They just assume you learned it watching porn.

The main difference between provider-sex and civvie-sex is that with civvies BJ's almost never happen. With providers they almost always do.

You're not missing out on anything.

It can be horrendous, it can be spiritual, it can be almost chaste, it can be nasty. It can be anything.

But the one important thing is that in most cases, a civie woman won't have sex with someone she doesn't find attractive; so you'll know the lady likes you.

Without expressing why, I simply have a hard time believing the OP is genuine as written.

Apparantly others do, as they give a sincere reply.

Am I just cynical or something?


Doubting Thomas aka HalfHour

"Also are civiees impressed with "tricks" you learned from providers? Do they wonder where you learned that and get suspicious?"  Or is it more a wham-bang quick deal?

Some civvies know all the tricks and then some. Some civvies will surprise you with what they know.Hot Sensual carnal knowledge is not restricted to providers.
It is rare for wham bam with civvies.If she wants you at all, she usually wants more.
The hard part is finding a civvy you desire, who desires back. After that everything will fall into place.Don't worry about being more experienced than her. Its all in your mind.

Sex with my wife is almost always better than most any provider I've ever been with, and she's prettier than many, as well.  The differences are:
#1:  Yes, there is rarely if ever a BJ
#2:  Two people must be in the mood, not just one,
and
#3:  Yes, it is really, really expensive.

I have never had sex with a girlfriend ( only had 1 my whole life and I am in my early 30's ). Is the sex like with a provider, i.e she does it what it takes to keep you hard? Or is it more a wham-bang quick deal? Also are civiees impressed with "tricks" you learned from providers? Do they wonder where you learned that and get suspicious?

there were times when i should have stayed home because she just laid there. one such occasion i tried to coach here into making a contribution to the effor (she was absolutely motionless) and all that followed was tears and drama.

OTOH while many of the hobbyists here are here because the wife can't or won't perform, i was always extremely fortunate with spouses and SOs. in particular one was as passionate, wild and kinky as any provider here i'd bet. performance wise she was in the same class as my favorite ladies here. in looks, she was certainly model material! but i digress....

i can't answer about civies being impressed with tricks learned from a provider. the civies i have seen and spend some time with have all been pretty adventurous. in my early days i remember reading sex manuals with my civy GFs and finding amusing things to try.

i came to the hobby late in life.

It's just usually on their terms,when,how often,etc!!!
That's the biggest problem i have, with a civee relationship!!!

Amen.

but how i respond is a choice.

i can understand how you would be cynical, after all consider the environment. you'd think that a hobbyist would not be so inexperienced, right? but then again if it weren't for the outliers, the different folks, we'd all just be clones.

so i can choose to rip him a new one on the assumption that he's a fraud. or i can choose to have the post be the starting point of a mostly pleasant reminiscence. i do love to think of the lovely ladies in my past, each and every one. i can even think of the immobile date and recall her better qualities. (they had nothing to do with sex, we were completely incompatible sexually.)

i chose to respond as i did because regardless of the OP it is good for me to do it that way. despite my current hiatus, the hobby is good to and for me lately.

One way or the other, it's gonna costya. And providers aren't necessarily better than civvies in the sack. They're just, for the most part, black and white in their expectations, whereas civvie ladies have more grey nuances. Meaning, the price you pay may come further on down the line. And could be very much higher than if you just handed over an envelope and got your pee-pee wet with a reputable, hot provider lady.

IMHO, of course....

Go out a get a girl friend. The sex for the most part is great and her reactions is genuine. She is someone to take care of you when you are sick and someone to hang out with for more than an hour or so. Not to mention, the sex is free for the most part.

John, surely you know better than that...finding someone attractive and liking them are two entirely different things, lol

there is definitely a different feel to it because both of you are there for one reason...to fuck. unlike in the hobby where 99.99999% of the girls wouldn't touch me with a 10ft pole if i didn't have the entry fee lol.  so in my opinion, there is a different vibe.  i can't say which one is better or worse as they both have the pluses and minuses.  one plus about civies is you get to spend the night and, chances are, knock another one out in the morning (unless the booze has worn off lol).

the mechanics of it is a little different too.  one girl would not give me a bj and she would not let me go down on her. she just liked a lot of making out and playing with her boobs as foreplay, and then it was straight to the sex and a hell of a lot more kissing.  but the vibe was definitely different.

WW is an idiot, a borad troll, and only speaks for himself. BJ's are quite common in the civvie world, and believe or not some women actually like giving BJ's

I would estimate that no more than 20% of the civvie GF's I have had refused to give a BJ. Needless to say, those GF didn't get a chance to stick around very long. lol

I like lots of people I don't find sexually attractive. So you are right!

I guess where I get mixed up is that when I dislike someone, even if I previously found them attractive, I no longer find them so. So disliking someone tends to confound the attractiveness portion.

Having sex with a provider - at it's best - can be fun, it can be erotic, it can even be mind-blowing.  But it is a mere shadow or facade compared to having sex with someone you actually love.

Don't get me wrong, the best providers have talents; some of which are erotic, most of which are theatrical.  They are playing a role for you.  That role is of a loving woman that is attracted to you.  That role is of being your civvy partner - for an hour.

Actually experiencing sex with your civvy partner is the "real deal."  No, it is not always off-the-charts.  Sometimes either one or both of you is tired or simply just doing it because the other wants to.  But when it is good the depth of fun and erotic release is orders of magnitude beyond what you can pay for.

At least in my experience.

One advantage of seeing providers is that you can have the sex without having to get into the entanglements of a relationship.  That way, you can be pickier about who you want to get serious with.  Although, once you find that person, paid-for sex won't be as good.  At least, I guess, until you have both gotten sick of each other - LOL!

I second that. In my regular civiee life, 300hr does not get you in the door...

Lets try several dates, hanging out for awhile just so I could see if we are good for each other.....that equals at least $1000 before we go anywhere sensual and fun....

perhaps a kiss or two but thats it....

Some people like myself are very socially awkward and I am positively outgoing now compared to how I used to be. So, yes you are cynical but that does not mean you are wrong.

I paid a provider for sex lessons.

Works great on a civie lady. Too well I'm afraid.

depending on how one monetized the effects of no pussy

eom