TER General Board
Consider proceeding with caution
Especially if he has her personal information.
Obviously, if he's truly a risk, and not just an annoyance, get the TRO, but she does risk being exposed herself.
Ladies, I am certain that many of you have had to deal with someone who became a real problem, either stalking or harassing you.
I have an escort friend who confided that she has a stalker, but did not give exact details except that she has his real information.
If this has happened to you, what did you do to handle this and how well did your actions work to stop the problem? Did you go to the police? Did you threaten to, or actually use, his information to make him stop?
I appreciate any input on this.
Why are you looking for "input"? Are you a stalker?
That is a ridiculous response and not helpful. Perhaps go back and actually try to read my post. SMH
He is asking because it's not your problem and is they type of question that someone that did go down the rabbit hole of falling for an escort that didn't have any interest is such a relationship would be asking if they were concerned about the PII they had provided and had a lot to loose if she exposed him.
The escort can deal with it and certainly has better connection to other providers for advice if needed (they do have their own board you cannot read on TER and no doubt have their own "back channel" communications just like mongers do) so why do you feel you need to get involved or have anyone explain it to you?
Isn't it quite possible that he's simply trying to help the provider in question here? I am not sure about your experiences, but many women have raised this issue with me privately over the years because, unfortunately and sadly, getting stalked is fairly common.
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Not all providers have the support network you seem to think they do with other p4p women. Gaining access to the PO for providers is often a lengthy process as it isn't something that is granted automatically. They need to have at least 3 reviews and also need to have a lengthy posting history on multiple boards.
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Newer providers, in particular, are very unlikely to have accomplished that feat to gain the privilege of the PO board, and some more experienced, veteran women never gain access at all, even though they request it and feel like they have met all the criteria to do so.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with people discussing ways to help a provider who may be in need. QB offered up one possibility. I think we should take the OP at his word unless you have evidence to suggest otherwise.
How did you deduce all that from the original post?
3 years ago, I got a frantic call from a UTR ATF who was being pursued and stalked by an angry ex-BF. I had access to the type of resources where I could steer her towards getting a TRO. But the fact is, for whatever reason, she didn't or couldn't turn to a convenient "back channel" for advice. So I helped as best I could.
By your logic, if at that moment I had come to this board seeking additional ideas, that would be proof that I was the threat.
Can we do better than this?
The guy asked why the other poster asked why he was asking. I gave the explanation.
Yes, I have know some girls that were trying to avoid or hide from stalkers. I've known that some of those stalkers have come onto TER to ask all kinds of questions trying to get leads on where the girl is. Does that mean all that ask "for a friend" are the stalker? Of course not. But let's not ignore that some are.
By your logic you can jump to any conclusion you want, but I didn't say that. What I said was that was *a* possibility and *could* explain why the first response was what it was. I would also know that the OP seemed to indicate that the girl had things under control rather than being at a loss as to how to do anything. In case you've not read the original post:
I have an escort friend who confided that she has a stalker, but did not give exact details except that she has his real information.
If this has happened to you, what did you do to handle this and how well did your actions work to stop the problem? Did you go to the police? Did you threaten to, or actually use, his information to make him stop?
I appreciate any input on this.
You can't possibly know whether the provider asked him or not, so why assume otherwise and take a position against the OP without that information?
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On top of that, you used absolutist language when you said, "The escort can deal with it and certainly has better connections to other providers for advice if needed." How could you possibly know the extent and quality of this provider's support system??? lol.
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You also suggested he may have fallen for the girl, despite there being no evidence whatsoever to support that.
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My issue with you, in a nutshell, is that throughout your entire response, you consistently interpreted things in the least charitable way for the OP on virtually EVERY SINGLE POINT, which is why you are getting the pushback you are getting.
The farthest I have had to go is a cease & desist letter from my criminal attorney.
Thank you Bia. That option did not occur to me. I will pass it along to my friend.
I’ve learned one thing. Stay out of an escorts personal life. A lot of them have drama. The good ones don’t tell you about it. I had to stop seeing one girl because her ex was causing issues. It was affecting my time with her. Im not compensating someone so I can hear about their issues. Shame she was hot AF.
Courts take these applications a little more seriously than perhaps 20 years ago. Local PD can still be skeptical and unhelpful, but they can't stop the lady from pursuing the TRO, and if necessary, a permanent order.
Especially if he has her personal information.
Obviously, if he's truly a risk, and not just an annoyance, get the TRO, but she does risk being exposed herself.
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