Until recently, I have just lurked without making comments…tried to understand the lay of the land and apply good old common sense…which is sometimes easier said than done….but the last few days I have saw a lot of post that have applied to me….although not nearly as costly as it has been for some.  Actually, no additional costs other than appointment and a small gift here and there, which I have no regret….

As I stated earlier in posts, had to recently drop my ATF of the past 3 years due to what I considered head games and inconsistencies (polite for little lies)…had a good relationship, but one that I always knew was never going to lead to house in the burbs with 2.1 kids…my only expectation was to have a nice relaxing time during our appointments.  Which I always did!  She is a great gal.  However, early on SHE (never me) always made suggestions about dinners and trips which I approached with caution.  Partly, because I never knew how serious she was initially.  When this continued, I politely asked about the dinner arrangement, ”on the clock” or “off the clock”.  Explaining that I didn’t want to make the mistake and assume anything…she said “off the clock”.  So last appointment she brings up dinner again, so since her birthday was soon I suggested a very nice dinner($$$) and assumed only dinner….She immediately has the “oh shit” look on her face….to which I replied “not ON your birthday” as I expected her to be with family or friends…the look didn’t improve so I didn’t push, figured if she wanted too I would hear back from her….nothing…

Then I go on a business trip and again she mentions how much she would like to travel with me.  Since I was already on the trip, I said we can talk about it when I get back.  I get back, remembering the dinner invitation, and suggest a couple of days to a resort city, too test the waters…she stated she was very interested….so once again I asked how the arrangement would work…while I was going to pay for everything, (probably about $4K) I still figured there would be a fee involved….her response???…nothing….actually she had to wash her hair….we were texting….

Now she is a great gal, and I would have liked to continue seeing her, but at this point there is some serious BS going on….which is too bad….The next day, I politely cancelled our appointment later in the week….stating a change in my schedule….I have no interest in trying to figure out the meaning or alternate meaning of every suggestion or conversation.  For me I have always been very straight forward and believe you should “say what you mean, and mean what you say”….perhaps expecting too much for these types of relationship….which is probably wrong to refer to them as “relationships”…

Now what have a learned from this???

For the Guys:  Business is business, and no matter how sincere a provider may seem to be, keep this shit in perspective!!!….I know this isn’t easy at times when you have spent time with a great gal….but once again….keep this shit in perspective!!!  Give only what you are willing to walk away from without losing your mind and bank account….easier said the done for some of us….

For the Gals:  If you find a guy that you are comfortable with and he treats you well, keep the BS in check….sure inflate his ego…we all like that, but within reason….If he is having a great time during the appointment, he will keep coming back without all the additional BS…and know that a vast majority of the guys aren’t looking for wives in this business…..as I assume the gals aren’t looking for husbands either…just my opinion….

I hope my 2 cents of experience helps.  I’ve enjoyed reading the experience of others, even though it has come at a hefty price ($$$ or emotional) for some.  For the serious “Hobbyist” I hope this long post has been somewhat amusing…..