I have been a provider for about a year now. For the most part, I can say that it has been a great experience. I genuinely have enjoyed the work and enjoyed the clients. I've learned a lot from both. It's been fun and rarely felt like "work" to me.  This started to change when a client became a stalker. I've had harassers but never quite like this. He has been harassing me for months. He excessively texts/emails and drives by. He works in cyber security and has all the resources to get personal information. When we first met, he told me if anyone messed with me to let him know. That he has access to information that could ruin a persons life. He has all of my personal information. He says he is addicted and as someone is addicted to drugs, can not control himself. I've expressed that his behavior made me feel uncomfortable, that it was terrifying me and asked multiple times to please leave me alone. I've stopped seeing, communicating/responding with him and have blocked him. He continues to contact me through burner lines. I've lost confidence over these months and feeling depressed. I've been afraid to post my ad or see clients for a couple of months now. Any insight from providers who may be experiencing the same or have gone through this in the past? Any advice out there on how to overcome this?

can ruin you and your career, to say nothing of your peace of mind.

Often, totally cutting off contact is enough to get a person off your back, but it can take a few weeks if not months.   You don't say how much time has passed but you should give it at least a few weeks and see if his activities die down.  You might want to go totally black and pull your ads and even your TER profile during this period (TER is generally helpful in these circumstances and will restore your profile when you wish.)

 
If these things don't work, your next step ought to be to a lawyer who can assist you in options to take.   You have info on him and he has a high security job.   You can not blackmail him of course, but there are legal ways to make him realize that actions have consequences.

 
Best of luck to you.  Let us know how the situation plays out.

and is any way he is using the programs that they have available for his benefit you can definitely get a lawyer, and he would be in BIG trouble. Because the one is blackmailing is him... not you.  
You don't have to say your like of work.. but there's ways.  
Regardless of the security clearance that he has...  (TS//RD) , (S//FRD), Top, Secret or Confidential he is using it on personal matters, not in an investigation.

should be able to take whatever screening information you have for him and find out a lot about HIM.  Then you can share the info you got with him, and propose that if he forgets about you, you will forget about him.  As TV says above, if he's abusing his access to non-public info at work, just letting him know that you know will probably be enough to get him to stop in my experience.  

This might sound like to easy answer, but have you considered visiting the police?  Stalking is a crime.  Maybe a visit with a police detective would change his ways....

I believe there are organizations specifically catering to stalker victims.

I would also recommend reading Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear.  He's not a big fan of restraining orders ... thinks they are counter productive, etc.  (Available at Amazon -- Kindle for $7.)

1. Call the police and explain everything because somebody like him will eventually turn even scarier like kidnapping.

2. Report him to the company he works at and point out how he is using company resources to stalk a civilian.  Most respectable companies would press charges against to protect their own ass.

Good luck, I have met some of the nicest girls with this hobby and hope none of the providers have to deal with any of these situations.

LIARS LOL. They never can find shit.  

They're always liars. I don't see ppl who have jobs that are "too secret to discuss".  

Reason being is most of the time they're lying, and second they use it to get into your head.  

He said that to you to keep you from asking questions and to get into your head so exactly this would happen.  

POS. Send his info to all if your friends and start fucking with him.  

Usually the talkers aren't the doers. I think he's lying but if you feel more comfortable yeah maybe get a lawyer and start asking questions.

END OF MESSAGE

First, sorry you are going through this..

Second, sounds like you have done this, but be clear that he is scaring you and you want space and privacy. There are plenty of other options for him and it would be best to part ways. If he does not listen then you will get a lawyer and obtain a restraining order and report him to authorities. (Did you hear about the lady who was just awarded a big settlement in a stalking and outing case in Colorado?) Maybe even Google it and reference it. If this does
Not work..

Third, out him, black list him, share his name and contact numbers and emails.and names on the ladies only sites, black list him. You should probably do this anyway.  He needs to know that you and others do not approve of his behavior.  

Fourth, may need to consider your screening process and shore it up. Some ladies go through a name/branding change too, it's a pain in the ass, but might be worth it.

You said he drives past...does he know where you live because you host there or because he found out by being nosey and disrespecting your privacy? If you host at home I would encourage you to stop. If You  rent, can you move? It's a hardship, but you are more important!  

Anyway, just my two cents. Peace and best of wishes to you.

I am new too and leery about letting people get too close in my personal life, knowing things about me, and I am extra picky about those whom I allow to come into my personal space. You have to be very selective about who you see and where.

 Before inviting anyone for an incall at your personal residence feel them out first. Dont give out your address. just direct them to a landmark that's near and direct them to your place on the phone, or better yet. Meet at a mutual place and hang out of an hour or two then invite him over and ask him to follow you or Uber with you there.  

Get a gun, but only if you are experienced and comfortable with guns. Take self-defense classes (there are a lot that are free and fun to go to). Install security cameras and an alarm that you can monitor yourself. That way you know who is creeping up or stopping by unannounced.  

Don't get too personal with the ones that give off hints that they have obsessive tendencies. Don't ignore minor signs. If he starts asking how many guys you see, have you seen anyone before him or after him, or wanting to know what times you are at your place just chilling.... cut him loose asap.

Goodluck and as always tell a close friend what's going on. Contact the cops if you need to. Befriend your neighbors so they can look out for you and check in if they notice anything suspicious. My neighbors don't know much about my personal life or my hobby but I am their precious gem and they look out for me.

as to outing him because it can get worse, but using info as leverage might get him to back off.

I'm sure it's very scary. Guys like that thrive on any attention. So even if you text or email him time to leave you alone he gets off on that. You mentioned you cut everything cold. Keep it that way. Don't even tell him to leave you alone if he texts you from A burner phone or different number. Just block it and move on. After no contact at all eventually he will move on. Might be a month maybe two months might be six months but he will find someOne else to harass or just tire without any feedback from you.  

If all else fails call the police. Even them talking to him will slow him down . What you do for a living  has no relevance in a case like this.  He can't treat ppl like that. Hang in there, eventually it will go away.

Outed the escort and lost in court. He is counting on you being weak or afraid.

I was overwhelmed that day and appreciate the advice and supportive words. I would prefer not to go a route that will draw attention to myself esp from the authority. I have held on to a cease and desist letter since January, one copy for his work, one copy for his home. I have also firmly stated that if he continues, it would leave me no choice but to approach his employer and his wife to let them know what he has been up to. It does not seem to be enough for him to quit although it has slowed down after a while since I stopped responding. You were all right. I was not able to see it at the time but as all things do, it too shall pass.. as long as I don't feed into it. The stress however has taken a toll and I have not been able to see clients in town.. I have broken my lease and now traveling out of state to see clients.  

Well, thanks again. I wish you all a safe and wonderful Memorial Day weekend 💋

-- Modified on 5/28/2017 11:58:30 AM

I've taken a break and not sure when I'll be ready to dive back in. Sucks when your trust is breeched. All I can say is be vigilant...change your passwords everyday and do extra security on your phone. You may have to do this daily as I have...but losing your identity is no joke. People are bored and don't underestimate him..possibly file a police report and have a record of everything he does.  Take action before he tries and fucks your life up. Also, maybe tell someone you are close to so you can have a safety at all times..

[email protected]

If ya need to just vent. I'm here to listen and understand sadly.

I ordered the book online and have been reading it. It's helpful. Thank you!

That really really sucks. Especially when you're in Va Beach.  There are a lot of military here as you already know. I'd hate to say fight fire with fire. But if you have any of his info then perhaps a warning would suffice. If that's a no-go, then your next best choice might be to either hire a P.I. or get a restraining order.

Thanks Maddy, I appreciate that. I was thinking about how providers lead a very lonely life. It's hard to maintain a social life in his line of profession so a lot of times, you find yourself harboring the stress of life troubles or even daily trivial things with no friends or family to talk to about it. I recently started reading the boards and other forums and I don't know what took me so long to get here, it's nice to have a place to talk and share experiences in the hobby.

I agree....

I know it's not the best advice, but,

Sometimes you gotta "out crazy" the crazy fucker.

It's sad that these clowns pull this shit.