I can see the lot from the street and watch you guys as you pull in. Most of you guys don't even understand the security code to open the gate when I just told you exactly what to do! That really sets the tone for how much of an idiot some of you guys are.
I say "Idiot" as I am a self processed idiot win it comes to P4P and the girls. I will even tell a lot of the girls when i see them please forgive me in advance as I can be an idiot sometimes and I have had some girls say to me at the end of our time together " you really are a idiot" and I respond "see I told you so".
I have gotten better over the years but still remember a time some years back when I arranged to see a provider who mailed me the night before saying her "Aunt Flow was visiting" and being the Dumb Ass I am I took that literally and responded "that sounds great I would love to do a double with your Aunt Flow". She then mailed me back again saying it was her time of the month and I replied back " sorry to hear that but is Aunt Flow still available and can you send me some pics"?
I of course never heard from her again, yes I am a real idiot!
Had just started hobbying through AMP in SmallTown, PA. Had not discovered TER yet.
It was my like second time there. So I show up, and greeted by a middle aged Korean lady, who spoke decent English.
I asked her if there was any variety? She said sure....There are about 5 girls working. Couple of them got long hair.... A couple of them have short hair... One is tall. Others are petite. I said, "No..In terms of Nationality.." She said.... "No, all of them are Korean..." Then I ask.... "Hmm..O.K.. Which kind...North or South? She looked at me like she was ready to kick my ass out... It was not a smartass remark.. It was just me being goofy and overwhelmed at the idea of fucking a hooker.
I can see something like this happening to me too, I was goofy and overwhelmed enough at 52, lol I didn't even visit any hookers in the Army, but I wasn't there long before being injured in a training helo crash. I always wondered if I would have had the guts to approach one, I'm shy
Posted By: CurlyW - Nats Fan
Had just started hobbying through AMP in SmallTown, PA. Had not discovered TER yet.
It was my like second time there. So I show up, and greeted by a middle aged Korean lady, who spoke decent English.
I asked her if there was any variety? She said sure....There are about 5 girls working. Couple of them got long hair.... A couple of them have short hair... One is tall. Others are petite. I said, "No..In terms of Nationality.." She said.... "No, all of them are Korean..." Then I ask.... "Hmm..O.K.. Which kind...North or South? She looked at me like she was ready to kick my ass out... It was not a smartass remark.. It was just me being goofy and overwhelmed at the idea of fucking a hooker.
I studied real hard and made all the right moves and got one of the local ladies to give me chance . The night before the meet, the evening of mothers day 07 to be exact (funny what you remember), I started getting the newbie jitters. I was at a friends house and got drunk, I rarely drink at all, and emailed her saying something like " I hope you aren't planning anything to rip off because I will make even worse on you" or something to that effect, I don't really remember the exact words. Of course she emailed me back saying "no thanks, have a nice life, good luck getting another date". When I sobered up, I made all the wrong moves trying to "fix" it. What a dumbass. We laughed about it later and got to be pretty friends even though the client/ provider thing didnt work out.
Not too long ago I saw a provider that I'd seen 3 times before (which was good for me as you'll discover). I had asked her to wear an orange bikini that she wore for me at one of our previous sessions because she looks absolutely incredible in Orange, her skin color and Orange are a perfect compliment. So I knock and she. let's me in and greets me with a great hug and kiss. As I step back to get a good look at her I said "you look illegal in Orange". I saw a movie once that was called "Illegal in Blue" in which the leading man told the leading lady that she looked so good in Blue, it should be illegal. So that was my mindset, I thought I was giving her a compliment. Well of course she's very uneasy for the next few moments until I get undressed to which I'm bewildered, I didn't figure it out until hours after the session, when I hit myself in the forehead and said Duh! Sometimes I am "the absent minded professor". Cudos to her for not saying anything, or throwing me out as many would have done. I think the only reason I got away with being an idiot is because we'd seen each other 3 times before. I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed.
your knee replacements. With all of the crawling that you do with the providers I know that you regret not purchasing those knee pads. I do have some finger covers when you are ready to stick one of them in the dyke.
your knee replacements. With all of the crawling that you do with the providers I know that you regret not purchasing those knee pads. I do have some finger covers when you are ready to stick one of them in the dyke.
And you don't play volleyball either...Wonder what they're for? At your age, its gratifying to see a man is able to do anything. Ya ol' cuddly curmudgeon
I was over there for the IOM TT motorcycle race maybe 10-15 years ago. After a long day she approached me and wanted to know If I wanted to have some action or maybe I hit on her don't remember. Of course I did! She was really hot looking. but I was still wearing my leathers and soaked in sweat, my mind was racing and I just couldn't figure out the logistics of how to get cleaned up and changed at our camp ground and meet her. I think I just started sort of stammering and standing with my mouth hanging open, and she walked away with a disgusted look on her face, Smooth, lol.
While pulling up to provider’s (atf back then) incall got a call from a friend who ended up in a hospital and needed some help. Walked in, dropped full fee for 90 mins, rescheduled for next week assuming most of that will be applied toward next appointment, and left.
Long story short, that was a mistake. Chalked it up to experience and moved on
First day, as a newbie, decided to get outcall to my place. Obviously a really stupid decision right there. Foruntately, it never happened. First person I made contact with said she would drive into town. To make a long story short, after several calls and several hours, it was clear she was not coming in. (She has continued to provide and I believe recently had a baby. So, go to plan B, which is to call a different provider (all of them that day were BP), who I later find out was posting fake pics of Alexis Ford (She posts under a number of fake photos on BP). Anyway, set up a three call with her. She told me the area, I got to the area, called back a bunch of times and she never answered. So, go back home, go back to backpage, call a third provider. She does come over and is a total ripoff, not to mention an idiot (see my first review ever posted). She leaves early and stole my house keys. Not wanting to go to bed knowing that some potential nut could come in and rob me, I call the locksmith at midnight -- this all started at about 2 in the afternoon. It takes the locksmith till 4 or 5 am to fix all the doors with new locks -- he had to go back to the warehouse at 2 am to get a part. So, I ended up with two no-shows, one ripoff for $200, and one locksmith bill for $400, plus had to stay up all night.
So, of course, I immediately recognized the craziness of it all and quit the hobby.....NOT. But I did join TER and the worst thing that has happened since then was when a previous reviewer mistakenly identified a provider as offering BBBJ when she really only offers CBJ. This is, in the grand scheme of things, not the end of the world
Ouch! Wanna know why she was a rip off and took your keys? Because she was not a hooker to begin with, and her boys were going to come back and rob you later on. Good call on changing the locks.
Posted By: ttcttc
First day, as a newbie, decided to get outcall to my place. Obviously a really stupid decision right there. Foruntately, it never happened. First person I made contact with said she would drive into town. To make a long story short, after several calls and several hours, it was clear she was not coming in. (She has continued to provide and I believe recently had a baby. So, go to plan B, which is to call a different provider (all of them that day were BP), who I later find out was posting fake pics of Alexis Ford (She posts under a number of fake photos on BP). Anyway, set up a three call with her. She told me the area, I got to the area, called back a bunch of times and she never answered. So, go back home, go back to backpage, call a third provider. She does come over and is a total ripoff, not to mention an idiot (see my first review ever posted). She leaves early and stole my house keys. Not wanting to go to bed knowing that some potential nut could come in and rob me, I call the locksmith at midnight -- this all started at about 2 in the afternoon. It takes the locksmith till 4 or 5 am to fix all the doors with new locks -- he had to go back to the warehouse at 2 am to get a part. So, I ended up with two no-shows, one ripoff for $200, and one locksmith bill for $400, plus had to stay up all night.
So, of course, I immediately recognized the craziness of it all and quit the hobby.....NOT. But I did join TER and the worst thing that has happened since then was when a previous reviewer mistakenly identified a provider as offering BBBJ when she really only offers CBJ. This is, in the grand scheme of things, not the end of the world!
Still the first week of hobbying, I was so pleased and sure of myself because I had a great time in my first session.
The second time, it was with an agency that was very cloak and dagger.
I remember they sent me on some sort of scavenger hunt, where it took three "clues" to find the place and I was frisked by a guy before they let me in.
There, I had to jump in this shower, where I felt I was being watched closely.
It was a little unnerving. Finally, I made it to the girl.
Frankly, I can't remember anything very specific about her except that we tried a number of things and some toys.
When I get home later, my SO at the time was asleep in the bedroom.
I get ready for bed and find that I'm still wearing a cockring from my session.
I can probably add 'uncle bill is an idiot' story's all day, I've probably made most of the common errors and some uncommon ones at one time or another. I doubt anyone cares enough for me to start a new thread dedicated to it though, lol
Thinking ducks did not have feet and that white meat and dark meat came from two different chickens. Fk yall. I said I was educated, not intelligent lol.
My first escort used to love to pound beers during our session and would always ask I bring a 12 pack with me. We would do 2 hour sessions and so I would drink with her. So when I moved on to my next new friend I brought along a 12 pack as always. She looked at me and , "who's the beer for? ". My answer was "uh you". Classy escort: "I don't drink beer". Me: OH, we'll maybe some of your guests might enjoy it Neither of us drank any of it. Saw her again the next week and greeted me with "Your beer is still here". We became good friends and laughed about it often.
Then didnt I piss my godam pants while unconscioys for few minutes. I ENDED UP WINNING THE FIGHT PISST PANTs anD ALL ONCE I GOT BACK UP! There were like a hundred people or more watchin the fight so. At the time I was all huffy puffy over it. Like all my stories, I think its funny now , looking back
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