She has absolutely no interest, she's too self conscious about it to enjoy it. So that leaves me 10+ years out of practice.

Shallow asshole that I am, once she put on a couple of pounds I lost all desire to DATY with her. My interest in having sex with her disappeared shortly thereafter.

I never cheated on my wife, but realized that a sexless marriage wasn't worth staying in, and did the honorable thing and gave her all my money in return for my freedom. Ok, I didn't willingly give her all my shit, but that's the way it worked out, and in hindsight it was a bargain. lol

and if we were having sex with our wives we would not be here that is for sure.

....if she lets me, it's more to please me.  In my mind, that's not what it's supposed to be about.  I'm not one of these guys that loves slurping body fluids just for the fun of it.  The fun for me is getting a woman off this way.  If that's not gonna happen, I'd rather just get on with the event.

The interesting thing to me is the difference with providers on this subject.  I feel like some of them truly love sex and DATY and pretty much tell you what to do to get them off.  Others seem to offer it up as if it  was an expectation (and in fact it is a factor in their TER ratings).  Then there are the ones exactly like my wife that seem to just want the dick and lots of it.

When i was married,

She always had 2 O's,one with me DATY and one with intercourse.
I wish it had been 2 O's for me also,1 BJ and 1 intercourse.(my O was with intercourse).
BJ's were few and far between,she wasn't very good at it!

It is the only way I can almost always get her to cum and it is part of almost every sexual encounter we have.

Never had the pleasure, of being married that is

But DATY is one of my favorites! It's a must when I see a lady, and the only excuse I'll allow is if Aunt Flo comes to town. And even then, it's their call cuz I'll STILL go down there!