This topic has bugged me for years, eventhough I have no kids and do not plan on having any.  Maybe I drifted off into some zone of philosophical inference.  But here goes.  For those of you who have kids.

-What you you say if one of your kids told you that he/she was going to become a provider?  Would you try to deter them?  If you did not try to deter them, what advice would you give.

There are cases where parents (especially male parents) will introduce a son to hobbying as a rite of passage to manhood.  But the issue of a child becoming a provider upon adulthood, for me at least, caused me to have to confront directly some deep seated, hidden beliefs that I had about what we do.  And as I said, I do not even have kids.

If my daughter was doing it for the money, no doubt I would intervene.  But if it was something she wanted to do--something that was a part of expressing her own sexuality, that would be different.  Once my daughter is an adult, my job isn't to steer her life, it's to provide her the perspective of time.  I want to help her avoid mistakes that she will deeply regret later in life, not make her choices for her.  

It's kind of like a tatoo...  If you're getting one that expresses a phase you're in today, you'll regret it tomorrow.  So if you're going to get one, make sure it's one that reflects the really core values within you, the ones you'll still want to be expressing when you're 70.

So all of my discussion with her would focus on that issue...  Does this fit your own (not mine, yours) image of who you want to be?  Is this something whose appeal is passing, and you'll look back on with regret?  Also, because of this perspective issue, my attitude would be VERY different if she was doing this at age 21 vs. age 35.

As hobbyists, we have to get over this internal idea that the hobby is less than honorable.  To imply that my daughter being a provider is in some way demeaning to her or makes her "less" than what she could be...  What would that say about us hobbyists?  I have so much respect for some of the providers I've met.  Honestly, would many of you dads out there be that upset if your daughters turned out to be even half the people some of the providers on this board have turned out to be?

Here's the tough questions...  If your daughter was a provider, would you (a) tell her you are a hobbyist, and (b) read her reviews?

I doubt that any teenage or adult child would ever seek their parents permission or even talk about it.

As for myself, I was in my late 20's when becoming a provider.

IF my daughter wanted to do this when she is OLD enough to decide...YES I would support her.

I have a wonderful flow of gentlemen I see, and I see no problems in her doing the same thing.

I am a liberated woman and if she wanted to do this I would be happy..and if she wanted to do something else...guess what..I would support her the same way and be happy for her.

It is her decision and her life.

Shaye

Hello Shaye,
I have been reading your comments on these boards for a short period of time.
GUESS WHAT?
I believe you are telling the absolute truth.
I do believe that you are a very real person.
You have my respect.
Have a super day and a better tomorrow!
TF

TF,

I have had the honor and pleasure to know Shaye for some time now.  She IS a very honest and real person; and a great person to call a friend.  Glad to see that you have realized what many of us have known.

Take care,
Ken

How sick is that?

I second that.

This is true even if I smoked dope.

SP

"If your daughter was a provider, would you (a) tell her you are a hobbyist, and (b) read her reviews?"

I think I would answer both questions with a no. Reading her reviews would be like discussing her job performance with her current employer, kind of an invasion of her privacy. Telling her I was a hobbyist might be a mistake, given that my wife does not know that I am a hobbyist.

I would agree with your comment that your attitude would be different if she was 21 vs. 35. Seeing a young lady in your fair city, whose personality was exactly like my daughter's, kind of made me stop and think a little.

I would only be repeating what many others have already said.  Just look at her great numbers, the full menu of services that she offers, and the juicy details in the reviews.

Enough said,
Ken

I had one favorite (Faye Desiree, deceased), whose daughters discovered Mom's secret. They seemed to be OK with that but not inclined to follow suit. At least, that's the way it seemed in a British TV documentary on California Escorts, for whatever that may be worth.

to enjoy what your provider gives you, do it repeatedly, and not be open to it as an acceptable practice, even for your own daughter.

However, most people are hypocrites, so I expect the concept would upset many.  In my mind, if she wasn't bothered by the requirements of the job, the clientele, and if she was safe, WTF.

Aren't parents supposed to always offer the high road, even if we don't always follow it ourselves (the old "do as I say, not as I do" expression)?

Assuming age is not a factor, I would like to think that I could be supportive, but who knows. On the other hand, I am absolutely certain that I would continue to love her and be "there" if needed. As to the "dope dealer" comment, dope dealers make their $ by destroying lives.

Chrissy, I just could not disagree with your post more...  You clearly categorize being a provider as the "low road" and I refuse to accept that.  Many of the providers I've had the opportunity to meet are clearly on the high road.

Provider = Dope Dealer?

I'm not sure that extending the argument out to include all "socially shunned" behavior works.  Many of the fine providers here are in the biz because it is an expression of who they are, not just to make $ or be exploitive.  I have trouble believing that many dope dealers are in it because it "who they are."

Again, every argument I've seen presented in this thread starts with the underlying premise that being a provider is somehow "less," is demeaning or negative in some way and I just can't accept that.

Another angle: a huge proportion of drug abuse in this country occurs using prescription drugs, and I wouldn't feel bad if my daughter was a doctor or pharmacist.

I think I could safely say that if I was a coal miner, I wouldn't want her to aspire to that either.  I wouldn't want my child to be a provider and can justify that with the reasoning that you always want better for your children than you had for yourself.  The job is physical, potentially dangerous and takes a certain type of personality to engage in.  And I am giving her opportunities to grow that will enable her to work in a field that is socially and legally acceptable - 'nuff said.

Let me start by saying that I have the highest respect for the providers I have met over the years.  As a human being that needs physical attention and companionship, they have fulfilled my needs and have given me a sense of well-being.  And, if my daughter was mature and independent, I would have to respect her career choice that she makes, be it this or any other profession.  

The biggest hurdle for me, however, is the fear factor of several issues that haunt this industry: 1) Legal issues  2) Crazy people  3) Health issues, i.e. STD's.

I appreciate the vunerable position that the ladies put themselves in when meeting clients.  Being a protective parent, I would not want my daughter to have to face those circumstances, given a choice.  It is not a matter of high road or low road.  Also, I would not let her know that I was a hobbiest, nor would I wish to read her reviews.  And most of all, NO, I would not book with her!  That, to me, is sick!

Thanks to all the ladies I have met.  My respect goes to you.