I first met my ATF about three years ago. Nine months later, I started seeing her a couple of times a month and for the last year have been seeing her once or twice a week. I continue to see other providers because I told myself to keep a distance and that I am just a client. But I cannot help it. I have come to love my ATF.
My ATF is a beautiful, intelligent, sexy and very classy woman. She does have a career outside this line of work and now works UTR with a few steady customers. She is a single mom with a young child to support. We have spent some time together outside our sessions and I pay her when we have a session. She shared with me a lot of her personal life, including having me meet her child. Last week, we were able to spend part of the weekend together and she told me she has met someone who may be the one she can build a long term, serious relationship with. I am very happy for her because she may now be able to quit this profession and create a stable family for her child. I was deeply affected by the news and the thought that she will soon be out of my life. She wanted me to eventually meet this person and give her my impression of him.
The thought has cross my mind to leave my wife for her but I know I can’t do that. It would be devastating to my wife and I do care about her well being.
I know what I need to do - move on and see other providers. I will eventually get over this but at the moment, I am heart broken.
I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. Maybe posting would help me heal.
A good place to share this would be on the forum, "The Erotic Highway." The Love Goddess, who, in real life, is a counselor, and a number of the other people who post there may be able to offer an ear, a shoulder, and even a kind word or two.
I think you have answered your own question. You said she has met someone she want s to spend her life with. Unfortunately this is not you. While she likes you a lot and may have deep feelings you are not that significant other she wants in her life. She respects your judgements and values your friendship but that is all it is. Accept it and move on as anything else will cause you and her more harm than good. Good luck in your life.
I know exactly what you're going through guy.I had a situation very similar to your's.Was with her for 14 months.Spent a lot of time with her on & off the clock.Was with her at least once a week.We both called each other often to discuss personal issues.We both used the "L" word to describe our feelings for each other.
We "broke up" 3 months ago due to my catching her lying to me about why she wasn't able to see me.To add insult to injury,after calling her out on the carpet about it,she actually had the balls to threaten to tell my wife about us! Needless to say,threatening me was the last straw.
Trust me,it will get easier with time.I was devastated for a while.Would think about her every day.Then,eventually I realized just how self-centered,cold and heartless she really is and that put everything into perspective for me.You've already won half the battle in knowing that you need to move on to other ladies.Here's hoping that your situation ends better than mine did. Good luck!
Just the opposite, a wise and mature person who recognizes the situation exactly as it is.
You need to grieve and heal, and from all evidence that is exactly what you are doing.
The advice to post this on TEH is very good. The Love Goddess is extremely intellegent and righteous (in a good way).
There are many of us out here who have gone through similar situations and the airing of these difficulties is beneficial for all.
You have also demonstrated the most telling aspect of love: To accept a loss for the greater good of the one you love.
On behalf of all of us, I thank you for sharing with us.
I hope you will continue to post on here. (Frankly - we need the talent, but don't tell anyone that I said this.)
You are a *fine* human being. You haven't lost. You've won. You have a true girl friend...who now may marry someone else. Why not - after all, you're married, too.
But, unlike most men, you've achieved a true friendship from this hobby. You can feel very proud of that.
Yes, it's painful now. But the pain is a measure of your achievement. There are worse things than pain. Would you rather have been shallow or indifferent? Real men feel pain.
Congratulations to you. I'd be very proud to have someone like you for a friend.
Yes, see some other providers, to ease your pain a bit. You're obviously a strong person. You're going to get through this just fine - you'll see.
There is no shame in falling in love, but you answered your question in your own post. Remember, as much as she may admire and respect you for what you have given/shared with her, she's in love with someone else. Whether you leave your wife is off the table as you have stated so your only course of action is to move on. If you truly love her, you'll let her go. That she has ties to someone else for better or worse, she must play this out; you cannot rescue her. As for your heart, time heals. I suspect that your wife already knows you play so don't go admitting guilt or some foolishness like that. People and ships pass in the night all the time. This may not be your winning goal nor is she the love of your life. She's someone who made you feel more whole for a time and now that time has passed. Move on today or risk ruining your life and hers.
-- Modified on 9/2/2006 1:58:35 PM
If you love someone, let them go. You've been privileged to be able to have such a reslationship with a provider. You're doubly provileged that she wants you to meet the guy that may be "the one." Yes, this hurts - it hurts terribly. But the thing about having a realtionship with a provider is that is builds character: you have to learn to love without possessing, to love altruistically; to be able to give without expecting something back.
You need to be the big guy here: you need to let love sweep over you to the point that you can graciously let her go. Try to be friends with her as time goes one. Remember, what's more important than love is respect --you must respect her wishes and desires.
Now you can be her confidant and mentor. Grow into that position.
Think about what a bigger and better perosn you'll be for this. Really.
Good luck
Time will heal. I intend to continue seeing her as long is she is willing to do so. I know she does value my advise and I will try to be a good friend and mentor.
We went out to dinner one night. She was dressed up and looked so glorious. Everyone (men & women) were staring at her. I still have these memories to keep.
Sex wasn't always great but it is the true GFE that most people were looking for.
The FIRST one that I fell for was highly intelligent (MS in clinical psychology). I know not why she is in this profession except that she wishes to be an actress and she views this as a means to an end. She helped me laugh at very difficult things... oh yea.... I fell for her big time... I even took a picture of her (in civie clothes) and carried it around with me....
I had it bad. She left the city I was in, and went elsewhere.... even quit providing for a while... but still keeps a hand in... Need I say more.... she moved on, but my heart had a difficult time of it! eventually I too, got over her... and yes, I have fallen for other providers.... some make me remember what having emotion in a relationship is all about. If you did not develop these emotions for some of the babes in this business, it would be difficult to call you human.
See her - and see her as a friend.... a highly respected friend... as it sounds like this is what is freely being offered.... leave you wife? only if the marriage is not working out.... but do not leave your wife for this lady, as she has informed you of her desires.... respect her wishes.
pm me if you wish to talk.