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Curious
dragonfly2006 49 Reviews 1021 reads
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Has anyone ever asked: "Would you ever date a guy like me in real life?"

MochaNautteBBW1596 reads

I hate it when guys ask questions like:

"whut do u offer?"

"can I see pussy pics?"

"Got a man?

"How much do you charge for sex?"

"Are you gay?"

"How many men have you had sex with"

"Does that include intercourse?"

"Why u not call me back?"

I've been asked questions like this...and it annoys me.

There are certain things that shouldn't be asked. But there are those out there who just don't get it.



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marere4595 reads

"What's your real/full name?" (We use stage names for a reason. If we wanted you to know (irrelevant) personal data, we'd tell you on our own free will.)

"Are you in a relationship?" (Do you want providers asking you about your relationships and/or the status of your marriage?)

"Do your family/friends/boyfriend/girlfriend know you're an escort?" (Do your friends/wife/kids know that you hobby?)

"Are you going to see me again if I email you?" (Uhh, awkward.)

"Can you send me more pics/face pics?" (If I wanted you to see pics, they'd be posted on my website. They are, in fact. Nearly 20 of them. There's a reason I don't show my face. Would you post face pics on an escort site??)

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Mobile Sam 8873730 reads

While I have never asked a lady for a face pic and I never would it can be somewhat important. To me the looks are all part of the experience. Blurred out face pics are ok with me. I can usually tell enough about what they look like but I doubt I would be interested in booking with a girl without at least a clue as to what she looks like.

I certainly understand the ladies point of view for not wanting to identify herself though.

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mminanton525 reads

I agree, I think it's important. It's about weighing the options.

Girls that blur their face out probably are not career girls, which is their choice, but as a client, I'd rather get with a girl that is not afraid to put herself out there and knows that she wants to do this as a career (by the way there are some rich girls out there from this...and to me a noble AND valid career choice..)

OF course some are doing it for discretion reasons, I will say I am less likely to pursue someone that blurs out because I am often asked to give up personal information, and I feel it should be at least marginally, full disclosure on both sides. -- I've been burned by the no face pictures, and wouldn't repeat.

YMMV

-m



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dragonfly20061022 reads

Has anyone ever asked: "Would you ever date a guy like me in real life?"

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CindyGold837 reads

Oh of course.  I think most girls have had client ask them that at one time or another.  It's a little uncomfortable of a question because you can feel put on the spot to come up with a nice answer, when sometimes in your head you're thinking "hell no! Absolutely NOT."  I think it's okay to ask as long as it doesn't turn into the following type of behavior-->

I've had several regular clients who I have "fired" either temporarily or permanently because they kept asking me to go to a party, away on a skying trip, out on a date etc with them and when I politely declined, JUST WOULD NOT LET IT GO.  How many times can you say "I think you are a really sweet, great person etc but I don't feel comfortable blurring boundaries... please respect that, it's nothing personal...blah blah I'm not interested in being in a relationship with ANYONE right now blah..." I have had several clients that would actually sit there and ARGUE with me if... as I after half an hour of them berating me I would suddenly turn to them and say "oh, okay. Sure, I'll date you."

Some of these same men have continued to call me for months or YEARS after I finally said, "I wish you well but I don't feel comfortable seeing you on appointments anymore. I'd be more than happy to refer you to one of my friends. If you aren't interested in that, then take care and good bye." One or two of these guys block their numbers or call from random phones to try to trick me into picking up their calls.  One person started seeing all my girlfriends, tipping and giving them gifts, to try to bribe them into sharing personal information about me.  Another person called one of my friends and started ranting that they had "given thousands of dollars" and thus were "owed" ongoing contact with me... as if they'd freaking bought my SOUL in the process. This person continues to leave me voice mails periodically, telling EXACTLY how much time has elapsed since he last saw me, and INFORMING me that it's time to start seeing him again.

I am an affectionate person, a good listener, and  not a clock watcher.  Unfortunately these qualities lead some people to think that I have an emotional connection with THEM that I don't have with anyone else.  This is also when they start to get really pushy about finding out my name, asking me about the dynamics that I had with my old boyfriend- did he know I was an escort..? did it bother him...? Then they start talking about whether or not it would bother THEM, if THEY were my boyfriend... When do I plan on getting married and having kids?!?! (A few have made jokes about wanting to be the father!) Would I come over to their house to have dinner and continue our discussion on theology/politics/etc... ONE GUY ASKED ME TO COME BY AND HELP HIM GET THE CAT IN THE CARRIER TO GO TO THE VETS because the CAT "LIKES" ME BETER...." I hate this whole "when good regulars, go BAD" phenomenon, but I'm not sure how to prevent it from happening again in the future...

Sorry that was so long-winded,

Cindy

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dragonfly2006761 reads

I would think that when a client asks that, they are really asking" "Would you date me?"

That's why it is important for clients to be good listeners, and providers to set clear limits.  I look to the provider for cues to set the boundaries of conversation.  If she does not bring up anything personal, neither will I.  If she does I will either say I don't want to talk about it, or I will talk about it but then I will ask the same of the provider.

Let's face it, a lot of guys do hope to hook up with providers.  It does happen, so we all think it can happen for us.  Just like porn stars think they will be the next Traci Lords and make it big in mainstream media.

I once told my ATF that if we could hang out as platonic friends, I'd stop being her client to make things easier.  She does very good business so the loss of income would be made up quickly.  She thought about it, and decided against it.  In th future, if she ever suggests it, I will go for it.  I'll miss the sex, but I think her friendship would be more than worth it.  Meanwhile, I never brought it up again, and we still have amazing sessions.

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CindyGold461 reads

The key phrases being "it is important for clients to be good listeners" and "I never brought it up again." My problem with some of my ex clients began when they started only hearing what they wanted to hear and would bring up these SAME topics every single time we met.  I do TRY to set clear boundaries... but because I phrase things in a sweet or playful manner, I sometimes have trouble being taken seriously. It's really become quite a problem at times, as I mentioned in my other post.

I guess I wish my clients would view our time together like I view it- a sexually open minded adventure for both pleasure and profit, where two people connect on a psycho-sexual level for a period of time.  I view my clients in a benevolent manner- I try to find a way to connect with them as individuals, exchanging stories, joking, laughing, and cuddling. But if I never saw some of them again for one reason or another (ie they got into a committed relationship etc,)I would wish them the best and be just fine with it...

I guess what I'm saying is that I seem to have a different level of attachment to them, then some of them have to me...

Cindy

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mminanton259 reads

Hi Cindy,

Very well said. I think what you ask for here is definitely reasonable and should be where guys are keeping their mindsets.

I think alot of guys that do this, crave closeness / intimacy (as I do -- however, I am very realistic about what a provider is..) Some are unable to seperate fantasy from reality and really think this person likes them.

I've never actually felt this way, but maybe I just haven't met the provider that rocked my socks off enough to feel this way who knows.

You have to remember your dealing with bi-polars / depressives / social rejects / socially retarded / etc , etc. There are quite a few regular guys that do this too (most RICH as hell or married..), but I'd venture there are more with mental and or social issues. I know because I fit one or two of those categories ;)

You sound like fun though! come to LA ;p

-m

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mminanton354 reads

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here4u2765 reads

I whole heartedly agree with all of the above, including the one about relationships.  I also wish providers would not ask me about my relationships (it seems about 80% of providers ask me).  Unless this information is volunteered, it is really irrelevant to having a good time with the provider.

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mminanton234 reads

Right. glad your presenting the other side of the coin here.

I hate it when they do honestly. I'm more up for good old fashioned role playing, I'm looking for escapism not someone to hash up my real personal life which generally sucks, which is why I'm here.

Plenty of other things to generate small talk off of for both sides.. I think its a fishing question though to check for marriage, cause that shows stability and NO Stalker status.

I will tell the next person that asks me this: I'd rather not say, and let them deduce I'm married/attached so they get over it. If you don't your setting yourself up for discrimination.

-m

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mminanton237 reads

1. Stalker type

2. Loser type

3. Socially retarded.

4. Socially retarded.

5. Possibly only mildly ignorant.

While I certainly have zero game in my personal life, these type of questions make me seem like the Don Juan of the provider scene.

Who would look for love in this way? Again -- I understand being disalusioned during your session , I've been there, but before it's set up?

I would not ask this type of crap in a million years, but it's wholly maturity, and once again.. nature of your selected proffesion.

-m

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kerrakles262 reads

My question to you is, do you see anyone after they asking you all these questions or do you simply say, "have nice day buddy"?


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mminanton619 reads

IT would be their right to do so, as it would be YOUR right to do so if a provider is envasive RE: your personal life

-m

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WillHammerYou476 reads

I've found that providers ask many of the same questions.

Are you married?

How long have you been married?

How many kids do you have?

Have you done this before?

Does your wife know you do this?

How many ladies have you been with?

While I really don't mind the questions and I understand the lady is trying to get to know something about you, maybe to put her mind at ease, I think most men are doing the same thing.

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One of the Club599 reads

I do that but I wont do that again. I guess I am just curious.

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Sophomoric Humorist666 reads

You got sisters?

You got brothers? [I really don't recommend this one].

Where'd you learn that?

How old were you the first time?

Been tested lately?

Enjoy your work?

Got any plans after work?



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MochaNautteBBW217 reads

"You're only 24...you're only a baby?"

AACCCKKK!

I hate when clients say that. Last time I checked, 24 is grown and legal.

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mminanton275 reads

I file this under... Nature of the beast.

Not everyone your going to do business with has a vocabulary or a clue. Unfortunately this comes with the territory..

With my Work I have over 300 employees, and half of my damage control is putting out sexual harrasment fires, yes it's annoying, but it's why they pay me.

I personally, will not contact anyone who doesn't have reviews detailing what I want.

That being said, I never discuss anything remotely sexual, I treat it like setting up a legitimate date. For many reasons, most of them legal. Whoever they are need to visit TER and read a FAQ.

-m

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