Counting the money right in front of me...And if that's not enough, counting it twice...

Then asking me..."Is this for me honey?"

Nah....I brought that for your mom....

-- Modified on 6/24/2012 10:36:34 AM

i have to put on a condom...
Sorry, but it's true. ( just ruins the moment )
I know, I know, all the right reasons for doing so. ( still sucks )

I go up and she's not in the room but Housekeeping is.
I return to the lobby and call the agency.  They check, tell me she's there and I should go back.
I go up, she's still not there. Houskeeping is.
I call again from the lobby.  While I'm talking, I see a gal who looks sort of like her pictures walk by talking on her cell about how she'd just gone out to get some water.  I tell the agency I just saw her go in.  They tell me to go up in 5 and not to worry cuz I'll still get the full hour.  Duh.
I finally get into the room, she's pleasant enough but heavier than her pix.  Still acceptable, but I'm not in the best mood.
I take a quick shower, and, when I return she goes into the bathroom.
When she comes back, there's blood running down her leg.  Why she decided to shave her legs at this point I'll never know.  I point out the blood and she runs back to clean it off, then returns.
She's still bleeding, so back to the bathroom.
She comes back and starts to give me a BBBJ but she's still bleeding.  By the time I notice it, there are blood stains all over the sheets.
No surprise, I wilt.  She tries to revive me but can't and, in the final buzz kill, says, "I'm not a miracle-worker, you know," and suggests we end the session.  She was a $400/hr agency girl and she offered me $100 back.  I decided not to fight about it there and to deal with the agency instead (which did give me back another $100 on my next session).
Her final punch line was, "You're not going to give me a bad review, are you?"
The lesson here is -- Do Your Homework.  I set this up last minute with a good agency because her pix were hot.  But she had only a few reviews and they were lackluster.  I haven't let this happen again.

Most of mine haven't happened actually in the bedroom.  They usually happen beforehand... like with providers calling at the last minute trying to reschedule; things like that.  It's so much more difficult for things to go correctly if I'm not in the right mood before the appointment.

If I don't feel as if she is turned on as much as I then I am done. I must believe she is enjoying the session too.

Hi Mr, F,

.. @ the door because I'm disabled!! Lesson learned, in that I always tell the woman that I'm disabled, in my correspondence!!

A woman left what looked like her lunch in the commode!!  We decided not to start the session!! I still get the eeeeeews thinking about it!!

A woman straight out of the Twilight Zone!! Continuously checking out the peep hole & window for  a non-existent Uncle Leo!!  The session never started!!

Thankfully, Incidents like these happen very few & far between!!

My biggest buzz kill is guys who are just outright BORING..ones you literally can't tell if they like you or hate you, because you have to pull the words out of them. I should offer half hours just for that type, because I literally can't wait to be done.

jumps out of bed, runs to the bathroom, and the sounds of vomiting can be heard.

I guess we ought to look at both sides of the coin.

Here's mine, see if you can top it:

"Hurry because I think my boy friend's going to be here any minute now."

Probably BS from a provider trying to gyp me out of time, but very effective.

It was a very long time ago, before the internet age.  But I'll never forget it.

I never got off and then dressed so fast.

I'm sure they like u, they just want to spend the time with you, getting as many of your body parts into their mouth as they can. ( can't talk much when your mouth is busy ) Some times, "Silence is Golden"....

that are like 2 min into the act. I'd rather hear nothing at all.

Also when the provider passes out on you. Saw one lady and she went to the bathroom a few min after chatting. She was gone for like 10-15 min and I checked on her. She passed out in the bathroom. I think she was high and crashed. I made sure she was okay and carried her to her bed, tucked her in (and checked her pulse and breathing), and then left. Sucked!

Housekeeper and housekeeping cart planted right in front of the hotel  door.

The beginning of session phone call by the escort to tell whoever, that I'm ok. Then the end of phone call session from whoever, to make sure she's ok. This usually only happens with new providers

Counting the donation right in front of me, even before I ask "can I use the bathroom" Again usually with new providers.

When the provider tells me to put the condom on myself. Again, usually with new providers.

I have more, but this is enough for now

It was one she borrow from her friend because she was out of her own.  She had no lube either.  Yes, it was a fly by night BP chick over a year ago and one of the many reasons I don't see well reviewed ladies now.

I was with a lady and we were both buck ass naked and she was giving me a BJ when housekeeping walked in on us. She forgot to lock the bolt and the chain and we had music on and didn't hear her light tap on the door. Killed everything for that session.

without hurling on you!  But it would be considerate if they flushed when done.  I had a gal who was determined to get all of me down her throat and decided to go puke before trying, so we took a time out.  Funny.

Hi,

I had that happened to me once!1 The girl screamed @ the top of her lungs!! I felt like I was in a bad porn movie!!! It killed the mood!! ;o(

.....let's see we just had some pretty deep  convo before during after,  we've learned each other's bodies pretty well SEVERAL times. How much more personal can we get?

OOOHHH I get it you want FREE OTC time.

Yes i'm glad you think i'm cool, funny, awesome to hang around blah blah blah and that's what you enjoy my company so much .... hint that's why I want you to pay for more of it.  


What?

When  I was fairly new to  hobbying  I did a quick about face when she opened the door  ,  on a bait and switch at a cheap hotel with outside entry  .  Her pimp had a room a few doors  down   .
 He lost his buzz big time ,when he suddenly came out aggressively confronting me for the donation .
I consider myself fortunate he was an empty suit without wings .
No more visiting cheap hotels after that,  unless it's my room .  

 
 
 

A provider kept me waiting in the rain for a half hour, texting me every 10 minutes that she was almost ready.  Finally got the call to come on up  and she started screaming at me the moment I was in her doorway because my shoes were wet. I looked at her dumbfounded and left.

The best however was a civie that I met at a new freelance gig I was doing in LA.  She flirted with me constantly telling me how bad she wanted me but she was married and her husband kept in constant touch w/ her at work. Finally she invites me over to her place after work because her husband is working really late. Get to her place and start making out passionately on the couch which led to clothes coming off and us getting down on the floor right there next to the couch. I'm inside her for about two minutes when she reaches underneath the couch and pulls out... her husband's gun. It was empty and it seemed to turn her on.  Don't know how I did it, but I came about 20 seconds later and was out the door 10 seconds after that.

-- Modified on 6/24/2012 2:09:43 PM

Like she's trying to hurry me out the door.  And like I can flip the "cum" switch right on schedule...

And the ever popular, Please squeegee my shower.  Then the old Steve Martin routine " are you through yet?" with a weary German accent.  Really doesn't take much to kill the fantasy.

I've never experience upsell, because of TER, but I can't imagine what it s like to want to do something in the heat of the moment and to be asked for $150 on the spot.  Or in clams casino's world, a buck.

With my bad eyesight I was this as "pimp confronted me in Hell". Now that's a buzz kill.

I'm just very olafacotryily sensitive, I guess!  I had to stop dating a woman once that I really liked but couldn't handle the way her cooch smelled!

-- Modified on 6/24/2012 3:13:25 PM

after a 3 minute cbj and about 3 minutes of no friction mish!

I realize you would prefer a lady that is as into you ( she would have to be to be turned on) as you her, but you know, we never know what is walking through that door. You have chosen her on her services and her looks etc and already have that going for you.

So if she is not physically attracted to you or your personality, and she knows this about you or senses it, you would be okay if she "acted" the whole way through as long as she was totally convincing?

Good providers will give you what you need, no matter if they are drooling at the site of you or the exact opposite. I guess I want to know if it has to be real or an act.

You ask for my real name or worse yet, you are in my room when they slip the bill under the door and I walk out of the bathroom seeing you puposely reading my real name on the bill.  Now that's a buzzkill.

I figured all traveling providers had a separate identity, with credit cards and ID in another name.

I'm just curious.  To me, it seemed natural to do it under a false identity, for obvious reasons.  Given the number of different ways girls manage themselves in this business I wouldn't be surprised if they had different approaches to this, too.  Would love to hear.

Well, if shes that good at acting and if I can't tell the difference . Then it really doesn't matter. Thats another reason I almost always go back at least one more time if I believe we both enjoyed it.

I have always got mine handed to me upon checkout, or lately (with everything going electronic) emailed to me.

Sticking a bill under the door is something I have seen happen in movies. Never ever saw it in real life. Then again I am not in hotels every week, but I have been in hotels from time to time over the last 30 years, and have never heard of or seen "slipping the bill under the door."

-- Modified on 6/24/2012 1:44:39 PM

the bill slipped under the door!

(it was snail mailed in the old days and emailed now)

Maybe I'm the odd one, if that is actually a common practice, but like I said that is 30+ years of hotel experience.

...during the early morning hours and I find it there when I get up. If your OK with the bill and want it to be charged to the credit card they have on file from your reservation or from check-in then you leave the key in the room and go when it's time. Country Inns and Suites, Sheraton, Hampton Inn, Holiday Inn Express, Drury Inn and Suites, have done that when I stayed there.

I have never had it happen to me. I have gotten the bill at check in (if it is only for one night), at check out if I physically check out at the desk, mailed to me, and emailed to me.
I believe you guys. There are several of you saying how common it is. It has just never happened to me, or people I have travelled with. Weird.

Right.  Most of the hotels I've stayed in, from Motel 6s to four stars, slip the bill under the door in the early morning hours of the day you've chosen for check-out.

Or has someone been stealing my bills after they slip them?
I have been in various hotels in Hawaii, Arizona, California, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, New Orleans, Chicago, Indiana, Michigan, Ontario and British Columbia. And I have never had the bill under the door!

And I am on the west half of the county. Now a bit of disclaimer, I don't travel that often and I sleep in my car as often as not if I am alone with my travels.

Not that know of, ps.  I've been to hotels of all kinds in Hawaii, Cali, Florida, New Orleans, and Europe.  Most slip a bill under the door.  It's just a final charge list.  If you agree with it you don't need to check out at the front desk.  You really need to upgrade from the No-Tell Motel! LOL!

I can see where you are coming from though, I would not like it if I was paying good money and the guy or lady acted like she/he would much rather be somewhere else, or not even that, just not "into it and me".

If she likes you but is not attracted or turned on, she will give you a repeat performance. We are paid to please if it's within our scope to do so.

However, if it was too much hard work for her, even though she did a stellar job, you might find the next appointment hard to get or not at all. And I don't say this to you personally but in general. I have been in that very position knowing that half his excitement was dependent upon my reactions. Not wanting to let him down, I gave it my all, he was happy (or appeared to be) wanted to book again, but I could not, just was took too much out of me and the money, in this case was not worth it.

We all hope we can have some sort of a connection that is real, even in this fantasy land.

I have stayed in a few of those. They have always been full payment up front and get the bill at check in! There is no check out, except to leave the keys.

I am obviously outnumbered here by all these responses, but I honestly have never fucking seen a bill under the door in 30 years of hotel stays. No Ritzs or Fairmonts, for me, and I have stayed at Motel 6 and Super 8, but also many 2, 3, and a couple 4 stars. Everything from Days, Choice, Comfort, La Quinta, Ramada, Hampton, Holiday, Aqua and Aston, and others I can't remember. I think the next time I stay in a hotel I'm going to ask them for a damn bill to be slipped under my door so I can join the masses and not feel outcast!  

And I've stayed at Fairmonts, Ritz Carltons and Motel 6s.  I think you are just an anomaly.

Say something, anything, even if it's I something I might not like, just to know they are alive. Uggghhhh,

You could be Quasi-modo and I would love to fuck you on your posts alone.

"Are you in yet"...

Now me I make Quasi-modo look good with my pasty white skin covered with hair, huge gut, crooked teath and general over all ugliness. I even have a slight hunch.

How in hell would one even go about getting a fake identity and sure let's throw some extra charges on there of falsifying my identity?  WTF?  

It was a Marriott luxury resort golf course hotel.  I've ALWAYS gotten a bill slipped under the door in the wee hours of the morning and I never check out.  Just leave the key in the room and I don't stay in motels or anything under a 3 star.

I've never heard of anyone NOT getting a bill slipped under the door?

complete with fake SS card, DL, credit cards, etc.  Just use google if you want advice on how to do it.

but without hair.

nor do I have a sign on my door that says "Hooker." The hotels have no idea why we are there, and I don't use the same hotel within a six month period of visiting a city. I also don't see 3 guys a day. There is no need to have a fake ID to book a room...you are asking for more trouble doing so. I agree with Natasha as well...we pay taxes in our real names and most list it under "personal services" on a business license.

Sorry to say, there are far too many buzz kills, but for me —again sorry, sorry, sorry— condoms are one of the sure things in that department.  So I limit myself to activities not requiring them.

A lot of the bodyrub providers I see know that i like to DATY.  So if that's the case, why doesn't she tell me this before I book?