unrelaxed meeting.  





-- Modified on 8/28/2006 8:53:57 PM

The nearest corner
store,
intersection and have them call you.. (5 minutes before appointment time etc... )

I agree that it is bad form to call a provider more than 5 minutes before the agreed-upon start time.  And, I feel just as strongly that it is bad form to tell a client 'five more minutes' and then call them later so that they arrive 10 minutes late.
The other pet peeve is the provider who has set the clock in the room 10 minutes fast.  This happens way more often than it should.  Combined with the late start, a guy could be getting 40 minutes of service and I don't know too many providers who would be willing to take two-thirds of her hourly fee.
Bottom line.  Let's all be considerate out there.

-- Modified on 8/28/2006 9:04:19 PM

I hate to show up late for anything. What if there's traffic or a car wreck or a train in the way, etc.? I allow about 15 minutes for contingencies.

I wouldn't get upset by the first call asking if the date is "still on". Nothing worse than showing up and then being told "Oh, I forgot".

However, I'd also never try to wait outside the door. Wait a considerable distance from the entrance, out of sight, and then await her phone call.

As to the guy who told Vanessa it "wouldn't work out", he may have been trying to rush in his appointment or he may have become nervous about waiting around.

Both have to respect each other's time and both also have to allow for the possibility that one party or the other could get "spooked" by circumstances or perceived lack of cooperation. IMO, communciation is key. Just don't call so much that you become a nuisance.

I agree with the circumstances behind your post and an idiot that is 20 minutes early. Then decides he is leaving. WTF Totally agree.

Got interested enough to click on your link and take a peak. Oh what the heck just read the last review. I raving review, so obviously you are very good at what you do. However, you were 30 minutes late!! That client was not bothered by it, but I would be and would have pulled out after 10 minutes.

Just so we understand is has and will always work both ways.

This doesn't apply to the hundred dollar hookers turning a dozen tricks a day. A married hobbyist (the majority) risks his family and job/business every time he engages in this hobby. We're subject to real time influences and sometimes need to make adjustments. The elite providers (the subject of this post)have a duty to be where they need to be and ready for action 30 minutes before the appointment so that we can be accomodated if need be. You are commanding big dollars ladies and regulars pay the bills, you should be going out of your way to adjust to our needs. In the real world that I live in, a happy client is money in the bank...

Oh, I know, I had been pushed up late by someone else arriving late and so asked politely to let him know when he arrived rather than leave him wondering.  It's hard to try to be pulled between clients and keep everyone happy when other people throw you off.  Fortunately the client who wrote the review had originally hoped for an appointment even later than we scheduled (the last one of the evening), and I did give a much longer appointment (well over 2 hours for the cost of 1) due to the fact that we started late (I had thought I would only be 10 or 15 minutes late until I heard the shower running on the first client for nearly 15 minutes, and though I find that ridiculous, I do find it awkward to go into the bathroom and say "can you get out of my shower please").  

I was going to respond to an earlier post about a client who said that if he entered the room at a certain time he expected the appointment to start at a certain time, and I was going to say that the only reason why I would ever be late to an appointment is because another client makes me late.  I would never consider answering the phone during an appointment, but in the event that a client causes me to be late for someone else's appointment, I will always let them know that I have to text or somehow let the next client know when they arrive.  Then the other client has the option of staying knowing that I have been put behind or going ahead with the rest of their day without sitting around wondering what's going on, and if they stay I will in fact end late if I start late.  In my case given that this is massage that is a much better solution than discounting a portion of the time, as typically with massage time is far more important than money.  That can throw off my entire schedule for the rest of the day, so again, please arrive (and leave) on time.  A few extra minutes for the shower is no big deal, but really, you cannot expect to stand under the hot water like you're in a day spa for 15 or 20 minutes.  The only reason you can do that in a day spa is because once the massage is over other employees take care of you, and the therapist is freed to go on with the rest of their schedule.  There is only one of me, and that's why as an independent provider I cannot be early, and I cannot be late.  Call that "assembly line" if you want, but any massage therapist has scheduled appointments, and anyone who wants to arrive earlier I am happy I to schedule for earlier.  If someone wants to take longer, I will be happy to schedule longer.  Please just honor the time and the length of time that you schedule once the appointment is made.

And yes, I do try to leave "buffer time" in between appointments.  Unfortunately given that there are many clients in some cities and few hours in the day, I get enthusiastic pressure to "fit me in, please" all the time.  And often by the end of the day even "buffer time" gets chewed up by all the outside forces that throw the schedule late.

I am happy to set an appointment any time of the day between 8 AM and 10 PM, an extremely open schedule in which I do nothing each day I am scheduled but focus on my clients.  When visiting a city I don't have the option of focusing on socializing or my personal needs at all and very often end up eating "breakfast" at 4 PM or later.  As opposed to an escort who even though she is an "elite provider" may well still find a few extra moments left over at the end of an appointment, I give EVERY scheduled minute to each client, because this is massage, and in my case legitimately quality massage.  

Would turning down appointments also be a wise fiscal decision?  Or randomly choosing which complete stranger to schedule versus not schedule, sight unseen, not knowing of course who will actually show up and who won't?  Was the subject of the post "regulars", given that I travel all over?  My regulars are scheduled and have always been treated with topmost priority.  But the client who showed up and left was brand new, and he of course caused me to not be able to schedule a different client who also requested the exact same time, and that second client also of course had no other time that he could see me - Murphy's Law wouldn't have it any other way.  So the other client and I both in all likelihood missed out on a wonderful appointment because the first guy utterly wasted the opportunity.  

I had always imagined that the definition of "regular" was a known client that you had seen before and was now actually on the table at least a second time?  How that could describe a new guy who shows up really early, calls repeatedly (asking for the room number 20 minutes early, btw - "are we still on" was only what he said before asking for the room number), and then leaves at the actual time of the appointment, leaving me up early for no reason and with a hole in my schedule that was already requested by someone else?  

I am more than happy to see a client 30 minutes beforehand.  All he has to do is schedule the appointment 30 minutes beforehand.  I have had expensive haircuts and massage as well as other types of luxury services, and eaten in extremely expensive restaurants at times that were reserved.  I have been to concerts and events that I paid top dollar for that started at a particular time.  The only reason why the option to arrive early at any establishment exists is because other members of the staff whose sole purpose is to assist early guests to comfortably WAIT are available.  I don't think that if a client schedules an expensive massage at a resort hotel at a given time that he will be meeting the therapist or on the table early for his appointment, and strictly therapeutic massage at luxury establishments can very nearly approximate the fee for FBSM with a quality provider.  As I said in my first post, he may well be invited by other staff to come in early, so he can sit in the jacuzzi and lounge around in a robe and slippers.  But he will be on the massage table at the appointment time, not 30 minutes before.

Glad to see some COMMON BUSINESS SENSE expressed!
It's a buyers market! And has been for a long time! It's about time that those of us who are PAYING THE BILLS get treated like it!

ReAMN RIGHT!

Regarding being an "elite provider":  when traveling it is VERY common given the expenses to need at least three appointments per day in order to make any profit whatsoever, as everything from the first two appointments goes to hotels, parking garages, etc.  I know that the rates seem like we're just rolling around in rooms full of cash, but it actually does require scheduling with more than one person in order to just break even.  All the clients scheduled cannot just show up 20 or 30 minutes early, or whenever they feel like it.  There are other clients that the provider is being considerate of and treating just as well as you expect to be treated throughout the day.  There are also peak times of the day, so while it would be the provider's choice to schedule things spread out throughout all those hours, quite often the bulk of clients request the same small window of a few hours.  My personal preference is the last appointment of the day, when I can throw out the clock and just focus on the feel of the massage.  Most clients think that the first appointment of the day is the best, and that may be true for full service, not massage.

Regarding it being a "buyer's market", that's true, when the buyer can easily find what he's specifically looking for.  If a particularly rare service isn't provided sufficiently elsewhere and is nearly impossible to find, standing around with fistfuls of cash won't make it appear.  There is a big difference between services promised and services actually delivered, and sometimes all the ads and pretty pictures make it seem like there is more real quality out there than there really is.

We are supposed to be ready 30 minutes early???? Give me a BREAK. If you honestly think that WE are not also running a risk, think again. What, do you think that providers magically drop out of the sky with NO families, NO friends, NO professional life of their own?? I have news for you - we have all the trappings that make this hobby a risk on both sides of the envelope.

Regarding your absolutely ridiculous notion that we ought to be ready 30 minutes prior to your session, think again. It seems to me that you think we ought to be getting on our knees in abject gratitude and humility because you were kind enough to deign to see us. Look buddy, I love what I do. See the name? But I gotta tell you, for every one client that I agree to see (I am very selective) I have told half a dozen other men no.

The problem here is that you evidently think that a provider has NO life outside that 60 minute time frame you have booked her for. No other job (some of us have those), no other clients (some have those too)....and therefore can drop everything and see you anytime you please. You aren't ordering a pizza here.

I don't know what "real" world you live in, but here in the real world everyone else lives in, a provider is a human being, worthy of respect, and her TIME deserves to be respected. If you can't handle that, perhaps stamp collecting would be a more appropriate hobby for you.

-- Modified on 8/29/2006 9:42:41 AM

I'm not a huge stickler for early/late but my commitment is to be there when I'm supposed to be and if she's not there or not ready I'm okay as long as the delay is not long and she's communicating with me that I'm not waiting in vain. How long one waits depends on how tight is one's schedule and how patient one is.

If you aren't there when you are supposed to be and ready to begin - whether we are talking about the hobbyist or the provider - you have nobody to blame if the other person doesn't wait on you. Your best hope is to communicate and ask for patience and hope they understand.

There will be inconsiderate jerks in any business. In this business, there will also be people afraid of getting "caught" if they have to wait around in a suspicious manner.

Good communications and some patience should solve over half of these situations.

I happen to be in the service business myself. We don't command $300.00 to $500.00 an hour, but if we did, I'll gaurantee you'd be accomodated to the highest degree. We provide great customer service for a rate far less and try to make every customer a regular customer. Don't take this or make this personal, it's an underlying sentiment felt by many hobbyists and if you take it constructively, it may help you. You'd have to be blind to not acknowledge that there is keen competition amoung providers for clean, generous, gentlemen. That's the category I fall into. I don't accept rude behavior and wasteing my time is the rudest of insults...

Love the moniker-  but your response to this is totally out of line.  This is a JIT business.  The lady opens when the date is set for, and not earlier.  

If I contract to deliver on a date, and I jump that gun- I HAVE TO PAY THE WAREHOUSE BILL.   After that date- It's the recipient's look out!

Where is a a lady going to warehouse a stupid john ( that's mark of a john- a hobbyist would know and behave accordingly)?

I want to be walking in the door on time though. If you get the call when the clock stikes 12, there's going to be a 5 to 10 minute lag time. To be "on time" means the lady needs to be ready prior to the time appointed and the call made before as well. Maybe it's not important to some, but in this day of instant communication with your civvie friends it's difficult to dissappear and the problem grows as the time grows. I actually don't have a problem with this anymore, my favorites know how I feel about the subject and have responded accordingly. Providers that wish to push the point are certainly entitled to do just that, just as I am entitled to see someone with a higher degree of professionalism.

I certainly respect your time, but your first post basically stated that you don't have a great deal of respect for the provider's time. Do you seriously think that expecting her to be ready to go at least 30 minutes prior to your appointment is realistic?? Particularly in the example that started this thread, where the appointment was an early morning appointment. Basically what you are saying is that you expect to come and go when you please, and its her job to turn herself into a pretzel to accommodate your whim.

It just isn't that simple. No matter how much I love doing what I do, and I definitely do - neither you, nor any other man that I see represent all that my life is. Meaning I'll fall in love with you for an hour, or two hours, and during that time, you bet, I'm going to blow you away and have a great time doing it. But the time before I open my door to you, and the time after you walk out the door belongs to me.

If you show up half an hour early, I guarantee you, I'm not going to be ready to see you yet. If you get there 10 minutes early, I probably would be ready, but if I'm not, I'll sit you down, offer you a drink, and excuse myself to finish my make-up or whatever it is that needs to be finished.

I grant that a provider who lines clients up assembly fashion and sees one after another is a problem. I certainly understand a man's point of view at the unpleasant realization that he was #6 that day when he arrives 10 minutes early and bumps into #5 for the day who is on his way out the door.

I challenge you to find a professional in ANY field who will drop everything to see you in advance of your appointment if you show up half an hour early. That would not be an easy task. If you don't believe me, put it to the test. Show up at your next dentist appointment half an hour early. You'll spend half an hour in the waiting room.

You suggest that I take your input contstructively, but perhaps you ought to consider the provider's point of view. Lets say I have an appointment with you at 3 pm. That means that by 1:30 pm, I am starting to get ready to see you. That allows me to be ready by about 2:50, ten minutes before I expect you to be there. If you show up on time, our session would likely last until about 4:15, which is a typical one hour session for me. After you leave, it will take me about another hour to shower, and clean up. So, for your one hour appointment, I've blocked off roughly 4 hours of my day. That may not be typical of all providers, but for a low-volume gal who sees no more than 1-2 clients a day, that is pretty typical. But what you are saying is that, that still isn't good enough - I should be ready to get freaky with you at least a half hour earlier than that, and of course, waste that 30 minutes doing nothing once I am ready to go, when instead I could have done any number of things before it was time to get ready to see you. If I had no life outside of providing, this would be feasible. Since I do have a life though, it simply won't work, and I wouldn't expect it to work for any other lady either.

Now that makes even LESS sense. In your first post you stated the provider ought to be ready at least half an hour early for your appointment. So in other words, you think a provider ought to be ready to go half an hour early, so that she can cool her heels and waste her time for no reason.

Gee, you sure don't ask much hon. A 10 minute window is reasonable, but thirty minutes?? Give me a break.

We really don't have anything to argue about LMJ, it's a matter of respect that has to run in both directions. Personally, I'd never show up 30 minutes early or late. I respect my friends and they respect me. I've had the occasional bad experiance that comes with the territory and I understand the world you live in. 30 minutes was extreme, 15 minutes isn't, for the reasons I stated regarding the scheduling of vanished time. I wish you well, and all the rest of you also. This a great hobby and has made it possible for me to remain with my family. I wanted to point out the frustration sometimes experianced by the hobbyist, whether you agree or not with our need for precision, you at least now know how many of us feel.

You don't need to explain yourself. You are not in the wrong. Some clients think the world revolves around them or they are the only one's you see. Not showing up at the right time throws the whole day off and you are the one that suffers not them.

If you're there early, wait in the lobby or somewhere.  If you're there late don't expect to be able to stay late - These ladies have lifes of their own and their time is at least as valuable as yours and needs to be respected.

This is a business for us, too, and we also have lives and other appointments to keep. You may be spending the money, but I am certainly working my tail (pardon the pun) off for you, too. We are not a commodity. We are human beings. We need to have set schedules also (just like you guys).  Common sense and professionalism is always good, and if someone is going to be late, then he or she should call ahead. Usually I prepare myself early just in case, but when an appointment is set for a specific time, I don't want someone showing up at my door until that time. I have things to do, too, and perhaps I plan the time around my nosey neighbors being gone. Now, if a gentleman wants to call me if he's running early and can I accommodate him, then that's fine. Do you show up to a doctor's appointment early expecting to be seen early? No! When this happens, do you think the world should revolve around you? Give me a friggin' break.

This post is an insult to us ladies and a throw-back to the old prostitution days that women don't mean anything to men. You guys are the exact types I wish to stay away from, thank you. And Ben Dover, I'm surprised with your attitude lately. You used to seem like a nice guy.

Hugs,
Ciara

and 30 minutes is ridiculous. Also, remember that I want to be fresh when you arrive. If I have to wait another 30 minutes, then I'll definitely want to wash again. I'm just anal that way, thank goodness for you guys.

Hugs,
Ciara

. . . rather than I hour, providers who plan to entertain for 45 minutes should say so in the ads. I saw one ad that says $250 for 45 minutes; that's being honest.

Imagine that,the topic for the most spirited discussion I've read so far on TER is about time, money and common curtesy among people attempting to do business together.

Maybe I'm not the right person to be playing referee here, but I do own and operate a business and these same subjects are major issues there also. So, after walking the walk and talking the talk for 15 years, I do feel qualified to add my .02s worth.

Just like my business, most if not all of these type problems stem from communication or lack of it. Most meetings are preceeded by at least some communication, at which time it would be appropriate to discuss things like, "I am on a very tight schedule this week, please be precise in your timing", or "It is my practice to start our time together upon giving you the second call". From the hobbist side, the same issues can be cleared up by simply asking "How do you normally handle time issues?" or by also being very clear about any time issues you may experience or have concerns about.

Another thought that comes to mind, is perhaps we should attempt to create some type of "hobby standard or guideline" here on TER to help get expectations on either side to the same level. Such as When should the clock start?

The other issue is common curtesy. Anyone in the business world is very used to dealing with changes in schedule. We are people living in an active world. Unexpected things happen that change schedules, its simply a fact of being human. The curtesy of being as flexible as possible between people doing business, is not only required but is simply the right way to treat people you wish to associate with.

If it can't be resolved easily and quickly, then maybe a rescheduling will suffice. Who knows, but the point is we need to be understanding of each other to make this hobby work.

It's a subtle way of saying without saying when it's time to wrap it up.  Do you have any idea of how many "gents" think that last five minutes is the perfect time to begin another round?!?

Since I always invite friends to join me in the shower after our time together, and then there's usually a bit of chat... it's often 15-20 minutes *after* the appointment is over when they leave.

Base your opinions and assumptions on the lady and how she makes you feel, as well as how she actually manages your time, not on what the clock says when you walk in the door.

; )

BTW  That was my best " can't we all just get along " speech.  LOL

Some of these gals have it figured out, others don't have a fucking clue and never will. They'd rather argue than improve their service. EROS is full of paid ads that when you call, you get some bitchy cunt on the other end of the line. I don't get it! The ones that realize that the customer holds the cards are the ones that do well, the others fall by the wayside. Que' Sera  

but merely trying to state that both genders need to see both sides of the fence (and which I agree). Many of us are time-conscious because we have to be due to lifestyles, other work, family, etc. We're not talking about a mere 10 minutes. You said "30" my dear. Yes, a simple phone call saying that you are early and if you can come by is okay, but not just showing up on someone's doorstep that early. We are business women, not just toys. If you wish to think of us as prostitutes then fan away, but we still have businesses and lives to run, thank you.

I've also owned my own businesses and been in the corporate world for many years before this occupation and also feel qualified to comment on this subject matter.

Communication is key, but your attitude and reference to "cunt" shows me your lack of class and understanding, and you are certainly someone I'd like to avoid. Too bad because I love the group "Pink Floyd."

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 8/30/2006 5:22:12 PM

I'm always a little early for my appointments, I don't care if it is a provider, dentist doctor but I don't expect to be taken in before the schudeled time.

as for the attitude of some ladies in this business, I do not. If the shoe doesn't fit Cinderella, don't assume you have to wear it. I'm sure that all hobbyists are not charming princes, I wouldn't feel offended if you were to point that out. As for not wanting to see me, I'll try to get over it. Feel free to contact any of my reviewees to see if I'm what you think I am.

Hugs,
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon....

Yes, then you used the C-word that every female on the planet hates. A pattern is emerging that is well, not flattering. Any man that would refer to any woman that way is not a man I would care to be associated with for any reason.

and I'll let you know if you have to bother watching out for me.  

I don't have to bother watching out for you, no worries. Geographically speaking if for no other reason.  

Thank you for the request to post my website, but I'm afraid I must pass. If I wanted my identity known, I would not have used an alias.

Rest assured, I'm your average lady who happens to love what she does. I don't expect to see very many 9's on looks, but I get them consistently on performance, and that is more important in my opinion.

I have yet to see a review that starts off with "She was running a few minutes late...", and I don't expect to ever see one. I have however, had a review that started off "I was a few minutes early, but she invited me in anyways....". But you'll never see THAT written if you show up half an hour early.

Toodles