I am having a difficult time finding a great provider and I am starting to think that I am the problem. Before making a decision to see a provider I read their reviews. I only choose providers with an 8 average or higher for both looks and performance, and I'm not cheap. Anyway, I have read all the reviews about the mind blowing sex that some of these guys are getting from these providers but when I see the same providers I'm not having anywhere near the same experience. Now granted I have only been with 3 providers, but 2 of the 3 are known to be tip top yet my experience with them was rated about a 6. I am trying to figure out why. Could it be the fact that I'm about 40 lbs overweight? I just don't know. Do any of you providers have any advice?
I believe that it's natural. As a matter of fact, a few days ago, I was thinking the same question you have. You know "YMMV" After thinking, "YMMV" is my conclusion. Even if a lady is a top-notch, no one can have similar experiences, (I believe). In other words, I'd like to say, all the great/fabulous experiences in reviews are subjective just like aesthetic views are subjective.
Its good to know that u r cognisant about about ur lackluster experiences with providers and trying to remedy the situation. Your coercion with providers should be evident with ur accolade, especially since u r paying the big dough.
40lbs overweight should not be an element to ur lackluster experiences. How would u rate urself on looks alone? I am just asking questions and not trying to exacerbate the situation. Sex is an intimate occasion. Good hygiene is a practice that should be applied to both parties. Bad breath, bad teeth, haven't shave in the spots that r necessary, and other elements that might affect ur experiences should be taken into consideration.
Do u find urself physically unattractive by societal standards? Again, u didn't mentioned this aspect in your OP, and I am just trying to clarify somethings before applying my opinions.
If however, u r not attractive to societal expectations, and u r paying upwards to $600+ per hour (i would assume), and have taken proper good hygiene practices, then u might want to change ur demeanor towards providers because they might take advantage of u. U have to exert ur will to deter their erroneous ways of preferential selection. They r running a business, and a person's physical factor should not be a reason for their lack luster performance. It may be a classic case of YMMV, but u have to change ur demeanor towards them to effective gain ur expectations and money's worth.
In fact, I have no idea what you meant when you "wrote" "Your coercion with providers should be evident with ur accolade." WTF! There is no such word as "coercion." The word spelled coertion means to force someone to do something they do not wish to do. So even if you spelled it right you'd make no sense. And "accolade" means praise but what do it and coercion mean in the context of this sentence? I have no idea. The rest of your advice is sound but your continued use of Internet Pidgeon English makes it hard to read. It all makes you sound like a 12-year-old. You seem like a nice guy, but, please, grow up and speak like an adult.
easier to put it in that way. Good thing u corrected urself. coercion means to persuade to do something by force (hence, my "will" statement) and accodale means an award or privilege granted. Both used in a sentence meaning: well, he should impose his will to receive proper treatment because he "chose" and "paid" her and she should respect him for that and not treat him any differently.
I use those words b/c it wasn't so blunt and direct, those r common words that every1 should know and have in their vocabulary. I am not trying to make u lose ur comprehension in my OP. I thought that those words r words that every1 knew. Jezz sorry...
To make it a bit easier, I ask the OP to impose his will for his expectations because he is paying big dough and he shouldn't be taken advantage of.
You are succeeding! And what does "accodale" mean? I have no idea. In fact, this whole post is almost incoherent. See, here's the thing. If you mis-use enough words in a sentence, nobody knows what you're talking about.
Listen, I'm not gonna waste anymore time replying to these ignorant and idiotic replies. This is in no way helping the OP. Please, just pause a bit, and reflect before replying. Your first reply was about a misspelled word. U went off on a tangent for some apparent reason and replied to your own self, and then correcting urself. This second reply could be avoided if u took sometime to read the replied. I stated the definition in my reply. If u missed that, u r on the internet, look it up instead of asking me.
If u want me to dumb it down it bit to accommodate u, then I will next time I post. R U happy?
When they aren't hype they're products of chemistry, no real attraction to the client necessary on the part of the provider. A good provider likes to fuck or likes the thought of fucking strangers, or likes the thought of getting fucked by strangers (even ugly ones, sometimes the less attractive to her the better because its dirty), etc. etc.
Some clients think that they can arrive at a door, any door, and the magic is going to happen. Providers aren't miracle workers. If all of your experiences rate substantially lower than everyone else? Its probably you and it has nothing to do with how you look (unless you're inhibited by your self esteem).
Just because a person has $300 in their pocket and access to an attractive woman doesn't mean they're going to know what to do with her. I think you should probably consider whether you're truly comfortable seeing providers, factor in your level of experience with women and consider what vibes you're putting out to the girls you see.
and I believe that what the OP needs is to work on his own self-esteem.
He is walking into feeling "not good" about himself to start and is hoping that an hour with a lady will fix this problem. And he is finding out that this is a problem ONLY he can fix.
And he is believing that the reviews are factual and he should be having the same "great" time...but unfortunately he will need to learn that most guys DON'T have more than one pop, and that she probably won't have ANY.
Of course there are many guys on the boards here that are MORE than capable of having 3+ pops in an hour...and aren't shy to let us know that
It might be your weight or the "problem" might beyour expectations. Sex is sex. Yes there are different positions & angles & even activities which each has their own sensation. But EVEN if the provider brings her A+ game, the rest of it is up to you. Is your mind into it? Are you soaking up all the sights & sounds? You say you are 40 pounds over weight (so am I), that precludes or limits certain possitions. Your belly gets in the way (mine does) at times. Even with a rock hard erection, belly fat "shortens" the effective penis length. I do not know your situation but I have partial nerve damage & things feel different... good but different. So I ask you, (don't tell me, tell yourself) how much sensation CAN you feel?
In my case, I am feeling everything I possibly can with my Fav ladies. As a mature guy, I have learned to savor the experience, soak it all in. I get great pleasure not only from being the recipient but also in pleasing my partner... and knowing I am capable of that.
One last thought... What are you using for condoms? I have found it worth my while to purchase (sealed 3 packs) of premium thin condoms... my prefered brand & type. Our pleasure is caused by friction. If the condom does not move on the inside slightly, zero friction... zero sensation. The trick is to have enough lubrication & movement while still staying on. The movement on the outside, gives friction to her, not to you. Because the friction is split with condoms, the sensation IS less. Another alturnative is to find a provider willing to use Female Condoms. Since this discussion is probably not going to happen in advance... may have to see a lady more than once. FM condoms cost more. Try a search, it's been discussed before. Best wishes, J
depending on my mood, i do or don't have a good time. it has a tremendous impact on "chemistry". I could fuck a cow and be happy if I was in a good mood. If I'm in a bad mood, Angelina Jolie doesn't cut the mustard. Go figure. Hope you figure out how to have a good time.
A lot has been said already & most of it makes good sense.
No one here can tell you if it is you or not, because we have never met. Therefore, I have a suggestion.
Perhaps a highly reviewed provider could could help out. What if you were to contact such a lady and ask her to coach you how to have a better time. She could give you pointers before your visit and then during it too. You can tell her what your expectations are ( so as not to be disappointed ) and she can tell you what turns her off in a client. Believe me it is not likely to be the weight, height, age, build or race etc. If it was, most of us guys would be in deep trouble lol. Most often, it is the attitude and the hygiene.
If you live around NYC, I would recommend Gina Rollins who is hot enough, yet sweet enough, for the job. You could also post on your local BB, saying that you are looking for such a lady to evaluate you & coach you. I bet you will get good responses.
Thank you all for the replies. To answer a few questions, in the looks department I am an average guy who never had problems getting girlfriends. Honestly on a scale from 1-10 I am probably around a 7. I'd be an 8 if I wasn't 40 lbs overweight.
Despite me being a bit overweight I am generally speaking a very confident guy. I'm educated and am well respected. I can hold a conversation with anybody, and in fact I have had lots of good conversations with my providers(which worries me too). I look back at my provider experiences wonder if they are having long conversations with me just to pass the time/get the session over with. Normally I wouldn't think this way but because provider sex hasn't been great it makes me wonder. Btw, with the last provider I saw we had sex and then afterwards we talked for about 30 minutes..and after about 10 minutes of talk I'm thinking "when is she gonna start getting me ready for round 2?" Well, round 2 never happened, again making me think that there is something wrong with me and that she just wanted this to be over with.
I have always been very much into sex and I know what I'm doing in the sack. I think that part of my problem is that I'm having sex with a stranger and that because of that the passion is forced, but I also maybe worry too much about what my partner wants (I'm naturally a giver) , and because my partner is a stranger I might be worried too much about their likes and wants, therefore I am maybe being too apprehensive in the bedroom. . I don't know, I just know that the sex isn't coming naturally enough as it does with a real girlfriend. I can tell when real passion isn't there or when I girl is faking...and this is a major turnoff for me, and makes me more self conscious about the whole thing in general. I have read posts on this board from providers and how they fake many of their orgasms. Being the giver I am, I have to tell you that for me when I realize a woman is faking it ruins the experience for me. It makes me just want to finish and leave. Oh well.
I guess when it all comes down to it I'm not comfortable with having sex with total strangers, especially knowing that the person is there fucking me because I am paying her to be there fucking me. I am wondering if I should just approach hobbying with a different attitude than I would in a normal situation, more of a "Fuck it I'm going to get what I want out of this attitude". Maybe I should just approach it like I'm there to do what I want and get what I want out of it, and maybe the sex will naturally get better because of that?
I don't know what the problem is, I'm just trying to reflect on my experiences and sort out what the problem might be. That's the agenda. I am a confident person and great in bed, but perhaps not confident and great in a bed with someone I don't know/don't already have a connection with. The more time I have to reflect on it the more that I think I'm not exactly comfortable in a situation in which you walk into a room and drop your drawers in front of someone you never said so much as "boo" too and to someone who is only there because they are being paid to be there. It's a phony situation to begin with.
I'm also not an expert hobbyist either so I don't know what is going through the girl's mind, and I also don't know what my expectations should be. I also believe that I'm over thinking instead of over fucking like I should be. I'm starting to think that the best solution for me is to either approach these sessions with a different attitude, or maybe see a provider more than just once to see if chemistry can develop/get better over time. The problem is not that simple and is not likely to have a simple answer, but thanks for helping to figure out that it all comes down to me being ugly.
As mrfisher suggested below this just may NOT be a place for you to be playing. Questioning your looks...then retracting that comment and going off on an entirely different direction...and then coming back to the disillusioned sessions.
It sounds more like you need to march over to a dating site where you can meet some gals, do the dating thing and see if you can "connect" on some level that only YOU can actually define (as you seem to be all over the place on that in this thread).
The gals here will love you for an hour (or two) as long as you drop off the envelope. Anything more is merely part of the illusion. And trying to match your contemporaries on performaces they claim in reviews is just naive. As well as feeling like a gal is just NOT servicing you in some manner that you deem important. Hell...tell her what you are looking for. It's not rocket science...it's P4P and she'll more than likely do the job the way you may actually want it done.
But if you don't know what it is you really want...how in the hell is she supposed to know? She will do her "scripted" session as usual, and many guys really like that. But if YOU don't, tell her you want it changed up...and explain just what you need to not feel "ugly", "stupid" or anything else that I may have missed here.
Seriously, good luck with this. I know you will need it!
I didn't retract questioning of looks...it is just one factor, and a factor that I brought up in my initial post, but as I read some replies I got to more thinking. Anyway, as for moving over to a dating site, well sure, if you're looking for a more real and intimate situation then that's certainly the way to go about it, but yet really all I'm looking for in the end is mind blowing sex with no baggage, hence why I am going to see a Pro. But I am starting to question whether that is possible at least for me, to have great sex with someone I have no connection with. I think what I need to do is change my attitude. Stop over-thinking things and just try to have a good time. I think need to be more selfish in the sessions and take what I want for lack of a better term. Also, as others have suggested, go see a provider more than once. I'll try this stuff first...but you may be right, this just may not be a place for me to be playing. But damn I sure am attracted to it by #1, the hot girls, but also by #2, by the absence of any baggage.
***I know this thread is a little old but far more interesting than the many troll posts.***
Posted By: AmIUgly
. But I am starting to question whether that is possible at least for me, to have great sex with someone I have no connection with. I think what I need to do is change my attitude.
What kind of connection? Intellectual, romantic? While seeing escorts isn't a permanent solution to anything, you can get what you want out the provider-client relationship. It's about finding the right KIND of relationship with a provider who share your interests. If your budget can handle it, try hiring a lady by the day, weekend, monthly mistress-type arrangements etc? You cannot establish any connection in one hour- or even 3. My clients typically hire me 4 hours or more; these relationships grow rather intense...in a good way. Why do I cook for my clients? Sharing a meal is the universal way to bond. A man's touch is more pleasurable when given a chance to like him.
Give the best ladies another shot. When they realize you're interested in establishing a relationship, they will make more effort to keep you as a client. God forbid I say it, but you're not going to find everyone on TER. There are many amazing ladies who don't have reviews, especially on the higher-end range.
I do concur, that you may be over thinking it...and perhaps failing to express your needs to the providers you're seeing. Maybe hobbying isn't for you, or maybe you haven't found the right one. Be patient and don't let the ter numbers determine your choices.
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