Client that schedules me nearly every weekend dropped the 'I love you.' bomb on me last night after one too many drinks. How do I handle that?

I think it's crossing a line....I would not see him again just because I wouldn't want it to turn into a stalker or something.  It's a business, however, everyone has their boundries.

i would have "the talk" with him. sit him down and break it to him gently...

Honey,
We have a great thing going! We are great friends, we enjoy each other's company...and i value our friendship..the way it is. You cant change perfection.

I always try the gentle and easy way first before i just "break it down" and give him a dose of reality. Even then I try to be nice.

but, if he drops the l bomb after a few drinks..IMHO it doesnt mean anything..and i wouldnt read into it.

I hope others chime in on this discussion...for I am curious.

Now, in personal relationships? This explains why I am single. I hear the L bomb and freak the hell out..and run screaming.

Well, I really enjoy spending time with the guy. If things were different, he's someone I would date.. Maybe I should.

It seems to me this has to be governed by "situational ethics."  If he says it in the heat of passion or, as Khym says, after a few drinks, don't take it too seriously.  But since he's a regular and he says it as though he really means it, or repeats it ardently, then you can't do better than what Khym suggests.

You can either ignore it or marry the sap or........

FIRE the client & tell him you can't see him any more. No other choice.

He said it again as he dropped me off this morning. Maybe that's just part of the 'ultimate GFE' for the guy? I don't know whether to take it seriously, or if it's just part of the fantasy for him. Guys, unput?

As I was delivering the package she screams, "I LOVE YOU!!---> (face stuffed into pillow cumming, nails ripping sheets, pussy pulsing)--->r, mmphfff, cock....

Me, "Huh?" Damn! You LOVE me??

Sure...I love you too! It's all good!

(Thinking...I gotta magic wand!)

woohoo!

Her...."Your cock...."

(sssssssssssss...............sound of ego deflating.....slightly...)

sigh.

its all about the cock, man. all about the cock.

sorry.

I love you, too.....

I suppose it's possible for two people to "find" each other in this environment.

How difficult it must be, though.

Ya see....

I know how to stir......

Alright...

I need to go accomplish something.....

time to take this to the love goddess.

argh. i am merely curious if it is possible. i dont see how it is, as i follow a very strict code of conduct. Blurring of lines just causes drama, heartbreak and headaches...

we shall see who missteps first. lol.

i as well, have to log off for a bit.

xoxo

that is one thing. He might not even remember having dropped that bomb.

Two weeks from now, when he returns, you need to  have a short little talk about the bomb he dropped the last visit and get clear on things. Obviously  you can do this with all manner of courtesy and tact. That is, unless he is bombed AGAIN.

What ever the case forget the "I love you too" bomb, you'll both go down in flames.

As he gave me a smooch goodbye this morning, he did the 'Love you'. I did what every other girl would do.. 'Aww, you're so sweet.'

You have the every weekend relationship, making the development of genuine emotion a real possibility, then you have the alcohol, which is known for making stupid statements of its own.  Could go either way...

Within the confines of the hobby I have said those words to two ladies, and I meant it both times.  Not in any "till death us do part" kind of way, but a very real way nonetheless.  It needn't (and shouldn't) alter or interfere with our professional relationship, and it won't bring either of us into the others private life.  It is a relationship I allow myself a couple hours at a time on very rare occasions.  It's all about context.

last night when drinking and again this morning when sober?

Yeah, if I had to guess (which I don't have to but will anyway) he meant it.
He got the nerve to after liquid courage (aka booze) and when you didn't react badly he decided to say it again today to see what you would do.

Once while drinking it could have either been the booze talking or something he really felt...
sober the next day, chances would seem to be about 100% that it is what he really feels.

You probably want to proceed with caution...a lot of caution.

or when he's coming!.

not, if he meant what he said.

seems to me you already have your mind made up and you just want to see if you are correct in your way of thinking.

well, youre a grown woman. the choice is up to you! i am sure there are other circumstances in this matter we dont know about..

well, proceed with caution and good luck!!

just be careful.

I have a couple of clients that tell me that. I just reply "I love our time together also" This usually stops the conversation from going any further.

If he is an ordinary kind of guy who cannot love without desiring to possess and control then (unless you are up for that with him) you need clearly establish with him that that is not in the cards. Murky vagueness is cruel. Terminating the relationship is safest but if you think he is very well behaved you might consider putting him on a hiatus for say six months or a year or when he gets over it, maybe.

If he is one of those rare guys who does not desire to control or possess and/or has a self-sacrificing personality you may safely continue to see him. But make it clear how you feel or rather don't feel. Don't cruelly lead him on with "maybe someday....".

Very few guys are of the second type. Just a few percent. No one will fault you if it isn't worth your while to sort out if he is one of the rare one's who can still be trusted after dropping the L bomb.

I hope you didn't give implied permission for him to say that. Nothing like, "I'd want to hear ANY thing you have to say to me"?

get closed, it is time to move on; unless you are ready to settle down.

so just be honest with your clients and you wont have any problems.

it's the girls that think it's some kind of game to "play" on a guy's emotions in order to get more money out of him that find themselves getting stalked.

Unless the guy is a creepy, clingy, possessive type, he might just be saying that he cares about you.  Of course, he was drinking so that makes it likely that his inhibitions were diminished and more likely that he'd say something that is not exactly how he meant it.  I would not throw him under the bus for this admission of love unless he acts creepy when he's not drinking.

There's love, and then there's 'in love'. I've heard stories of providers who actually hopes this happens so they can take advantage of him in that state.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it.

I would say the alcohol is talking, not the client.....

I wouldn't take it too seriously and I wouldn't worry.  But, I would watch out for someone that could get a little too drunk...for Hobbiest and Provider!   I enjoy a nice Mimosa for sure..but, it's good to keep your wits about you!




Take care!

Girl, take the money!  It IS a business...and they are SUPPOSED to fall in love!

A smarter guy who realizes that he is probably being played that way is not likely to stalk. Likely, stalking wouldn't tell him anything he doesn't know. More likely he might simply make it known somehow how predatory she has been.

It is usually not in the interest of that kind of play girl to ever make things clear. She is supremely indifferent to any potential suffering she may cause. She feeds on ambiguity like a vampire feeding on blood.

The impossibility to communicate clearly about what the boundaries are business wise or personally is a good sign to avoid the person, whether client or provider.

whether client or provider use the L word and the there is some vagueness on the provider side about what that means to her that could be a problem. Couple that with increasing requests for gifts not in consideration of time.....

Only a fool would go stalker. Better to simply permit an opportunity for some clear communication. In general a person of intelligence who cannot clearly declare themselves one way or another is using maybes and possibilities as a game, as a lever, to extract the largest profit.

That is a good general rule. Of course there are rare instances when something else may be happening.

May be making feel good. No one really can tell you what or what not to do, entirely up to you.

I have said 'I love you' many times in the heat of passion, during the act.  Strictly my dick doing the talking.  I usually warn my provider that I tend to get vocal, not to take me seriously.
But this sounds different.......

The worst thing that can happen is you start to date him outside of the industry , then feel
an obligation to find other career because he
will have a "puss face" with your schedule and
be unable to handle you having intimacy with someone other than he.

So picture yourself wondering if there is a future with this guy , a disagreement arises and before you know it here you will be upset pissed and angry thinking, OMFG I lost so much money to him and the industry. F- this crap I'm back on TER. By then you may be dealing with him so pissed off that he wants to call  you out.

You're going to feel like he is watching you  telling his friends about you and possibly telling higher power.Don't take this risk.
Enjoy him and enjoy the fact that you can get into time with him but please for your own sanity don't do it.  

Ang

Ignore it unless he pursues it again when sober. Till then, it didn't happen.

In my mind the L word is crossing the line...  this is a regular whom you are overnighting with.  It's very easy to fal for a woman we have great sex with...  that's the protect to women & children hormones kicking in.  I have pulled myself up short once (mid sentence) with a provider...  my ATF...  
When we are together we are playing a role...  you ladies play this role so well it's challenging to separate the role from reality...  

There are many ladies who would refuse a client that professes his love for her & refuses to see reality.  A few would string him along & milk him for all he's got, before dumping him.  Unless you really LOVE him back...  and are willing to take this off the clock...  I suggest you rein him in.

I agree you love the time you have together.  But if he can't control this you'll have to stop seeing him.  
skb

They do that from time to time. Trust in yourselfand see the arrangement for what it is. P4P. They are hung up in the moment. The first time I was told, I pretended I didn't hear it. The next time a particular client was walking me to the door and he said it, I turned and said awww I wuv you too..Nothing more needed to be said..

If you two can manage to avoid expectations and attachments, you may have a chance for a good relationship which can teach you both a lot.

If you can't avoid expectations and attachments, then it's gonna get messy!

You gals don't really believe me, do you?

what am i? just another warm mouth eh?

oh yah. thats right.

lmao

i ken haz chezebrgr now? plz?

Judge him and the situation - Love to a teenager/20 something often means lovestruck, desirous of an exclusive ongoing monogomous relationship.  As we age, I think people find they can "love" more than one person - but not have the need to possess.  I "love" a couple favorites, but that means I just really connect with them as a person, enjoy their person and company in addition to hot sex and the physical relationship; but I also know the nature of the relationship and don't expect anything exclusive and know how to play within my budget.  I think I could live in a "together" relationship with any one of these ATFs, but have the maturity to realize its not going to happen, so I just enjoy the time I have with them since my income allows me to enjoy this.

I don't think you necessarily should run, just be mindful of the relationship and keep it professional - if the guy starts to expect/demand free time or incessently emails/calls (unless you also encourage/enjoy it), then its time to end it.  I have an ATF I'd love to just email exchange/chat/take to dinner more frequently than my paying visits, but unless she initiates and encourages it, would never go there as I respect the relationship and would never be the one to initiate any change.

He was drunk. Don't take it seriously.(IMO) I never believe what anyone says if they are drunk, high, erect, naked, or if I just bought dinner. But that's just me.


Taylor Fox

This is a two sided situation.....  First of all if he said it to you when he was sober then most likely he does Love you.  Next the question would be how do you feel about him.  After that what kind of LOVE is he talking about....  Is it the love of a friend who happens to enjoy some special benefits?  Yes it is as a client, but that is ok as long as the client line stays in place.  I have a couple of hobby friendships where we both have dropped the L bomb at one time or another.  That does not mean I want to move in with them and spend the rest of my life there..  Nor do they want that from me...  We ARE CLOSE Friends who happen to have met in the hobby. Yes there is a caring relationship but not a forever after one.  As too the how do you feel part that is something only you know and can answer to yourself with honesty.

DJ

Well said that was the point I was trying to make in my reply as well.