Subject: joke
>Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002 12:37:35 EST
>
>    I never have quite figured out why the sexual
>urges of men & women differ so much. And I never
>have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And,
>I never have figured out why men think with their
>head and women with their heart. And, I never yet
>have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets
>thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears
>the words "I do."
>
>    One evening last week, my wife and I were
>getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up,
>and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
>it, I just want you to hold me."
>
>    I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I
>and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains
>that I must not be in tune with her emotional
>needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her
>first clue?" I finally realize that nothing is going to happen
>that night, so I went to bed.
>
>   The very next day the we went shopping at a big
>unnamed department store...
>I walked around while she tried on three very
>expensive outfits.
>She couldn't decide which one to take, so I
>told her to take all three of them. She then tells
>me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each,
>to  which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry
>Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings.
>Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have
>thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,
>but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me
>when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't
>even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
>told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually
>excited from all of this and you should have seen her face
>when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
>I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
>"No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
>You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank.
>I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
>for a while." And just when she had this look like she
>was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my
>financial needs as a Man."
>
>    I figure that I should be having sex again
>sometime during the spring thaw.
>