This is getting to be to common of a thing.  I was just talking to a provider who just recently came back from a trip to Chicago.  Everything was going fine on her first day, but on her second day she had three no shows.  Not a phone call or an email or anything that said I can't keep our appointment.

Now I know things happen during the course of the day which makes it difficult to keep appointments, but if you took the time to make the appointment I think you should at least call and cancel.  Give the provider the opportunity to see someone else during that time.

I told her that I wouldn't see any of those gentleman again and she should really consider accepting deposits.  Was I wrong in the advice I gave to her?

Kisses,
Cameron Leigh

providing/hobbying are off-the-social-grid activities.  One can't expect that everyone, or even a reasonable number, will act according to normal rules of etiquette/common courtesy.  Her business exigencies will dictate how she deals with the no-shows in the future.  In my business I ask them why they no showed without a call.  If they have a reasonable explanation I will give them another chance.  Otherwise, and especially if they bullshit me, they're history.

If it is someone I have seen before, and he NCNS's on me, I'll give him a second chance. If I've never seen him before, I assume that setting up the appointment in the first place was just to pull my chain, and I block him from contacting me again.

Harsh, but on average, I would say I have about a 30% rate of no-shows. Something has to give, and one way to stop it is not to play Charlie Brown to Lucy's football routine.

The idea of requesting a deposit though would never work. Not for me at least, nor would I recommend it to anyone.

I tried to hit my backspace key and hit my enter key instead, so if I left an incomplete response, sorry about that.

This is a two way street. I have had trouble even getting a response from many providers. Any response would be fine, including "no can do." So I'm left with having to try and contact several for the same time and hope one will respond.

I suspect that they guys would try to be more courteous if they experienced more courtesy (maybe -- as a general rule, maybe, but there are always the exceptions).

They figure they only have a narrow window of time to see a provider, so they book 4 or 5 appointments and go to one.  

What do they care? They get what they want and will likely never be in your city for a while or just call someone else next time.  

There is a well-known agency that does that to hobbyists and have gotten a pretty bad rep because of it.  Obviously it's rude, but they're thinking only about maximizing their profits.  It's the same reason why airlines overbook.  They don't lose anything by turning down the extra business...except their reputation.

I'm sure a few indie providers may do it too.

I like your pics Cameron.  Coming back to the twin cities any time soon?  I haven't seen you yet.

I wonder about men who go through the whole screening process to setup an appt, and then never even phone to cancel the appt, or at least make up some excuse about why they cannot attend.  I mean c'mon if you are not able to make up a good excuse why you cannot met a woman (My job needs me, etc. etc.), you probably do not belong in this hobby.

As to deposits, I never have done them, and never will.  If I do not know the woman, how do I know she will not have one of her regulars want an appt at the time our appt was booked for, so she cancels on me, and the money is long gone.

Cameron, if you come to Seattle I promise I won't cancel.

I think you gave her sound advice.  As I know no shows/no calls happen more often than they should.. to me its unacceptable.. as I always will let those dates are scheduled if something is changing.  I will not see them again unless they prebook with full deposit.  Granted they may not see me.. but they will not foul me up again.

How many always cancel dinner reservations, airline reservations, hotel reservations, rental car reservations, etc? Unless a deposit is given then a percentage will not show. If deposits are required many will not use your service. It might be best to find some other work you can be doing that will fill your time in case of a cancellation. On the other hand your service might be so good no one will dare miss it.

I can't speak for all ladies, but I can give you some reasons why I may not respond.....

If you call me and leave a voicemail, and I get that vm within about an hour of when you called, I'll return your call. However, if I don't know you, and I don't know what your situation is, if its been a few hours since you called, I won't call back. This is for your discretion and to prevent awkward questions that might arise.

If you e-mail me and ask me sexually explicit questions, or ask me "how much" I won't respond. I spent a great deal of time creating a website that gives all the information you could possibly need. If a man doesn't bother to spend the few minutes it takes to get that information from my website, I assume he isn't sincere or has no idea what he's doing, in both cases, I want nothing to do with that. Not to mention the fact that I will NOT put anything into an e-mail that could cause problems.

Those are just about the only two reasons someone might not get a response out of me, even if the response is "I'm sorry, that time won't work for me".

30%! That amazes me - I had no idea that escorts were stood up so often. I would never skip an appointment without a call in advance to apologize. (And, in fact, I've never skipped an appointment - been late, but even then I was able to call and make sure a late start would be ok.)

That's my policy, and as far as I know that's the usual policy for any sort of deposit.

A deposit holds your appointment. I'm not going to schedule someone else in your place.

A deposit confirms that the gentleman is serious about getting together. A few days ago, I stopped requiring deposits (something I've long required for first-time clients), giving them a choice of screening options, which I thought they would appreciate. EVERY SINGLE MAN WHO DIDN'T SEND A DEPOSIT CANCELLED. I am not exaggerating.

-- Modified on 8/11/2006 7:38:31 PM

I never phone; I always email, usually a week ahead of time to allow lots of time for screening. I always provide all the details normally expected -- date and time and length of appointment, name, phone, references, details about me, and even a picture (just to make things even) and my TER handle so my reviews can be reviewed. And I still get slow responses, sometimes after the date that I've specified. It sets a tone that is not the greatest. I think it affects the way the guys act. And sometimes if the confirmation comes in at the last minute when I'm on the road, I might not be able to respond.

would risk her reputation and future earnings just to keep your deposit and see a regular client in your place.

Even if it was say a very large deposit on a weekend appointment...say $5,000, she would lose that amount many times over if it was revealed she stole your deposit.

The deposit is to ensure the client will show up.  As much as clients don't like being NC/NS-ed or cancelled on, and the time effort and perhaps travel cost and time lost by the client, and money for a room if he booked a hotel for the appointment...that is a very small amount compared to the lady turing down appointments, even for a one hour appontment she can't schedule that hour the hour before or the hour after at the very least (and for longer appointments or lower volume ladies it can mean no other appointments that day) then add travel time and expense, time spent getting ready for the appointment, time spent screening the client, money spent for a room if she booked a hotel for the appointment...it adds up, and a NC/NS or cancellation can have a large cost to a lady.

The way deposits tend to work...if she cancels you get your money back..if you cancel she keeps the deposit...she could, as you fear, cancel on you and keep your deposit, but that would damage her business to a tune much greater than what your deposit would be for, and unless she was the most short-sighted, business ignorant woman in the world I don't think she would risk future income on a small deposit.

I think common courtesy should work both ways. I was supposed to get together with plasticstephanie in St. Louis. When she first emailed me back, she said she would not be available for over a week. I emailed her back and tried to make an appt for that time. She did not respond. I emailed her again a couple days later to try and get a date confirmed and I also told her that if someone canceled at the last minute that I would be willing to fill in. She emailed me back and said she was free that night, but last minute rates would apply. I told her I couldn't afford last minute rates. She emailed me two days later and said she was free that night anytime after 4:00 and do I want to get together at the regular rate. I replied back YES and suggested a time. I sat around waiting for a response of any kind, but didn't get one. She said the next day that someone offered to pay her last minute rates and she couldn't pass it up. I told her that it would be common courtesy to take one minute and email or call me to let me know that she had other plans, but she said we didn't confirm so I should not be upset. She had a real bad attitude also. The fact of the matter is that I did confirm by saying YES to her original inquiry, then waited for a response of any kind. This was going to be my first time seeing an escort and I was excited about it, but now I am somewhat turned off to the whole thing.