Number 5 is a tricky one. You must realize that there is room for YMMV. There are some ladies that are NOT into licking balls covered in a few specks of 3 day old poop. Need I say more...?
How many times do we have to hear about your need for a large condom? Trust me, neither the gentlemen or the ladies here care about the size of your dick...
But how do you command someone to enjoy themselves? Maybe you should restate #4 as:
4. Be such a good actress that you will make me think you are enjoying yourself despite my boorish behavior, bad hygiene, and pathetic attempts at DATY.
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