And first off , I would say I treat the whole situation a little differently than average dates. For me, I like to discuss boundries at the beginning of our date(Usually a good conversation over cocktails) Is there anything that he or she might be uncomfortable with...? I have experienced a variety of different senerios. Some ladies have outlined "the rules" very specifically. Others have said anything goes. Communication between the three of us is key.

Second, surprising the lady??I cannot see where that could ever turn out well.

I actually prefer the gent to call/email. It is what I am comfortable with. If the lady calls at first I may have a concern that she could be a jaded wife digging for info.Although, I have had the lady make the initial call, and all went fine.

With most of the couples I meet, the woman is at least to some degree bi. With some, more attention is focused to female, with other dates, more attention to the male. This is where the communication part at the beginning of the date really comes into play.

Does it matter if the provider or wife /girlfriend is hotter?No. I have seen alot of knockout 10 girlfriend/wives and also some average housewives. Both can be fun as long as everyone is really into it and neither of the couple is doing it to please the other.

As to whether it is better if the wife/gf is Bi or straight, it all depends on what you are seeking and making sure you communicate this with your provider.

As long as both of you are attracted to the provider, your opinion on who is "hotter" is doesn't really matter does it?  Men can be very forgiving of appearance in sexual situations.  Women can be much more critical, especially of other women.  On the other hand, if the provider is too "perfect" in appearance it may bring up insecurity issues.  I always suggest that couples let the female choose the play partner.

.02

Have fun!

To emiliknate the guys who call just to jerk off to that scenario and to verify it is the woman's choice.
I always ask to speak to both individuals.
I am usualy chosen by the lady. I only once had been a surprise for the lady .After a xmas party I was waiting in theor hotel suite. But they had been to Vegas before and they are swingers actively.
I enjoy the threesomes either ggb kinda bi action. But have had the lady love to watch her husband and I and tag team the guy.
It can be done a few ways ..My very first night working for a agency way back in the day. I seen a couple the hubby only wanted to watch his wife and I.... What a way to make a entrance into this lifestyle....lol
I have one major requirement for couples. I am not here to bust up a relationship. So It must be her fantasy as well.
And as far as looks. I am not sure how that plays into things. I have been cuter then a wife and I have played with many hot hot babes too!!!!
My now seems to be striped thigh highs are coiurtesy of a mix up in a redress.... Yes they originally belonged to one of my hot lady friends in Cali... We giggled over the phone later in finding out about the mix up... So I love those striped hose. And think of her often...